Letters From The Enemy Inside

by The Sleepless Beholder


The Unapologetic Letter

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I will assume from the bear traps and claymores that now litter the hallways of the castle that waking up with me snuggling against you in your bed made you really uncomfortable. However, I must say in my defense that this castle is a freezer!

You surely are smart enough to realize that crystal walls do nothing to keep the place warm without the sun, and you don’t even have a miserable chimney.
I bet that the only reason you haven’t frozen to death in your bed is because you share room with a dragon that acts as a living heater. So, either get some proper heating in your tomb of a castle, or don’t complain when sleeping with you is necessary for my survival during this winter.

Your freezing enemy,
Starlight Glimmer.

P.S: I’m serious, I will use your books as kindling if I have to!

P.P.S: I threaten you with the destruction of your personal life and you try to befriend me, but a little bit of personal contact immediately drives you towards attempted murder? Really?
Are you sure I’m the only one with you don’t have unresolved metal issues?


Dear Starlight Glimmer,

I wanted to send you this friendly little letter to inform you of your imminent demise.
You’ve rejected my offer of peace, invaded my personal space, and threatened my books. For this, I will give no quarter. Even if my friends say that I’m taking things too far, I won’t rest until you’re removed from my castle and life, so you better fall in line or leave this place before things really get ugly.

Your judge, jury, and executioner,
Twilight Sparkle.


Dear Starlight Glimmer,

While I do find this whole thing creepy and pointless, since your problem is only with Twilight, I will offer you to cuddle with me if you’re cold, just so things don’t escalate further.
The last thing anypony wants is for you two to start a nuclear arms race.

I can also leave you some warm blankets if you like, along with the hot coco.

Your neutral ally,
Spike


Dear Spike,

Your attempts at peace are useless I refuse to lower myself I must respectfully decline your offer I appreciate the sentiment but I just

Thank you.

Your conflicted enemy,
Starlight Glimmer.