//------------------------------// // Canterlot High Rumor Control Squad // Story: The Sour Grapes Chronicles: Equestria Girls // by The Incredible Werekitty //------------------------------// Monday. Monday was always the day that drew the most ‘blargh’ from the population of Canterlot high. Not just the students but the teachers as well. They didn’t want to come in any more than their young charges after a nice uneventful weekend. But then again this weekend HADN’T been uneventful. It had involved magic, and alien visitors from other worlds, and zombified armies of teenagers and tactical nuclear rainbows… Grapes was there and even SHE had trouble sorting out what was real and what was speculation in her head. She was wondering what was going to happen now that the fallout was settling. How were they going to explain this to the faculty, who were now all standing around the big hole in the campus grounds, their coffees in hand, staring at the part of school grounds that was no longer present. Then came a flurry of beeps as those teachers who could afford a texting plan received messages. Uncharacteristically Grapes felt a little nervous. She had gotten a call from Celestia to come to the auditorium where an assembly of the teaching staff (Such as it was) was going to be held. Grapes, unlike a lot of her fellow teachers, did not have a texting plan. Attendance was MANDATORY, a word that Celestia never used lightly. She came in and the front rows were peppered with the few, the proud, and those with the paperwork from an accredited institution saying they were qualified to teach. She sat next to Cranky who planted himself front row centre, no doubt irritated he had to arrive early to attend this little show. In her head Grapes did a count and noticed that there were a couple new faces as well. Celestia must have been really looking hard for teaching staff, possibly even getting people who’s teaching certificates were still trying. Celestia walked out on stage, serious but serene as always and shuffled her papers on the podium before her. “Thank you all for coming early. As you might have guessed, we have had a busy Fall Formal.” “YEAH! What’s up with the hole?” Cranky called out, in his usual to-the-point manner.  “Do you refer to the one in the landscape or the one in the side of the school?” asked Pokey Pierce, the Home Economics teacher. “Wall, Ground, Both. Take your pick.” “Thank you Mister Donkey, I’ll be getting to that in a moment. As you all probably have heard from one media outlet or another we had a gas leak this weekend and a student with a carelessly tossed cigarette accidentally ignited it.” She paused a moment to let this settle in before continuing. “This is a falsehood for the sake of keeping panic down.” The teachers rumbled amongst themselves before Celestia motioned to them. “Settle, settle. This… This is Rumor Control. I could just let you all make up whatever stories you want but seeing as the student body was all present to see the true events, it would be futile and so it is best to (as Mister Squall would say) bring you all aboard. First off, the damage to school grounds is not the result of an accidental gas leak. We are very grateful to young Mister Scapegoat for taking the blame for the ‘cigarette tossing’ excuse because it simplifies so much for the sake of insurance and law enforcement.” Everyone knew the student called Scapegoat. He just had a way of attracting trouble, and often got blamed for matters far out of his control. If nothing else, it would be believable he had been involved somehow. The teachers suspected some manner of compensation would be involved for this as well, most likely ‘tweaking’ in his grades. Changing a C to a B or perhaps an A minus to a solid A was not unreasonable nor unfair to other students. “Secondly, the damage was NOT caused by any form of terrorist act, either foreign or domestic. This… is hard to say, considering the truth. And the truth is hard to believe,” Celestia said with a huge sigh. Vice Principal Luna walked out on stage, pushing the AV cart with a television and antiquated VHS and Betamax players on it to center stage. She carried a large satchel which she carefully laid on the floor next to it and addressed the audience. “Perhaps, sister, we should borrow an old analogy. ‘A picture is worth a thousand words’ and let them judge for themselves.” She began pulling cell phones from the bag and showed them to the audience. “As you are all no doubt too aware, this generation carry personal recording devices just about anywhere and everywhere they can, documenting their lives in excruciating detail. I borrowed these from random students present at the… event and I assure you… there is no video trickery. No computer animation or editing were involved. This is raw footage. Please hold any questions until the end.” There was some fumbling as Luna and Celestia wired the Smartphones to the screen and got the right setting to display their memories. What the teachers were shown were the events of the dance, students enjoying a collective gathering of dance, social interaction and food… then lights flashed outside of the great gymnasium windows. The camera shook as the wielder carried it to the main hallway, and through the glass doors a red figure with bat wings hovering far above the property could be seen. Then a heartbeat later the front of the school was not BLOWN open but ripped away and cast casually aside as if by some invisible giant’s hand.  Grapes knew the events that followed, the zombification, the villainous monologue, the rise of the six and then… Tactical Nuclear Sunshine and Rainbows. She had to give kudos to “the cell phone operator, he kept it all going even when under the spell… then again he may have had it in his shirt pocket. It was hard to say. She glanced at the shocked and confused faces around her. She could relate, even with Desi next to her, when she was present she felt equally lost at the chain of events. The video came to a close showing the troublemakers making a go at putting the brick facade back together while the party returned to full swing. It was here that Luna ended the video before addressing the teachers again. “I have twelve more smartphones, each showing their own angle on the events we just saw, plus I am certain there may be dozens more among the student population. We did recommend that they do not share the videos, as our world may not be ready for the knowledge of such… magical events to be widely known.” “An excellent point, Luna. My fellow teachers, as I said before THIS is rumor control. Against all previous understanding and logic we have an unfortunate truth to address and come to terms with. Magic is real. Alternate realities are real. Also one of our students is an alien from one of those alternate realities… and she is willing to atone for her ill-intended actions.  All questions that you have will be answered as best we can. However, classroom rules will be in force. Raise your hand and wait to be called upon, please,” Celestia concluded with a heavy sigh. It was obvious that the revelations of the weekend weighed heavily upon the principal. It was at this time nearly everyone present raised their hands. Many questions were expected. Who did this? How long did they walk among us? What did they want? Will this happen again. Celestia did her best to respond with prepared questions, but when the questions became a little much for her she called up the other grown-up witnesses to the event to help. Grapes was glad that Desi and Squall were there to add credence. She wasn’t fond of public speaking off the cuff like this. Squall did his best to inform everyone that he had indeed seen stranger things and that this was not the time to panic. Desi had a PowerPoint presentation all set to explain the phenomena to the masses, but thank mercy was convinced by Principal Celestia to keep his enthusiasm to bullet points, especially around the possibilities of any lingering “magic fallout”. Grapes did her own best to appeal to the human aspect of the matter, that no one was injured beyond bruises and that with her nature and all of her machinations exposed Sunset Shimmer was no longer a threat and hopefully with support and nurturing would be salvageable. “I’ve already sort of ‘taken her into custody’ so to speak, and got her away from Jester Street. Too much mischief going on over there for my liking,” Grapes said. “And she has a whole  house-full of good influences, along with the five girls from last night. Be prepared for Sunset to receive a… less than stellar reception from the rest of the student body upon her return, however. School children, no matter what the age, have the option to be rather cruel and more often than not take it.” “I realize that we are all a little overworked right now, but Sunset Shimmer may need protection at times.” Celestia added with her classic serious tone. “I am by no means suggesting we… we…”  “...Mollycoddle her?” Squall recommended.  “Mollycoddle! YES! Exactly. We do not have to mollycoddle her. However should the students try to make a point of getting even we should discourage them. We must remind them that we, as a whole, are better than that.” Leave it to Squall and his impressive vocabulary to find just the right word to get across the point. Even if one had never heard the antiquated term, Mollycoddle before the very sound of it spoke volumes, though there were some confused looks. “‘Mollycoddle’ is an antiquated term meaning to spoil or indulge someone,” Grapes explained. “In other words, we’re treating her like someone who did a wrong, and is doing their time, but are giving her a chance to do better.” The Homeroom bell rang and all the teachers began to stand, before Luna called out to them. “Fellow Faculty Members! Before you get to your day’s tasks, we ask that you confirm that you understand the unofficial official school policy on this matter.” There were low tones of agreement. After all magic would be hard to explain to the superintendent, and even though she was a bully before, Sunset should not be allowed to become the target of retribution. The almost grumbling tone of the teachers seemed to satisfy the two sisters who nodded to one another before Celestia spoke. “Wonderful. This off-the-record meeting is hereby adjourned. Let’s hope the meeting with the insurance representatives goes as smoothly.” “Have fun storming the castle,” Grapes called to the principal sisters, as she headed out. “It will take a miracle.” Celestia muttered. “I find your lack of faith most disturbing,” Luna replied to her sister.  “Wrong movie, Luna,” Celestia said with a sigh. “Movie?” “You weren’t quoting Darth Vader, just now?” Celestia asked. “Who is Darth Vader? It sounds Germanic… or Dutch… similar to the words they would use for ‘Dark... Father’?” “Oh. Right. Boarding school. Next weekend, we’re having a movie night, dear sister,” Celestia asserted. “Oh Glorious! Then next weekend I shall pop some popping corn! My treat!” “Going to be fun introducing you to pop culture,” Celestia giggled, as they walked out of the auditorium. “At least we have something to look forward to after the insurance slog.” And with that, the school went back to… well… relative normalcy.