"Alright! Alright... I think I get the picture now." Celestia was waving her hooves back and forth in an attempt at getting Conrad to stop. Time had advanced quite a bit during the story, by Conrad's approximations, it was about 3:30 in the afternoon.
Conrad out down his hand onto the table. "I suppose that will be an adequate stopping point." Conrad threw back the last bit of wine he was given while he was talking. It, of course, still went onto the seat but it's the thought that counts. Leaning back, he put his hands behind his skull in a relaxing manner. "So when is your speech about my arrival gonna be? I'm itching to explore."
Celestia nearly kicked the table as she jumped out of her seat. "I ALMOST FORGOT!" Celestia just about threw herself out of the dining-room door. "I'll ask Luna to accompany you while I get to writing my speech!"
Conrad would blink if he had eyelids so he decided to shrug instead.
Luna entered the dining room 5 minutes later, she had a packet of papers stuck to her horn. "Conrad, would you please tell me why my dear sister was running through the halls like her tail was on fire and threw a packet of paper at me?"
"Speech," Conrad said nonchalantly.
Luna sat down and plucked the paper from her horn, gingerly enough not to rip it any more than it already had been. "I see." She began to page through it quickly, sparing an occasional glance at Conrad.
"Hey, Conrad?"
"Yes?"
"Is this 20-page packet your sovereigns backstory?"
"I believe so."
"It is incredibly disturbing."
"Yes."
Silenced reigned supreme for a few minutes. Luna teleported a few sheets of paper to her from her room alongside a pencil. She seemed to be filling out a page of some sort.
"Welp, totally using this story for my next O&O character."
Conrad tilted his head but smiled like usual. Conrad got up from his seat to walk around. His boots creating heavy footfalls against the tiles of the dining hall.
"Conrad, can you help me understand something?"
Conrad turned to face the lunar princess. "Of course."
"Tell me, what DID your sovereign encounter to give her the understanding of the necromantic web as she describes it?"
Conrad rested his skull on his palm and thought for a moment. "Well... That is hard to tell. I was never informed, but the theory is a primordial was the one that contacted her."
Luna pinned her ears to her head as she heard 'primordial'. "I uh... Have some experience with such beings..."
Conrad gave her a nod.
"Just... one more question. Do you feel pain?"
"No, I have no nerves."
"Well, do you feel psychic pain?"
"Always."
"How relatable."
Luna and Conrad sat in silence for a while longer. Conrad decided to look at the artwork on one of the walls of the dining hall. It depicted a mighty war between ponies and griffons. Celestia was seen leading an army garbed in gold descending on an encampment of griffons. Celestia looked majestic as always.
"I wonder how my sis is doing on her speech."
"I can take a look if you give me a mirror."
Luna raised a brow and summoned a Luna themed mirror to give to Conrad. "Apparently, teens like my motif and companies were able to capitalize on that."
Conrad grabbed the mirror and stared into it. The mirror reflected his skeletal face for a few moments before swirling into an eldritch purple hue that gave way to a window into Celestia's room. Celestia was furiously scribbling and revising her speech for later today. She seemed to be having a panic attack at trying to justify having the undead in her kingdom. Luna looked saddened at this display.
"Sister has recently been having panic attacks. I believe that stress is starting to pile too high for even her."
Conrad scratched his skull. With a quick flick of his finger, an illusory torch appeared above his head. "Princess, may I request you to ask the chef to bring me some chamomile tea?"
Luna got up from her seat and ambled over to the kitchens. She flagged a chef down and a few moments later was brought the tea of which she gave to Conrad. "What's the plan."
Conrad put the tea on the table. "Just watch."
Conrad stood to his full 6'5 height and brought his skeletal arms out wide. He widened his stance slightly and untucked his shirt for more freedom of movement. He took a deep, unneeded breath and released it. Conrad brought his head up and stared straight ahead as he gathered his willpower. He brought his hands together in front of him and exerted his will upon this strange new world.
A bright blue light appeared on the table before fading away. Luna watched as the tea on its plate began to rise as if carried by an unseen servant. Conrad brought himself back into position, arms wide, and head up. Instead of bringing his hands together like before, he instead brought them together near where his stomach would be before bringing them back out with his pointer fingers extended. In a grim and deep voice, he spoke the arcane words "Porta ratio" and pointed to the floor in front of him.
Luna could feel the pressure of magic as a doorway brought itself up from nothing. A maple door sat in its frame that opened under the supreme power of Conrad. Luna could see a swirling purple vortex give way to a murky version of Celestia's room. The door opening caused the room's magical pressure to become oppressive and it hammered upon Luna's skull. Conrad pointed to the door and the plate with the teacup full of chamomile tea floated lazily through the air and through the door to be set upon Celestia's desk as she was turned away.
Conrad let his concentration drop and the door vanished is a puff of fog that rolled across the ground into oblivion. He brought his hand downwards in a calming manner as he recentered himself.
"And, scene," Conrad muttered.
"Conrad..."
Conrad gave a glance over to the Lunar monarch.
"What in the 9 layers of Tartarus did you just do?"
"I used some of my most powerful and least powerful magic to deliver a cup of tea to your sister." Conrad tucked his shirt back in.
"The magical pressure you just exerted was immense. I can't believe it didn't disrupt your spells."
Conrad sat back down at the table. "What can I say." He wiped off his arms. "I didn't let it get underneath my skin."
Many guards say that they were temporarily deafened when Luna groaned so loud. No pony truly knew the reason for her distress.
Celestia kept writing and writing. Her scribblings were messy and fevered. She had to make a perfect speech on why the undead known as Conrad is allowed to exist within her city and why he would be granted a noble diplomat position. She put her head in her hooves and tried to get a grip on her breathing. The room felt cramped like it was closing in on her.
Celestia heard a plate be set down on the table, knocking away the darkness in her mind. She turned to the source of the sound and found a teacup filled with what smelt like chamomile tea. She looked around to find the perpetrator and found nopony around. At least until she reached out with her magic. She could feel Conrad's power radiating from an invisible and formless creature that was slowly shifting itself around.
Celestia gave a small smile and grasped the cup in her magic. Bringing it up to her mouth, she took a sip. The taste was as she remembered. The floral tastes danced across her tastebuds. The chamomile brings a sense of calm order to her. As she sipped her newly acquired tea, she could feel a little tingling sensation in her ears. Focusing on the sensation, she could make out words. Looking at her notes for the speech, she could hear them much more clearly.
"The pain you feel today is the strength you feel tomorrow. For every challenge encountered there is an opportunity for growth."
Celestia felt her resolve steel itself, her will become iron, and her focus sharpened to a razor. She knew exactly what to say. Celestia felt inspired.
"You know your worth. It’s time to show it."
Celestia brought her quill up in her magic and began writing what may be the best speech of her career.
Conrad watched through the scrying mirror as Celestia became more confident in her ability. His smile would be wider, but alas, his grin is eternal. Luna was much happier seeing her sister get better.
"What did you do?"
"Bardic inspiration. What it does is mysterious and unknown to many bards. But I believe it was described best by one of the most powerful bards in history." Conrad cleared his nonexistent throat. "There's magic in a bards song. It tells the listener what they need to hear when they need to hear it."
Luna could see a faint glow surround Conrad. The magic invested in Conrad coalesced into 3 power globes of soft yellow light that encircled Conrad. Luna could hear a ghostly song in the back of her mind, a sad and distant song, yet so full of hope.
"And you hear it too."
The globes of light bounced and bubbled through the air to surround Luna. Her worries began to disappear and her willpower became iron.
"The message in the music heard around the world. You hear your most loved ones voice telling you that you're going to have to fight."
The globes began a crescendo as they rose.
Conrad gave Luna a thumbs up. "And you're going to win."
The globes spun themselves into strands of golden magic as they reached out from Luna. They traveled the halls of Canterlot's castle, searching for the forlorn. The first strand of inspiration struck out to reach Prince Blueblood who had become depressed over his failure to fight Conrad. He felt emboldened as the thread pierced through him and disappeared. Blueblood heard the music too. Blueblood became inspired.
The second strand of golden light reached through the stone to plummet downwards to a forlorn Chrysalis. Her own kind abandoned her, she felt the poison of betrayal turning into a sea of hatred and loneliness. The golden strand of light pierced through her thick shell before disappearing. She could hear the music. Chrysalis could remember the happiness her children brought her, she could remember the unity they tried to give to her that she so violently rejected, she could remember the hoof of kindness the ponies had tried to extend to her. Chrysalis became inspired.
The last strand of light shot exactly downwards to strike out at Luna. She felt the warmth of a hug and the feeling of gratitude from a dear friend. But it wasn't Luna that became inspired, it was something deeper down. The nightmare inside her felt the warmth far more. Luna and the nightmare could hear the music. Luna remembered the time before she was princess, the innocence before the crown with her big sister. The nightmare remembered peace before the raging storm. The nightmare became inspired and faded away.
"Such is the magic of the bard. The quote is just told you was said before the most powerful bard gave his life for his world. They say that his last inspiration had been so incredibly powerful that it inspired a whole army to fight at peak perfection and save the world. The cost was his life for such a godly stunt. I like to believe that he became something much more in the afterlife. Perhaps a patron saint for bards would suit him best. Would you believe that his greatest fear was being forgotten? He was lost, but he was never forgotten."
The music began to fade into nothing, but the song would be remembered by those touched by it.
Luna looked at the ground as tears fought their way to the surface. "I see. A bard's inspiration is truly a gift."
Conrad nodded to Luna. "Yes. It is. Everyone deserves to feel it. From the highest of powers to the lowest of villains. Everyone deserves to be inspired."
It was half an hour later when Celestia came back to the dining room. She had a better attitude than when she left. "Conrad."
The skeleton in question was currently sitting upside down in his chair at the table. "Yes, your highness."
"The speech should be starting soon. I implore you to join us, you too Luna."
The lunar princess was reduced to the same fate as her skeleton companion, upside down in her chair. "Of course sister."
Celestia smiled as she shook her head. "You may go ahead of us Conrad, I need to speak with my sister."
Conrad gave a small bow and walked out the door.
The alicorns watched the skeleton leave. Celestia turned to her sister. "You seem to be friendlier to him sis."
"We have determined that he is not a threat." Luna scrunched her muzzle up in realization. "No playing matchmaker Celestia."
"I have no idea what you are talking about." Celestia looked anywhere other than her sister as she told the obvious lie.
"I'm watching sis." Luna narrowed her eyes as she back out of the room.
Conrad was seen sitting in a rather nice chair outside the main balcony door that Celestia would be speaking from. With the door being a weak point, there is always a guard standing there, with no exceptions. Said guard also graduated from training 3 weeks ago. The guard was terrified of the skeleton sitting next to the door he had been trained to guard.
Conrad had tried to strike up a conversation. "How's the family."
The guard shrieked. He didn't move at all, he just opened his mouth and shrieked at him before returning to position.
Conrad put his hands on his knees. "Guess no one likes the graveyard shift then."
The guard shrieked at the skeleton again.
Conrad used his pinkie bone to clear out his non-existent ear. "Geez man, can you keep it down? Loud as a shrieker over there. I remember the infestation of them."
Celestia trailed after Luna down the hall to Conrad.
"Conrad, please stop terrorizing my guards."
"I barely have to speak to scare him."
The guard shrieked once more. Conrad gave a gesture toward him.
"Exactly Conrad. Stop terrorizing him."
Conrad threw his hands in frustration. They hit the opposite wall. "Look what you made me do."
Luna rolled her eyes with a smirk and reattached them with her magic. "There, are we done? We have a speech to give."
Celestia nodded and moved out the door to a cacophony of cheering that became heavily muffled when the door shut with a light slam, kicking up dust into the air.
"Conrad, may we speak with you a moment?" Luna turned towards the skeleton.
"Of course, how may I assist you?"
Luna sat in front of Conrad. "We are worried about Celestia, while she seemed merry and happy when she went out there, she was nearly having a panic attack again when she thought nobody was watching her. We wish to ask you for your inspiration." Luna looked uncertain. "We hate to ask something of you so soon, but it would help immensely."
Conrad sat up and raised his hand only to be interrupted by the shrieking guard. Conrad looked at the guard and tried to look annoyed despite his ever-smiling face.
"Of course Luna. I would not be the bard I am if I just held back on my lovely inspiration-"
"Thank you, Conrad, it is ver-"
"BUT! I want something in exchange for my service."
Luna grinned. "Of course Conrad. Whatever you request shall be yours." Luna gave a mocking bow.
"Har har. I need a list of your recommended smiths and wood shapers. If you can find enchanters, that would be appreciated as well."
Luna nodded in understanding. "Ah, I suppose you are going to give them a deal they can't refuse?"
"Of course, my contracts are always fair. Just who would turn down eternal life."
Luna gave Conrad a genuine smile. "Of course, eternal 'life'. I will get you a list. In the meantime, I would appreciate some inspiration for my sister." Luna trotted away to do her part of the deal.
Conrad got up from his chair and rose to his full height. He prepared himself to give Celestia the inspiration to go on. Bringing his hands outwards, he began to invoke his bardic talent. The light of inspiration began to surround him. The notorious song of tricksters began to rise as a phantom orchestra began to play.
The light became chaotic, infused with the power of trickster gods across the realms. The light shifted from color to color as if to play to the music. The light bounced and bubbled upwards to the beat as the phantom music played. The light began it's descent and sped into the door, only to pass through it and reach Celestia. Conrad could hear the crowd going wild as Celestia's speech became bolder and more confident.
Celestia then shouted out for Conrad to make his appearance. The doors flew open and Conrad stepped into the light of a new world. The crowd went insane at the appearance of a new noble. The cheers soon turned to shocked horror as the distinctive sound of a crossbow violently cut through the music as the bolt flew through the air towards Conrad. Conrad would normally wave off the attack as the bolt would do little damage, but he could just feel the sickening explosive magic emanating from the silver shaft.
Celestia didn't have the time for a strong enough shield to absorb the attack. She couldn't deflect it as the bolt would go into the crowd. Conrad didn't have the magic needed to defend against the bolt. Conrad felt ready for the end and sorry he wasn't prepared enough.
As Conrad gave his silent goodbye, he felt his inspiration magic course through him as somepony nearby harnessed its power. A pony in a dark blur ran in front of Conrad and Celestia and took the bolt. Conrad witnessed in slow motion as something green splashed onto him. The blur fell into a bush far below the balcony as an explosion rocked the castle.
Conrad was left with one question in his skull. 'What kind of pony has chitin.'