I felt mad.
No, I felt furious.
That still wasn’t right.
I felt betrayed.
For as long as I remembered Applejack had taken care of me. I don’t even remember my parents.
And now because of her, I couldn’t walk. Ever again.
I prodded the plastic bag in front of me. I still felt my cheeks burning from the explanation Redheart had given me about it.
And now I couldn’t walk. I couldn’t buck trees. I couldn’t even go up or down a flight of stairs.
By Celestia, I was useless.
I vaguely registered that Redheart was still talking to me. I found myself nodding absentmindedly.
Redheart left the room.
I relaxed my neck and stared at the ceiling as my mind wandered.
I’d never be a farmer. I’d be the only Apple in… who knows how many generations to not be a farmer. Even Goldie Delicious was a farmer when she was young.
How would Big Mac and Granny handle it? I know I’d had nightmares where they didn’t accept a non apple-related cutie mark and kicked me out… how would they handle me not even being able to walk? How would they handle me being a… useless…
Cripple.
How would my friends react? Now that they had a… what was the term Rarity used that one time… charity case? Yeah. How would they react to their friend becoming a useless charity case that wouldn’t ever have a cutie mark?
And what about Applejack? Would she…
Well, why should I care?
If Miss Redheart was right, Applejack was the entire reason I was like this…
The entire reason I was a cripple was because of her. Why should I care what she thinks?
“...Sugarcube?”
I didn’t have to look to recognize that voice.
There was no mistaking the trademark southern accent of Applejack.
“You uh…” Applejack cleared her throat. “Y’all alright there?"
I felt my eyes burn as I fought against the tears desperately trying to escape. I grit my teeth as a fire lit in my belly.
"Sugarcube?" Applejack repeated in a smaller voice. "Did you hear me?"
"Yes," I spat, putting as much venom in my voice as I could.
"I'm so glad you're alright," Applejack exhaled audibly.
"Alright?" I whispered icily.
"Ever since y'all got flown to the hospital, neither Big Mac or I have been able to sleep or eat, just worried for yer sake." Applejack began walking toward me.
"Applejack, I-" I started to speak but was instantly cut off.
"An' Granny has just had this empty look. But now that you're good, she'll be so much happier," Applejack continued.
"I'm not-" I tried to interrupt her again, snorting angrily when she cut me off again.
"An' Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo have been so scared for y'all too. They weren't listening to the nurse long enough to have her tell 'em you weren't gonna die, and just cried themselves out for hours." Applejack placed a hoof on my shoulder. "Boy howdy will they be happy to see you awake!"
"Would you lis-" I felt my voice rising, barely able to get a word in edgewise.
"Now what's this hogwash the nurse was talking about with 'foal endangerment'? Our cart was built how the Apple's carts have been built since that there Derby started. Besides, at the speed it was going there-"
"APPLEJACK!" I screamed, swatting her hoof off my shoulder. "SHUT YER LUNA-DAMNED MOUTH FOR ONE SECOND!"
Applejack froze at that. I froze too. I'd never sworn in front of my sister. I fought the urge to cringe, and got ready for a tongue lashing, expecting her to demand I wash my mouth out with soap, or say that she was gonna tan my hide for such language.
To my surprise, I saw her eyes tear up as she sank to her haunches, and her head bow as she waited for me to speak.
I really felt like that should have made me feel guilty, but after all the stress of the last day, I couldn't find myself caring.
I still did feel slightly bad about not caring. But not bad enough to get rid of my anger.
"Nurse Redheart was here when I woke. She tol' me that my seat in the cart was fine. If I had stayed there, I wouldn't be any more scratched up than Sweetie Belle or Scoot." I growled. "But y'all's stupid traditions made the cart do that! I even asked you about it and y'all just ignored what I was sayin', like you were just doin' now!"
I fought my best to stay calm, but found myself starting to shout as the dam burst. I felt tears streaming down my face as I shouted.
"But y'all didn't wanna listen! And now, because of y'all's stupid pride, I'm gonna be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life!"
I picked up the catheter bag in front of me and threw it at Applejack as hard as I could.
"I have to pee in a bag now, I can't even use the stairs, and now I'm gonna be the laughingstock of th' town!"
As a powerful sob wracked my body, I reached over and grabbed dad's stetson off her head, flinging it at her.
"We woulda all been fine if y'all fully grown adults weren't so full o' yerself and took over our school project. Maybe it's good I ain't never gonna be an apple farmer, this way I wouldn't havta grow up and be like YOU!"
I had never seen my sister cry. I had seen her tear up on a couple occasions, but never cry, not until today. In that moment, I saw the dark tear tracks that were mottling my own face mirrored on hers.
And I didn't even feel bad.
"I DON'T WANNA EVER SEE YOU AGAIN! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Applejack let out a quiet sob, then grabbed her stetson and slowly backed for the door.
"Applebloom... I..."
"I HATE YOU!" I felt my throat turn hoarse.
For a couple of moments nopony moved. Nopony even twitched.
Applejack turned with a wet sniffle and quietly left the room, leaving me to my own thoughts.
Good.
I was happier without her.