Dear Twiskank,
You know how you said that you would never give Trixie and I a marriage license? Well we discovered that Mayor Mare could so she gave us one and we got married! Yep, I'm a married mare now and you have no idea how happy my beloved Trixie and I are now. Never once did I imagine that this would happen when you sent me down here but now I want to do something I never imagined I'd do to a bitch like you.
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sending me down here because finally I am happy, very happy. I know now that I will never be alone and whenever things are going bad for me, which is quite often, I will have a sweet mare who loves me to provide me with comfort, both physically and psychologically. I know when I was in your school I preferred my solitude in the study tower but now I could never imagine life without Trixie.
Also, I have met Trixie's father and he seems to like me quite a bit. He knows that unlike your bitch sister, that I will never do anything bad to his daughter, ever. To make things even better, my parents have met Trixie and they absolutely adore her! They think that she will be perfect for me and they bonded with Trixie's dad in nothing flat. Long story short, we are all one big happy family!
Hell they all even like Cozy and think that she is the sweetest thing. My parents and Trixie's dad all think that Cozy simply gets a bad rap because of what happened with the school of friendship and her working with Tirek and Chrysalis. They know she has changed and hell, even Sludge was on his best behavior and they seem to like him too. I do know one thing, I'm probably happier now than you ever have been, even when Starbitch ascended you and you two took over.
Finally, forget me associating with those losers you want me to. I have Trixie as my wife now and she is making plans on adopting Cozy Glow so that the three of us can be a normal, well adjusted family. After all, she should have two parents and whether you like it or not, the two of us will see to it that she gets that!
I still can't help but remember how Fluttershy told me once that when you committed to her that she could still come and go as she pleased. She still laughs about it despite all the shit she had to go through after the fact. Unlike you, I have true love and I do have one big favor to ask you. I know you'll likely say no but could you ascend Trixie, Cozy and I into Alicorns so that we'll never be parted and we'll always be happy.
Hell, I'd even support you ascending Bright Beam too if you did that because Trixie and I are so happy to finally have secured true love and we want our happiness to be eternal.
Eternally Grateful,
Luster Dawn
Luster,
Ugh, gag me. I don't think I have ever read a more disgusting letter in all my life. They very fact that you and Trixie got married is enough to make me want to vomit. I know now that you have Trixie that family life will be more important than anything else but you will still hang out with those acquaintances some and I do hope that map will send you off on map missions with them often, very often.
Now isn't that just fucking sweet that you're all one big happy family? Good grief, you're acting like you just found a very valuable coin like Bright Beam did and have money to do something generous for ponies who are actually deserving of it. Right now I am seriously regretting ever sending you down there. I sent you there to be miserable, not find "true love" and get married.
Let me tell you this right now you little bitch, if you keep going on and on about how happy you are, I will force you to come home and forbid you from ever seeing Trixie again. I'll keep you so close under my wing that you'll actually get to watch my incredibly sexy sister and I get it on. Hell, just to spite Trixie, we might even force you into our bed! Wouldn't massive amounts of horn sex with your owner and her oh-so-sexy sister be fun?
Now I would do exactly that but I don't feel like having to put up with you on a daily basis and I know Cozy Glow and Sludge would miss making your life hell. I will let you know this though, we will not ascend you or Trixie. Cozy Glow, we might ascend her if she drives you two to kill one another and Bright Beam isn't there yet. Yes Starlight plans on ascending her at some point but not yet.
I would write more but I am so sickened that I will even have issues with sisterly bonding knowing that you have once again failed me in your quest to fuck up everything you do.
Upset You're Married,
Goddess-Queen Twilight Sparkle
Dear Starbitch,
Guess what, The Great and Powerful Trixie is married now! Yep, Trixie married Luster and she is so happy. Trixie is so much happier than she ever could have been even had you not stabbed her in the back. At least The Great and Powerful Trixie has a wife instead of an incestuous "love" for her sister that is only held together by sex. Trixie knows that is what holds you two together and she knows that if you two fought and stopped putting out for one another that you'd probably destroy Equestria in a battle to see who should rule it.
Also, The Great and Powerful Trixie plans on adopting Cozy Glow so we'll all be one happy, well adjusted family! At least Trixie's step-daughter won't be a couple of G3 rejects that were ascended for no good reason. Trixie knows that with her and Luster raising her, that Cozy Glow will become a model citizen of Equestria while your step-daughters will become nothing more than power hungry bitches who may overthrow you and Twibitch someday!
Having True Love,
The Great and Powerful Trixie
Trixie,
Who cares?
Signed,
Goddess-Queen Starlight Glimmer