Nothing Without Me

by chillbook1


Just A Friend

“So that will be the red gown, your majesty?” asked Raven, pouring over the sketches she had been delivered. “Mind you, Miss Rarity said that there’s still time for some adjustments, if you need them.”

“I trust Rarity implicitly. The red dress will do just fine,” said Princess Celestia, nodding at Raven from her throne. “Please, tell her to use her discretion in regards to the design. She has brilliant instincts in these matters."

"I'll be sure to inform her as such in my next letter." Raven checked this item off of her agenda, ready to move on to the next thing on her list. "And that looks like all we have for right now. Your tea cart should be arriving at the parlor shortly, and so you can take your break now, if you'd like."

"That sounds splendid. And what of you, Ms. Inkwell?" asked Celestia. Raven peered down at her list, noting all the things she needed done for the day.

"I have a few meetings I need to have with some of the potential vendors for the Gala." Raven scribbled a few notes in the margin of her list. "There's still some license issues to resolve…"

"Could I perhaps convince you to delay?" Celestia tilted her head, flashing Raven her pearly whites. "I would be delighted if you were to join me for tea."

"Hm… there's still quite a lot to do…" mused Raven. The princess began to pout, which more or less tied Raven’s hooves. "Well, if you're so insistent, I suppose I could join you…"

"Excellent! Come along then, Raven, the tearoom awaits!" Princess Celestia spoke quickly, before Raven could change her mind, and directed her to a door off to the side of the throne room. Raven, of course, knew the way, but it was still a strange sensation to be entering the parlor as a guest of the princess.

The princess' tea parlor was fairly small, and sparsely decorated with just a few chairs set around a small table, set with teacups and saucers. There were also a fair few paintings lining the walls, of Princess Celestia, her sister, her niece, and her prized pupil. At the princess' instruction, Raven sat down followed soon by the princess herself. Almost immediately, they were joined by a member of the kitchen staff with the princess' tea cart in tow. They swiftly set the table with tea, sugar, cream, honey, lemon wedges, and a platter of assorted cakes, tarts, and scones. They bowed to the princess before silently departing, leaving the two to their tea.

"Go on, help yourself," said Princess Celestia, nudging the platter of sweets forward. "Sweet tooth though I may have, I can't very well finish these sweets alone. Miss Rarity would never forgive me if I managed to gain too much weight to fit in her new design."

"I don't imagine that is very likely to happen, your majesty. But, from what I know from meeting with Rarity… I don't think that would be a pretty sight," said Raven with a slight chuckle, reaching for a blueberry scone. As she took a bite, she noticed the way the princess' gaze lingered on her. "Is there something wrong, your majesty?"

"Quite the contrary, my dear. It's actually quite a relief to see you out and about like this." Princess Celestia poured out a cup of tea for both Raven and herself, then added what Raven determined to be far too much sugar to her own cup. "I was afraid you'd spend the rest of your days drowning in your work."

"After all that happened, I just needed something to focus on."

"I'm afraid that Harpy said much the same once upon a time." It went quiet for a bit after that, save for the clinking of china as they sat their tea down. "Speaking of which… how is Harpy doing? I would have liked to see her myself, but I think she may be avoiding me…"

"She's… Well. You know how she is. Not exactly the most open pony in the world," sighed Raven. "She's kept away from the bottle, if that's what you're asking."

"I admit that to be a concern of mine, yes. This may well be the hardest obstacle Harpy has ever had to overcome. We need to be by her side if she's to stay on the straight and narrow."

"Mh-hm." Another silence fell, during which Raven was able to really examine things. Harpy had never been one to let herself be vulnerable or emotional, something Raven had suffered for over the years. But, now that a bit of time had passed since the funeral, and Raven herself had come to grips with things, it was obvious that Harpy was hurting just as badly. "She… She gave me my dad's old guitar."

"Really? That's quite interesting," hummed Celestia. "I knew that Birch had left it with her after they went their separate ways, but I assumed she would have sold it, or thrown it in the trash. To learn that she kept it is very interesting, indeed…"

"Hm? Why's that?"

"Well… Oh, Harpy really should be the one to tell you these sorts of things…" Celestia shook her head, taking a sip of her tea. "Birch was a fantastic captain, one of the best I've ever had, but his true passion was always music. He wanted to leave the guard so he could pursue that passion, something Harpy took umbrage with. They fought for quite some time over this, Harpy wanting him to stay with his stable job, whereas all Birch wanted to make music."

"Yep. I definitely remember the fighting…" murmured Raven.

"I don't know precisely how they came to this point, but eventually… Birch convinced her that it was what he wanted more than anything else," continued Celestia. "You can imagine how hard it would have been for your mother to admit that she may have been wrong, so she supported him in her own, very ‘Harpy’ way."

"She gave it to him?" asked Raven. Celestia nodded. "I never knew that. Doesn't really sound like a thing she would do."

"It wasn't, not at all. It was her attempt at an olive branch. Her way of letting Birch know that, while she didn't agree with his path, she loved him and would support him wherever he went." Celestia took a sip of her tea, avoiding Raven's gaze. "For her to have held onto it all these years, and give it to you… I wonder what she intended to say with that gesture."

"Maybe nothing," said Raven, although she didn't really believe that. "Maybe she just wanted to get rid of it."

"Perhaps. I've learned long ago that a quick and easy recipe for madness is to attempt to figure out Harpy Inkwell," chuckled the princess. "You were always better in that endeavor than I. Nopony can read Harpy better than you."

"Honestly, that's a bit sad…" Raven tapped her hoof idly, her thoughts consumed by her mother, her father, and that guitar. Harpy knew that Raven couldn't play, so why did she give her the instrument? Neither mare was particularly sentimental, so the idea of this being some kind gesture seemed unlikely to Raven. "I guess it doesn't matter why she gave it to me."

"I think it matters quite a bit. Harpy may be trying to tell you something important, and you may regret not listening." The princess tapped her hoof against the table, cracking a grin. "Ah, but enough serious business, let's move onto something fun! Who's the lucky stallion who gets to be your date to the Gala?"

Raven nearly spat out her tea.

"P-princess!" coughed Raven. "I-I…"

"Or mare, whichever is your preference. Of course, I support you in all of those endeavors," continued Celestia, unfettered and undisturbed. "But the day is sneaking up on us, and you really ought to start thinking about your dress and the like."

"Respectfully, Princess, I had no real intention of attending the Gala. It's never really interested me.” Raven cleared her throat, her cheeks tinged slightly red. “I’m not much for these high-class parties.”

“And you think I am? But, ever since Twilight and her friends began injecting some much-needed life into the Gala…” Princess Celestia chuckled. “Well, it’s an experience that simply can’t be replicated. It’s worth going, if only for one year.”

“Even if I wanted to go, I can’t imagine anypony would be interested in accompanying me,” said Raven, tracing the rim of her teacup with her hoof. “I’m not the most popular, or attractive, mare around.”

“Oh, Raven… I wish there was some way I could show you just how wrong you are,” sighed Celestia. “I happen to know quite a few stallions who would love to accompany you to the Gala.” The princess took a deep sip of her tea, innocently looking away from Raven. “Perhaps even a griffon or two?”

“Princess, Garrus is just—”

“Just a friend, I know, I know.” Celestia shook her head slowly, setting her tea down and giving her advisor a good, long look. “Raven, if I may speak openly… You’re making a mistake. You need to start caring for yourself, dear. If Mr. Oak is not to your interest, I understand, but I don’t want to see you drowning yourself in your work. Not like…”

“Harpy, you mean. You don’t want me to end up like my mom,” said Raven. Slowly, Princess Celestia nodded. “I don’t think one party could have saved my mother from becoming what she is now."

"It certainly would not have hurt," remarked Celestia. Raven let out a tired sigh, at which point the princess shook her head. "Please, Raven. Just promise me that you'll consider it?"

Raven pursed her lips, deep in thought as she considered the situation. She wasn't one for parties or any sort of social gatherings, let alone ones with the most snooty and obnoxious that Canterlot had to offer. Still, she had heard good things about the Gala since Princess Twilight and her friends had begun attending. Whether the Gala was good or bad was almost irrelevant if Raven couldn't secure a date, and she was confident that she wouldn't be able to. She wasn't one for flirting or anything of that sort, so Raven didn't even know where to begin.

"Alright, Princess," sighed Raven finally. "I will… consider it. But I can't promise that I'll change my mind." The princess grinned, trying to hide her glee behind her teacup as she took a sip.

"That is all I could ask for, my dear."


"So…" Raven tapped her hoof idly against the table, her discomfort with the situation persisting. Though she had indulged in brunch with her mother and Garrus before, something about this dinner put her supremely on edge. She wished desperately that she could have ordered some wine, to take the edge off, but that was not in the cards. Not with Harpy there with her. "Have you ever been? To the Grand Galloping Gala, I mean."

"Of course! I was the talk of the event, Princess Celestia notwithstanding," remarked Harpy. "Your father and I went every year until we split." Harpy took a deep sip of her water and frowned, as if upset at the fact that it hadn't somehow become hard liquor since her last sip. "Why do you ask?"

"No particular reason. It's just that it's coming up soon, and it occurred to me that I've never actually attended the Gala as a guest," said Raven, with an unconvincing aura of nonchalance. Harpy peered at her daughter, but decided not to press the issue just yet.

"And I don't imagine you've had the opportunity, Garrus?" asked Harpy, a small, almost invisible smirk across her face. If Garrus noticed, he made no mention of Harpy's amusement as he shook his head.

"No, ma'am," he answered, entirely oblivious to the strange, somewhat awkward air of the conversation. "I've only been here a bit under a year, haven't had the chance. I've heard stories, though. I'd like to go someday. Sounds like a hoot."

"Heh. Hoot," snickered Raven. Garrus tilted his head in confusion, and so Raven fired back with her best owl impression. "Hoot hoot, featherbrain. The one time I actually do make a bird joke and you miss it."

"Hilarious as usual, Rave. Comedy gold." Garrud shook his head as he stood up, though he couldn't fight off his grin. "I'll be right back, gotta hit the john. You ladies stay out of trouble."

"Not on your life," said Harpy with a wave. She grinned her cheeky grin as Garrus walked away, leaving mother and daughter alone at the table. As soon as Harpy was sure that Garrus was out of earshot, she turned to face Raven. "So, when do you plan on asking him to the Gala?"

"Ack!" Raven hacked and coughed on her water, choking from sheer surprise. Harpy scooted her seat over to whack Raven on the back with her deceptively strong and heavy hooves (like mother, like daughter). "Not you too!"

"If you wait too long, somepony else will snatch him up." Once Harpy was certain that Raven wouldn't choke to death, she continued on as if nothing happened. "If I was just ten years younger…"

"Mom!"

"I'm just saying, I see why you like him."

"I said it before and I'll say it again," sighed Raven, burying her face in her hooves. "Garrus and I are colleagues and friends, nothing more. Just friends."

"Yes, you two are just friends." Harpy let out snort, rolling her eyes at her daughter's entirely unconvincing argument. "And I'm sleeping with Shining Armor."

"Well, given your reputation for flirting…"

"Watch it, missy," said Harpy with a leer. "In any case, you better make a move on him soon. While it might not be me, somepony will ask him. It had better be you.”

“Do you remember last week during our coffee date, Mom? When we talked about boundaries?” Raven glowered at her mother, making it very clear that she didn’t like where things were headed. “Privacy and trusting me to live my own life and all that?”

“I just want—”

“What’s best for me. I know. And I appreciate that, but I’m a grown mare. You don’t get to decide what’s best for me anymore. This is my life, Mom. I’ll decide how it turns out,” said Raven firmly. Harpy pursed her lips for a moment before letting out a sigh and giving an almost exhausted nod. She raised her hooves in defeat, busying herself with her water once again.

“I’m sorry…” said Harpy quietly.

“It’s okay. I get it.” It got quiet for a bit, with neither mare knowing precisely what to say. Raven looked towards where Garrus had gone, and when she confirmed that he was still gone, she turned back to her mother. “So… I got your package. Dad’s guitar.”

“Good. That guitar is older than you.”

“It looks brand new. He took better care of the guitar than himself.” Raven chuckled darkly, shaking her head. “I spoke to the princess about it, and she seems to think that you were trying to tell me something.” Harpy didn’t speak, and so Raven pressed the matter. “She says you gave Dad the guitar to let him know that you supported his music. Why give it to me?”

“Does it matter?” asked Harpy.

“You tell me.”

“Raven… Did I ever tell you what happened when Birch and I found out that I was pregnant?” sighed Harpy. Raven shook her head. “He said to me that this is where our life really starts, with you. It wasn’t about us anymore, it was about giving you something we never had. He made me promise that we would leave you something after we were gone. And, in all of his years, after marriage and the guard and all of the traveling, he decided that he had found nothing more valuable or important to him than that guitar. So… I did what he told me to do. I left the most important thing he had found to the most important pony in his life.”

“But… Why? What’s so important about the guitar?” asked Raven. “I don’t get it. It’s just a guitar.”

“That’s what I thought. I was wrong. It’s more than ‘just a guitar’, at least Birch thought it was. Birch was normally right about that sort of thing. He said that the guitar brought him up from his lowest, and reminded him that happiness was an option.” Harpy looked away from Raven, as if to hide something. Raven couldn’t tell if it was to hide tears, or shame, or even anything at all. “Were he still with us, Birch would think it very apropos that I gave that same guitar to you, too."

"Sorry, there was a line."

Before Raven could formulate a response, Garrus had returned from the restroom, and he reclaimed his seat across from the two mares. Raven glanced to her mother, who had managed to remain uncharacteristically quiet. She didn't push Raven about the Gala or her date. Harpy said nothing, just smiled at Raven and her friend. Harpy left the choice up to Raven

"Man, this food sure is taking a while, huh?" remarked Garrus, though Raven suspected that was more to fill the silence than anything. Raven glanced to her mother, who was just smiling innocently, and finally let out a sigh.

"So, as the Royal Advisor, I get an invite to the Gala every year. But I never go," explained Raven. "For a number of reasons, not least of all because I never had anypony to go with. The invite comes with a plus-one, you see. So… Well. Going stag is just about the lamest thing ever, so… would you be interested in accompanying me?" Raven cleared her throat with a cough, looking down at the table in an attempt to hide her blush. "As a friend, mind you."

"Wow, Rave, are you serious?" Garrus grinned from ear to ear, which finally set Raven at ease. "Of course I'd like to go with you! Sounds like a blast!"

"Great, great. Just remember, it's a black-tie affair. No showing up in your sweatpants or anything," said Raven. "Got it, bird brain?"

"I've had a tux saved away just for this kind of occasion."