Jim silently watched as Stonewall and a few of his subordinates walked away, carrying Rainbow Dash in a magic field. He had been quiet since the colonel’s… advice, had been given. Not for the first time in the day, Jim had been offered words of kindness by another. Yet again, in a short span of time, the mind of the werewolf churned in a soundless war of conflicted emotions. A cynical part of him wondered if fate enjoyed prodding him with the good intentions of others just so that the sting of their betrayal would bite deeper into him later.
On the one hand, Jim clearly understood the meaning behind Stonewall’s words. Rainbow had been broken. She had experienced a pain like no other, experienced the embrace of death, and somehow pulled through in the end. Even now he could hardly believe the mare had come back to life; there was no doubt in his mind that he had felt that life slip through his grasp. Because of Jim’s efforts, her life had been saved from the icy grip of oblivion. Her friends and family would not endure the agony of having lost their closest companion or daughter. Rainbow Dash could continue to live and stay a part of their lives.
On the other hand, however, was the cost of her being saved. Rainbow’s life as a pegasus was no more, having died the moment Jim had thrust his curse down her throat. Whatever future she may have had, had now been ripped away. Everything that she had worked for, everything she may have strived to achieve, would be consumed by the new life that Jim had forced upon her, if it hadn’t been already.
She will have so many reasons to hate me for what I’ve done to her… Jim thought as his gaze followed the cyan mare’s rainbow mane, or what little of it hadn’t been drenched by blood. He idly took note of the new streak of cream that had snuck into it, finding it strikingly similar to the one he had seen in Scootaloo’s.
Yet another new question that I have yet to learn an answer to… he sighed. “So did the good doctor say why he wanted to see me?” Jim asked while he continued to watch Rainbow.
Fluttershy flinched slightly, not expecting to be addressed. “Oh, um, no. He only said that it was important that you speak with him.”
Jim hummed thoughtfully for a moment. “Then I suppose it’s time to see what he wants. Unless there’s anything you need me for, Luna?” he asked, looking to the princess.
Luna hesitated for a moment but shook her head. “Not at the moment. Even if I had, I feel it best for you to go to Thorough Good first. If he needs you for something, it must be important.”
“Heh, no need to beat around the bush. I’m aware that he’s more than a mere doctor - despite the old fart’s refusal to outright say it,” Jim said with a smirk. “He’s crafty enough to be elusive, but I’m keen enough to smell out his type, even without his admittance to being close to both you and your sister.”
A soft sigh slipped from Luna as she smiled gently. “I see. It’s quite a surprise that you could so casually call him that. If you truly knew his past you might not be so bold to say it, but he can be a bit of a stubborn mule in some ways.”
“Even if he was secretly a prince it wouldn’t faze me,” Jim replied easily. Then he chuckled lightly. “All he’s hinted at is that he used to be a well known figure and that Celestia had asked him to help me with Scootaloo if needed… And that if I did anything to harm the kid that he’d make sure to clobber me accordingly. Really, he’s such a sweetheart beneath the greying mane and subtle glares.”
“And that wasn’t an idle threat,” came Dr. Thorough Good’s voice from the open tent flap a moment before a large wet towel smacked into Jim’s face. “Now wipe yourself and get in here.” A bucket of water suddenly flashed into existence at the werewolf’s feet. “If my theory is anywhere close to accurate then you might be the key to saving a few more lives today.”
Jim quickly pulled the offending wash cloth from his face and leveled a flat glare toward the doctor, but found his attention drawn down to Fluttershy as she took the towel from his hand. The yellow pegasus made haste to wipe him down.
“Would it not be better to simply cast a cleansing spell on him?” Luna asked.
Thorough Good humphed. “Won’t do any good. That blood is a magic sponge. The spell would be disassembled and absorbed into him faster than it can work,” he replied, shaking his head slightly. The doctor then turned his full attention to the lunar princess. “But if you don’t mind, I would like you to be present as well. If my hypothesis is plausible then your help would be immensely beneficial.”
Luna nodded and looked back to the impromptu bath that Jim was getting. It took a bit of effort, but she managed to withhold her smirk as his fur was left pressed against his body. Depending on how one looked at the large werewolf as he was wiped down, his predicament could be seen as a display of just how lean and capable his body was beneath the fur… or of how amusing it was to see a large and intimidating beast be cared for as if he were merely a household pet.
Her amusement did not remain for long, however. As Luna continued to watch, she found the expression on Jim’s face to be mildly concerning. Where his frown had seemed more from faux annoyance at first, the longer she observed the more she found an increasing depth to his look. She could see the gears at work within his eyes as he watched Fluttershy’s efforts. At the rate the admirable pegasus was working, it would be some time before she could finish.
Jim watched Fluttershy as she lowered herself down to dip the towel in the bucket once more. The water had already begun to resemble a liquified ruby. After one more dip of the towel it would become too infused with his blood that Fluttershy’s efforts would become pointless. Yet even with a change of the water, it would take quite some time before Jim’s fur would be clean.
Lifting his arm from the gentle coaxing of the yellow mare’s hoof, Jim eyed his hand. His gaze traced along his extended limb, taking in just how much of his fur had been caked by the once crimson fluid of life. He knew it would take forever to rid his body of the blood. He also began to feel he knew a solution that would save time.
“Fluttershy, could you hold on for a moment?” Jim asked.
Fluttershy paused and looked up to Jim curiously.
“I want to try something, but I need you to give me a little room,” he explained.
“Oh, well, how much room do you need?” Fluttershy asked, confused and a little uneasy.
Jim offered Fluttershy a small smile. “Not much. I just don’t want you to have to waste too much effort if I can help it. Could you go beside Luna?”
Fluttershy nodded hesitantly. “O-okay…” she said quietly and floated over to hover beside Luna.
Jim waited for her to get in position before he brought his hand up in front of himself. He eyed his claws for a moment before closing his eyes. Taking a breath, Jim turned his focus inward. Then, releasing his breath slowly, he raked his claws across his chest. The searing bite of freshly cut wounds pulled a wince out of him, as well as a gasp from Fluttershy and a wide-eyed look of disbelief from Luna. Before either of them could voice their concern Jim’s plan had already begun as his wounds seeped black mist, the essence swiftly spreading across his body.
Damn it, this isn’t easy to control… Jim thought as he mildly clenched his jaw and concentrated. Though he had more or less suspected such an outcome as he willed his essence to move, it was an answer to a question he had been brooding on since his… well, ascension, if he had to choose a remotely fitting word for it. There was no enemy in front of him that deserved to be consumed this time, so keeping his mist on task and away from the others nearby was more difficult than before.
Of course, even with Harmony’s explanation, and even though he knew he shouldn’t let his thoughts wander, that word, ascension, brought about another curiosity. Just why, never mind how, was he still alive. By all logic, Jim knew he had been right on Death’s doorstep; laid out on the Welcome mat like a gift basket after the postman had rung the doorbell. Yet unlike the numerous occasions prior, this time Jim knew he was far beyond what he knew as being different. He had been brought so close to death so many times, surviving being shot through the heart by a pistol on one such occasion. Yet he somehow clung to life, even after being skewered just hours ago. Not only had he survived, he pushed himself even further.
The drive to protect the lives of others had been so intense that he had actually willingly permitted himself to accept his darker side… and all the desires that came with it. Even more than that, as if it were some warped proverbial cherry on top, he had somehow become capable of resisting not only the direct influence of, essentially, a demigod, but weathering magic capable of utterly incinerating the very dark magic that he was supposedly made of… devouring it instead.
Jim’s dark essence suddenly pulsed and spread further along his body, a few places extending like tendrils. He knew who they pointed toward, he even agreed that ‘tasting’ their magic would most likely be a satisfying experience, but they were not food. They were not to be preyed upon. Regardless of how enticing their magic was. He was not starving like before. His hunger would wait. Eating would come after his 'pack' was safe and accounted for.
The dark essence relented and smoothly slunk away into the depths of Jim’s fur. He took a moment to look over himself, a pristine white coat greeting him, free of any and all undesired substances. A grimace quickly took hold of his features as he eyed what he could see of himself. Ugh… why did it have to be so obscenely white? Hunting’s going to be so damn bothersome now… he grumbled internally.
“As efficient as that may be,” Doctor Thorough Good began, drawing Jim out of his observation. “I would advise caution in the usage of that ability. Now if you all would follow me, there is much we need to discuss.” With that said, Thorough Good turned and made his way into the medical tent.
Fluttershy moved first to follow the doctor, her steps purposeful. Luna made to follow the yellow mare as well, but paused when she noticed Jim had remained motionless.
Jim held his stare with his hand, his senses lingering on the sensation of the wings flexing with the mild annoyance he felt at Thorough Good’s remark. As if the doctor needed to tell him. Taking a moment to calm his nerves, Jim took in a steady breath and slowly released it through his nose with closed eyes. Put up with it for now… you can bite his head off later.
With that tidbit of self-assurance in mind, Jim opened his eyes and moved to join Luna by the open tent flap. He met her curious gaze as Fluttershy held the tent’s entrance open for the two of them.
“Are you sure you’re alright?” Luna asked, her concern lightly etching into her expression.
Jim sighed briefly and nodded. “It’s just been a long day that hasn’t ended yet.”
Luna eyed Jim for a long moment, her gaze lingering on his left eye, before she nodded and entered the tent.
Another soft sigh quietly slipped through Jim as he moved to follow her. He knew Luna was still worried about what had happened earlier, and that she was likely treading lightly around the subject while making an effort to not be intrusive. It was a rare display of kindness that he had never been truly offered before he had come to Equestria. He was thankful for her feelings, but if he stopped to dwell on that…
Images of that agonizing experience flashed through his mind as he lowered his head through the opening. Uncountable faces, all warped and twisted into nearly unrecognizable shapes, soundlessly howled in endless torment in the vast expanse of the void; a literal sea of sinners swallowed by the maw of an insatiable abyss. Inky tendrils burrowed into seemingly every fiber of his being, as if Jim was merely a tapestry for the Spirit’s frigid touch to be sewn into as it saw fit. The nauseating feeling that was forced upon him as he was reduced to a squirming fetus while it slid into his mind, like a giddy leech squirming through a gaping wound to freely feast where it pleased beneath the skin.
The firm pang of something striking the top of Jim’s skull knocked him back to the present. He jerked his head down in surprise and his wings sprung open, pushing a medical cart to tumble and spill its contents across the floor loudly. All eyes turned toward Jim, resulting in a number of the staff to gasp and freeze in shock.
Their attention was swiftly redirected as Thorough Good’s grey body stomped up to stand between the werewolf and his fellow medical personnel. “He’s here at my request. Don’t mind him, he just isn’t having an easy time squeezing through.” He turned his attention toward the nearest stallion nurse. “Would you please fetch Mr. Sweeps to help get this picked up.”
The stallion nodded stiffly and quickly left through one of the other two exits. Meanwhile, Jim found himself curious as to what he had felt atop his head. He knew what it felt like to bump his head or have it struck but, distracted as he may have been, Jim knew that he had never felt something quite like what had jarred him from his thoughts. His hand deftly moved to the top of his head. His fingers came into contact with something that he had not known was there, swiftly wrapping around it. A light pull was all Jim needed to determine that the long, faintly textured object was, indeed, attached to his skull.
Jim ignored the voices of those addressing him as he scanned his surroundings. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what it was that his head now sported. Yet Jim had to know for sure. He was only slightly aware of his anxiousness, as his thoughts could only burn with a singular question; an unyielding need to know the answer. The polished shine of a medical tray quickly found itself in his sights, the metal deftly plucked from the mess that surrounded it on the floor. A swift motion of his hand was all it took for Jim to find the answer he sought.
Reflected within the makeshift mirror was a face that Jim did not completely recognize. His wolfish features gazed back at him, taking in the same black nose and silver whiskers he had seen the last time he had observed his own reflection. Again he saw the painfully pure white fur that he just knew was going to be the bane of his hunting endeavors. However, the source of the growing, swirling pit of emotion in his chest, the pale blue eye that resembled a certain Spirit’s was the biggest, and most immediate, difference that he was unnerved by. The two long black horns were an oddity, but he could live with them; though they would definitely require some getting used to as they were nearly the length of his head.
Jim’s thoughts came to a crashing halt as something touched his wing. The suddenly unexpected reminder of the other new addition to him left his entire body to jerk him from his thoughts. Luna’s hoof quickly pulled away as Jim spun his head toward her, his eyes flashing with a brief magical glow as he spotted her. As their eyes met, Luna could clearly see his inner turmoil and her surprise swiftly bled into concern.
Luna gently moved forward and placed her hoof to Jim’s chest, instantly feeling the pounding of his heart. “Jim? Calm yourself. Please.”
Jim stared into her eyes for a long moment, his jaw clenching as he realized how far his emotions had gotten out of hand. He took a few slow breaths before his hand simply let go of the medical tray, the resulting clang seemingly ignored by all present.
Feeling Jim had calmed himself just enough, Luna continued. “Please trust me, Jim. I know something is troubling you, but it can’t be left to run rampant within you like this. What is wrong? Please tell me…” she asked of him softly.
Jim only continued to look into her eyes, his heart not entirely willing to relent his feelings. It was not so much an issue of trust, more of a matter of fearing the result of opening the dam. It was only in that moment that he finally felt just how difficult it was to contain everything that had built up in just a single day.
A warm sensation suddenly made itself known around Jim’s muzzle and his head was firmly, but gently, directed down and to Dr. Thorough Good. The grey stallion’s stiff demeanor had taken on a more compassionate air as he looked up at Jim. “I understand that you have a great deal on your mind, and I know Luna means well, but I beg you to come with me. You have much to ask, as do I, but doing so out here will cause my staff a great deal of trouble. Let us move to my office space. Answers will be given, of that I can promise you.”
A few long seconds passed as Jim held his gaze with Thorough Good’s eyelids. It was hard to read the stallion’s true intentions at first, but as Jim worked on easing his heart and body into a better state of calm, Thorough Good’s sincerity slowly bled into Jim. Subtle as it was, he could steadily feel the doctor’s feelings in the magic that was slowly being absorbed through his fur. Suddenly aware of his faint syphoning of Thorough Good’s magic, Jim quickly focused on stopping it.
A light smirk played across the doctor’s muzzle briefly. “I have an answer for that as well, if you’re keen to know.”
Catching the meaning, Jim nodded slightly. “Lead the way, Doc,” Jim said, his tone soft and measured. He then lowered himself down onto his hands to avoid another meeting with a supporting piece of the tent. As well, he made sure to put a little more focus on keeping his wings pressed as close to his back as possible. Instinct could only allow for so much control after all.
Luna and Fluttershy quietly observed, each showing a degree of concern. Fluttershy felt worried because she was unsure what had led to such a change in the previously strong-willed werewolf. She had seen the looks he had snuck her way, his regret for having let her be hurt just barely peeking through his gaze. Yet this did not seem like he was overcome by his feelings of guilt. There was something more happening to him, and she was at a loss as to what it might be.
The lunar princess was worried more than her yellow friend, knowing that whatever Jim had gone through had shaken him. She too was aware of what it felt like to feel the Night’s Bane influence her. Though she could not claim to know what it was like to feel it within her mind. Whatever alter-self she had manifest inside her had simply been too much for anything to slip inside. In a sense, Nightmare Moon had become a natural shield and prison for her consciousness, and a physical outlet for her pent up emotions, which only served to influence the magic that she had lost control of. Whatever had happened within Jim’s mind… Luna could sparsely fathom what it had been like. Just what had he endured in that encounter?
*
~~***~~
*
Jim huffed in silent annoyance as he finally managed to slip through the smaller opening that led into Dr. Thorough Good’s office in the medical tent. His irritation was quickly replaced by mild surprise as he noticed something off about the room. As he moved through the opening, his view of the room stretched, warped, and spread. Where he had expected to see a cramped space with barely enough room for himself to fit, he found an entire wall lined with at least a dozen fully stocked shelves of books, leading up to a vaulted ceiling. Additionally there was a large redwood desk, situated in front of what could only have been a personal study. The other side of the room seemed to be a rather elaborate laboratory of sorts, chock full of anything and everything a medical researcher, or maybe even a mad scientist, might need.
Turning back toward the entrance, Jim eyed Thorough Good questioningly.
The good doctor merely offered a mildly amused smirk before he moved toward his desk. As he neared the clearly used wooden object, though it could have been called his closest companion if one were to look back on just how much time he spent with it, a few gentle flashes of magic found a collection of chairs around the desk.
“Normally I’d have prepared a few choices of beverage,” Thorough Good began as he moved into his chair. “But I’m afraid that’s a luxury that I don’t have access to at this time. Take a seat, then we can begin.”
As Jim began to slowly make his way forward, Luna and Fluttershy followed in his wake. Though the princess kept her gaze keenly fixed upon the werewolf. She could just faintly see the gears turning in his mind as he moved. From the steady, calculated movements as he remained on all fours, to the fact that his ears twitched ever so slightly as his gaze took in more of the room. More than that, however, was the frown that inched its way further into his muzzle as they grew closer to Thorough Good’s desk.
Once he had arrived beside the desk, Jim eyed the doctor. Thorough Good returned the gaze steadily, of that Jim was certain. Unlike their first time meeting, Jim was much more aware of the doctor’s magic; the literal cloud of unseen etherial mist filling the room entirely. Of course, it was less the fact that he could feel the magic and more that there was more out of the ordinary within the room itself. Ignoring the chair in front of him, despite Luna and Fluttershy taking their own places upon a chair each, Jim continued to hold his stare with Thorough Good.
Silence dominated the room for a time. The intensity of the quiet was so prominent that even the gentle shuffling of a yellow pegasus’ wings, as she nervously looked between the good doctor and the werewolf, was glaringly noticeable to everyone present. Yet where Fluttershy was unsure about the silence and unwilling to break it, Luna chose to remain unspoken. There were a number of things she wished to voice, but until the time came the princess would let the situation pan out on its own.
The seconds ticked by and no words were spoken as Jim and Thorough Good observed each other. For Jim, he was curious about the two other chairs that had been summoned, but his biggest reason for prolonging the silence was because he was unsure what to ask first. There were many things that had happened, things that had turned his world on its head and then flicked gravity to the left, and things that had left him wondering if he had actually done anything good since his arrival in this world of ponies and magic.
Jim’s expression softened as the beginnings of his first question began to form at the forefront of his churning thoughts. He pushed himself up to stand on his back legs and easily leaned over the chair. His hands smoothly landed on the sides of the desk, the wood creaking slightly as his bulk pressed down on it.
“Do you have any idea… what I have become?”