Session 105.0 Alex Warlorn
"On the bright side," Starlight said, "At least once this is done Our Town will turn on Tiamat in about twenty seconds if things go their natural route."
Future Princess Starlight said, "You did that to yourself. You could have taught the cutie mark removal spell to somepony else, but no, you had to be the big hero to save everypony from their brainwashing butt symbols.
"You could have explained ahead of time how your cutie mark was a necessary evil since you needed your magic to remove their marks.
You could have researched a way that ponies with the equal mark had their talents dispersed among the whole, bringing about TRUE equality!
You could have researched a way to make the Staff of Sameness FOR REAL instead of needing to invent a fake! But no, you didn't TRUST THEM to understand."
"AND I PROVEN RIGHT!"
"If you'd done it in a way that it wasn't so big reveal in one big intense moment it would have been different."
"How would you know that?"
"Remember those timelines we created? Part of my penance is to keep an eye on them. I get to see a lot of time and space and possible timelines. But we were too big on becoming the great savior of ponykind to SEE any other possibilities!"
"Trixie always thought that Cutie Mark Manipulation was your special talent and you COULDN'T teach the spell to anypony else ... but that was never put to the test."
"NOT HELPING!" Starlight hissed. Then asked her future self, "PLEASE tell me Trixie doesn't become an Alicorn."
"HEY!"
"Don't worry, she becomes outright HUMBLE by Alicorns standards..."
"In other words her ego doesn't shrink one bit?"
"HEY!" Princess Twilight snapped. "And another example of Mark Magic was Starswirl's unfinished spell... which... might explain how easily Starlight was able to master and improve upon it."
Starlight said, "I think it's pretty obvious by now that improving on existing spells is what I do, just ask Sunburst and his shattered self-esteem."
Sunburst said, "Hey! ... Sorry, sorry! Didn't mean to bother anypony..."
Twilight shouted, "WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING IN MY CASTLE?!"
Starlight said hlooking out the window, seeing Big Mac, Cheerilee, Applejack, and the other former ponies dancing wildly at mighty Tiamat's feet, spewing flames into the air and crying out her praise, the teenage dragons oblivious to all other things in comparison to her draconic goddess' magnificence.
"... Hoping that the scheme invented by a child who somehow stumbled into godhood is enough to sway our friends and family away from the grasp from a primal goddess older than time by showing 'ponies and dragons, just having fun.' And whatever Spike and Mina are up to, and whatever move Ember is willing to play, keep it all from going insane... So which ponies are going to play Ogres and Oubliettes with our transformed friends and family?"
"... At least Cadence is keeping Shiny from being further corrupted by Tiamat... right?" Twilight asked worried she was tempting fate.
Session 105.1 Mtangalion and Alex Warlorn
Tiamat took an ominous stance, one mighty forepaw raised. Before Princess Twilight's confusion could turn to alarm and panic, Tiamat thrust a single claw into the ground and dragged it through earth and stone, digging a trench with such violence that lava began to seep into it.
"SEIZE THIS MOMENT!" boomed the Dragon Mother to her delighted young dragons. "ROAR AND STAMP AND FLAME TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT! REVEL IN ALL THAT IT MEANS TO BE DRAGON!" Tiamat lifted her heads and breathed three tremendous blasts into the air: fire, lightning, and cold. Then her central head leaned in, looming over Prince Button Mash. "NOW DO YOU BEGIN TO SEE, LITTLE WHELP? YOU'RE A THOUSAND YEARS TOO SOON TO CHALLENGE ME. BY YOUR FOLLY, I STAND TO GAIN EVEN MORE!"
Equestria's newest prince had not been idle, nor cowering in fear. Button was putting the finishing touches on a sprawling open air pavilion, surrounding a replica of the wooden table in Twilight's Castle where she and her friends had spent many an evening playing O&O.
"Do you really think you can scare me into giving up before I've made a single move?" The grinning colt lit his horn and began conjuring again, making sure the table was well-supplied with drinks and snacks, with rulebooks and notepads and pencils, and even a small mountain of golden coins and jewels for a centerpiece. "What kind of game would that be?"
Diamond Tiara was craning her neck to glare at the fluttering wings on her scaly back, fuming in frustration.
"Come on..." She flapped harder, actually starting to lift off the ground. "I'm doing it! Yes! I'm... no no no!" The new whelp overbalanced and flipped end over end, plunging into the lava pool with a huge splash.
"Bwahaha!" Scootaloo pointed and laughed in midair, perfectly in control. "You call that flying? Looks like you could use a few pointers!"
Diamond wiped lava out of her crimson and gold glowing eyes and grinned slyly. "From the pegasus who never flew a day in her life? As if!" She started flinging clawfuls of lava at Scootaloo.
"Too slow!" taunted Scootaloo, weaving left and right. "Missed me again!" A glob of lava got her right in the face. "Ack, no fair!" She belly flopped into the lava too, and pretty soon both whelps were laughing together, mud-wrestling with molten rock.
Shining Armor grinned, soaking his toes in the pool with a look of utter bliss. "This is the best! No bickering nobles, no waking up at dawn, no bucking paperwork! Wait till I tell Cady about..."
That train of thought was like a dash of cold water to the face. "Cadence..." The young dragon sat up, the crimson and gold gleam fading from his eyes. How many days had it been since he'd even thought of Cadence... or Flurry, his own daughter? Hadn't he done all of this in the first place for them... to live a long life beside his Alicorn wife and daughter? He lifted a clawful of lava, watching the molten rock spill from his hand, streaming between his finger claws. "Suddenly, this all feels so... wrong..."
Tiamat's farthest left head turned towards her dragon Shining Armor had become, sensing one of her dragons feeling a moment of 'confusion' but that was easily-
Tiamat's farthest left head cringed as she'd been physically struck, normally nothing, but the Queen Mother of Dragons had FELT IT... except it wasn't physical. It was like a more focused and intense version of the headache she'd suffered when crystal ponies had upgraded species in honor of their hero... and in her mind's eyes, she saw Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, glaring daggers at her.
'Claws off my husband,' came Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's telepathic voice as if she was right there in TIamat's face. 'No matter how much of the rest of him you claim, his heart was conjoined with mine before you even knew he existed old dragoness!'
Queen Tiamat didn't let her reaction be outwardly seen least she show weakness. But a thought did cross her five brains:
She could put effort into her royal presence, burn away everything in her new precious treasures of what they'd been, everything of who they'd been, leave nothing but perfect draconic blank slates... Queen Chrysalis would have turned green with envy at such a level of raw telepathic might, and would have used it to 'cure' every changeling who'd betrayed their mother. There was just one problem, Tiamat wasn't Chrysalis.
Once upon a time, before ponies had invented the written word, before Prince Tirek existed... Tiamat had found a emerald the size of her heads, too beautiful for consuming... the most dazzling jewel she'd ever seen... she'd have none steal it... she grasped in her claws... and the force of her strength shattered it.
What Tiamat didn't realize, was through their momentary telepathic connection, Princess Amore Cadenza saw the memory as well.
Session 105.2 Mtangalion
While Prince Button was setting the stage, Starlight Glimmer had been getting increasingly annoyed with the *other* Starlight Glimmer. Her future Alicorn self wasn't even being subtle or circumspect anymore... she stood right in the open, right by her side no less, watching the proceedings with the sort of alert disinterest that ponies wore while waiting in line at the vegetable market.
"Would you stop it?!" Starlight finally blurted out.
Future Starlight arched a brow. "Stop what?"
Starlight waved a hoof in frustration. "Stop being so... smugly prescient about everything!"
"Ahh." Future Starlight nodded. "I knew you were going to say that."
Starlight stamped a hoof. "No you didn't! You're just being annoying!"
"It's unavoidable," said Future Starlight serenely. "I must, because I did."
Starlight scowled and took a deep breath... and simultaneously, so did her twin.
"I bet you didn't know I was going to say... cucumber kumquats!" shouted both mares in unison. "Three point one four one five nine! Stop that! Cut it out! No, you cut it out! I'm telling moooom!!"
Future Starlight watched calmly while her younger self gasped for air. "One day, you'll look back on this and laugh. Oh wait, I'm doing that now. Hah, hah."
Starlight groaned and flopped to the grass. "I knew it. You're here to punish me for a lifetime of being totally evil, aren't you? Even if Twilight was too soft to actually punish me, it was bound to catch up to me sooner or later!"
And that's when her future self tossed aside the mask of divine patience and grabbed hold of her, taking her completely by surprise. "Stop saying that about yourself!" she spoke earnestly. "Don't ever say that. Do totally evil ponies get to become Alicorns?"
Starlight blinked. "Um... No?"
Future Starlight smiled, and gave her younger self a warm hug.
"Oh!" exclaimed Princess Twilight. "You made physical contact without tearing a hole in the space/time continuum!" Both Starlights turned to glare at her. "What? That's a good thing."
Session 105.3 Mtangalion
Prince Button Mash trotted around the game table once more, then nodded, satisfied. "Okay! Today's adventure is gonna be..."
Tiamat put her foot down, causing a dull boom which made ponies and dragons and *buildings* sway. "NO."
Button hesitated, his confidence faltering. "But..."
"YOU CHALLENGED ME, THEREFORE I MAY CHOOSE THE GAME. THAT IS HOW PONIES DO THINGS, YES?" Without waiting for a response, Tiamat smugly continued, "AN 'O&O' GAME IS ACCEPTABLE, BUT I SAY THAT IT SHALL BE A CONTEST OF DRAGONS VERSUS DRAGONS! DRAGONS WHO SUPPORT THE EXPANSION OF MY HOARD, AND DRAGONS WHO STAND OPPOSED."
Starlight Glimmer facehoofed. "Well, that's just great," she hissed. "I hope you're good at improvising!"
Button Mash gulped. "Naturally! An Oubliette Master always thinks on his hooves!"
"GOOD," purred Tiamat. "MY DRAGON LORD SHALL JOIN MY TEAM, OF COURSE." She gritted her teeth slightly. "AND... HER CONSORT TO BE." Her central head loomed menacingly over the stage. "DO NOT EMBARRASS US."
For a moment, Garble looked like he might faint from sheer terror. Instead, he leapt atop the table, striking a defiant pose and grooving to a Dragon Rap beat! "We got this, Queen! It'll be the best show you've seen! Our victory will sting! And our foes will be fleeing! YEAH!"
Dragon Lord Ember blushed hard, seeming not to know whether to hug him or strangle him. Many young dragons in the crowd roared, spitting flames in the air and pumping their fists. Many more dragons and ponies shot curious looks at Pinkie Pie. Pinkie stopped tapping a hoof to the beat from her boombox and blinked back at them innocently. "What?"
"Well, I'm standing with Bahamut, and against you!" declared Mina. She stepped forward, putting an arm around Spike's shoulders. "And I'm sure that Spike will also..."
"AH, AH, AH!" Tiamat waggled a claw at them. "HEATHSPIKE BEARS A LEGENDARY *NAME*. THROUGHOUT THE AGES, HIS ANCESTORS HAVE STOOD BETWEEN MY KING AND I, TIPPING THE BALANCE BETWEEN ORDER AND CHAOS. I TRUST NODRAGON ELSE TO BE THE OUBLIETTE MASTER OF THIS LITTLE CONTEST."
While Spike blinked, dismayed, the Dragon Queen chuckled like an avalanche of grinding boulders. "SURELY, THIS IS NO HARDSHIP. MANY DRAGONS LIVE IN THAT PATHETIC REBEL LAIR KNOWN AS DRAGON TOWN. SOME OF THEM CAN JOIN YOU AND... BUT WHAT IS THIS? *NONE* OF THEM DARED TO FOLLOW YOU HERE?" Five heads nodded as one. "IT SEEMS YOU STAND ALONE!"
"She's not alone!" shouted a voice. Many heads turned, even two of Queen Tiamat's, to see a young blue and gray-scaled dragon swoop over the crowd, then glide to a landing by Mina's side. Shining Quartz... no, Shining *Armor* thumped a clawed fist against his chest. "I'm still not sure exactly what my future's going to be, but if I'm going to be any kind of dragon at all, then I want to be a noble dragon, like Spike!"
Session 105.4 Mtangalion
In the skies over Ponyville, the five faces of Tiamat scowled, growling like a spring thunderstorm. "ONE OF THE NEW GEMS," she muttered to herself. "I WAS BOUND TO LET SLIP A FEW. AN ACCEPTABLE LOSS."
A commotion on the ground drew her attention. "Whoa, whoa there!" roared Applejack, pushing and shoving her way to the front of the dragon crowd. The bronze dragoness glared at Garble and Ember, claws on hips. "Do either of y'all even know how to play O&O?"
Garble rolled his eyes. "Like, duh. I play World of Horsecraft all the time! That's the same thing, right?"
Dragon Lord Ember shrugged. "I watched him play. It can't be that hard."
Applejack sighed. "Figured as much." She climbed into the next empty chair by Ember's side. "Don't you worry none. Now that Ah'm on yer team, Ah can walk ya through it!"
Pinkie Pie gasped, and Twilight and Fluttershy looked dismayed. "Applejack, darling!" protested Rarity. "Do you really intend to play against us? We're your friends."
That red and gold gleam seemed to sizzle in Applejack's eyes. "Heh, friends. Ya know what Ah see? A bunch of scared and jealous little ponies who still won't admit the truth, which is that dragons are just plum better!"
"Here, here!" boomed Big Mac.
"What they said," rasped Rainbow Dash smugly.
"You know it!" shouted Scootaloo, hovering beside Dash. She fistbumped with her idol.
"Well, I write my own O&O modules!" boasted Shining Armor, trying to win some momentum back for Team Bahamut. "Mina, how much do you know about O&O?"
Mina smirked. "I run a comic book shop. What do you think?"
"I like her already," said Shining Armor, grinning. "Now who else can join our team?"
There was a nervous clatter of hooves from the thin crowd of ponies brave enough to gather this close, and Apple Bloom stepped towards the table. "Miss Mina? You say you're going against Tiamat. If Ah join you... is there some way you can keep Tiamat out of mah head?"
Big Mac stared in sheer disbelief. "WHAT?!"
Granny Smith stamped a foot... being one of the older new dragons, she loomed over the crowd. "Apple Bloom, child, what are ya thinking?!"
"You get your tail back to the house," snapped Applejack. "We'll talk about this later."
"N-no!" shouted Apple Bloom, standing her ground. "Frankly? Ah'm scared half to death that Tiamat will make me start actin' like a big mean ol' bully, just like... Like the rest of mah family! And Ah hate how this horseapples already has Scootaloo on one side and Sweetie on the other. There ain't any good choices, but... Ah can't just do nothing'!"
In the stunned silence, Mina spoke up. "Spike? If you have to be neutral anyway, then... may I have the Tidescale Staff back? Please? I want to try something."
Spike smiled warmly. "Of course! You know I was only keeping it warm for you, right?" He held out the staff, Mina closed her claws around it... and for the second time in his short life, Spike willingly let an ancient artifact of the Ryujin leave his grasp. Somehow, he seemed no less for it.
"Sheesh, can you believe this guy?" muttered Garble under his breath. "I mean, some of us would like to hold an all-powerful artifact just freakin' once, you know?"
For her part, Mina hefted the Tidescale Staff, her expression puzzled, then mildly shocked. Then the relic did something that neither Spike nor Mina had yet seen... power seemed to surge forth, in a way that made every dragon for a hundred yards around sit up and take notice. The glow pouring off the staff spread to Mina herself, giving her scales a smooth, metallic sheen. "Dragon Sage?" she whispered. "Me?! I don't know... but I'll do my best!"
"Whoa," breathed Shiny, poking at her shoulder with a claw. The glow immediately spread to him as well, turning his gray scales to gleaming silver. "Yikes! Check this out." His eyes grew unfocused. "Oh! Um... heh, I guess I kinda did use Bahamut as a generic boss monster in some of my adventure modules. It won't happen again, just please don't sue me!"
Apple Bloom did a little prance of joy before rushing to embrace them both, and then she finally let go after days and days of holding the Apple Family "curse" back, smoothly transforming into a shining gold and ruby-scaled little dragoness. She shot into the air, whooping and hollering as she spun and flew in several loops before dropping into her chair at the game table. "Ah hope ya brought yer A game... sis! Ah won't hold back."
"ANOTHER MINOR LOSS," grumbled Tiamat, sounding less confident than before. "THIS CHANGES NOTHING."
One more young dragoness landed on the stage. Smolder sighed, rolling her eyes. "This is so lame... but enough's enough. Get me a chair and I'll play too."
Dragon Lord Ember stopped teasing Garble by holding the Bloodstone Scepter just out of his reach. "Great! You've been at this school, so I know you'll be good at this game stuff."
"Not you," snapped Smolder, moving to stand between Mina and Shining. "I'm joining them."
Tiamat's eyes grew wide. "WHAT? HOW DARE YOU? NO..." The very ground began to shake as the Dragon Mother howled, driving her talons right into Ponyville's bedrock. "NOOO!!!"
Session 105.5 Mtangalion
Smolder gulped, trying to shake off her awe at Tiamat's anger. "Well, come on!" she urged Mina. "Use that staff thingy and zap me already!"
Smolder reached for the Tidescale Staff, but it sparked like a lightning rod, making her yelp and pull away. Not that she'd suddenly turned into a wimp or anything dumb like that. It actually hurt! It took a lot to make dragons feel pain.
Mina blinked, seeing how Smolder seemed to repel the magic instead of absorbing it like Shining and Apple Bloom had. "Okay... I'm kinda new here, but I don't think you really want this."
"Of course I do!" protested Smolder. "I said I did, didn't I? You're just doing it right!"
"ENOUGH," spoke Tiamat, just one word, like a thunderclap.
In the space between one heartbeat and the next, everything went black, plunging Smolder into a deep darkness lit only by five pairs of blazing red and gold eyes.
DRAGON'S WILL
SHALL NOT BE BOUND
IN DRAGON GAZE
TRUTH IS FOUND
The burning eyes closed, and an entire landscape flew out of the dark, hurtling toward her! "Whoa, whoa!" cried Smolder, trying to spread her wings and brace for some kind of impact, but instead she touched down gently, landing in an intensely volcanic landscape, dark ash beneath her feet and churning red clouds overhead.
The young dragoness slowly turned in a circle, gaping at everything. What was this place? Were those... roads made of obsidian? And perfectly sized dragon fortresses, carved from the craggy mountain stones? She sighed blissfully, curling her toes... they'd never felt so toasty warm! "Is this that place those ponies were talking about?" she wondered aloud. "Where it's always scorching hot and the fires never go out?"
"Better," purred a voice, familiar and yet not. The air warped like a heat mirage, and a dragoness stamped towards her on two legs... heavy and powerful, about as large as adult dragons grew before they took to walking on all fours and calling themselves elders.
Smolder's eyes bulged. "No way..." The approaching figure *was* familiar, but impossible too! Red-scaled body with mighty wings, a whiplike tail with a wyvern stinger, *five* different colored heads on sinuous necks. "T-T-Tiamat? Whoa, is that an avatar?! I thought..."
Tiamat... yes, it could be none other... turned her central head's nose up haughtily. "Do not imagine that I have made myself small and weak, daughter! I will never do that." Drawing close, Tiamat reached down and lifted Smolder in her arms, carefully scritching her head scales and nuzzling with her outer heads.
For a moment, Smolder resented this. She *was* kinda mad at Tiamat just now, and she certainly wasn't some baby dragon who needed hugs! Somehow, though, Tiamat's motherly affection just seemed so possessive, so *genuine*, she couldn't help but relax into it.
"It is a necessary illusion," Tiamat continued. "Your mortal eyes could not otherwise bear the sight of me in my full glory, here in the ryujin realm."
Smolder smirked. "I dunno... You're a lot more... you know, approachable like this. Maybe if you showed this to more creatures, they'd understand..."
Tiamat stamped a foot. "I don't want to be more approachable! I am Tiamat, mightiest of goddesses, for the mightiest of all creature-kinds!" She arched a brow. "What is that look on your face, child? Do not mock me!"
"No, I'm not!" said Smolder quickly. "It's just... wait, did you say 'ryujin realm?'" Her expression turned sour. "I'd better not be dead! I still have lots of stuff to do."
"Indeed, you do." Tiamat gave her one more soothing scritch before setting her down again. "No corruptive influence or pony magic can reach this place, so now you can speak freely of the plot against me!"
Smolder was starting to feel like she'd walked into one of Headmare Twilight's infamous pop quizzes, completely unprepared. "Plot? What do you mean? What plot?"
Tiamat scowled. "Surely, you must have perceived it!" Life-sized figures began to form from the ash clouds around her, each taking shape as she named it. "Nightmare Moon. Discord. Sombra. The Storm King. Chrysalis. Each of them was a mighty ruler. Each of them was cast down by ponies, and the *Harmony* they serve. Each one laid low, their lands and followers taken!"
Tiamat clenched a fist, grinding her scales so fiercely that the ash on her claws caught fire. "The fall of Queen Chrysalis was the most galling of all. Before her very eyes, her children were hideously transformed and turned against her! My dragons and I will NOT suffer such a fate. I would sooner break the world." The ash figures flew apart, scattered on the winds. "That is why I had to strike first!"
Smolder cringed, shaking her head. "But... really, there wasn't any plot! At least, not that I could..."
"Smolder," spoke Tiamat, looking her right in the eyes. "You are a treasure among treasures. You've lived among the servants of Harmony, but you've never been seduced, never forgotten your pride as a dragon! You even joined claws with them and helped save this world from that deranged magic-thieving child.
"What's more, you come from a mighty brood... my power and favor are your birthright! So why..." There was a flicker of anguish in Tiamat's eyes. "Why would you even think of turning against *me*? Speak the truth, Smolder, and you shall not be punished. What spell, what scheme, what villain is driving you away!?"
Smolder looked down, feeling hot tears on her cheek scales... but her anger welled up again too, and this time she couldn't keep it in. "You are."
Tiamat froze. "What? ... What are you saying?" She glared at Smolder, but the young dragoness didn't back down, not an inch! "Why would you say that?!"
Smolder clenched her fists. "Because somedragon has to! Will you please actually *look* and *see* what you're doing by changing so many ponies?" she pleaded. "How afraid you're making everycreature? You're driving friends apart, family apart. Even my own friends asked me if I was gonna dump them, or force all of them to become dragons too!" She chuckled bitterly. "The funny thing is, they probably would all become dragons just on my say so, if I said it was the only way. They trust me that much..." Smolder narrowed her eyes at Tiamat. "But maybe they shouldn't."
Tiamat snorted, shaking several of her heads. "You've grown too attached to those other creatures. I'm winning a great victory for dragonkind, expanding my hoard and giving many of the ponies a mighty gift in the process... the gift of being a dragon! You'll understand, in time..." She trailed off, then spun about, fuming at the portal that had just opened, hanging suspended in the superheated air. "What now? Who *dares?*"
The portal wasn't empty, Smolder saw at once. A whole group of creatures were revealed, right on the threshold but not stepping through. Celestia and Luna stood in the forefront, each wearing ancient battle armor, glowing with potent runes. Queen Novo stood just behind them. A towering yak held their left flank, carrying some kind of mobile siege tower on his back... did the yaks have a god too? And on the right was a rugged, muscular lion-eagle griffon in golden armor. One of Gallus' stories suddenly came to mind. Could that really be Boreas!?
Boreas squinted blearily at them, yawning into his talons. "Ugh... Can we settle this quick? I'm still groggy from my nap."
Celestia smiled warmly at him, then turned towards them, looking more deadly serious than Smolder had ever seen her. "Dragon Mother Tiamat. You are about to cross a very dangerous line."
"We shall not stand idly by," said Luna frostily, "if thou continue to influence and lay claim to our ponies!"
Smolder was starting to think that she'd gotten in the middle of something she really, really shouldn't be in the middle of. As if sensing this, Tiamat scooped Smolder up and held her more closely, more securely in her arms. "You threaten me with war? HAH! I am Tiamat, mighty since this world was young! I can take you all on, and I can win!"
"At what cost?" asked Queen Novo.
The yak god snorted. "Fight too hard, and you break things you fighting for." He shook his shaggy head grimly. "No perfect victories here."
Boreas pawed at the ground, talons clenched. "So keep your greedy claws to yourself! Never thought I'd be the one saying that..."
Tiamat chuckled, then threw back her heads and roared with laughter, a chorus all by herself. "What is this? You talk as if I did something wrong. As if I was some kind of THIEF!" She slammed her tail against the ground. "Every creature who became a dragon made a choice! Some drank a potion of their own free will. Others accepted me in their hearts! They are mine! My own precious treasures!"
Another heat shimmer warped the air, bringing a two-legged avatar of Bahamut to the ryujin realm... not standing against Tiamat, but not exactly by her side, either. "Are they, though?" he calmly spoke. "They're like hatchlings with no wisdom or control, gorging themselves on gems until their bellies hurt. If they could clearly see everything they've done since they changed... would they still choose you now?"
Tiamat fumed, looking more and more furious. "They just have to learn properly, that's all! You won't force me to give up what is mine! You don't tell me what to do!" she bellowed. "You won't take my hatchlings!" Those last words were a defiant shriek, almost.
'Crap crap crap!' thought Smolder. It was all going wrong. Tiamat would tell them where to shove it, there'd be a huge war, everything was going to suck, unless...
Smolder gulped, then shouted, "Tiamat! Dragon Mother, wait, please listen!" One of Tiamat's heads shot her a look so venomous, she was sure she'd finally gone too far, that she was gonna get steamed and skinned for mouthing off to a goddess... but it was way too late to stop now!
"Look, I get it!" Smolder blurted out. "Just thinking that maybe you might have messed up a tiny little bit... It's totally lame and no dragon likes to do it, like ever! And all these puffed-up jerks, I mean, they came to your den without asking and tried to tell you what to do... who needs that?" She took a deep breath. "But if you won't make peace because of them... do it for us. For me, and my big dumb brother and Ember and all of your *loyal* dragons. This, all of this, it's not worth it!" She clasped her claws. "Please!"
Tiamat blinked slowly, still scowling. She looked at her, and then at the other gods for a long while. Finally, she exhaled. "Fine. Whatever!"
Smolder gasped, sitting up and coughing. "What?! Huh?" She was back at the game pavilion in Ponyville. Apparently, she'd fainted, and now everydragon was arguing about it.
Garble shook a fist. "I swear, if you hurt my little sis..."
"I didn't do anything!" protested Mina. "Look, see? She's waking up."
"No thanks to you!"
"SILENCE!" When Tiamat demanded silence, she got it, immediate and total. "I... HAVE ERRED."
The silence held for another few breaths, before everycreature started talking at once. Some dragons expressed wild disbelief. Many insisted that Tiamat hadn't, didn't, could do nothing wrong. Most of the ponies reacted with even more stunned silence.
"Erred?" echoed Princess Twilight. "What does that mean?!"
Princess Cadence strode through the crowd, smiling as she approached. "Believe it or not, Twily... I think we just won. Don't say that too loudly, though."
Some impulse made Shining Armor take off and fly across the crowd to hug his wife tightly, grinning up a storm. Cadence hugged her husband right back, kissing his scaly muzzle.
"DO NOT MAKE LIGHT OF THIS, OR MYSELF!" boomed the Dragon Queen. "I AM STILL TIAMAT, MIGHTIEST OF THE MIGHTY, AND YOU SHALL MOCK ME AT YOUR PERIL! HOWEVER... I HAVE TAKEN THAT WHICH I OUGHT NOT TO HAVE TAKEN. THEREFORE, RESTITUTION SHALL BE MADE."
Tiamat leaned back on her haunches and cupped her massive forepaws together. Suddenly the red and gold sparks flew out of the eyes of every single transformed dragon, zipping towards her. She gathered the sparks to her chest, then closed her fists, extinguishing them. "FOR A TIME, ALL BONDS ARE SET ASIDE. EACH OF YOU, WEIGH YOUR OWN HEARTS AND PLEDGE YOURSELF ONCE AGAIN TO ME... OR TO MY HUSBAND AND KING BAHAMUT... OR, SEEK THE PONY PRINCESSES. I WILL PERMIT THEM TO TRANSFORM YOU."
With that said, Tiamat backed away from the stage, then laid her titanic form down to watch and wait.
Session 105.6 Mtangalion
In the wake of Tiamat's pronouncement, most of the new dragons were left standing stock-still, like creatures who'd just been in a train crash, slowly discovering that they were in fact unharmed and could maybe think about un-bracing themselves.
Applejack reached up with shaking claws and patted her own cheeks, and then on top of her head. "Do you know... Ah have no earthly idea where mah hat is just now?" She scratched her head fins sheepishly. "Been a long time since Ah was that drunk..."
Apple Bloom scrambled over the table to reach her, flapping her wings for a boost. "Never mind the hat! Are... are ya okay? Do ya remember what happened?"
Applejack winced. "Ah remember all of it, and Ah kinda wish Ah didn't..." She held Bloom and hoisted her up, hugging tight. "Apple Bloom, Ah am so, so sorry for those things we said!"
Big Mac cleared his throat, looking away uncomfortably. "Ah can't believe Ah wrote mah own sister off, on account of she was acting like 'a weakling pony lover.'" He hugged both of his sisters, grinning with fangs gleaming. "Maybe that's how they do things in the Dragon Lands, but it ain't the Apple way!"
Granny Smith, being older and a lot bigger, hugged all of her dragon kin all at once. "Ah think we all learned a thing or two or three."
Dragon Lord Ember felt like somecreature had punched her in the gut. The Bloodstone Scepter slipped through her suddenly numb claws, clattering onto the game table.
"Hey, you don't look so hot," said Garble, peering at her. His brows shot up. "Whoa! Are you shrinking?"
Ember blinked, realizing what was wrong. "Not if I can help it!" she snapped, grabbing the Scepter and rushing towards Tiamat. Fume and Klump were in her way, but Ember didn't care, she shoved right past them and rested her palm on a single one of Tiamat's tremendous toe claws. "Dragon Mother! I'm yours!"
"YOU ARE MINE!" roared Tiamat, speaking directly into the minds of her children. At once, Ember straightened up, her muscles surging with strength once again. "MY DRAGON LORD..." Crimson light flared from the Bloodstone Scepter, making Klump, Fizzle, and Fume fall reverently to their knees.
Ember blinked, realizing that Garble was also right behind her. "What?" she teased. "You're not even a little tempted to go to Bahamut?"
Garble snorted. "Nuh uh, you're not getting rid of me that easy!" Fizzle gawked, and Fume and Klump started sniggering. "Ugh, shut it, you guys! I'm not doing this for Ember!" He rolled his eyes. "I mean, sure, I might be used to hanging around those ponies and Spike, but he can keep that noble dragon junk! Power, treasure, and being as big as a freakin' castle someday! That's what I want!" Garble fistbumped Tiamat's claw. "So sign me up already!"
"Sure, you're in," purred Ember. Then she seized Garble and effortlessly put the struggling drake in a headlock. "If I need any creatures hugged," she whispered in his ear, "you'll be the first dragon I call."
Garble watched as Ember sauntered away. "Either this is love, or I'm totally slagged."
Smolder showed up from somewhere to give him a grin and a big claws up. "Probably both!"
Garble twitched. "Yeah, thanks so much for that, sis..."
Session 105.7 Ardashir
As a game of Dragons and Ponies played out in Ponyville, with surprising results for all involved, elsewhere other creatures were getting surprises of their own.
"Well, why NOT attack them now?" Tirek grunted as he followed Grogar down a hallway leading to the main chamber of the lair. His hooves pounded the floor, echoing off the walls as he spoke. "They're so focused on that stupid dragon game it should be easy to catch them off guard! And all the magic we saw..." Tirek licked his lips at the thought of consuming Tiamat and Bahamut's magic. "We'd be able to attack Canterlot openly after that -- Ow!"
He rubbed his aching head and returned Grogar's glare with one of his own.
"Because!" The old goat sorcerer said. "Tiamat and Bahamut have none of the weak restraint Celestia and Luna would display if we attacked them. They'd simply attack with everything they have -- including those dragons. Or have you forgotten that Tiamat sees all dragonkind as her hoard?" Grogar sneered as Tirek folded his arms over his chest with a growl. "Ignorant savage! I intend keeping on the peaceful side of the other races as we conquer Equestria. They'll ignore their pony 'friends' as long as we make no obvious attacks on them. But afterwards?" He turned away with a chuckle, his eyes glowing in the dark. "We'll conquer them, too."
"You should listen to Mister Grogar, Tirek," Cozy Glow chirped as she flapped along behind, holding on to a copy of 'Diplomacy'. She delighted in the cutthroat games of it she could play with Ira and Imago. They were better players than any of her old friends at Twilight's dumb school. "Besides, dragons and griffons and those other dumb races are a lot weaker than ponies. Dumber too." She flew up by Tirek's face, her feathers brushing his cheeks -- he flinched away in disgust, which was why she did it. "I'd never be caught off guard the way they'll be --"
A brilliant spell blast flew from the main chamber. Cozy ducked with a shriek as the blast hit her game, reducing the box to ashes. Tirek dodged aside. Grogar just frowned.
"Chrysalis, what have you seen on that human computer now?"
"Die die die!" Chrysalis blasted at Rabia. The Umbrum mare dodged the blasts and laughed. Even Tirek winced at the sound of her laughter, like rusty nails dragged down a slate. "Those humans -- that stupid 'World of Horsecraft' -- after we enslave Equestria and I destroy that traitor Thorax I'll enslave them next for this insult!"
She froze as Grogar seized her with his magic.
"What 'insult', you fool?" Grogar turned to the stolen computer as Chrysalis pointed at the screen, too furious to even speak. Tirek and Cozy joined him as he looked.
It showed a bipedal and, ahem, voluptuous Chrysalis embracing an equally bipedal stallion, with both surrounded by dozens of Changeling nymphs. Everyone gazed at each other adoringly.
"Not a fan of this sickening mush?" Grogar laughed as he released Chrysalis. "I thought you delighted in being the target of the lust of foolish males."
"It's not that, Chrysalis snarled and aimed a magic blast at the computer. Only Grogar's eyebrow cocked in warning made her desist. "It's them showing me as some loving parent or mate. Giving, sharing, sacrificing for others, UGH!" She shuddered. "And the name they use for the art -- why would I even wear leather pants, anyway?"
Session 105.8 Mtangalion
At some point, an avatar of Bahamut had arrived, standing regally in the game pavilion on the far side of the table from Queen Tiamat. Mina approached him now, bowing down with the Tidescale Staff in her claws.
"King Bahamut," she began, a bit nervous and unsure at first. "I was taught to honor you because, well... that's what my father did, and my grandfather, and lots and lots of dragons before them." Mina lifted the staff, presenting it to him. "Now, though... I want to keep this, to secure what we've built in Dragon Town! And to teach every dragon who wants to learn what being a noble dragon is all about!"
Bahamut smiled warmly. "If you would teach... then here are your students." He gestured grandly, and a portal opened, revealing all of Dragon Town beyond. "Go to them with my blessing, Dragon Sage."
Mina squealed, doing a little midair dance. "Thank you! I... I'll do my best!"
Spike chuckled, watching. "Wow, a whole city? And I thought setting up the Friendship Gaming Academy was a lot of work!"
Mina grinned and surprised Spike by hugging the stuffing out of him. "Thank you too, for everything! Come visit soon, okay?" She gave him a peck on the cheek, then darted through the portal, which swiftly closed behind her.
There was a soft clopping of hooves, and a delicate throat clearing. "My word," said Rarity Belle. "You certainly have matured in these past few weeks... Spike." She stepped closer, inspecting his new taller form with obvious appreciation. "And so suddenly, too!"
"Yeah, tell me about it." Spike got a sudden sly grin. "I can't wait to write Gabby a letter and tell her the whole story!"
Rarity blinked, lashes fluttering. "Gabby?" She frowned. "Do you by chance mean Miss Gabriella, that griffon girl who had some business with Sweetie and the other Crusaders?"
Spike beamed. "Yeah! Did I mention that we've been pen-pals for a while now?"
"Really, darling," mused Rarity, but she was already getting a crafty look of her own.
Spike started towards her, then paused, remembering Bahamut nearby. "Hey! Um... am I supposed to pledge to one of you guys? Or both?"
Bahamut arched a brow. "An excellent question! In times past, the Heathspike has been blessed by both Tiamat and myself, swearing himself to neither. You may do the same, young one."
"UNLESS," said the voice of Tiamat in Spike's head, "YOU WISH TO CHANGE THAT. CHOOSE A SIDE, TIP THE BALANCE..." There was eager anticipation in Tiamat's words, naked greed, even... she might literally promise him the world. Even Bahamut seemed to lean forward, hanging on Spike's every word.
Spike gulped. "Actually... I'm good! Yeah, let's keep things just the way they are!"
Prince Button Mash watched the milling crowd, all the heartfelt apologies and creatures lining up to be transformed, and then he looked back at his empty game table with increasing frustration. "We're not done here until SOMEBODY plays my O&O campaign!"
Session 105.9 Mtangalion
In the courtyard of the Palace of Canterlot, Prince Blueblood was pacing in front of a crowd of sheepish and chagrined young dragons. "I should also point out that Canterlot fire codes are very strict. There are substantial fines for operating a lava bath within the city, without expensive safety precautions and yearly inspection!"
Jet Set turned to glare at Upper Crust, who chuckled nervously, twisting her tail in her claws.
Blueblood cleared his throat loudly. "Furthermore, gentledrakes and gentledrakainas, as dragons of Tiamat, you will naturally be subject to the absolute authority of Dragon Lord Ember. It wouldn't surprise me if Lord Ember commanded each of you to spend ten... nay, twenty, perhaps even thirty years living exclusively in the Dragon Lands, learning how to be a proper dragon and not embarrassing Queen Tiamat any further!"
"Thirty years!?" shrieked Countess Silver Filigree.
"A small portion of a dragon's lifespan," Blueblood was quick to point out. "Of course, being away from the capitol for such an extended period, and subject to a foreign power... I'm not entirely certain whether you would retain your titles of nobility. I suppose that's a question for the lawyers, though."
Most of the young dragons exchanged panicked glances, then turned and stampeded into the palace. "Princess Celestia, please change us back!" cried one of them. "We beg of you!" shouted another. "Forgive us, majesties!"
Duke Brass Tax stayed behind, clenching a clawed fist. "I can't believe you all fell for that! Cowards! Weaklings! Fools!!" He flexed, grinning. "A long life with endless riches and more power than any pony... no one's taking that away from me! It's mine... MINE, I SAY!" His fine garments, already frayed and ripped from being worn over a dragon's scales, burst to shreds as he grew out them, snarling and stamping and roaring!
"Greed growth!" shouted a spotter in one of the castle towers. Half a dozen Royal Guards immediately ponypiled the duke, pelting him with blunt weapons and frost spells until he fell unconscious and shrank back down.
Prince Blueblood tugged his lapels smugly. "It appears my work here is done." He turned to trot away, and bumped into Discord, who had silently appeared floating behind him.
"Oh Bluey, Bluey!" Discord cupped Blueblood's face and pinched his cheeks. "I had such delightfully deviously chaotic plans for Canterlot." Mismatched eyes narrowed. "All scuttled, thanks to you."
Blueblood gave him a weary look. "Oh yes, I'm such a disappointment. You should undo my wolfpony curse and find some other pony to play with."
Discord blinked, setting Blueblood down and drawing back. "But, that's no fun." He grinned suddenly, snapping his fingers. "Instead, why don't I tell those eager female diamond wolves where you live? I could send them a claw-written invitation from you... and some train tickets!" He conjured up exactly those items and waved them just out of the prince's reach before vanishing them up a nonexistent sleeve. "Better stock up that secret meat freezer of yours." He vanished in a puff of sparkles, but his voice continued after he'd gone. "Ta-ta!"
Prince Blueblood smiled through gritted teeth... which had fangs more befitting a thestral than a unicorn pony. "Ah, the burdens of nobility."
Session 105.10 Alex Warlorn (based upon my own bungle in Legends of Grimrock.)
"Now that... MOST OF US are back to normal..." Twilight, once again having traded with Spike behind the OO screen, glared at Rainbow Dash.
"Hey, Scoots can fly as a dragon whelp, so until Bulk Biceps bothers to teach her how to fly with tiny wings like he does, I'm staying like this too... and it helps with my custody claim on Scootaloo."
Rainbow Dash and Applejack had naturally spent hours upon hours apologizing to their dear friends for how they had acted while under Ember's unwittingly command that had opened the doors wide open to Tiamat's spiritual-pressure. And naturally for twisting their Elements of Loyalty and Honesty (they had lost the Elements before, and they'd gotten them back stronger than ever... besides, they still had the Rainbow Power versions of the Elements so it was kinda silly to think they no longer had the Elements).
"There was nothin' Honest about switching around one truth for truth... Spike's honest about bein' a dragon and he never acted like that... beside Spikezilla."
"Gee, thanks," Spike mumbled.
"And ... yeah, conflicting loyalties and everything, been there, done that, nothing loyal about being a bully to my friends."
This was gotten the obligatory group hug... and the expected restitutions for the damage they'd done to Twilight's castle eating parts of it whenever they felt hungry.
"Are we going to have to spend time in the friendship dungeon?" Rainbow asked.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "The only Dungeon worth talking about is the one your characters are in... since you demanded a pure dungeon crawl hack-and-slash, and since we're already partially through it, we might as well finish it..."
"Twilight that trap-door puzzle was torture," Rarity said matter of fact.
"Maybe I was venting a little... but I won't retcon my dungeon once the adventure has started... that is a sign of a weak OO. So, you've recovered both keys, and can now enter the next level of the dungeon... which is a large empty space."
"Trap." All the ponies and dragon said together.
But without much choice, they inched along... seeing a massive Ogre storming around the dark level, not having seen the heroes.
"Ah don't know if we're level enough to take that on," AJ said.
"Knowing Twilight, we're supposed to out smart it or avoid it," Spike said.
And three giant spider appeared around them, just appeared, no teleportation, no switch triggered, they just appeared.
Cries of 'not fair' and 'cheater' cried out and the heroes beat a hasty retreat.
The heroes decided to try and whittle away the Ogre's health... the arrow from AJ's ranger didn't even scratch damage. Instead, it roared and bull-rushed them, forcing them to retreat.
And when they returned, they found the Ogre waiting right at the bottom of the steps for them... over, and over, and over.
"TWILIGHT THIS ISN'T FAIR!" Fluttershy protested.
"That so?" Twilight said simply, her face icily calm. "You're the ones who provoked an enemy into a confined space with you after you acknowledged you were no match for it... "
The players cringed.
Rarity sighed. "And since AJ and Rainbow Dash insisted we make our characters proper for a 'buck in the door' adventure... we don't have any non-combat oriented skills or spells to get passed it."
AJ and RD sighed. "Sorry."
"Kamakazi our characters at the Ogre and go back into the dungeon with their heirs to avenge them with a more rounded team?" Spike suggested.
Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Well, AJ and me did design our characters and role played them as battle hungry blood knights, so yeah, they'd be in character."
Session 105.11 Alex Warlorn (continued from real life)
What the players found however... was the Ogre had indeed wandered off a few feet away... and that the giant spider when they did indeed teleport in, left a space for the player's party to to avoid being cornered if they acted fast enough... The giant spider one-on-one were easy enough... them came the Ogre... they were reduced to riding a crazy merry-go-round as they tagged the Ogre as it relentlessly followed them, and they used this to their advantage... it took a long time, both in and out of game... but the Ogre fell... then the ponies found out that was only the BEGINNING of the dungeon level... and they'd also meet fire elementals in fireproof armor soon enough...
Session 104.12 Mtangalion
Another group of embarrassed young dragons filed into the tent that Cadence had set up. There was a brilliant flash of magic from within, and soon the same number of ponies filed out again, most with an extra spring in their step. Ponyville was slowly returning to normal, about a dozen creatures at a time.
Scootaloo swooped over the crowd, thoroughly enjoying herself. She'd been a huge jerk to her friends and she'd be doing a ton of apologizing, true, but that was no reason to give up being an awesome dragon, or a fully-functional pair of wings! Her sharp eyes immediately picked out one particular pegasus colt in the group. "Hah! I knew it!"
"Shut up," said Rumble. He took off and tried to hurry away back home.
Scoots darted in front of him, pointing a claw at the symbol on his flanks: a mysterious-looking pyramid with an eye on top. "You got a cultist leader cutie mark! I totally called it!"
Rumble facehoofed. "I said shut up!"
Inside the tent, Princess Cadence gulped from a bottle of water, groaning and massaging around her horn. "Twilight was making this look easy..." When she heard the tent flap rustle again, Cadence forced a smile and called out, "I'll be ready in just a moment!"
Then she looked up and gasped, nearly dropping the bottle. "Shiny!" He'd finally come to her, alone...
Shining Armor grinned sheepishly. "So... I've decided. Make me a pony again, Cady."
Cadence rushed to embrace her husband, sleek silver scales and all. "Are... are you sure?"
Shining hugged her tight. "This all started because I was worried that I'd never become an Alicorn, but I definitely won't if I'm not a pony to begin with. Besides, if I'm going to pledge myself to any goddess... it should be the one I already gave my heart to."
Outside the tent, waiting dragons heard an ear-piercing "SQUEE!!" And a pink hoof hastily hung a "Back in fifteen minutes" sign on the tent entrance, before once again vanishing inside.
"Thank you SO much for sticking around to play my game!" said Prince Button Mash. "You guys are gonna win at everything for a while!"
"Oh really, now?" purred Diamond Tiara, who was also still a dragoness. She shared a sly grin with Smolder beside her. "You're allowed to do that?"
Button nodded excitedly. "It was super-easy, barely an inconvenience!" He lowered his voice and jerked a hoof towards Twilight's group, sitting around the other end of the pavilion's game table. "I just gave you all of *their* good rolls."
Right on cue, Rainbow Dash roared "Oh, come on! Natural one again!??"
Twilight gave Dash the Dragon a flat stare, seeming unbothered by the burning embers in her mane. "You successfully climb out of the pit trap and fall into another pit three feet away." She rolled a D20 twice and winced. "It's... full of treasure-eating slime."
Diamond shrugged it off and looked across the table at Doctor Whooves. "So, what kind of dragon did you turn into?"
"Hmm?" The peculiar earth pony inventor grinned broadly. "Oh, no kind. It wouldn't have worked on me anyway."
Derpy sighed. "I wondered what kind I'd be, but the nice dragons at the potion store wouldn't sell me any." She nudged a die, sulking... and the die somehow skipped across the table, bumping into a bunch of other dice and causing ALL of them to come up twenty.
"Whoa..." She rolled the dice again and got all twenties a second time.
"Now now," said the Doctor. "Save some good fortune for the actual game!"
Smolder turned the page in a booklet describing Button's game setting, her brow furrowing. "What game?" She waved her character sheet. "It looks like we're all geared up to go talk politics and junk. Does my countess even have a sword?"
Button leaned and whispered, "There's going to be a fancy dress ball."
Smolder's eyes grew wide. "Really?! I mean..." She coughed into a fist. "I suppose I can put up with it."
Session 104.12 Mtangalion
While Cadence's tent still had a good-sized crowd of dragons waiting their turn to become ponies again, and Tiamat's brood was partying at her feet like only dragons could, the line to speak with the avatar of Bahamut was a lot shorter. As in, currently just one pony. That was just as well, since otherwise Filthy Rich would have been holding the line up, asking the Dragon King all sorts of questions.
"Good one, your majesty!" Mr. Rich chuckled politely. "You almost had me believing you for a second, there."
Bahamut blew a lazy smoke ring, his bemused grin unchanged.
Mr. Rich blinked. "You're serious. Dragon Town uses *steel coins* for money?!"
"To avoid the temptations of unchecked greed, they think it best to deposit their gems and precious metals at my temple. At the bank, that is." Bahamut lifted a paw, flicking his claws in a sort of shrug. "Of course, you would only be subject to such laws if you lived in Dragon Town. And if you chose to become a dragon, of course."
Mr. Rich dabbed his brow with a hoofkerchief. "That's, ah... not really my interest, your majesty, no offense. I'm looking for new, untapped markets." He stood taller, getting into his sales pitch. "We use different currencies, but there's exchanges, aren't there? And Dragon Towners enjoy the comforts of civilization, just like ponies do!"
"When they are sufficiently fireproofed." Bahamut peered at him thoughtfully. "Would you indulge *me* in a question, Sir Rich? You're very focused on gathering wealth and power, yet at no time did you seek to pledge to my Queen. Why?"
"Because that ain't how I do business," said Mr. Rich, shaking his head. "I'm no thief! I make fair trades and I play by the rules."
Bahamut grinned sharply. "Are you quite certain that you don't harbor a secret wish to join my children? Your daughter seems quite taken with being a dragon."
Mr. Rich blinked, seeming shaken. "She hasn't changed back yet? We need to have a little family discussion about that. If you'll excuse me..."
Session 104.13 Alex Warlorn
Inspired by this beauty.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beqqaXUrtWU (Terrifying video game AI in PUBG - Terminator)
Vice President Chrysalis said proudly, "So, the servers for our new game, Bikinis and Bazookas launched right on time!"
"I'm still worried this game might... damage our image," Radiant Hope said.
"Don't worry, we're releasing a Speedos and Stinger-missiles expansion once the profits for this game come in."
"That isn't... quiet what I meant."
"Just wait until I have the Bots ready!" Lead Programmer Discord said.
"Actually, since you were so busy, we had a third party take care of that."
"HUH?! Who?"
"Some group called Flim and Flam Reliable And Stable Programming."
Discord went pale. "You... hired...WHO?"
---
The Shadowbolts plus Sci-Twi stood in the virtual desert on the same 'team', wearing swim suits that Indigo Zap had already paid good money for the cosmetic items, armed with heavy weapons far above their weight class.
And the bot not thirty feet from them... shooting at them and still missing, began to walk in circles, seemingly trying to shoot itself, and somehow still failing spectrally... It did manage to pump full of lead an outhouse doodad on the landscape with some of Sugarcoat's drones floating right next to it.
"At least the PvP works fine," Indigo Zap offered.
"Yes, you get the idea that they hired out of house with the bots," Sugarcoat said.
"I don't see what the problem," Soursweet smiled. "FREE KILL POINTS!" She snapped, putting the poor bot out of its misery. "Let's rack up the kills before they patch it out! We're going bot hunting!"
Session 104.14 Mtangalion
Starlight Glimmer pulled back the curtain flap and winced. "Well, here's your problem." Inside, Princess Cadence and the restored Shining Armor were blissfully sound asleep, and not looking likely to wake anytime soon. "I'll just do a quick one-time bypass on their anti-foalnapping wards, and..." Both royal ponies vanished in a teleport flash.
Carrot Top faceclawed. "Well, that's just great! Who's going to turn us back into ponies now?"
Starlight gave her a half-lidded glare. "Gee, if only the most magically gifted unicorn in all Equestria was right here in front of you. Oh wait, she is!"
"I am?" asked Trixie, over by the game table. She'd been making some of the party snacks vanish into her hat for later.
Starlight ignored her and fired a turquoise bolt at Carrot Top, which surrounded her in an aura which quickly popped like a soap bubble, instantly restoring her to pony form. "You're welcome."
Starlight did a quick count of the remaining dragons who wanted to be ponies again, then conjured a single blazing orb that fired turquoise bolts in all directions. Soon, elated ponies were cantering joyfully, high-hoofing each other and hugging friends and relatives.
One of those ponies... an overweight green earth pony with a bluish-gray mane... was oddly familiar, even though Starlight could have sworn she'd never seen him before. Had she zapped someone who was supposed to be a dragon by mistake? "Excuse me, sir? Wait..." She did a double-take. "Sludge?!"
"Haha, I'm free!" shouted Sludge, prancing in circles. "No more Tiamat in my head! No more Dragon Lord bossing me around!"
Starlight lifted a hoof. "Are... you sure you want to be a pony, Sludge? I have a feeling you might have some regrets in a few years."
"Nonsense! I'm free to do whatever I want!" Sludge struck a pose. "Why, I might move to a big city! Get a job! Write a novel! Go on an adventure!"
Starlight noted that Sludge's new cutie mark was a comfy feather pillow. "Uh huh, let me know how that works out for you." She trotted away, looking over the crowd of celebrating ponies. "Looks like my work here is done. Turning creatures *back* into ponies is so boring, though..." She cleared her throat. "Hey! Does any creature want to be a griffon or whatever while Twilight's not here to say no?"
Twist waved a small hoof over her head. "Ooh, can I be a snow wolf like Pavel and Scruff?" She could barely pronounce 'Scruff' through her lisp, but she did her best.
Starlight blinked. "Interesting choice, but sure, why not?" One zap later, a happily yipping wolf pup was rolling in a patch of snow that other ponies slowly backed away from.
"Ooh!" cried Lyra. "I want to be..."
"No humans!" said Starlight quickly.
"... a hippogriff!"
Starlight grinned. "Easy peasy!"
Predictably, Lyra geeked out over her finger-talons, then launched herself skyward, doing midair cartwheels.
"Lyra!" shouted an exasperated Bon Bon. She gave Starlight a dirty look. "Me too, so I can catch her before she gets in trouble."
Starlight was still watching the hippogriffs chase each other across the skies of Ponyville when Future Alicorn Starlight popped into existence beside her. "Looks like my work here is done."
Unicorn Starlight blinked. "Um, did you even do anything?"
Alicorn Starlight rolled her eyes. "What do you mean, did I do anything? I fixed Discord's paradox! Flim and Flam convinced Granny Smith that the dragon potion was a health tonic, and she baked it into an apple pie. There was never any secret kirin clan."
Unicorn Starlight took a step back, alarmed. "What!? You can't just retroactively undo a retroactive change! Remember what happened before!"
"Hey, who's the Alicorn of Time here? I did the math!" She conjured a blackboard on a pivoting wooden frame. "Wanna see?"
Unicorn Starlight smirked. "As much as we love showing off how smart we are... I think I'll pass. I'll work it out later, right?"
"You do, yes." Alicorn Starlight vanished the chalkboard again. "All critical path destinies are restored, Twilight's friends are ponies again..."
"Except for Rainbow Dash."
"Yes, except for... Wait, what did you say?" Alicorn Starlight lit her horn, seeming to frown at something in the far distance. Then her eyes shrank to pinpricks.
Unicorn Starlight groaned. "Now what? What did we do?"
"Nothing!" yelped Future Starlight. "I totally didn't mess up the future a thousand years from now! There's still *plenty* of time to fix it!" She trotted in place frantically. "I really must be going. Don't do anything I didn't already do in the past! Bye!"
"I suppose I could travel to the future to help her fix this." Starlight considered this for a while. "What am I thinking? That is *literally* future Starlight's problem. All present Starlights in favor of going out for ice cream?" She raised her hoof. "The motion carries!"
Session 104.15 Alex Warlorn
Apple Bloom sat in Princess Twilight's office... with the Elements of Harmony taking on more and more jobs and roles lately... Apple Bloom was beginning to notice the cracks in Equestria's heroes. Like some cosmic force was bullying them into taking on more hours in their day then there were hours in the day... But that wasn't why she was here.
"Princess Twilight... why did Cozy Glow do what she did?"
"Huh? To take over Equestria! That was fairly obvious!" Twilight went back to her frantic desk work. "Which is why we need to be prepared for whatever she and Tirek are planning! Now that we know they escaped Tartarus!"
Apple Bloom shook her head. "That ain't what what'da meant! When Diamond Tiara starting bullying me for not having a cutie mark... even though Silver Spoon got hers FIRST... Ah thought she was doin' it just to be a bully... Then Ah found out about Spoiled Rich... It's just... We never learned ANYTHING about her! She's a PONY! Not some ancient evil from a thousand years ago! How the heck did she turn out that way?! Did ya ever meet her parents? What did she write up on her paper work when she joined the school?"
Twilight's jaw dropped...her eyes became pinpricks... "Her... parents?" 'Why... why the Tartarus did I never ONCE think about that?!'
-
Cozy Glow covered one eye cried out.
"You okay?!" Little princess Ira of the Umbrum asked.
"... I feel... like somepony just stripped away some of my mystique!"
"OH! You mean while when some 'anti-changeling magic' forces you back into your true shape even though you'd come up with a perfect cover story to infiltrate that stupid school and then you had to run away before you even started?" Princess Imago asked.
"... Uh... Maybe?" Answered she destined to rule pony kind with an iron hoof, a child of a fiend and a diamond jackal queen.
-
Apple Bloom went on. "Ah mean... Fluttershy redeemed DISCORD... Ah used to have nightmares what he did to me and my friends... now he's our friend. It seems kinda weird ya didn't try to have Fluttershy help redeem her too!"
Twilight opened and closed her mouth, but could find no logical response.
-
"AGH!" Cozy Glow clutched her chest like she was having a heart attack.
"NOW WHAT?!"
"It's like somepony out there... knowing I'm pure evil, STILL wants to 'redeem' me that those ponies are obsessed with!"
"That's pretty precise..." Ira said rather weirded out.
-
"Twilight... is it wrong Ah feel... bad that Ah accepted Cozy Glow was evil when Sandbar and the others told us? Ah mean, we had no reason to believe them, and we were closer to Cozy Glow than to them... but we still just accepted it licktey split... Ah feel like we were right for the wrong reasons."
"Apple Bloom, she manipulate you like she did everypony else."
"We didn't know that then. And even if she wasn't our friend, we were her friends."
-
"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" Cozy Glow screamed, now tied down to her bed as her body twisted in agony, drenched in sweat.
Prince Vordul meanwhile, was playing on his Gamecolt Pony Zombie Pummel XIV, Hercules van Beetle once again pummeling zombie ponies... his mom had bought up the rights since the game series was suddenly considered 'politically incorrect' by the mutant traitor scum changeling, and had ensued her son's favorite video game series continued to be produced. He was also wearing headphones so he didn't have to listen to Cozy Glow wails of agony.
"Mommy... do you not like being motherly to me?" The toddler changeling princess, Pupa, and the last of Chrysalis' three 'royal spawn' asked after hearing her mother complain of the other world's artists making her look motherly.
Chrysalis gently stroked Pupa, who had finally emerged from her larval stage. "Remember, mommy endures all that and more for most precious babies. Remember, I'm looking forward to the time when, after all ponykind are our obedient love batteries as they were always destined to be, you three assassinate me, then immediately turn on each other so only one of you rules, tearing down half the kingdom in the process, spending the first couple years of your reign repairing the damage from the succession war, and then repeat the cycle with your own grubs, mommy will be so proud you." Chrysalis said in the most cooing, sweetly voice imaginable that left Tirek and Grogar staring at her bewildered.
"You're not parents, you wouldn't understand," Rabia remarked. Cozy Glow continued to scream. "UGH! Somepony gag the brat!"
-
"And that's why I think if we'd spotted her evil plans ahead of time, we could have saved her from herself," Sweetie Belle explained.
-
"F... F... F...finally!" Cozy Glow gasped, he pain settling at last.
-
"And here are some friendship picture we drew with her before we knew she was evil."
-
"NOT AGAIN!" Cozy Glow screamed the agony returning full force. She and Ira continued to work out their plan to exploit Grogar's original bell for their own evil plan between cries of agony.
"I never thought I'd hear something so satisfying," Mean Twilight said, distantly reading over their shoulders while being treated like a piece of furniture.
"Would be better if it was coming out of Chrysalis' mouth!" said Mean Dash.
"No it wouldn't," Mean AJ remarked.
-
Future Alicorn Starlight exasperated. "But seriously! JUST TEACH SCOOOTALOO TO LIKE YOU CAN ALREADY!"
Bulk Biceps cringed. "You don't need to shout it so loud!"
"Yes I do! The fabric of the space time continuum depends on it!" Then her pager went off. "Hmmm... Best check up on her."
-
Future Alicorn Starlight teleported in the room of the cabal of Daring Do, Maternal Love-Tap, and Bon-Bon. Daring Do was on the floor with a broken leg.
"Ahuizotl's 'good guy' brainwashing finally break down?" She asked casually.
Daring Do nodded."Yep... He sure rejected those good memories HARD..."
Session 104.16 Alex Warlorn one line by Mtangalion
Wallflower said, "I don't get why all those dungeon masters broke down in tears and stopped DMing after playing with me."
Sunset asked, "Did you... use the memory stone to keep erasing events until you were able to win the adventure in seconds?"
"Yeah, sure, I figured that would be a great way to get people to like me."
"Wallflower! They spent days, weeks, months, memorizing a module or creating it from scratch! And you beat it in a couple minutes from their point of view?! They don't get to experience your triumphs or failures with you? You just step in and win? You DESTROYED THEM! You made a mockery of all their hardwork, and trivialized everything they prepared for you! They aren't video game characters for you to abuse an New Game Plus on!"
"But, my plan to defeat Nightmare Moon with dirty limericks..."
"If you've played an adventure to that point Wallflower... it's time to find a new one. You're going to get a bad reputation as a campaign breaker, and no one will want to play with you."
"Not if I erase their memories!"
Sunset admonished."Wallflower."
"Joking!"