A Very Special Question

by eiggengrau


Telling

On the appointed announcement-day, Discord wore a tuxedo and served wine to Fluttershy and her friends. The mares milled around chatting, lovely and sophisticated in their little black dresses. When the moment was right Fluttershy nodded to Discord and he flicked the edge of a wine glass with a claw. The glass rang like a gong, drowning all conversation and reverberating in the air.

“I’m so glad you could all make it here tonight,” Fluttershy said softly when the ringing died down, “especially you, Twilight, I know you are busy with your project. But since you are all my best friends in the whole world, I wanted to tell you all that Dissy and I are getting married!”

Five different squeals of excitement filled the room – but before the questions and congratulations could start, there came a loud knock on the door.

“Everypony’s here already, right dear?” Fluttershy asked.

Discord held up a hand and counted on his fingers. “Me. You. Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Pinkie Pie.” He was holding up seven fingers. He put his other hand, the paw, on his hip and frowned to think. “Hugger is passed out already and Loki is surgically attached to our liquor bar.” Nine fingers. “That should be all.”

The knock sounded again.

Discord peeked out through the gunslot. Without explanation he opened the door, performing a grand, flourishing, bow.

Their Highnesses Celestia and Luna stepped into Fluttershy’s cottage.

“Your Majesties!” she gasped, “welcome! We didn’t know you would be here tonight.”

All the ponies bowed to their rulers.

“My liege,” said Discord to Celestia.

“Discord,” she acknowledged, coolly.

“Do you come to forbid the banns?” he asked.

“Neigh, we come to toast the happy news! We seek only the happiness of all our subjects.”

In the twinkling of an eye, champagne was poured and passed around.

Discord raised his glass. “Er, to our glorious rulers!”

The Mane Six all called out, “Aye!” and drained their glasses as Celestia beamed. Luna acknowledged the toast with a shy smile.

A second round was poured.

Again Discord raised his glass. “To my lovely fiancé!”

Pinkie chimed in, “and to the best wedding party ever!”

Celestia waited until everypony were drinking the toast.

“And here’s to throbbing consummation!” she added.

Everypony in the room choked; Celestia grinned as she drank.

Twilight closed her eyes and raised a hoof to her face. At the best of times Celestia’s crass humor was embarrassing. Right now she really didn’t have patience for her Highness’ merry pranks.

Luna addressed nopone in particular, “forsooth, it bodes ill to 'llow our wretched but dear sister from out the castle with ballgag un-worn,” she lamented quietly.

Everypony focused intently on their drinks, hoping to hide their blushes.

“Oh excuse me,” Celestia prattled cheerily, “I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I should have remembered that a modern wedding is typically pre-consummated.”

Once more everypony tried not to choke.

“Fie” Luna muttered.