Dear Department of Pest Control,
This is an order from the princess of friendship, you must send a team ASAP to the castle of friendship in Ponyville to deal with a large infestation of cockroaches. It is imperative that you resolve this issue as quickly as possible so
Twilight can stop freaking outI may resume my duties as princess without much delay.Thank you for your time,
SpikeTwilight Sparkle.
Dear princess Twilight Sparkle,
We will send a team right away. Considering the size of your castle and the amount of pesticide it would take to clear it out, it would cost you around 13,450 bits for the full service, plus an additional 500 for the immediate service.
Dear Spike,
I couldn’t help but overhear your cursing about the insane price for getting rid of the cockroaches. May I suggest and alternative method that would only cost you some hot sauce and a sore throat?
Your helpful maid,
Starlight Glimmer.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME COCKROACHES THROUGH SPIKE?! THEY ARE ALL OVER MY BED! I CAN FEEL THEM CRAWLING ON MY COAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I SCRUB IT! PLEASE STOP!
Your shuddering mentor,
Princess Celestia.
Dear Starlight Glimmer,
Your recent action against Celestia has been one of the funniest things I’ve seen in quite some time. You’ve certainly proven yourself a more capable pony than I’ve previously assumed. We may be able to strike a deal in the future.
Your possible ally,
Queen Chrysalis.P.S: I will make sure that the pictures I took from the event get the front page of every newspaper in Equestria.
Dear Starlight Glimmer,
Your little show of chaos gave me the biggest laugh since I took over Equestria a millennia ago.
I look forward to more shenanigans between you and the princesses.Your proud admirer,
Discord.
Dear Starlight Glimmer,
Your acts against the princess has made my imprisonment in Tartarus a bit more bearable today, so I asked my student to leave you a small gift as a thank you. I’m sure that you will find a good use for it.
Your happy benefactor,
Lord Tirek.