It was another peaceful day in Equestria. Or it would have been were it not for Twilight and a couple of royal guards having to arrest a certain unicorn that liked to proclaim herself as great and powerful. She could forgive her for the Ursa Minor incident since it wasn’t her fault. She could forgive her for enslaving all of Ponyville because the Alicorn Amulet corrupted her. But what she could not forgive was that Trixie allowed some of the most ravenous paper-eating bookworms to escape from Tartarus. It was a miracle that a quarter of the books in the Golden Oaks Library managed to survive the onslaught. And how did she know Trixie was responsible? Because she found the most condemning evidence somewhere within the Everfree Forest. She and the unicorn guards behind her carried a big blue squeaky ball covered in the saliva of one Cerberus as they made their way to Trixie’s trailer, which Twilight banged the door three times as soon as they had reached their destination.
“No, daddy,” Trixie moaned in a half-dazed state, “I don’t wanna go to Magic Kindergarten today.”
Twilight banged the door of Trixie’s trailer three more times, each one louder than the last.
“Okay, I’m up!” Trixie yelled.
The door opened and everypony outside was greeted by the sudden setting off of fireworks. Another thing Twilight would have a word with Trixie about. The azure unicorn galloped out into the open and bowed.
“The Great and Powerful Trrrixie welcomes you to her humble abode!”
As Twilight cleared her throat, Trixie looked up at her sudden visitor.
“Oh, it’s you,” Trixie said, “I congratulate you on your promotion.”
Twilight and the guards behind her looked at Trixie unamused.
“Do you want me to entertain your subjects?” Trixie inquired, “I accept only bits or peanut butter crackers.”
“I believe this is yours,” Twilight said as she and the guards levitated the ball towards Trixie.
Trixie scoffed, “That could be anypony’s extra-large squeaky ball.
Twilight and the guards moved the ball around to reveal smudged mouth-writing that read ‘Property of the Great and Powerful Trixie’.
“Uh…” Trixie said as she looked at the incriminating ball, “I was framed?”
The Great and Powerful Trixie stumbled through the rocky pathway of Celestia-knows-where, levitating a pint of cider and a big blue ball that she had used once or twice as a prop in her magic shows. No matter how much cider she drank, that image of Twilight one-upping her by pacifying the Ursa Minor was still burnt into her memory. If it weren’t for her, she wouldn’t have been a laughing stock. She wouldn’t be booed and assaulted with rotten vegetables. She wouldn’t have spent all of her bits on cider to drown her sorrows in.
“Curse that...Twiright Shparkle!” Trixie drunkenly exclaimed, “She thinks that just because she defeated an Ursa Minor that she is greater and more powerful than I! She will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trrrix-ah!”
Trixie immediately fell over and rolled down the rocky steps before hitting a door, with the ball following suit and smacking right into her. Whatever was left of her cider spilt onto the ground, something Trixie took note of when she was rubbing the back of her head.
“Well that’s just perfect!” she shouted in a sardonic fashion.
She looked up at the door. The seal had a crack from where Trixie smashed into it. Out of curiosity, she nudged the door open to see what was inside. And out of nowhere came a big three-headed dog. Trixie screamed before using the big blue ball as a shield. Much to her surprise, she wasn’t torn to pieces. Rather, the three-headed dog was mesmerized by her big ball.
“Do you want the ball?” Trixie asked as she squeezed the ball with her magic.
The three-headed dog got more excited as Trixie kept squeezing and shaking the ball with her magic.
“Go fetch!” Trixie said as she flung the ball into parts unknown.
With the dog out of the picture, Trixie staggered her way inside. She saw dozens of beasts and abominations trapped in cages, many of which piled onto each other. Perhaps it was the booze but Trixie felt even more confident in herself than usual, which was no easy feat because she was always confident even when sober.
“Ha ha ha,” Trixie laughed haughtily, “The Great and Powerful Trrixie can easily vanquish you all with one of her hooves tied behind her back! I would use all of my greatest and most powerful spells to send you back to the deepest pits from whence you came. I would use a bit of this,”
Trixie drunkenly discharged a blast of magic into one of the cages, which ricocheted off one of the bars and hit the lock on another cage.
“And that!” Trixie belted out as she shot another blast of magic, “and some of this too!”
Trixie spun around, whisked away by her grandiose fantasies of being the most powerful unicorn in Equestria, with several bolts of magic uncontrollably shot out. Feeling dizzy, she landed flat on her flank, with one more shot of magic heading straight for the ceiling. Miraculously, the resulting chunk of debris missed Trixie by an inch.
“That will show them all,” Trixie said loudly to herself, “Let’s see who’s laughing when I have vanquished all of these…”
Trixie looked up at all the suddenly-free prisoners. There were dents in all the cages and broken locks everywhere. Suddenly, that job offer to work at a rock farm sounded very appealing.
“So the Drunk and Judgement-Impaired Trixie wandered into Tartarus one night and released all the inmates by accident,” Trixie said defensively, “It could happen to anypony. I wouldn’t be surprised if one of your friends had broken out the vilest fiends in recent Equestrian history at some point in their lives.”
“I doubt that,” Twilight said.
“So what happens now?” Trixie asked, “ Are you going to throw the Humble and Apologetic Trixie into Tartarus as well? Despite her efforts to make up for the Alicorn Amulet.”
“Nope,” Twilight replied, “I’m sentencing you to community service.”
“Oh…” Trixie stared in surprise, “Well, that’s not so bad.”
“Are you sure?” one of the guards asked as he pointed up at the manticore flying in the sky with a glass object in its mouth and a very hairy red unicorn holding onto it for dear life.
“Little help, please?!” the unicorn shouted, “This guy took my bong!”
Trixie just stared at the manticore, “You want me to capture that manticore?”
“No,” Twilight replied, “I want you to help me capture every single escapee from Tartarus.”
Trixie’s eyes widened in shock, “What?!”
“You got yourself into this mess, Trixie. You get yourself out.”