//------------------------------// // Two Introverts and the Oh So Humble Spirit of Chaos // Story: Mission to the Pony Planet // by ersmiller //------------------------------// The sounds of nature surrounded two yellow ponies on a picnic blanket. In the distance, animals frolicked or rested in various states of recovery and rehabilitation. “Thank you for teaching me how to make those flower sandwiches,” said Butterfly. “They were delicious. I especially liked the pink lily rolls. I hope horses and other creatures in my world will enjoy these recipes.” “Did you try the hayburgers too?” asked Posey. “Oh, no. I had already filled up on the sandwiches, but I tried the hayfries. I had a hayshake too, even some of the hay, um, salad.” While answering, Butterfly looked over the remaining foodstuffs on their picnic blanket left behind by their guests. “Hay is a much more versatile food than I ever realized.” Moving to a hover, Posey began collecting dishes and putting away leftovers while answering. “Hay is an important part of a healthy diet for us and many creatures. We use it in lots of things: bread, pie crusts, garnish. Your species doesn’t eat it at all?” “We can’t really digest it and I don’t think it would taste very good. Though I’ve never tried it before becoming a pony.” “That’s right, you did mention being an omnivore.” Posey shuddered slightly. “Well, every species does have its own unique nutritional needs.” “Speaking of every species,” Butterfly gushed while taking another look down their little hill at all the animal guests returning to their temporary homes, “Sweet Feather Sanctuary is just wonderful! I’ve always dreamed of working at such a place, and you actually designed this yourself!” “Aww.” Posey blushed. “Why thank you. Sweet Feather’s always been a dream of mine as well.” “And now you care for so many wonderful animals, and so well-cultured.” Butterfly paused as a thought came to her. “Did Harry come up with that honey porridge recipe himself?” “He learned it while on vacation at the beach.” Noticing a confused expression on Butterfly’s face, Posey added, “I’m not sure how that makes sense either.” She giggled. “But some of the best things don’t make sense. You’ll see when Discord comes over later.” “Oh, that’s right. You were going to introduce us. But not during our book club picnic?” Posey shook her head with a smile. “Discord, um …, commands attention? Or, well, you’ll see. I thought it might be best for you to spend time with the animals first and then Discord separately. I invited him over for dinner instead. I thought we’d order out but he said he’d bring it.” “Twi talked about Discord before. Sunset mentioned a legend about him too. Sounds a little scary. Do you really think I’ll like him?” “Oh I think….” Posey’s head dropped a few degrees, her mane moving to cover a slightly rosy cheek. “Discord’s a wonderful person, very funny too. He has a scary past, but he’s become a great friend since he reformed.” “I see.” Butterfly considered that. “Like Sunset, Wallflower, or Juniper. Or Aria … kinda. It’s scary sometimes but I love it when we can help people turn their lives around” “Like healing a wounded animal,” Butterfly added. “But it’s their heart that hurts.” “And staying with them so they feel better.” ““And showing them every bit of kindness we can,”” they finished together. The twins shared a smile, remembering how each of their circle of friends had grown over the years. “That reminds me,” Butterfly began, thinking of one of her longest friendships, “where’s your Angel? I was hoping he’d be at the meeting so I could see what kind of books he’d like. Mine doesn’t know how to read but I’d like to try teaching him.” “Oh!” Posey’s head and ears popped up before slowly sinking down as she spoke. “He likes mysteries, and uh, … thrillers, and, um, well, his collection is a little scary actually.” “Ah, is that why he’s not here? Too scary for the other creatures and, um, us?” “Actually, there are a couple members who share his interests so he usually shows up, but he said he had some things to take care of today.” “Aww, that’s too bad.” “I am surprised Robert didn’t show up though.” “Eep.” Butterfly ducked to hide both a cringe and a blush. “He and his older daughters have been delightful members.” “Oh, it’s also too bad they’re not here,” said a sheepish Butterfly. “Mm,” Posey nodded before turning and reaching for a box beside her, “but since we’re alone….” She stopped and looked around quickly to be sure of that fact before continuing softly, “It’s t-time for a little book share!” “But we just had book club.” “Yes, but these are titles I wanted to share with just you.” Posey looked around again while opening the box. “I got these from Rarity.” She blushed. “I already got her permission to pass them along. I didn’t mention to whom.” After placing the opened box on the picnic blanket between the two of them, Posey seemed to lose the ability to keep her mane from hiding her face as Butterfly looked inside and scanned the titles on top. Reined In, Lost Mares, Mastering Her Herd, Fifty Shades of Hay. Butterfly’s mane flopped forward to match her twin’s almost as if it was commanded to. “U-uh, I, um, m-may have, r-r-read some of t-these already?” Time passed. Neither mare moved. The wind blew through their manes revealing faces of a color more commonly seen on Pinkie Pie. They risked a glance at each other. And shied away immediately. Tried again. Then quickly stared at the picnic blanket away from the box. Until, finally. Snerk "“Hehe.”" "“Ha ha.”" The twins giggled. Softly at first, but eventually louder and more uncontrollably until they were holding their stomachs in laughter. *** *** *** *** *** *** Meanwhile, in a secret, undisclosed meeting place, an angry bunny tightened his headband and stared down at his targets. Two carrots tied at their stems dangled from each paw. “We’re sorry!” Special Agent Heartstrings cried. “We really thought they were changeling infiltrators!” Special Agent Sweetie Drops added. “It was Bonnie’s idea!” “What?!” “It was!” “Way to throw me under the cart, Lyra!” “I said they were from another world, but noooo, it had to be changelings!” “I was working with the evidence at hoof!” “So was I!” “You were working with comic books!” “Based on real legends!” “Those are myths!” "Yeah!" Lyra smirked. "Like Nightmare Moon was a 'myth'!" “But—!” A loud clang rang out and the two agents turned to see that Special Agent Diablo had struck a gong with one of his carrot-chucks. A beat later, a platoon of animals popped up all around them: dogs, ducks, pigs, pigeons, even a kitten and more. Many carried pitchforks and torches. The mares backed up a step. “Bon Bon, I love you.” “I love you too.” They turned and ran. The animals charged. *** *** *** *** *** *** Meow, Meow-Meow-Meow, Meow, Meow-Meow-Meow, Meow-Meow, Meow-Meow, Meow, Meow-Meow-Meow! ""Eep!”” two red-faced Fluttershys bolted up from the book they had been reading together when Posey’s alarm clock struck five. Immediately, Butterfly slammed the book closed and Posey fluttered over to shut off the alarm. In the silence, they looked at each other and giggled through their rosy cheeks. Posey put the book back in the box, covered it securely, and slid it under her bed. ““Time to feed the animals,”” they told each other. In the time since their giggle fit over the box of books, the two had cleaned up their picnic, relocated to Posey’s cottage and snuck away to read the latest gift from Rarity together. It was the first time either had shared this interest with any other creature. They never even told their respective Raritys that they actually read the gifted books. The Raritys knew, of course, but they let their Fluttershys believe they didn’t. Once the animals were taken care of, it was time for Discord’s dinner visit. “So when is Discord coming?” asked Butterfly. Posey giggled. “Discord doesn’t really pay attention to clocks other than his own, and those don’t really work like ours.” “So how do we know when he’ll be here?” “I’ll call him.” “I thought you didn’t have phones.” Posey paused and considered that. “I guess we don’t because I don’t know what phones are.” “Another journal like Sunset’s then?” “Close, I suppose. I am going to have Speedy deliver a letter.” “A speedy delivery?” “Oh, he’s very speedy.” Butterfly followed Posey out the back door to a cozy garden. “Speedy?” Posey called, and Butterfly watched her poke around, looking on rocks and under leaves. “Oh there you are!” Two eyes on stalks poked out from behind a potted plant. “Speedy is a snail?” asked Butterfly. “Yes he is,” Posey confirmed. "Discord sent him to me." “And he’s going to deliver a letter?” “Snail mail.” Butterfly opened her mouth to reply but found she had no words. She reminded herself she was currently a small, talking horse with wings in a magical world. Such a place was so full of wonders! “Hello, Speedy,” she greeted cheerfully. Speedy slowly turned and blinked at her, then gave a slight bow with his eye-stalks. “It’s nice to meet you too.” Posey smiled at the pair. “Would you like to deliver a letter to Discord for me?” Speedy slowly turned and blinked at her, then gave a slight bow with his eye-stalks. “Thank you.” While Speedy slowly inched his way out from behind the plant, Posey ducked under her left wing and pulled out a pencil and a sheet of parchment. Butterfly tilted her head a moment then checked under her own wings. “Huh.” A small line of tiny feathers created a sort of little pocket there. “That’s handy, er, wing-y,” she mused. Posey placed the parchment on a flat rock and put the pencil in her mouth with the point facing out. “Hmmm,” she muttered to herself. “Which one should I try?” Posey thought for a bit more before her eyes lit up and she began to write, seemingly trying to hold back some giggles. Once she was finished, she nodded to Butterfly who looked down and read the letter. ” ‘What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster’?” Butterfly gave her twin a confused look but the only reply was a smile and a giggle before Posey tucked the pencil back under her wing and passed the letter to Speedy. Speedy bit the edge of the letter and retreated into his shell, pulling the whole paper inside with him. Butterfly stared, thinking it was clearly larger than the shell even if wadded up, but the little snail managed just fine as Posey trotted to the other end of her yard to stand next to a small, patchwork-textured tree with a series of progressively larger clouds hovering just above it. Following her over, Butterfly examined the spectacle. The tree was all the colors of the rainbow, and more, and was oddly shaped with some limbs even curling into spirals and what looked like tufts of fur sprouting where leaves would normally be. Words and images flashed through the largest cloud just above it. Posey answered the confusion. “It’s a thought cloud. This is Discord’s new thinking tree.” “Thinking tree ….” “Isn’t it cute?” It was, as far as Butterfly was concerned. However, she was still taking it all in when Posey picked up a stopwatch and called out to Speedy. “Are you ready, Speedy?” Looking back to the little snail, they both saw him still inching his way toward them, hardly any closer than the plant he had started from. Not far away though was a white line drawn on the stone pathway. Speedy eventually lined himself up with it and bowed deeply. “Okay,” Posey called. “On your mark.” Speedy didn’t move. “Get Set.” Speedy blinked. “Go!” Posey clicked the stopwatch. Speedy … vibrated. And then Butterfly could hear a sound. A familiar sound, but one she never thought she’d hear in this world of magic. Tires grinding on pavement. Suddenly, Speedy blazed forward, leaving a wake of pure air pressure behind him. Before she knew it, Speedy had passed them, and climbed up the trunk so fast he was airborne, shooting himself into the thought cloud of Discord’s thinking tree. Speedy was gone. “Yay,” Posey cheered softly, looking at the stop watch. “A new record.” Butterfly blinked, did her best to get her jaw working, and then her brain. “… What ….” Posey smiled, put the stopwatch away, and apparently wrote down the new time on a chart beside the tree. As Posey trotted away, Butterfly continued to stare. At the tree, at the thought cloud, at the sizzling snail trail left behind from Speedy. “Well,” she eventually said to herself, “magic world.” She smiled and giggled. “I’ve just seen the strangest thing I’ll see in my life.” “Now we just wait for Discord.” Butterfly looked to Posey to see her simply sitting on a step leading to her cottage. “How long will that t—?” “Cockerpoodledoo!” came a shout from behind her and she startled away with an eep. A strange dog-like creature with yellow eyes had shot upward, apparently out from the thought cloud. It had the cute, fluffy ears and tail of a cocker spaniel but the adorable, curly, woolly fur of a poodle. It also had the beak and wings of a rooster? “Cockerpoodledoo!” it crowed again. Posey cheered delightedly. “Oh, Discord, you got it. And so adorable too!” “Of course, my dear,” said the creature in a much deeper voice than befitted such levels of cute, “I always enjoy your jokes.” “That’s Discord?” Butterfly chirped, watching the creature bob around and scratch at the ground with his taloned front legs, scratch behind his ears with his hind paws, and peck some left over chicken feed with his beak. After that he chased a frisbee that just appeared in a flash. Upon catching it in his beak it became a bone, which he promptly buried near the thinking tree. Discord was wonderful! As Discord’s antics continued, Butterfly giggled and began trotting toward her twin, but a bright flash brought her attention back. Discord wasn’t a … ‘cockerpoodledoo’ anymore. He was much taller for starters. Gone was the fluffy and fuzzy creature and in its place was a being with a long snake-like body that Butterfly had to crane her neck up high to fully take in. An oddly bent goat hind leg; a dragon hind leg, a scaly, red tail with a tuft of white hair at the end; a thin, brown body; a blue pegasus wing; a dark bat wing, a lion’s foreleg; an eagle’s claw; a curved gray head with a horse-like black mane, white goatee, white eyebrows, pony ears; and finally two very mismatched horns. The eyes didn’t change in color but they were large and egg-shaped. Oh. O…kay? So, a snail delivering mail via drag race into a thinking tree’s thought clouds wasn’t the strangest thing she’d ever see in her life. “Fluttershy!” the apparently real form of Discord cheered, twirling his tail’s tuft of fur like a helicopter to float over toward Posey—without using his wings. “It’s been too long.” “It’s only been four days,” Posey answered. “Much, much too long in my book. See?” Discord held out a book that suddenly existed, with four days of a calendar sticking out of it like a bookmark. He was right, those four days were several times taller than the book. Taller than Discord even. The book promptly stopped existing a moment after Posey giggled at the gag. “How have you been, my dear and what’s been going on lately?” A portable fan appeared, hovering in the air beside Discord and blew hard enough for Discord’s mane, goatee, eyebrows, ears, and even horns to flap wildly in the breeze it generated. As his feet began to slide he reached out and grabbed a streetlamp—also something that just happened to appear—to keep from being completely blown away. “I caught wind of some chaos happening in town not too long ago!” he yelled over the gust. “I’ve been doing wonderfully,” Posey answered calmly, taking the whole thing in stride. “I’m surprised you didn’t come to town if you knew you’d find chaos here.” The fan and streetlamp vanished and Discord suddenly stood … normally(?) in front of Posey. “Well I knew you were in Canterlot and I didn’t want to impose. It’s not like I was called over. Well, except by the Flower Trio, but you know how they are. A simple caterpillar family in their flower cart and they think the sky is falling!” “Discord.” Posey adopted a slight scolding tone and her smile drooped. “They all had cat faces.” “But they were caterpillars!” “And they were falling from the sky.” “They fell off their pillars.” “What about their top hats?” He shrugged nonchalantly. “I had just visited Rarity and was feeling fancy.” Posey’s smile grew again and she laughed but cut herself off quickly. “Well…,” she paused to clear the laugh out of her throat. “For starters, Ponyville has some guests. One in particular I’d like to introduce you to.” Following the hoof she pointed with, Discord turned to see Butterfly’s tilted head blinking at him. “This is Butterfly,” Posey finished. Realizing she was now being looked at, Butterfly snapped to attention with a squeak. She grimaced and her eyes flicked a few times. “Ah yes,” said Discord, “I was wondering about the imitator.” “Imitator?” asked Posey. “I thought you just hadn’t noticed her. How did you know which one of us was, well, me?” Discord scoffed. “As if I couldn’t recognize a simple transmogrification spell.” He leaned down toward Butterfly, or at least his top half did. Or … was he growing longer? While Discord’s legs and lower half remained in place, Butterfly saw his neck elongating and bending, growing lower to match her eye height for a closer inspection. “Let’s see here. Clearly not a changeling. I always get a faint cheese scent from their magic, unless the reformed changelings found a way to hide that. Is that you, Thorax?” Butterfly blinked and looked from Discord to Posey and back. “Um—.” “No, no, of course not,” Discord answered for her. “Even Thorax would try to sell the role, any changeling would, but you’ve just been standing there this whole time staring blankly and grimacing instead of smiling shyly like the real Fluttershy would. No, no, I was right before, you’re not a changeling. You’re not a golem or ponmunculus either. This is a direct spell with no clay or alchemy involved. A more standard come-to-life spell, perhaps? You’re not a doll are you?” Again, Butterfly took a moment to ponder the question before opening her mouth. “I, uh—“ “No,” Discord said as he peered closer with a sudden magnifying glass in his paw, getting Butterfly to lean back, “thread-count’s much too low, and you're not plastic.” Posey came up close to Butterfly and smiled reassuringly, getting a weak smile in return right before Discord returned to his earlier, shorter-necked posture. “Ah ha! Once of ol’ Starswirl’s second-generation omnimorphic spells! I knew it looked familiar. The modern version just doesn’t have the same flare.” Posey put a hoof to her chin in thought. “Oh, a Starswirl spell does make sense actually.” “Yes,” Discord continued, “but now let’s see what this ‘Butterfly’ really looks like.” He snapped his talons. And everything was suddenly shorter. “Oh my!” Posey called up to Butterfly. “Is this what you normally look like?” Butterfly blinked, her vision a bit dazed, bringing back memories of Twi’s teleportation spell. When her vision cleared, she saw a new person had come to stand in between Discord and Posey. A biped creature with a vaguely cow-shaped head. It was much like the minotaur they had seen selling cardboard wings in Canterlot except this one had yellow fur and pink hair. It was also female and very well endowed. She was also naked and a mirror. Wait, what? Butterfly looked down, flushed a pink almost matching her hair, and wondered if she should be screaming. She had just filled her lungs with her decision when Discord interrupted. “No, I believe that’s only half right.” He snapped the fingers of his lion paw and the world grew taller again. Though not as tall as before. After her vision had cleared once more, she saw the minotaur in the mirror had become her much more familiar, non-pony self. She was quite relieved to see she was also fully clothed. She looked down and checked herself over. Everything seemed right, she even had her phone and pet treats in her skirt pockets. “There,” the proud victory bow was clear in Discord’s voice, “completely dispelled.” As the sudden relief washed over her, Butterfly’s knees gave out and she knelt on the soft grass. “Are you okay, Butterfly?” Posey asked, coming up to her no longer identical twin’s side and putting a hoof on her shoulder. “Yeah,” Butterfly breathed and idly patted Posey’s mane. “Just surprised, and this is what I normally look like.” “Oh you’re a human … in Equestria,” Discord noted. “Not original, not by a long shot, but if the bandwagon’s been rolling this strong for eleven years, why not jump on?” “Human?” asked Butterfly. “I’ve never heard of that. We call ourselves humanes.” “Humanes?” Discord scratched his goatee. “Now that you mention it…,“ he looked over to the painting he was working on of a similar being but with peach-colored skin and blonde hair. “Humans don’t typically come in such bright colors, nor with such large eyes. I don’t suppose you’ve dyed yourself? Gotten some surgery?” Butterfly looked herself over again, noting her skin and hair. “No, these are my natural colors.” The painting was gone in a poof and Discord looked her over again while wearing glasses and wielding a spot-lamp. “Well, then. That’s a new one for me.” Leaning back and becoming shyer by the second in Discord’s lamp and inspection, Posey decided to jump in. “Oh, my. I’m sorry, I’m being rude.” She pointed from one guest to the other then back. “Butterfly, this is Discord. Discord, Butterfly.” “A pleasure,” Discord smiled, the glasses and lamp leaving existence. “Any friend of Fluttershy’s is a creature I intend to scrutinize heavily to determine their worthiness of her friendship.” “Discord!” Posey chided him. “I’m only being honest.” He grew a blonde ponytail and a southern accent. “Applejack says it’s a mite important. And she does it so often Ah reckon Ah can ignore it only so much.” “Well,” Posey considered that, “It is important, and I am glad you look out for me, but I know how to take care of myself.” When it looked like Discord had a comment on that, Posey was quick to continue. “And it’s particularly unnecessary here because Butterfly is actually another me from another world.” Discord’s eyes brightened and he took off his ponytail. It grew four legs and galloped away. “Ah! Another dimension’s Fluttershy! I had wondered. Don’t think I hadn’t noticed the resemblance. I take it ‘Butterfly’ is a nickname to avoid confusion?” The two Fluttershys nodded. “I’ve been going by Posey since we met,” Posey clarified. “But it would have been so wonderfully chaotic if you kept with Fluttershy for the both of you.” Posey giggled, “It was. Sorry, Discord, but it was getting confusing with all the others.” “Others?! More Fluttershys others?” “Actually, all of us have a twin now. Rainbow, Rarity, Pinkie, Applejack, and Twilight.” Discord recoiled with a shocked expression. “There’s two of Twilight now?” His face slowly turned from surprise to devilish grin. He reached up to stroke his beard, and his voice gained a deeper tone. “Interesting.” “Twilight’s twin has already gone home.” “Oh poo,” Discord mumbled, his smirk dropping to a frown as he tossed a book titled Pranks for the Purple Princess over his shoulder. It flew into Posey’s cottage and out a window. “So many wonderful ideas I just came up with out the window.” After a sigh, he addressed the two-legged Fluttershy, “So how did you all come by our humble world?” Butterfly, having been content to let Posey do all the talking, squeaked when it was clear it was her turn. “Oh, um, well—“ Posey reassured her with a wing hugged around her back and she continued with a more confident tone. “In our world, there’s this statue and walking through the base leads to a mirror in Twi’s palace.” “Really?” A pointy, blue hat decorated with moons, stars, and jingly bells appeared on each of the Fluttershys’ heads. Butterfly startled back and ducked while putting her hands up to feel what had just landed on her, but a quick glance at Posey just calmly reaching up and adjusting the hat to a better angle got her to settle down. “Would that be a Starswirl mirror?” Discord asked. The Fluttershys nodded, jingling their bells, ““Mm-hum.”” “You wouldn’t happen to know which one?” The Fluttershys shook their heads, jangling their bells, ““Un-uh.”” “And it’s in Twilight’s palace?” ““Mm-hum,”” they jingled again. “Well then, Butterfly,” Discord cheered, “being from a different dimension means we need to be properly introduced.” The Fluttershys looked at each other. ““We just did that.”” Discord just laughed. “Oh, no, no, no. You just got to know my name, not my full character. So allow me to really introduce myself.” He backed up a step and took a dramatic bow. “I am Discord, Ace of Absurd Antics—” He snapped his fingers. Suddenly there were fifty-four of him around the garden each sporting one of four different suits and many headdresses with varying numbers and crowns. Two jokers attempted to perform a stand-up comedy routine for the benefit of Posey’s animals. Some were playing poker with dogs. The rest were trying to pick each other up. The original Discord flashed and he was wearing a gray business suit with a green undershirt, sporting a very thick, wide, black mustache and holding a small Equestrian flag on a stick. “Baron of Bizarre Buffoonery.” Another flash and they were all aboard a tiny red tugboat and riding waves of seltzer water. The door to the wheelhouse opened and several Discords squeezed out dressed as clowns. “Captain of Clowning Around.” The seltzer began to swirl rapidly, the water level dropping fast. A few of the clown Discords tied balloon animals around the Fluttershys causing them to float safely as the Seltzer and tugboat, Discords and all, circled around further and further below them. A wide-eyed Butterfly turned to Posey, as well as she could while dangling from the balloon animals' strings, with a thousand questions in her eyes. Posey flew over to her and gave her a hug with a foreleg as they descended. "Discord?" she called to the sinking ship. "Would you mind toning it down a little, please? She's new after all." Once the seltzer, and all the flotsam, finished draining into a hole in the ground, a Discord in a janitor's uniform appeared with a plunger. Two plunges over the hole and the original Discord came out with his horns stuck in the plunger. He looked around as the balloon animals placed the Fluttershys safely on the freshly carbonated ground and popped out of existence. "But, it's not that much is it?" he asked the janitor. The janitor simply shrugged and pulled his plunger off original Discord's horns. He turned to leave but was interrupted when a straight flush of card Discords stole the plunger and used it to force themselves down the hole to escape several angry dogs in various poker hats chasing them. The dogs barked down the hole at their escaped game. The janitor just retrieved his plunger and poofed away while original Discord rolled his eyes and reached down to pick up the hole and slip it into a pocket he didn't have before. "I told the deck not to cheat. It's not like I stacked them. I know it's always ruff cheating dogs, they're so into that pug life that I now fear those cards will be hounded furever." From another pocket he produced some doggy treats and fed them to the dogs. They ate the treats and trotted away. "I stand corrected. They just rolled over. The right kibble makes anything pawsible." "Oh, Discord," Posey laughed. " 'Pawsible'. Hehe." "Are you quite sure I need to cut my introduction short?" Posey worked to stifle her giggles. "Well, that's up to Butterfly." They looked over to see Butterfly standing timidly and looking around at the leftovers of DIscord's introduction. A large anchor left behind from the sunken tugboat, the jokers getting booed off stage for their bad jokes, her shoes dislodging bubbles when they passed over the wet grass, which then floated into the air emitting random sounds as they popped. Splat Boink Honk Meow "Butterfly?" Posey eased. "How are you holding up?" Butterfly returned a weak smile and followed it with a thumbs up. "I don't know what that means," answered Posey. "I do!" cheered Discord. "It means she's good for my grand finale!" *** *** *** *** *** *** Some miles away, Princess Celestia rushed out onto her balcony, drawn there by a loud clatter and explosions of psychedelic lights throughout the sky. From within the castle walls it was impossible to tell where the commotion had originated, but she looked to the south immediately. It's always Ponyville, she thought to herself. With a flash, Princess Luna appeared behind her and stumbled around until she thought to swipe the eyemask off her face with a hoof. "Sister! What is happening?!" she cried. Up, in the sky, the clouds had parted and blaring trumpets, along with a multitude of banners being held aloft by winged vegetables, descended over the edge of the Everfree Forest. The banners all proudly displayed the name DISCORD, each in a different font and in cycling colors. In smaller writing, each banner had one of many titles written on them: Lord of the Ludicrous! Monarch of Lost Marbles! High-score holder of the downtown Hokey-Pokey contest! Grand Poobah of Goofing Off! And so on. Celestia put a hoof to her face. Luna leveled her brows and lit her horn, replacing the mask over her eyes. "I'm going back to bed." *** *** *** *** *** *** Discord snapped his fingers and all was as it was before. No more Discord clones, no more seltzer-wet grass, no sky banners and trumpets. And, as the weather team would appreciate, even the clouds had been returned to their original positions. Butterfly, having at some point fallen on her rump, stared on with her jaw hanging. “In all,” Discord continued, “I am Discord, the humble Spirit of Chaos, for short.” “Discord,” Posey got out while trying to stifle her giggles, “I bet the whole town saw that.” “Oh?” he asked in a light tone. “When do you think the reviews will be in?” Posey was too busy giggling to answer so Discord turned to Butterfly. “What about you, Butterfly? Ten out of ten?” Butterfly just sat there, eyes wide and flicking, hands raised in front of her, unmoving. “Yoohoo, Butterfly,” Discord tried again while passing a paw back and forth before her face. “Foreign Fluttershy, hello?” Posey looked over, her face turning to concern. “Butterfly?” Discord snapped his fingers and his paw turned into an alarm clock. It ticked a few times before the 12 opened up to reveal a tiny rooster. It cleared its throat and crowed, “Hay, wake up!” Butterfly’s eyes focused on the tiny rooster and her hands slowly came together into a weak clap. Then again and again with more force until she was giving him a polite standing ovation. “That was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen, Discord!” Posey relaxed with a sigh and joined in by stomping her forehooves on the ground. “Woo hoo.” With a big smile, Discord nonchalantly polished his talons on a belt sander. “It’s good to know my talents can be appreciated by some ponies, and other creatures.” Their applauding concluded, the Fluttershys stood together, still giggling softly. Butterfly put an arm around Posey and pulled her into a hug. Posey smiled and leaned in, but the angle caused Butterfly to squeak when Posey’s pony ear tickled her cheek. She pulled back and smiled upon noticing what tickled her. “You know,” she said, “with all the adorable ponies around everywhere, there’s something that I’ve been dying to do ever since we all got here, but I just couldn’t.” Posey looked at her. “What’s that?” Her ear twitched from being brushed against earlier. Butterfly’s eyes zeroed in on the ear and then dropped to her hands. “Well, i-if you don’t mind,” she said as Discord watched on, pleasantly surprised to be confused. “Of course not,” answered Posey. “We’re all friends here.” “In that case ….” Butterfly bit her lip, knelt down, and brought her slightly curled fingers up to rest just behind Posey’s ears—that spot she knew cats loved so much—and started scritching. “Oh. Ooh, that feels good,” Posey sighed. As Butterfly continued scritching and petting, Posey closed her eyes and leaned into the touch. “It really is nice being the pet.” Butterfly cooed softly when Posey rested her head against her chest, completely missing the green color flushing through Discord. She got bolder and passed a hand down Posey’s back while still scritching an ear. rrrrrrrrr “Aww,” Butterfly whispered. “Equestrian ponies have such a cute purr. Equines in my world can’t do that.” “Give me that,” gruffed Discord, plucking Posey away from Butterfly and holding her in his arms. “Get your own Fluttershy.” “Um, but I—?” Butterfly blinked at him. Ignoring her, Discord continued softly scritching and petting Posey in the same places Butterfly had. The green in him was replaced by a rosy red when Posey nuzzled against him. “I, um,” Discord sputtered at the action and took his claw away. Posey opened her eyes and looked up. Her eyes widened slightly for a moment before closing again. “It’s okay, Discord. That feels really good.” Discord froze solid, though Posey didn’t seem to notice any temperature drop accompanying his new icy texture. Butterfly watched on, noticing the two of them turning more and more red, despite the ice in Discord’s case. After a few seconds, she gasped, recalling the tamer books her Rarity had loaned her in the past and smiled, clasping her hands together in excitement. Discord noticed the expression and the ice instantly broke away. “Dinner!” he called out and a dining table and three chairs suddenly appeared, one growing up right under Butterfly, putting her into a seating position on it. Discord quickly, yet gently, placed Posey on another chair and teleported onto the third. “T-that is why I’m here after all! I brought dinner!” With a snap of his fingers an assortment of glowing napkins flew in, dancing and folding themselves into various shapes to the tune sung by a row of singing teabags. “Oh! Y-you brought the ginseng,” said a red-faced Posey after clearing her throat. Various tableware, utensils, pottery, covered trays, dancing candles, and other ornaments either popped into existence or flew in from parts unknown to reside on their table. Three of the ginseng bags dropped themselves off in teacups by the three diners while the rest circled around the table for ambiance. Butterfly noticed Discord and Posey avoiding looking at each other through their blushes. She tapped the teabag in her cup to get its attention then pointed at the other diners. It followed her finger, gasped happily, and rallied together with the other teabags, taking up strategic, serenading positions around Posey and Discord. The blushes grew, but it wasn’t until the ginseng choir floated into the shape of a heart that Discord quickly snapped his fingers and replaced the ginseng with green tea instead. Silence. Posey retreated behind her mane. Discord inspected the butter tray … from inside it. Even the candles had stopped their dancing. The pepper grinder sneezed. “Bless you,” Butterfly returned. The grinder bowed in thanks and silence returned. With the adventure seemingly over, and romance a non-starter, a slight, disappointed frown formed on Butterfly’s face with a sigh. Posey looked over, noting the expression and braved a glance at the tiny Discord who had just finished appraising the butter tray’s flavor. “Um …, Discord?” “Yes?” Discord politely asked, the yellow of the butter tray around him failing to hide the blush. Posey nodded toward Butterfly. “Could we make dinner a little more fun?” He turned and saw the now hopeful smile on Butterfly’s face. “I think something could be arranged.” With a snap of his fingers, he was full-sized and in his seat again and the whole dinette set was floating upside down over Posey’s garden. Butterfly looked all around, seeing the table, chairs, dessert cart, and various other pieces more or less keeping together then watched Discord pour Posey a cup of tea with the liquid flowing up into the cup. She looked at Posey, got a smile in return, and they gave a little cheer. ““Yay.”” *** *** *** *** *** *** “—oooooowwaaaaaa—oof!” “Fluttershy!” cheered Pinkie, rushing over to pick up her dizzy friend from the stack of yoga mats she landed on. Butterfly’s eyes were still spinning when Pinkie pulled her into a slightly more gentle than rib-crushing hug. “Shindy?” she croaked out. “It’s Pinkie Pie now! We’re back home! We even have hands again!” Pinkie let go and Fluttershy stumbled back a step until her hands were grabbed and shook by Pinkie’s. “See? So much easier to bake with! Though I was getting the hang of hooves at the end there.” Fluttershy smiled. “I know what you mean, but I’ve actually had hands for the past few days.” “In Equestria? Really? How?” “Discord turned me back into a humane when I met him.” “Oh wow! Did you get to pet any ponies? Scritch any ears?  Braid any tails?” “Oh, I did,” Fluttershy laughed. “They’re so cute I couldn’t help it.” “Eeeeeeeeee! I know, I know,” Pinkie hopped in place. Fluttershy turned around and sighed, giving the base of the Wondercolt statue a little wave. “Bye Posey. Bye Discord.” “Aww. I know how you feel. I hope to see them all again soon, though I think I’d like it better if they came here next time.” Pinkie scratched her head. “Brain still itches sometimes.” Pinkie then picked up the yoga mats and turned toward Canterlot High. “Come on! The others are all inside for your ‘Welcome Home’ party! Calling them ‘Just Because’ parties got boring. I wanted longer titles, but everyone said it was ‘Tee-Em-Eye’ so we compromised.” With a giggle, Fluttershy followed Pinkie to the school, holding her new correspondence journal. She thought to herself that there would be plenty of adventures—she gave Pinkie a glance—and chaos, no matter which world she was on. *** *** *** Watching the girls enter the school from a short distance away was a tall man. Black hair, white goatee, white eyebrows, yellow eyes with red pupils, and gray skin showing anywhere his mismatched shoes and business suit of a different color for every limb did not cover. “This is the world Starswirl sent the sirens to? That old fool got the wrong dimension entirely!" The man grumbled. "No wonder there’s been so much trouble. Humanes indeed. Jean-Luc would never have made such a mistake.” He tossed a yellow ping-pong ball in a bush near the school and began walking toward the Wondercolt statue. “I’ll have to keep an eye on this place,” he said as the ball blinked, revealing a red pupil. "Hopefully it was just the sirens and not all the rest." He vanished before entering the portal. | Here's an alternate/extended version of Discord's self-introduction scene