//------------------------------//
// Being Misunderstood 
// Story: Beyond Me 
// by Boopy Doopy 
//------------------------------//

As she did every morning, Princess Celestia raised the sun.
It wasn’t a long process, taking only a few minutes to lower the moon and bring the sun high into the sky where it belonged. She quite enjoyed doing so for her little ponies, typically taking the time to paint a picturesque scene over Equestria. However, today she wasn’t quite as up to it as she normally was. She felt something… strange. Something out of place. She couldn’t tell what it was, but it made her uneasy.
This wasn’t the first time she got this feeling. She felt the same thing the previous morning, albeit much more intense yesterday than right now. She couldn’t tell exactly where it came from, but she had a feeling it was coming from Ponyville, the soon-to-be site of the one thousandth Summer Sun Celebration. She knew that this would be the year her sister would return, but it felt like there was something else, something she was missing. It felt like there was something else that wasn’t supposed to be there. It wasn’t necessarily bad, it was just… unexpected, and it was throwing her off.
Just as she had finished her daily ritual, a letter appeared before her, sent from her pupil, Twilight Sparkle, explaining how she believed that Nightmare Moon would return during this year’s Summer Sun Celebration. The princess knew she was correct of course, and wanted her to be the one to find the Elements of Harmony and bring her sister back to her, however, this feeling she had was making her anxious. She wanted her pupil to be a princess, for Twilight to succeed her in ruling Equestria, but she was nervous. She was afraid that whatever was causing her to have this feeling would interfere with that, whether on purpose or by accident. 
“Calm down, Celestia,” the alicorn thought to herself. “Nothing’s going to happen. You’re just worried about Luna’s return. Besides, Twilight’s a very observant pony. She’ll notice if something is amiss and report it to me.”
With that, Celestia decided she would send a letter of her own back to Twilight, giving her the task of making friends, as well as making sure that everything in Ponyville was in order for her Summer Sun Celebration.



I was feeling a lot more self conscious and uncomfortable in public than I was yesterday as Cheerilee and I walked across the town to the school. I really didn’t like the idea of having myself… exposed like this. It was easy to ignore yesterday because I was forcing myself to believe I wasn’t here, but now it was much more difficult. Yes, I had fur and a tail, but just from what I could feel of myself and see on these ponies, I could tell it wasn’t covering me that well. The fact that we were getting smiles and waves from random people as we walked as though nothing was wrong somehow made it worse, and I found myself blushing in embarrassment.
“Stop it,” I told myself. “You’re being sensitive again. You need to buck up and stop being so sensitive. You’re not a little girl, and these are animals. It’s not different than being undressed in front of a dog. They don’t care, and there’s nothing to be uncomfortable about.” But even as I told myself that, I couldn’t help the fact that it bothered me.
The sun quickly rose as we walked, once again taking just a couple of minutes to get to the center of the sky as we entered the schoolhouse. Just like yesterday, it was unnerving to watch, and quickly brought a question to mind.
“How does the sun do that?”
“How does the sun do what?” Cheerilee asked back, confused.
“How does it get to the middle of the sky so quickly? It should take it several hours to get that far.”
“Oh, well that’s Princess Celestia. She raises the sun and the moon over Equestria each day.”
“Is she- is she a real person?” I got out nervously. “Who physically raises the sun?” The idea that a horse physically raised the sun in this world was freaky to me.
“Yes,” the teacher responded. “She’s a real pony who lives in Canterlot and rules over Equestria. But enough of that for now. Why don’t you take a seat while I get an exam out to you?”



“This is a test I give to everypony who moves to Ponyville for the first time,” Cheerilee explained as she made her way back to the filly, pencil and paper in her mouth. Asher briefly wondered how she was able to talk and keep the paper from getting wet at the same time, but quickly put the thought out of her head as the materials were set in front of her.
“We’ll start off with math since it looked like you were able to do that pretty easily yesterday,” the teacher told her as she glanced at the paper. “It shouldn’t be too difficult, but if you do find yourself struggling, you can just skip any problems you don’t know.”
“Uh, okay, um…” Asher trailed off shyly. “I’m sorry, um…”
“What is it?”
“Can you- can you write it out for me?” she asked, her cheeks going red.
“Write it out for you?”
“The answers, I mean,” she explained, then held up her hooves. “I don’t know how to use these things at all, so I won’t be able to write it out.”
“Well, why don’t you try first?” Cheerilee suggested. “Then we can see what we can do if you can’t do it?”
“Okay…” Asher grabbed at the pencil, trying to pick it up, but was only able to push it and make it roll around. “I was able to do it yesterday when I didn’t notice, but now I can’t…”
“That’s okay,” Cheeilee told her kindly. “Why don’t you use your mouth to write for right now, and we’ll work on hoof writing later?” She noticed the filly looked uncomfortable with that suggestion, but didn’t say anything, instead simply picking up the pencil and holding it between her teeth.
She moved to stand over her shoulder and watched her slowly work her way through the questions, noticing her speed being controlled almost entirely how long it took her to write out the answers. It took her nearly an hour to complete the front and back of the paper, but all of the answers she gave were correct, even on the most difficult questions that even some Ponyville adults couldn’t do.
“Well, it looks like you did a very good job, Asher,” Cheerilee applauded with a smile. “It looks like you’re a very smart filly! You did better than anypony else your age.”
“I- I’m no smarter than anyone else,” the filly answered back quietly. “It’s just- I’m an adult, so I already knew all of that stuff.”
Cheerilee’s smile dropped at that. She was almost ready to believe the filly was seeking attention, however, perfect math scores would be something very difficult to fake. However, she decided to play this out before coming to any conclusions.
“Well, you should be very proud of how well you did, sweetie, regardless of how old you are.” She watched her blush, and perhaps cringe slightly, as she continued, “Why don’t we move on to reading and writing?”
“Um, I… I can’t read,” Asher said, almost inaudible.
“What was that, sweetie?”
“I can’t read,” she said again, looking down at her desk. She didn’t know why she felt embarrassed. She was an alien from another world. It shouldn’t have been expected that she would even understand what they were saying, let alone be able to read their writing. Still though, she couldn’t help but feel ashamed of herself. She was self conscious of the fact that everypony else her age could read but she couldn’t, and she hated it. She hated how sensitive she was being now that she was self conscious of it, and hated how emotional she was. She was starting to get worried that her being a little girl was messing with her head, and hated that she couldn’t do anything about it.
“You can’t read at all?” the teacher asked, wanting clarification.
“Well, I can read,” she quietly explained. “I just can’t read whatever language you ponies write in.”
“Well, how about we get another sheet of paper, and you can show me what language you write in, hmmm?,” Cheerilee told her as she quickly went to her desk to grab it. She set it down over the test and continued, “You can just write a quick poem or song if you’d like, or a happy memory you have.”
Asher sighed, but didn’t answer, instead simply picking up the pencil and slowly scratching out what she wanted to write. As she did, Cheerilee quickly realized that what she meant was that she wrote and read in Unicorn Script. Still though, everypony should have known how to read regular Ponish, and the fact that she couldn’t wasn't ideal. It seemed she would have to spend time working with her on that. She also made a mental note to contact authorities in Canterlot, since that was where Unicorn Script was most common.
The other thing she realized was that her writing was… complex. She couldn’t tell whether what she was writing was a poem or a song, but it seemed like what she was writing was much more thought out than most foals her age would write. Despite how long it took and the paper’s relative messiness, she thought what was written was quite impressive, if a bit sad seeming.



He doesn’t live there
Anymore
He wasted precious time
The life he used to live
Is over
He lost some peace of mind

Little thoughts of heaven
Secretly waiting
To escape
You catch a glimpse of sadness
As he went down
This tragic way...

Now he’s saying

My life
Has washed away
I guess this is the end
I’ll take another ride
Some other day
And wait to breathe again



“This is very well written,” Cheeilee told me. “Can I ask what it means?”
I sighed again and answered, “It doesn’t matter. It’s not like you believe me anyway.”
“Asher…”
She sounded sad, and I couldn’t help but sniffle because of it. I was feeling very tired right then, and placed my chin on the desk and closed my eyes. It was only a few seconds though before Cheerilee spoke again.
“Why don’t we move onto history?” she said quietly.
“I don’t know any history,” I told her, keeping my eyes closed. “Like I said, I’m not from here, so I won’t know anything.”
“Well, why don’t you just start by telling me what you do know?” she suggested kindly. 
“I mean… I know this is a place called… Equine? Or Equestria? And I’m pretty sure this city is called Ponyville. I know there are at least three types of ponies, and that I’m apparently an Earth Pony and should be able to use my hooves to pick things up. Um, and you told me that Celestia…” I shuddered, swallowed, and continued, “You told me that Celestia rules this world and physically raises the sun. And, um, and that God sounds a lot like her.”
I could tell by the look on her face that she was debating whether to ask me about God or the place I was from, before she finally said, “Why don’t you tell me about who 'God' is. Is he somepony you’ve met?”
“Well, um, met isn’t really the right word, uh… the best way to describe it would be that he’s all around us and is inside of me.” With my words, I watched her face contort as she tried and failed to keep a neutral expression. It took me a few seconds to realize how she was interpreting what I said, and when I did, I cringed too.
“He- he lives inside of you?” she asked, trying to keep her voice even.
“That didn’t come out the right way,” I responded quietly.
“Well, um… can you tell me what you meant when you said that?”
“I mean, uh, I mean…” I didn’t know why but the words I wanted to say were escaping me, and I was drawing a blank on how to clarify. “Let’s… let’s just move on please."
“Does he, uh, make you do anything you don’t want to do?”
“I mean, well, um…” I trailed off, thinking about me being a pony right then. “I- I guess technically, but I mean, I- I… I really don’t like the way these questions are phrased.”
“What kinds of things does he make you do?”
“Well, I mean, I- God doesn’t really make me do anything for the most part, but, um, I guess there are the Ten Commandments. I mean, I guess that’s… but I could choose to...” There was just… something keeping me from saying what I wanted to say the way I wanted to say it, and I didn't know what it was.
“Ten Commandments?” she asked. “Can you tell me what those are?”
I closed my eyes and quickly recited, “Thou shall have no other gods, thou shall not misuse the name of the Lord thy God, remember the sabbath day and keep it holy, honor thy father and thy mother, thou shall not murder, thou shall not commit adultery, thou shall not steal, thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor, thou shall not covet thy neighbors house, or his wife, or his slaves or his animals or anything else that belongs to him.”



There was a lot there for Cheerilee to pick apart in what Asher said. Some of it seemed reasonable enough, like don’t murder and don’t steal, but other things had her… concerned, like the filly’s mention of slaves and other “gods”, whatever those were. It also didn’t help that she seemed to understand what things like “coveting” and “adultery” were. However, she decided to start with something she felt might be easier to discuss.
“What is ‘the sabbath’?” she asked, trying to sound curious and not suspicious.
“The sabbath? That’s… that’s a day of rest from working.” Before Cheerilee could ask more, Asher explained, “In essence, it’s the weekend.”
“Ah, okay. What kinds of things do you do on the weekend?”
“Uhh… like I said, it’s a day of rest, but, I mean…” She tried to think of a way to describe it that would make Cheerilee understand without her getting the wrong impression. “Saturday is just a normal day really, and Sunday is when I go to church.”
“What is church?”
“Church is the place we go to worship God.” The filly watched the teacher struggle to keep a flat expression. “You’re taking this the wrong way…”
“I’m not taking anything in any way, I promise,” she told her. “But can you tell me what kinds of things you do while you ‘worship God’?”
“I- I- no, because you’re not- the way you’re talking is making it seem like you think I’m in a cult or being abused or something when that’s not what’s happening.”
“I promise I don’t think those things,” she lied as she put her hoof on top of Asher’s.
“Whatever,” she sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
“Why don’t you tell me about not being a filly? How long have you felt that way?”
“I don’t feel like I’m not a filly,” she started, working out that filly was what they used to say girl in this world, “I’m just… not. I’m physically not a girl. And you probably think I sound crazy because I think I sound crazy.”
“I don’t think-”
“Yes you do,” she interrupted. “It doesn’t make any sense that- ugh!” She felt herself becoming emotional again, clenching her teeth as tears started to form again. “I’m a man physically trapped inside this filly’s body, and I’m not supposed to be, but even saying that sounds so ridiculously stupid!”
“It’s not stupid to feel that way,” Cheerilee said as her hoof moved to Asher’s forehead, pushing her hair up some.
“Yes it is!” she cried. “It’s stupid, and I’m acting so sensitive because of it!”
“It’s not stupid, and you’re not being sensitive,” she insisted. “It’s okay to feel that way, and it’s okay to cry sometimes.”
“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I’m sorry. This is all just getting to me so badly.”
“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s going to be okay.”
“I…” she got out, wiping her eyes and trying to calm back down. "I might as well stop being a baby and just get used to the fact that this won’t change. I...”



I stopped, thinking over what I was about to say, what I’d been thinking and saying this whole time. God put me here. I already knew that, but why? Why did He put me here? There had to have been a reason for me to be here. I didn’t think I’d be in this position for the sake of it.
I didn’t think I was here to convert these ponies or anything like that. They were animals, and animals didn’t go to heaven, so it’d be almost pointless to try. Still, though, I couldn’t be sure, so I decided I’d make a little bit of an effort later. But not right now, because everything I said was being taken the wrong way.
The most likely explanation to me was that my faith was being tested. Yes, that was it. My faith was being tested, to see if I could be strong. That had to be what was happening, and made the most sense to me. It explained why I was a pony now and a girl.
“Maybe he wants you to be happy, and thinks this is what will do it,” I thought.
I blushed at that thought and banished it almost immediately. This… situation wasn’t going to make me happy. I was already perfectly happy before, on the path to a relatively successful life, hopefully opening up my own business or becoming a general manager or higher somewhere after I finished college. I didn’t see how being a little girl would make me anything but upset and depressed. I didn’t want to be one, and never once had I ever thought about wanting to be one. I certainly didn’t want to be one now.
Did I?
“No, stop that,” I thought. “You know good and well you’ve never thought that, not even one time, so don’t try and say you’ve felt that way before. You’re letting this body distort your thinking.” 
“Asher?” Cheerilee suddenly said, interrupting my thinking. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Huh? What?” I looked at her and saw that she looked concerned as she stared back at me.
“You were staring off for a good while. Is everything alright? You can tell me anything you’d like.”
“Yes, I’m fine,” I told her, my voice sounding way more timid and shy than I had intended. “I was just thinking to myself.”
“Was it anything you wanted to talk to me about?”
“No, it’s fine. It’s nothing.”
“Okay, well, in that case, I was wondering if it was okay if I asked you a personal question.”
“I… don’t see why not,” I responded, wondering where this was going.
“Well, actually, first, I know you said your name is Asher, but Nurse Redheart told me your real name is Ashley. I know you told her you didn’t like it, but is it okay if I called you that?”
“I…” Stop being a big baby. Stop being so sensitive. It’s a boy’s name. “Yes, that’s fine, I guess.” I paused, then before I could stop myself, added, “But only between us, please. No one else.”
“Okay, Ashley,” she started as I forced myself not to cringe at her immediate use of my name, “I was just wondering how often you wet the bed.”
I didn’t know what question I was expecting her to ask, but that wasn’t it. I’m certain that the confusion was evident on my face, because she continued, “I’m sorry. I know it’s embarrassing, but I need you to be honest please.”
“I… what? I don’t wet the bed,” I got out, blushing. “That was the first time since I was seven, and it wasn’t my fault.”
“Oh, I know it’s not your fault,” she said kindly. “Nopony is saying it’s your fault. Everypony has accidents, even adults. It’s just-”
“I didn’t have an accident,” I interrupted. “I- I thought I was awake when I was asleep, so I tried to use it then. I wouldn’t normally have accidents because I’m an adult.”
I watched her frown as she spoke again. “It’s okay to have accidents sometimes, Ashley,” she told me. “You don’t have to be embarrassed about that or make up excuses.”
“I’m not making up excuses! I’m really not this filly! I- ugh, I sound crazy!” I closed my eyes and took a breath to gather myself, then continued, “I held it all day yesterday cause I thought that yesterday was a dream, and then I wet the bed because I thought I was awake while I was asleep.”
She kneeled down to get down to eye level with me. “I’m not trying to make you upset, sweetie,” she said quietly, “but I need you to be honest because what you’re saying is making it sound like something really bad happened to you. Do you understand?”
“I’m being honest,” I said equally as quiet, “I just- what I want to say isn’t coming out the way I want it to and- and it’s making you think I sound crazy.”
“I don’t think you sound crazy. It’s just-”
“Can we just stop talking about this, please? I don't want to keep talking about this. I- I need to go to the restroom.”