I don't want to be...

by nioniosbbbb


Reclamation of the self

It was that moment, that accursed moment when the glass shattered for her and everything went straight to Tartarus. The moment she took it and stood up. That damned moment that doomed her into the life of misery. If only she could stop it. If only she had a moment to tell her that time.

I don’t want to be…

“Hey, Chrysalis are you there? Did you find it?” Twilight’s voice snapped the former Queen back into reality.

“What? Yeah, no I didn't find it. You know Twilight for a mare who prides herself on self-organisation you sure have a messy library.”

“Woahoahaaaaah!” there was a large thud as Twilight turned to see a book sliding across the floor. Despite the swaying stack of books Spike had managed to keep them from falling down by falling on his bottom. Grunting he got back up as Twilight lifted the books with her magic “You know she’s actually right. I keep telling you to keep one standard system of organisation and you keep experimenting over and over. What happened to Applejack’s advice of ‘if it ain’t broke don’t fix it’?”

“We can’t be idle Spike, complacency is the enemy.”

“Yeah, yeah…” as the two continued their talks Chrysalis’ eyes darted from them to the scroll she now held in her hooves. Swiftly and silently she slid it to her side-pack. She flew down from the top shelf and continued gathering scrolls.

A few hours passed before she exited the castle’s library. After the plethora of attempts to abuse ancient artifacts and knowledge stored in libraries Twilight thought that a new “secure, contain, protect” protocol should be implemented. Things had been like that for how long now? Days? Weeks? A month? She’d spent her time in Twilight’s new castle after her defeat doing chores between sessions of learning about the magic of friendship. Slowly but surely the whispers questioning her reformation were dying down, although she doubted there would ever be a moment anyone would forget. It would be a long road till anyone in that town liked her let alone the rest of Equestria. She huffed scoffing at the thought.

Why should I care what they think of me anyway?

Trotting on the way to her room she saw a purple unicorn mare with lilac and teal mane. There was no time to react, to change direction. The two stopped for a moment exchanging looks before Chrysalis blinked and continued passing by,  hoping that the unicorn would ignore her.

“Hey, Chrysalis!”

No such luck. Chrysalis sighed and turned “What is it Starlight Glimmer? I’m a little busy right now.”

“With what?” Starlight pursued “There’s a storm outside and Twilight told me you were finished for the day. I was hoping I’d find you in your room, but I guess I was too fast and I…”

“What do you want?” Chrysalis interrupted.

“Wa, there’s no need to be rude. I just-”

“Was questioning me, yeah I get it I’m not trustworthy. I don’t have time for this Starlight!" Chrysalis turned her back on Starlight and started trotting again "I'm going to my room to study for your friend’s tests.” Her room was just up ahead, now if she could only get there in time to...

The sound of more hoofsteps made it very clear she wasn’t going to get that chance.

Tsk! What a pain in the flank.

“Wait, Chrysalis! Stop!” Starlight stepped between her and the door. She puffed her chest and stood her ground.

“You’ve been avoiding me for a while now, not just me either. Besides some chores and your friendship sessions you’ve been avoiding spending any meaningful time with any of us. You’ve been cordial and all but it’s starting to get annoying and a bit worrying.”

She paused, her voice lowering  “Everyone’s concerned there’s something wrong. This isn’t like you at all.”

“Oh? Don’t you know who I am already? Didn’t you ask King Thorax and the rest of the changelings enough times to learn about me?”

“Well, I did, but even Pharynx said he was at most a military commander, and all he heard was that you had a dream, something about a ‘Black Sanctuary’? I refuse to believe you worked on such a project alone all this time without even one confidant or friend. Besides that still doesn’t explain your lack of interest in… well just about anything really!" She sighed heavily "It’s like you’re just going through the motions with no heart at all.”

“I had dreams, and friends. My friends were shadows. Shadows that disappeared when I became a Queen. There’s nothing more to it. Nothing at all.” Starlight felt Chrysalis’ cold gaze as chills ran down her spine.

“What I was before I became a Queen is no more, and what I was during my rule is no more. My dreams have long since faded to dust. Even what stands before you is nothing. You and your friends made sure of that.”

“You can’t accuse us for defending ourselves!” Starlight protested backing off a bit from Chrysalis’ accusations.

“I’m not, but I’m not going to pretend I liked it. I stand here because it was the only choice left to me. Back then, I took your hoof not because I wanted to, but because there was a horde behind you ready to kill me.”

“B-but you…” Starlight stammered and Chrysalis saw the opportunity to slide herself towards the door.

“Let me tell you, and your friends something.”

“Even if I embrace the magic of friendship.” She opened the door and stepped in her room. “I will never be friends with any of you. Never!” She closed it before Starlight could say another word.

Starlight stood there with her mouth agape. She made a motion to knock on her door but her hoof stopped midway.

“I will never be friends with any of you. Never!”

She knew that feeling, that empty bitterness that lingered after defeat. The uncertainty about the future once one’s self was shattered by an outside force.

“Guess it’s too much to ask you to forget that, huh?” Starlight said to herself while looking down. Gritting her teeth, she turned around, begun to leave. This could have gone better, she wanted this to go better. Afterall…

“I’ve been in the same place as you Chrysalis. So don’t you give up yet, there’s still a future ahead.”

 

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thunder cracked through the sky as it illuminated Chrysalis’ dimly lit room. Chrysalis smiled at the raging storm beyond the castle windows. There was something so comforting about being indoors, while watching the elements rage on outside.

Comforting, yet so restricting.

Chrysalis gritted her teeth. She wasn’t here by choice and it was her own failures that led to it. Now the ponies had her learning about friendship. Yet she held no interest in their lectures. Why learn any of these things?

She’d spent a lifetime learning how to survive, how to be a Queen and it was all swept up in a single day. Just one changeling sharing its love and then she had nothing.

“Even what stands before you is nothing.”

She was indeed nothing. A mare with no ambition, no aspiration, no past, present, future or freedom. She had nothing to look forward to, and no base upon which to build upon.

Another crack of thunder illuminated her room and her side-pack. The arcane scroll, along with other components she had sneaked out of Twilight’s library was still there. Chrysalis looked at it, continuing to stare at the dark spot as the moment that illuminated it left.

If only she had a moment to tell herself.

“If you pick it up, there’s a cruel fate waiting for you.”

It was the moment she stopped being a proper living changeling and stopped living for herself.

She grabbed the scroll with her magic and studied it under the dim candle light. She’d have to hide it before her room's numerous inspections and adapt the spell to suit her needs.

If that moment turned her into a nothing with no future then she’d only have to go back and redo it, right?

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All the hive’s caves inevitably led to this spot. The highest point, the center of it all. The place where commands were issued.

The throne room.

“If you pick it up, you’ll stop being normal.”

Those words echoed in Chrysalis’ mind as she looked ahead.

It was that moment, that accursed moment when the glass shattered for her and everything went straight to Tartarus. The moment she took it and stood up. That damned moment that doomed her into the life of misery. If only she could stop it. If only she had a moment to tell her that time.

I don’t want to be…

She stuck her hooves firmly into the ground, but even as she did the throne came closer. It looked at her with intent. It called to her, beckoning her forward.

No. She shook her head as the throne stood before her, growing in size, its shadow dwarfing her form.

NO! The room and shook violently along with the throne. Everything around her protested at her rejection, her blasphemous revolution.

I said NO!

Everything shattered. The room cracked into millions of pieces falling on her, seeking to bury her in debris.

“NOOOOO!!!” Chrysalis yelled cowering with her hooves shielding her head. As if obeying an order, everything froze in place and a blue hue covered everything. Chrysalis blinked and felt another presence. Standing once again upright she turned around to see the Princess of the night walking steadily towards her as upon her command the dreamscape throne room returned to its original form..

“When I sensed a troubled soul within my dreamscape I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Luna.”

“Not using honorifics or titles eh, Chrysalis? That’s ok.” Luna circled around Chrysalis from a distance as the latter kept looking at her with a sharp gaze, eyes locked in on her, with all semblance of the nightmarish disturbance now absent from the dreamscape.

“What do you want?” Chrysalis demanded.

“I already told…”

“I thought you ponies prided yourselves in your honesty. Can you drop the act? You’re talking to me, not one of Thorax’s changelings.”

“Funny, I thought you were a changeling too.”

“Quit being pedantic, Princess. You know what I meant.” Chrysalis’ eyes followed Luna.

“Do I? Does anyone? Do you let anyone under that thick shell of yours or are you all sassy snark?” Luna stopped and the two gazed intently at each other.

Chrysalis didn’t speak huffing in defiance instead.

“The thing is Chrysalis you’ve been exhausting everyone’s patience with your stonewalling. You haven’t been trying to make friends with anyone and frankly I don’t know how Twilight handles your stubbornness.”

“Maybe being treated like a friendship problem helps, you should ask Twilight about that by the way.”

“Yeah, if that was the problem you’d be dreaming of chains, not the moment of your defeat.”

“Hehe…” Her teeth bared, her fangs gleamed in the shadow of her mane. “Pffft!” Chrysalis put a hoof in her mouth, but it wasn’t enough to muffle the noise she had made.

“Hmmm?”

“PFFFFFT!” She continued, laughing heartily.

“PFFFFTAHAHAHAHAH! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAH!” Her cackling echoed throughout the room. She laughed until tears started forming down her eyes.

“What’s so funny?”

“—ahahahah! That’s… ahahahaha… that’s what you think this is?” Chrysalis held her breath, then coughed before clearing her throat. “Here I thought I had to worry about letting you in on my secrets. I never would have figured you were so dense. This is why I don’t like you ponies. You don’t understand a thing and even when you enter something as psychologically intimate as someone’s dreams you can’t seem to understand. Did you know I had to explain to Starlight Glimmer why I didn't want to be her friend? She couldn’t figure out someone who’s life she destroyed might not be so comfortable with being friends.” She grimaced and shook her head mockingly.

“Then why don’t you explain?”

“Because that’s what YOU want, and I’m NOT giving it to you anymore.” Chrysalis pointed her hoof at Luna and then slammed it down, punctuating each word. Her eyes were glowing green, teeth gritted in rage.

Luna stood firm, unmoving against the former Queen’s mockery. But she noticed something in Chrysalis’ last words “Anymore? What are you planning, Chrysalis?”

“I’m not-”

“Don’t toy with me, Chrysalis.” Luna interrupted. “I know I’m not overly reading into this as I’m sure you’d like to claim.”

“If you dare lay a hoof on them-” Chrysalis felt a chill run through her shell as the color drained from around the Princess, her aura blackening with every passing second “-I’ll make sure you end up a petrified statue myself.”

Chrysalis took a moment to recompose herself, trying to shake off the shivers. “Worry not. The only one I’m going to hurt is me.”

“What in Tartarus does that mean?”

Chrysalis looked at the throne, the former seat of her power now brightening steadily with the entire room. “I’m going to make sure I don’t make the same mistake as I did that day. This time I’ll say it loud and clear.”

Everything began turning white, the light shining through the edges of the dreamscape, cracking into the mental field.

“I don’t want to be a…”

Luna’s senses were overwhelmed by the light and a dull ringing pain in her ears as the dreamscape shattered.

She was laying in her bed, a hoof on her eyes blocking the morning sunlight. “Faust-dammit sister! NOT NOW!” She growled through her teeth and tossed the blankets aside with her magic. She had to hurry, warn Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer before Chrysalis did something stupid.

Afterall the last word she said said it all.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Breakfast comin to ya by the world’s number one assistant!”

Starlight Glimmer’s eyes fluttered open. Before her stood Spike holding a metal disk on his purple scaly claws. She stretched her hooves and rubbed her eyes, yawning.

“Rough night? Nothing Spike’s pick-me-up breakfast™ can’t fix!”

Starlight blinked “Did you seriously just trademark your breakfast?”

“What can I say?” said Spike as he put the disk on her bed stand “It’s one of my many unique skills. Might as well patent it!”

...

“PFFFFFT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!” They burst laughing, Starlight pulled him into a hug, her hoof locking beneath his jaw as she rubbed his head intensely.

“You’re the best Spike.” She said after giving him a noogie.

“You know it!” He said with a cheeky smile.

Letting him go Starlight turned her attention to Spike’s platter. It really was the perfect pick-me-up. It had everything. Marmalade, eggs, sandwiches, orange juice, tea and others. She grabbed a slice of bread and some marmalade and started eating.

“So, you didn’t tell me. Rough night?”

Starlight paused for a moment before swallowing down. “You could say that.”

“Let me guess, Chrysalis?”

“How did you-”

“Let’s just say you two weren’t as quiet as you thought you were. Honestly the whole castle was in a dull mood after that incident.”

Starlight sighed, her head hanging low “I don’t know what to do Spike. She can’t move forward and it’s my fault. How do I help her when I’m the one who stopped her?”

“Give her a reason.”

She looked at him like she hadn’t heard him “Come again?”

“I don’t know how to explain this but Discord turned a new leaf for Fluttershy, Princess Luna did it because of her sister’s acceptance, you did because Twilight promised you a better way to deal with your past.”

“I… don’t know how to do that.”

“Give her a reason, convince her. If she doesn’t see her future prospects, maybe you could show her. Like looking for a cutie mark.”

Starlight just stood there gazing at him stupefied.

“When did you get so wise?”

“It’s nothing really,” he said waving his claw dismissively “I was just in the presence of wise mares.” he paused “Who weren’t always so wise.” He paused again “I also learned from my own mistakes.” His eyes gazed in the void, lost in his memories.

“Fun times.” He stated vaguely while smiling.

“Twilight?”

“Among others.”

Starlight eyes widened “Can I borrow your breakfast? I have an idea.”

“By all means, but don’t forget to save some for Twilight. She always gets the munchies while working.”

“I will, thanks!”

Starlight watched as Spike exited the room, proudly puffing his chest. Whoever gets that drake will be a very lucky girl she thought. Taking Spike’s advice into consideration Starlight prepared herself to talk to Chrysalis once more.

Moments later with the breakfast hovering with her magic she knocked on Chrysalis’ room. Maybe a good night’s sleep had helped calm down her spirits.

Nothing, she knocked again. Something was bothering her, Chrysalis never took this long. There was an annoying little tingling sensation in her stomach that refused to stop and allow her to relax. She felt like the stress eating away at her. At least there was the cool, light breeze to help.

Wait… breeze?

She let the breakfast down and made a quick check. All the windows were closed and she was certain the castle doors weren’t open to the public yet. The wind was definitely coming from Chrysalis’ room. She had advised Twilight and the rest not to force themselves into Chrysalis’ chambers as a sign of their good faith, but now she wondered if her advice was right after all. If Chrysalis had left there was no telling what might happen, where she was, or what she would do.

She pushed the door open.

Her face morphed into wide-eyed terror as she stared at the blank spot in the bed where Chrysalis should have been sleeping, the windows swinging left and right at the mercy of the wind. The room was in a mess and stuff was missing, like her side-pack, but most importantly Chrysalis wasn’t there.

Chrysalis wasn’t there…

As if on cue a blue winged figure flew from the window and landed into the room, blowing a gust of wind.

“Dammit, I didn’t make it in time!” said Princess Luna gasping for air. Turning towards Starlight she rushed towards her and pulled her hoof.

“Starlight Glimmer, we need you! We need to get Twilight and her friends too!” She said knocking the door open “Chrysalis is about to do something catastrphically stupid.”

“Wait, slow down, hold up!” said Starlight as she tried to catch up. “What’s going on?”

“I saw Chrysalis in the dream not an hour ago. She said something that bothered me. We have to find her quickly!”

Not one to doubt the Princess’ frantic call for aid Starlight nodded “Wait! Stop and catch a breath before we split and find them all. You have to tell me what’s going on!”

Luna stopped and wiped the sweat of her forehead. “Where did you put the scroll you used to alter time?”

“The one I used to try and stop Twilight and her friends from meeting? Yeah, we were re-organising yesterday, it must be around somewhere. But what does it-”

“Chrysalis has it. I’m certain of it.” The Princess intervened “And she’s going to use it.”

“How can you be certain?”

“Before the dreamscape shattered she told me. ‘This time I’ll say it loud and clear.’” She paused

“‘I don’t want to be a Queen.’”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the morning sun rose in the east it cast long shadows over Ponyville. The predators of the night were banished like shadows before the morning sun. They slithered back to their nests, their crevices, their homes. The ghosts of the past faded back behind the veil as the Everfree forest once again lost its frightening aura.

Hiding behind the clusters of trees shone two dark green orbs. Chrysalis checked for one last time the small town certain that she wasn’t seen entering. Undoubtedly that wouldn’t last long. Once Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer or Discord were alerted it would be as simple as sensing her aura or the intense flow of magic that her spell would radiate. Regardless it gave her time to prepare her spell. Unlike those who tried to use the scroll before she would not risk the scroll being destroyed and herself being trapped in the past. She’d use a summoning circle and summon herself at the moment, and when the time came she’d return herself to the present.

One last time she checked her supplies: dead animals for their blood, silver and steel for the base, black marble for the focal point. Her magic was at its peak and she had memorized the invocation necessary. She closed her side-pack and ran deep within the forest until the rays of the sun were eclipsed by the Everfree's canopies.

There, within a small clearing she carved the runic circle. She used her magic to squeeze the animals from their blood and poured it into the carvings before tossing them aside. Similarly she melted the silver and iron which served as the border of the circle. The marble upon which the scroll rested was placed dead-center. She was meticulous, quick, but not rushing the crucial details like the exact placement of the marble. She’d shut the outside world and was only listening to her own mind, with no worry about cragadiles, manticores, or hydras. Let them dare and try to hurt her… she’d vaporise them in seconds.

Inspecting her work she found she found her work to be flawless, not a single blemish or mistake. She felt that same drive, that same determination that filled her from her glory days. That was good, she was doing good. She longed for that feeling, that sense of purpose she had when she was younger. That dream about building a black sanctuary walls where all her subjects would revere and venerate her. For the first time since she took Starlight Glimmer’s hoof and stood up she felt alive and full of energy.

Ready as she would ever be she stood in the center of the circle, and she channeled her magic into the runes.

“Summon me, summon me, summon me, summon me, summon me
Summon me five times yet deny me all five.

Steel for the past, silver for the present, blood for the future
Marble for the door that leads unto the river of time.
Close the path to future and present, and let the flow of time be reversed.

I hereby declare. I will be the sword of my will, and my will define my destiny
By the powers of this world, I command myself to the past!”

Bit by bit the runic circle was illuminated in blue, silver, and red as her magic fueled the spell. Rays of the multi-colored light shone from the circle upwards fluctuating circularly.

“THIS WAY!” A stampede of hooves, rustling feathers humming magic approached getting louder by the second. Chrysalis wouldn’t stop, she wouldn’t relent. The chant wouldn’t stop for anyone.

“I hereby declare. I am the forger of my present and future
I am the one who defines my past

Send me back unto the moment of sorrow and regret.
Until the moment of my return comes!”

Emerging into the clearing were the Elements, Princess Luna and Starlight Glimmer.

"STOP HER!" yelled Luna as she and Starlight realized the completion of the spell was at hoof. They lunged towards her. The circle burst envelopping the trio in blinding light.

And then, they vanished.

 

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All the hive’s caves inevitably led to this spot. The highest point, the center of it all. The place where commands were issued.

The throne room. Here the changeling rulers issued their commands for all to hear. Here, their subjects venerated them, here they spoke their grievances, their problems, their needs.

It was empty. Only the crown rested upon the seat, unclaimed for years ever since the last ruler died. The hive was in chaos, barely being held together in the advent of so many disasters. Love was scarce, and recovery was in question.

“If you pick it up, you’ll stop being normal.”

Those words echoed in Chrysalis’ mind. Those were the only words she could remember from her crowning and before. When she became a Queen everything from her past stopped mattering. Her memories, her friends, they all faded away.

All because of one moment. The moment she took the crown.

It was that moment, that accursed moment when the glass shattered for her and everything went straight to Tartarus. The moment she took the crown and stood up. That damned moment that doomed her into the life of misery. That moment her friends faded like shadows in the radiant sun and her dreams crumbled to dust. If only she could stop it. If only she had a moment to warn her younger self of the consequences.

She musn't become a Queen.

“GET OFF OF ME ALREADY!” Chrysalis yelled as she shoved the two ponies aside. They had piled on her after the spell took all three of them together.

Chrysalis escaping from the suffocating pile of ponies that were returning to consciousness, trying to shake themselves awake. Electing to ignore them she examined her surroundings.

There were no cocoons in the walls, no sign of any of prisoners she held during her reign. She flew through the hole in the ceiling to observe the night sky. Looking at the constellations she sighed in relief. They were indeed in different positions than in the present, or in this case the future.

Flying back in she was met by the two mares taking battle stances, confronting her from left and right.

“Couldn’t leave me alone could you?” She scowled at them “Why do you oppose me? Shouln't I be free to define my fate? Do what I want? Huh?!”

“Chrysalis-” began Starlight.

“Why won’t you let me change things?” Chrysalis cut in. “I’m sick and tired of failing, of trying to no avail, of making mistakes. Why would you allow me to repeat them? Why would you deny me the opportunity to correct them?”

“Wouldn’t you do the same?” She continued. “Wouldn’t you go back and change what you became? To undo what you did to that village? Prevent your younger self from going down the same path?”

“I…” Starlight hesitated.

“And you!” She turned to Luna “I know of your guilt, your sorrow, your mistakes. Do you not resent hurting your subjects? Your friends? Your sister? Is that not why you created the Tantabus?”

Each word struck like a hoof squeezing their throats, the guilt choking the words from them. Chrysalis sighed.

“What you see before you is a Queen’s world. My reward for this path, the end of the line. At first I embraced this path with a smile, lying to myself that I would be satisfied if I died like that. Seriously, how foolish could I be!” She said smacking her hoof down.

“Chrysalis...” responded Luna “You cannot mire in the past. I learned first-hoof that you risk more than just yourself when you wallow in your mistakes. You cannot casually mess with time. Playing dice with fate never ends well. A worse fate might be waiting for you if you choose this path!”

“It is, my choice and I have a right to MY happiness! If it's villainous to strive to better one’s self then I reject your future!” Her nostrils flared “I shouldn’t have to sacrifice my own future for others. I shouldn’t have to be their hero. Nor should you, that’s why I kept my distance from you.”

“Because you didn’t want us to suffer?”

“I didn’t want you to be hurt just like when I chose the path to Queendom. This” she motioned her body “is the reward for the path I chose. A former villain with no passion, no dreams, no aspirations. A mare whose drive was spent long ago.”

“Chrysalis,” started Luna.

“That mare is me?!”

The trio turned to find the source of the new voice. From the edges of their vision they noticed that in the hallway from the hive-tunnels to the throne stood a single changeling filly. She had her mane wrapped in a pigtail. She looked at them with her dark green eyes that had a double iris with elongated oval pupils. She turned to the ponies. Her mouth went agape with awe revealing a pair of tiny fangs.

“Are you two ponies?” She said curiously approaching Luna and Starlight. Adressing the former she spoke “I’ve never seen your kind before. Are you a Queen?”

There she was, the origin of the changeling mare whose exploits the ponies knew all too well. Known for her cruel and heartlessness, never hearing other creatures’ opinions. A tyrant who was held only by her own impossible standards, infamous for her absolute and unrelenting ferocity. None of these traits could be observed on the young filly.

“And you!” She turned towards Starlight “You know this mare?” She pointed at Chrysalis “What are two ponies and an impostor doing in the throne room?”

“I-I...” Stammered Starlight.

“Where did you come from? How did you find this place? What are your names? What…” the young Chrysalis overwhelmed the two mares with questions and they kept shifting looks back and forth uncomfortably between the younger Chrysalis and the elder.

Chrysalis looked at her younger self. She observed her younger self with a sense of nostalgia, enthusiastically asking questions, being inquisitive and curious. Her hooves were shaking. The ponies introduced themselves as she kept blinking she rubbed her eyes believing this to be an illusion.

There she was, that ordinary changeling that strove for greatness. The youngling had not yet known the wear and tear of life, nor the feeling of loss and failure. Her aura was fierce, her eyes full of that spark she’d lost long ago. There was still passion in her, a feeling that the Chrysalis of the future had lost. Happiness, sadness, anger and frustration had all faded and given way to cold-indifference. All that was left was a hollow body going through the motions with no direction or purpose.

All because of a naive decision.

“If you pick it up, you’ll stop being normal.” She managed to say after struggling, her voice trembling.

Her younger self’s ears perked, hearing her own voice talking back at her. Starlight Glimmer and Princes Luna joined her in shifting their attention to the elder changeling approaching them.

“You should consider it thoroughly before you pick the crown up,” her voice trembled with barely hidden sorrow.

“Who are you?” her younger self asked.

Chrysalis sat on her haunches at hoof’s distance from the youngling. “I’m your future self, come to warn you about what has happened to you, what you’ve become.”

She extended her hoof and caressed the cheek of the youngling. She was cold and shaking, she was afraid of her. The youngling retreated, leaving her hoof hovering in the air hiding between the two ponies. Chrysalis sighed, withdrawing her hole-filled hoof.

“I know what you’re thinking. I know you worry about the hive, about the future of the changelings, about the scarcity of love. I know you’ve been thinking for a long time about picking up that crown. It’s not the answer to your dreams that you think it is.”

“Enough, Chrysalis, I will not tolerate you speaking as if your future is over.” Said Luna placing a hoof between the pair defensively.

“You shouldn’t give up on friendship so easily.” Starlight joined in.

“My future is not yours to decide! I…”

The youngling’s face hung low, her eyes looking to the ground. Lost in her thoughts, young Chrysalis stopped listening. She felt herself suffocating. Hearing the bleakness of her future by her own self was devastating. She couldn’t believe it. What had happened to her? How did she fail?

No, there was one question more important than anything else.

“Do I make a lot of changelings happy?”

“Eh?” the trio she addressed blinked back at her as if not understanding the question.

“Do I?” she asked again looking at the ponies.

Luna and Starlight hesitated for a moment. They couldn’t lie to her, but nor could they burden her with the whole truth.

“You feed them, for a time.” started Starlight “You all survive, but at great cost.” Continued Luna.

Turning towards her future self little Chrysalis waited for an answer. The former Queen nodded “But if you pick it up, there’s a cruel fate waiting for you. You’ll lose your spark, your hope for the future. You’ll be like a husk that obeys orders with no dreams or aspirations. You’ll lose everything and everyone.”

“That’s ok.”

“Huh?” the eldest Chrysalis was taken aback from her younger self’s answer.

The youngling straightened herself, struggling to smile back at the mare beyond the mirror of time. Setting her sights on the throne and the crown resting upon it as she passed the trio.

“Do you regret becoming a Queen?”

“Of course.”

There was a sigh of relief “I guess you really are an impostor.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t you remember? We changelings are already living in Tartarus on Equestria. Squirming in the shadows, hungry, doing nothing but living until the next day.” She placed her hoof on her chest, grimacing in the pain that ate away at her.

“Windigos, chaos lords, Tirek the Devourer of Magic. Every changeling is scared, cowering in fear, frozen in inaction. Drifting aimlessly as you say you are.”

The sky shifted to lighter hues of blue and rays of light shone through the hole in the ceiling. “But I’m not scared anymore. I can’t afford to be. I’ll fight on anyway, I’ll fight and win a new future for us.”

Her eyes narrowed upon the crown, the artifact that would transform her into the Queen she was meant to be. “Are the changelings thriving in your time?” The silence that followed her question was long, but the youngling waited. Finally, Starlight broke it “You no longer lead them, but they thrive under one of your changelings.” she said honestly.

“That’s all I can ask for. I’d rather regret the things I did, than those I didn’t.” lifting the crown with her magic she looked back one last time. Her older self extended a hoof, but she was so far away, so far the older Chrysalis almost couldn’t see her.

“Please help her,” she said looking at the ponies “help her love others, and most importantly help her love herself again.” The ponies nodded. One after the other two hooves caressed her back, one from each pony that had come with Chrysalis. The trio looked at each other, their eyes communicating the same conclusion she reached.

Everything is going to be okay.

There was nothing to stop Chrysalis’ past from repeating. A green glow covered her horn, the unsummoning spell being cast. They watched as the youngling took the crown in her hooves and looked back at them one last time. “I’m certain now, this decision cannot be a mistake.” She placed the crown on her head.

The rays of the sun broke through the hole in the ceiling, filling the room with blinding light. Luna and Starlight hugged Chrysalis from the sides, their forms fading as the night gave into the day. The young Queen spoke one last time, one last wish, one last command.

“Build it. The Black Sanctuary.”

And then, they were gone.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They’re coming back! Watch out!” Twilight Sparkle motioned everypony away from the runes as they glowed once again. The elements were ready: Rarity and Twilight were preparing their spells, Applejack and Rainbow Dash stretched, ready to charge into action. Fluttershy primed her stare as Pinkie Pie readied her party canon. A ball of light formed from the center of the circle and grew, until shattering to reveal the trio of time-travellers wrapped in a hug.

“Stand down my friends, there is no quarrel to be had here.” Came Luna’s request.

“Eh? Twilight? Am I seeing things?” said Applejack seeing Princess Luna stroke Chrysalis mane.

“This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.” Said the changeling “I was supposed to stop myself from becoming a Queen, not seal the deal. Give myself a new future, not cement the one I already had.”

“Messing with time is harder than it looks, take it from me. I have experience and Twilight can vouch for me as well.”

Chrysalis laughed a bit, understanding what Starlight was saying. “I even did things exactly like I remembered them. As distant and vague as my memories were I replicated them to the letter. My warning, our exit, everything.”

“Messing with time is harder than it looks.”

Following Luna’s response Starlight Glimmer stood up. Moving in front of Chrysalis she extended her hoof.

“This time I’ll do it right. I’ll keep my promise to your younger self and help you honestly and wholeheartedly.”

The wind came and Chrysalis breathed deep. It was cool and smelling of roses and carnations. Peeking through the forest ceiling, the sun’s rays fell on her carapace hot and pleasant.

She took Starlight’s hoof. The moment she did a rainbow light flowed from her towards Starlight and Luna starting from her hooves. It flowed through her body, filling her holes in her body, wings and mane.

“Well that was disappointing, kind of expected a bigger change.”

“Yeah, no. I like my aesthetic thank you very much. Kind of the reason I didn’t want to take your hoof back then.”

“Did you just make a joke? I’ve never heard you make a joke!” Starlight’s face beamed and she started laughing, soon joined by Chrysalis.

Things finally felt like they were clicking together. Food and love regained their taste, and the world regained its color, its music. Life was once again music to Chrysalis' ears and she started dreaming. Dreaming of the perfect day when she would stand in front of her realized dream, the Black Sanctuary.

A sanctuary for those who had lost their path.

A school for those seeking to learn how to build a new life.

A refuge for the persecuted.

She would need followers, teachers, psychologists and creatures of all capabilities and skills. That’s right, she would once again be a Queen. A Queen of the people.

A Queen… of Friendship.

The End