//------------------------------// // X E N // Story: Half-Life: Pastel Paradise // by I aint no damn brownie //------------------------------// “So.. uh..” I started, staring at the door to the spire. The door of destiny. “Should we just.. go inside?” Spike asked, scratching his head. “I.. I guess so.” I replied. Come on, Gordon! Why do you have cold feet now? You weren’t this nervous when you had to enter the lambda core. And that was an even more nerve-wracking experience! The whole journey through Black Mesa was building up to that moment, and you just went along with it. Where’s badass hero Freeman?! Can I have him back?? I’d much rather have him over clown-ass pussy Gordon. Spike sighed, derailing my train of thought. “Okay, buck it. Let’s just.. no more putting it off. Let’s stallion up.. and do it. Just do it!” Spike exclaimed, throwing his arms up in the air. He briskly walked to the door and flung it open. This time, no radioactive shockwave came out. I’m guessing it’s because the pressure wasn’t as built up as it was the first time ‘round. If you catch my drift. I’ll never speak again. I walked up to Spike to get a closer look, but wasn’t too shocked at what we found. It seemed to be a bedroom, and a basic one at that. However, a staircase wrapped around the interior, leading up to a window. This.. is the interior of the spire. The correct one, I hope. Good to know it had an easy-access staircase. But god, imagine if we had the wrong one! That would be the worst. We.. most likely have the right one, though. I had momentarily forgotten about the whole ‘Radiation shockwave’ thing, mind you. That was a good sign. For us being in the right place. The correct place. I’m stalling, aren’t I? I am. I exhaled through my nose and shook my head. “Alright, let’s head on up.” I said, turning to face the entrance to the staircase. Upon hearing no reaction, I tapped Spike’s shoulder. His eyes widened as he straightened up. “Okay, let’s do it.” Spike agreed, following my movements. I grabbed the railing as I began my ascension. I didn’t grip it per se, I just sorta glided my hand along it. As one does when climbing a set of stairs. After a few menial (and rather tiring) minutes of walking, we arrived at the window. Glass door. Balcony door? Eh, whatever floats your boat. Not like it matters, anyway. A window is a window. I undid the latch and pushed it open. The window showed no resistance to my actions, so either it’s a new window, or it gets used plenty. I’m presuming the latter, but the former is also a viable option. Windows break all the time! Well, when you smash them with a crowbar, they do. Semantics! Though, I don’t know why I referred to it as a balcony door, because there’s.. no actual balcony. This window just leads to another set of stairs that wrap around the outside of the spire. A very thin set of stairs, might I add. I put my back to the wall as I slowly stepped out of the room and onto the stairs. I motioned for Spike to follow, and he slowly went through the motions. “Don’t look down.” Spike muttered, grimacing. I immediately looked down. But, since I don’t have a fear of heights, I didn’t- just kidding! Are you serious? Anyone in this situation would be shitting themselves in terror, fear of heights or not. The only thing I was thankful for in this situation.. was the lack of shit in my suit. “Gordon, would it be gay if I said I wished we were holding hooves?” Spike squeaked out. “Kinda, but not really? And it’s holding hands. You don’t have hooves. But that doesn’t matter. This type of situation calls for it I’d say!” I choked out, clenching my eyes shut. Spike grasped my hand and I cracked open my eyes, now feeling a lot more safe. If one of us falls, we can pull the other back up. The risk of death has been lowered significantly. “No homo.” I said, slowly beginning the journey up the stairs. “What does that mean?” Spike asked, shuffling along. “Some slang from when I was a teenager. It basically means ‘This is really gay, but I don’t want it to be gay. So it isn’t gay.’ You know?” I explained. Spike nodded, “I guess that makes sense. So.. uh, no homo?” “Indeed. We speak of this to no one.” I commanded, staring at him intently. Spike nodded once more. “I agree. This never leaves here.” We continued to climb the tower, occasionally freaking out when one of us slips slightly and damn-near drags the other one with them. And then celebrating when we realize that nobody died. All in all, this whole situation was incredibly stressful, and I wouldn’t recommend anybody try it. Our saving grace wasn’t as quick to arrive as we had hoped, but we got it. We made it to the top of the stairs, and were now standing on the spire. The teleporter sat in front of us, menacingly. It’s green glow casting a dim light on our faces as we stood there like action heroes. “So... do you wanna go first?” I asked. But just because we looked like action heroes didn’t mean we actually were. “What the buck? No! You go first, you’ve used these things before.” Spike reasoned, pointing at it. “You may be correct, but that doesn’t mean I like using them! They make me feel nauseous.” I argued back, crossing my arms. “Well I guess neither of us wants to go then.” Spike said, snorting. “Oh, I wanna go.” I chuckled. “I wanna get this over with quickly.” “So go then!” Spike yelled, gesturing to the green and yellow orb. “I just don’t wanna go first!” I shot back. Spike groaned. “You know what? Buck it. Fine.” He ran and dove into it. The portal let out a few electric shocks, a bright flash, and boom. Spike was in Xen. I waited a few seconds.. And sighed in relief. Truth is, I didn’t want to go first for one main reason. NOT because I didn’t like it. No, I actually found it super fun. Thing is, I didn’t know if these things disappeared after someone entered. It was a very real possibility that I didn’t want to risk happening. I didn’t want to enter and then have Spike be left alone. So, if he goes first, the only person that can be left behind is me. I could have found another way to get to Xen. Spike couldn’t have. It was the most tactically sound way to enter that wretched place. But enough rambling. Adventure time. I stepped back, and began running. Only, I froze instantly when I heard a voice in my head. My momentum carried and I fell over, but I haven’t enter the portal just yet. I sat near it, listening as it made ambient noises. Then I remembered the voice. “Citizens of Equestria. Citizens of Equus. This is Princess Celestia, of Equestria. I’m sure you are all aware of the current predicament we find ourselves in. My little ponies, it is going to be okay. My little griffons, my little zebras. Everybody. Everything is going to be fine. We have a group of two currently trying their hardest to take this out at the source. Snip it at the bud, as they say. But I don’t know how long they will take, and in the meantime.. I need you all to take shelter. Word came to me that Applejack of Ponyville is making a safe-house at Canterlot Castle. Any stragglers, please go there if shelter is not readily available to you. And do not worry, if you cannot make it, because Rainbow Dash of Ponyville is going around Canterlot; looking for you. Looking for anypony to help. Please.. seek shelter. And if it comes to a situation where you have to get past any of these monsters, for any reason.. do not hesitate to kill. I repeat. Do. Not. Hesitate. These are not creatures that can be reasoned with. They are mindless beasts. Stay safe, Everyp-body. I love you all. And Spike? Freeman? I’m counting on you both.” Yeah no pressure! Totally not gonna fuck up, die, and doom the whole world. I got this! I don’t got this. But me not having this is Future Gordon’s problem! Now, back to the message thing. Gee.. a little dark, don’t you think? I mean.. it’s probably pretty effective.. but wow. And, a little off-topic, but I’m happy that she learned what I told Applejack and RD; and I’m SUPER glad she knows what me and Spike plan to do. How she figured that out..? I don’t know. Magic? Fuck, probably. I wiggled my body a little to shake off my nerves, and ran a hand through my hair. I took a deep breath, stepped back, and pulled out my crowbar. I took one last step back. I was at the edge of the roof now. I faced forward, and sprinted. At the last possible second, I jumped into a dive, and went face-first into an incredibly radioactive portal. Awesome. “You dumb.. bitch!” Twilight yelled, casting an offensive spell in Celestia’s direction. “You let him go?!” Celestia put up a shield in stunned silence, blocking the attack as she pondered that. ‘Dumb bitch?’ “Freeman was a danger to the population, Princess Celestia! He caused this whole thing.. and you say ‘I’m counting on you’!? What the buck?! What are you counting on him for?!” Twilight yelled again, throwing a nearby glass cup. Anything to try and hurt her old mentor. Celestia side-stepped it, and cleared her throat. “Twilight, what in Equestria has gotten into you? Usually you’re more level-headed than this.” “I can’t be level-headed when the LEVEL-HEADED ONE LET A CRIMINAL GO!” Twilight tossed a tapestry from the wall. It hit Celestia, but it didn’t hurt. “Twilight, to clarify.. Freeman did not cause this. We tested him on it and everything. We don’t know the root cause of the invasion. It could be anything. But I know for certain.. it isn’t him. And the reason I’m counting on him is because Applejack told me what he and Spike planned on doing, and it’s.. rather heroic. They’re going to the beasts’ home realm, and taking out their leader.” Celestia explained, looking Twilight in the eye. Twilight sat there, frozen. He... he didn’t cause this? Freeman didn’t do anything? She... she was.. Wrong? “B-but-“ Twilight started, but she was cut off. “But nothing, Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia interrupted. Twilight’s eyes widened at the use of her full name. “I know you sent those guards. You sent an entire platoon of stallions. Buck, Twilight, you sent more than one platoon! To take out an.. an innocent stallion. Somepony who assumed he had the fate of the entire world on his back. Somepony who, at the moment, does have the fate of the entire world on his back. He already felt as if everything was against him, working towards his failure, and you just reinforced that theory!” Celestia scolded, voice raising. She didn’t like disciplining Twilight, or yelling at Twilight. She knew her student only ever had everypony’s best wishes at heart. But sometimes that excuse won’t work. This couldn’t go unpunished. This was a serious endeavor, one that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Twilight had attempted the assassination of the only stallion that knew anything about the situation. The only stallion that knew what needed to be done. Had she succeeded.. All of Equestria would have been doomed. They wouldn’t have been able to bounce back. Celestia didn’t know that the orb on top of that spire was a teleporter. Nopony did! But Freeman knew. And yet.. despite all this. All of the ponies attempting to harm him, all of the insolence from Twilight, from Luna, from HER.. He still felt the need to try and help. He still wanted to save Equus. And she couldn’t, for the life of her, figure out why. Freeman had every right to, at one point, say ‘Buck it’ and give up. But he didn’t! Why didn’t he?! Celestia sighed. She should just count her blessings. She was lucky that Freeman was so forgiving.. Her thoughts were interrupted as she heard a sniffle. Right, Twilight. Celestia looked up at her student, and she noticed the tears threatening to fall. Twilight sniffled again. “Princess, I..” “What, Twilight?” Celestia responded, feeling a strike of sympathy. Yet she forced it down. No, no. This was what Twilight needed to learn. “I’m sorry!” She yelled, bursting into tears. “I’m not the one you need to apologize to.” Celestia said, calmly. Twilight stared at her in confusion, until it clicked. “Gordon! I need to apologize to-“ “It’s too late for that, Twilight. I’m sorry for getting your hopes up, but Freeman is already gone. I’m assuming he’s in.. Uh, ‘Yen’. I don’t actually recall the name of it.” Celestia muttered sheepishly. She coughed and regained her composure. “But he’s in the alien world by now, I’m sure of it.” Twilight’s nose twitched and she slammed a hoof onto her armrest. “Damn it!” She held her hoof in place until she began to shake, more tears leaking from her eyes. She bucked up. She bucked up bad. CHKK CHKKKKK FWOOOM PCHCHCHHEWWWW Having gone face-first into the portal, that also meant I went face-first out. “Dammit!” I yelled upon smashing my face into the floor. I groaned, and slowly sat up. I took off my glasses, cleaned them with the gloves, and put them back on. “Everything okay, Spike-“ I froze at what I saw. It.. it was.. Beautiful. This.. this isn’t Xen. Where am I? Xen was.. bland. Boring. Highly dangerous, but overall kinda.. blank. It was just a bunch of floating islands. But.. this? I.. I just.. words can’t describe it. It looked.. aquatic, almost? There were still floating islands.. but they had so much more substance! I could see gear from the Black Mesa science team, so they’ve been here. But.. why didn’t I go here? Is this still Xen? Is it another part of Xen? Why didn’t I get to see this Xen? This is awesome! “Gordon.. are you seeing this?” Spike muttered, awestruck. “Yeah.. yeah I am.” I said, just as amazed. Wow.. Sorry to sound like a broken record.. but this is just incredible. The moment was ruined by a distant WHIRRRRR.. I groaned and pulled out my crossbow. I looked into the scope and fired, hitting the houndeye dead-on. It died quickly, letting out a whimper. “Way to ruin the moment!” Spike yelled, and clicked his tongue. “Some ponies..” I snorted, and started to chuckle. Spike joined in quickly. After a few seconds of goofing off, Spike turned to me. “Alright. That was fun, but we’re still in, you know, death territory. What do we do now?” He asked, straightening himself out. I put a finger to my chin, taking after Spike’s habit. I mean.. “Uh.. find another teleporter, I guess. There’s probably some seemingly convoluted but actually really easy puzzle we have to solve, though.” I said, turning away from Spike and looking back at Xen. It’s like stargazing.. incredible. He nodded, “Uh, okay. Seems easy enough.” “Seems.” I muttered. “What was that?” Spike questioned, perking up. “Eh, not important.” I said, doing a dismissive hand gesture. Spike shrugged.