//------------------------------//
// The Instruction Letter 
// Story: Letters From The Enemy Inside 
// by The Sleepless Beholder 
//------------------------------//



Dear Starlight Glimmer,

I have several questions.

Why did I find two stallions stuck to the ceiling? Why didn’t they have any fur or hair on their bodies? Where did half of my food go? Why all the entrances to the castle have silver wire running through them? Why is there a bell on the roof? Why are my books disorganized?

Your confused foe,
Twilight Sparkle.









Dear Twilight Sparkle,

These two gentlecolts you found tried to enter the castle in the middle of the night to rob you blind while you were away, so I sent my rock-rat minions to deal with them. They proved to be too efficient, so I had to glue the stallions to the ceiling before the rats started eating more than just fur and hair.
My minions got understandably mad, so I let them eat as much as they wanted from your pantry. Sorry about that, I will put more effort into awakening their minds so this doesn’t happen again.

The silver wire and the bell are part of an alarm system I made so we can deal with future intruders more efficiently.

And the books, well, I was cleaning them, and I thought I put them back correctly. Did you want them in a specific order?

Your living security system, 
Starlight Glimmer.









Dear Starlight Glimmer,

For starters, all books must be placed 3.35 centimeters away from the front edge of the shelve they are standing on, and there must be an exact separation of 0.25 millimeters between each book, and a 1.25 separation between the last and first book in the row and the wall of the bookshelf they’re next to.

History books must be placed in chronological order by the era they are about, but you must also make sure to keep each century in one single group.

Science, technical, magic, and nature books must be placed in order by date of discovery/invention of the main subject they are about, keeping an accurate timeline of events.

Supernatural, legends and folklore books must be placed in order of credibility, and the bookshelf next to them must contain all the possible proof that justifies this credibility.

Novels and fantasy books must be placed not only in alphabetical order, but also grouped by author, editor, and publisher.

Cooking books must be placed in order of the average popularity of the dishes it contains relative to their place of origin and the country that’s the biggest consumer of said dishes.

Children books must be placed in order of recommended age for them to be read by foals, with picture books organized by the quality of their artwork.

Adult books must be hidden behind the third bookshelf on the right. There is a small button concealed behind it that will open a secret vault, make sure to keep it closed and away from Spike’s eyes.

(Spike here, I know where they are, have read them, and wrote three of them. In fact, half of those books have been written by Twilight’s friends. You should give it a try, it’s hilarious every time we leave one on the bookshelves for her to find and freak out. 
Fluttershy holds the current record with 34 books written and 25 faints caused.)

(Oh yeah, the instructions, I will send you the rest of the guide later. And thanks for defending the castle.)

Your happy employer,
Spike.









Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I left you some Paroxetine on the kitchen counter. Please take them, I don’t want you going insane before I enact my plan.

Your pseudo-psychiatrist,
Starlight Glimmer.









Dear Spike,

I have a few ideas for a book. Are there bets involved?

Your inspired maid,
Starlight Glimmer.