But I Really Do Have Feelings

by Clearnote

Chapter 2

I was soaring through the clouds, up, up up.

I had no intention of returning to Ponyville. Ever.

Even for Sprinkle Medley. We had become friends, but this day just got worse and worse.

First, the ponies were teasing me. Then I got impaled. Then a vortex sent me here. And everything looked weird here! Next, everything I did was apparently wrong, then I was so embarrassed by Twilight Sparkle. That is NOT how I wanted to be discovered. What would they think, that I was a homeless stowaway who knew nothing. That thought made me even more upset. I wanted to be accepted here.

I stopped flying upward and sat down on a cloud. Oh, I wish I could have sat on a cloud back home, but they all burst! This land is simply illogical.

I started to sob, and the cloud got kind of soggy, but to be honest, I didn't care anymore.

If I had not been so lost in my sorrow, I may have seen the pegasus flying toward me.

"Hello?'' she said gently. I looked up at her. She was a blue pegasus mare with a vanilla mane and tail. Medley's symbol had been a raining cloud, but her's was two vanilla lightning bolts, the color of her mane and tail. She looked like a pony I knew from back home, and the third time is the charm, right?

"Firefly?" I asked. The pony shook her head. "I'm sorry, you must be thinking of somepony else. I'm Sassaflash," she said.

There were no ponies back home with that name.

Oh well!

I stood up. "I'm Wind Whistler," I said.

"That's nice!" she said, smile never leaving her face.

I knew that this would not end out well. I flew down from the cloud and walked back to Ponyville. I might be able to hide there, for there are many houses and trees and other such things. No one will find me. It is nightfall, and I hide under a staircase to a house. There I lay my head and fall asleep.


My head is filled with nightmares.

I see Twilight chasing me, hunting me down with Spike. When they capture me, I have no choice but to surrender. They use me as a servant, and I never find happiness again. Then I see Medley and Sassaflash urging me to stay strong, and that they are my friends, which I ignore. I trudge on, and when the dream seems like it is ending, it starts over again.

After seeing the nightmare about three times, I see an indigo pony, an alicorn, step into my dream. By then, I am weeping, and my bandaged hoof is starting to bleed again. She walks over to me, and I expect to be stricken, but she only places a hoof on my shoulder.

"You are seeing fear, and won't let yourself escape the fear," she says, soft, but boldly. I sob.

"I want it to be gone. I want to go home." I say, not strong at all.

The alicorn looks at me. "Are you lost?" she asks.

I explain to her my situation. She places a hoof on her snout.

"That is odd, and complicating, though I believe that Twilight Sparkle could help you," she replies. I am stricken by fear. Never will I see Twilight willfully. But when I tell her this, she stands up and begins to walk away.

"Unless you speak to Twilight, you will never go home," she says. Then she disappears.


I trot around Ponyville, now full of ponies being happy in the morning sun. I can easily hide, blending into the background. My head is filled with questions. Should I see Twilight? Should I not see Twilight and accept my fate? Should I talk to Sassaflash, or Sprinkle Medley? My brain was beginning to ache.

I was so dizzy in thought that I knocked into another pony. "Hey, watch it, you insolent brat!" he yelled in his hoarse voice. I have had enough. Maybe I should stand up for myself.

"You are insolent, additionally. Perhaps you need to remain out of my way!" I shouted back at him.

All the ponies around stopped. "Nerd!" some called. "Mind your own business!" called a few more. But there was one small colt in the center of the road. He looked at me and called, "Feelingless!"

Everypony else joined in with the colt. I ducked my head to hide my tears. The words were like knives stabbing me in the back. I only ran.


The crowds did not shrink, they only grew. They watched me run, tears flowing down my face. They called me names like 'Feelingless' and 'Emotion-Loather'. If anyone had no feelings, it would be them, not me. I am simply logical and do not use emotion to solve problems. But here, in Ponyville, I felt like I had shown more emotion than I ever had in Dream Valley. I was crying, standing up, feeling fear like never before, and back when I was happy, throwing out some large smiles.

But there was no smiling now. There were only tears, and they fell.

They fell a lot.

I finally approached my destination, but I did not slow down, or stop. I slammed open Princess Twilight's door and ran up the stairs to her table-room.

She was not there.

I was terrified. I walked around looking for clues of where she had gone. That's when I gave out a yelp. I had impaled my hoof, the upper right one again. It tears through my bandages, ripping open my wound and spilling blood everywhere. The pain is too much to bear. I let out a scream of pain, and collapse onto the floor. The last thing that I remembered was the floor. The shiny, shiny floor, like a mirror, a piece of glass, a river. Its smooth surface which had produced the sharp crystal.

I gave in to the pain and passed out on the floor. The shiny, shiny floor, like the vortex that had swallowed me up. I was like the floor itself, feeling as if I was part of it. Or like I was falling through it.