The Bottom Shelf

by JakeAndDollars


The Cutting Room Floor: Outtakes 5

The Cutting Room Floor: Outtakes 5

Welcome all to another freshly over-baked batch of outtakes! A collection of short clips lovingly handpicked by Dollars himself detailing all of our greatest failures on set, exposing the emotional vulnerabilities of your favorite cast members and their most embarrassing moments.

Enjoy!

Infinity’s End: Times Gone By

Infinity’s End: TGB master reel:
Location: Voice Recording Booth #3
Recording intro narrative: Take #1

“Ahhhhhhh whhhoooooo lllllaaaaaaa kkkrrrraammmpus. Okay let’s see here…”

Papers ruffling. Chair scraping on floor. Microphone being tapped a few times.

“Stories have to be told; stories, need words. Without words, they grow pale, sicken, and die. When they die, we cannot remember who they were about, or why they were so important as to merit becoming stories at all. They become lost and we are the lesser for it. Stories are where memories go when they are forgotten and anyone worthy of remembrance, deserves to have their stories told. For we are all naught but stories, in the end.”

“Er, how was that…?”

“Totally nailed it mate that was great, but, next time could you please wait until you get the green light? The master recorders are still off…”

“Ah son of a…”

Infinity’s End: TGB master reel
Location: Sound Stage #5
Scene #2: Griffon tower climb: Take #1

“Alright everyone, in three, two, one. Marker!”

Blackened, shapeless, concealed away in the darkness brought by the raging storm, a dozen cloaked figures continued a perilous climb. They scaled the mighty frozen jewel with neither aid of rope nor tackle, their mere physical prowess and mental fortitude being all that was required.

These twelve, masters of combat and finest warriors their lands had left to offer, a thousand strides they had ascended, yet not even one dared falter. A misstep from here, would surely spell doom to any unfortunate enough to take it. Still they persisted, their final goal within sight, a single glowing orifice carved into the side of the grand structure.

At such length by then was the group's exposure to the elements, fur clumped together in solid lumps under cloak and armor, hampering motion and adding to the ever growing risk. Feathers lay flat along their wings and chests, frozen into unmoving layers that bound already useless wings. Wings that would have been helpless against the torrent of icy winds howling around the spire.

It was of no avail, even as the world itself seemed against their presence here. For these twelve were Griffons, proud warriors of the mountain realms in the far distant east. An entire lifetime spent training through trial and experience had hardened each of them against the harshest punishments nature could hurl their way. The cold waas little more than a mild discomfort, serving only to further motivate the mind in its efforts to will the flesh.

Steadily they climbed, claw and talon digging into any hold no matter how miniscule. They would not be denied this, not on the lives of their flocks would this honor be kept from them. The call had sounded, and they had answered. The great lords of old had stirred, waking, clawing back the shroud time had draped over them, ready to take up the task unfinished.

Drawing nearer the group slowed their pace, a dim glow penetrating the howling blizzard to reveal a shallow balcony, the only discernible external feature to be found. At this height, or otherwise.

With a near imperceptible motion the leader signaled a stop, a subtle flick from his tail was all the information the warriors needed. In a silent flurry they took up a readying formation, six Griffons to a side and with bated breath, they drew their weapons and waited. They waited for the order to attack…

‘Giggling…’

“CUUUT!!!”

Two of the Griffon extras had pulled their ‘weapons’ from beneath their robes only to find a whisk and a soup ladle respectively and immediately set about mock sword fighting each other, inadvertently knocking a third member of the group off the ledge. The fallen Griffon sighed, face palming as he hung limply in his safety harness.

“You lot do realize it takes a solid hour to reset all this effects equipment, yeah?”

“Says the Director who insisted on as many practical effects as possible…” Called the still hanging Griffon, slowly spinning in place…

Infinity’s End: TGB master reel
Location: Sound Stage #1
Scene #5 Heartfelt talk: Take #6

“Then why do we not intervene? Surely the Knights could turn the tides if properly placed?” Sombra asked, his tone seeking more from the older pony, the burning impatience of youth betraying him. “We could bring about a swift end to this conflict.”

“Perhaps many generations past, my pupil,” Amethyst said, cinching tighter the heavy cloak resting over his own shoulders. The ice gathering in his mane caused the old stallion some discomfort. “Presently, there are too few of us Knights left standing. To involve ourselves now would be to seek naught but death and ruin. No, our place is here, at the side of the Heart. To keep it and the secrets it carries safe.”

“I grow weary of this waiting,” Sombra complained with an annoyed huff. He then found himself gazing out into the angry night once more, an annoyed scowl set firmly upon his face. “It makes me feel so, useless.”

Some number of minutes passed, the silence interrupted by nothing but the gusting wind, or the ruffling of their robes as the fabric rippled violently with the gusts. It hung in the air, thick and palpable as a stone wall, neither pony having found the right words to continue.

Amethyst after a time was first to break the spell, humming a faint tune before turning to his charge…

Hmm hm hmm hhm hmmm hm m hmmh mm hmmmm “Unless of course that horse is the famous Mr Edd…” Amethyst blinked for a moment, an eyebrow rising. “Sorry, had that stuck in my head all afternoon…”

“Well did you get it all out, I don’t know how many more times I can take these lines seriously…”

“No I’m good now, can we just, go back to markers and run this out?”

“I think we’re gonna need a couple more…” ‘Snickers.’

“No I’m good, really, stop grinning Lens Cap!”

Infinity’s End: TGB master reel
Location: Sound Stage #1
Scene #5 Heartfelt talk: Take #9

“Then why do we not intervene? Surely the Knights could turn the tides if properly placed?” Sombra asked, his tone seeking more from the older pony, the burning impatience of youth betraying him. “We could bring about a swift end to this conflict.”

“Perhaps many generations past, my pupil,” Amethyst said, cinching tighter the heavy cloak resting over his own shoulders. The ice gathering in his mane caused the old stallion some discomfort. “Presently, there are too few of us Knights left standing. To involve ourselves now would be to seek naught but death and ruin. No, our place is here, at the side of the Heart. To keep it and the simps it carries safe. Uh… What?”

Everyone is giggling and groaning…

“What? What did I say?”

Sombra’ tosses his script and heads for the door…

“I’ll be outside at the craft services table…”


Infinity’s End: TGB Master reel
Location: On location site 17: Canterlot Castle
Scene # 32 Tower Infiltration: Take #2

‘Tillook is getting set up in his stunt jump assistance rigging, not looking very sure of the situation…’

“And you’re absolutely sure you’ve fixed the problem this time…?”

“Eh, yup, torque down the hold bolts and spread out the pitch on the return pulleys. Y’all should go up smoother’n a greased pig in a corn chute, yup.”

“Uh, Scruffy, was that English or did you just have another stroke…?”

Scruffy, the janitor, just shrugs and walks away after giving the director a thumbs up.

“Alright everyone, stand by, ready, and action!!”

Camera three begins rolling and then starts to move along its track, following Tillook as he scurries across the castle courtyard…

Once behind the fountain and relatively safe from prying eyes Tillook leaned his back against the decorative little water feature, craning his neck up to look at a window a few stories above. Conveniently enough, it was open, just waiting for him.

It was not an ideal route, though the speed of it made for a tempting offer. Rolling his shoulders Tillook stepped towards the wall, having made up his mind. The rewards outweighed the potential risk of being spotted. There simply was not time for him to properly dupe every pony he came across.

Studying the wall for a moment Tillook widened his stance, memorizing every little detail about the magically carved marble. Taking a deep breath he kicked off the ground, leaping over half the distance before reaching out and gripping a meager- SMACK!!

Everyone on set cringes as, for the second time, Tillook’s rigging smashes him face first into the wall…

The exit door bursts open.

“Somebody grab an extinguisher quick!! The craft services table is on fire!!”


Infinity’s End: TGB Master reel
Location: On location site 17: Canterlot Castle
Scene # 35 Intentions revealed: Take #1

Tillook spared the queen one last look, his gaze going dark with a rage few possessed and fewer still could hope to match. When the time came, which was inevitable to happen, he would release it upon this world and watch with indifference as it burned. He had survived too much, lost too much and given too much. All of that and more, for what, so that these creatures might know life?

He stared at Aeterna, for how long was a mystery, though he was certain that it was longer than he had to give. A part of him wanted to wake her, to tell her of the things to come so that he might see her face, to watch the turmoil spread. It was little more than a dark fantasy of his, having given up on a happy ending long ago, his only motivation now was to see his plan through. To whatever end it brought him.

Tillook had nothing else; he was reminded of that every time he so much as looked at a pony. His fists clenched tight, the knuckles going white as he stood there, staring at one of the keystones to his downfall. He wished he could still truly feel his hate, the pure essence of his emotions locked away with everything else that had made him unstoppable in the past.

The air grew colder around him as he tried to remember what it had felt like, small whispers of things floated around his consciousness. Traces of anger, sadness, regret, and for the briefest of moments, joy. He focused on these little snippets of his old self, remembering why he started down this path, and why they would pay.

Tillook knew his time was coming, had felt it in the very bonds of reality around him as they strained to continue this doomed cycle. He knew even as he watched Aeterna stir and begin to rouse that the Alicorn would meet her undoing soon enough and that all he would need to do, was wait. So as Aeterna’s head rose and her lids began to flutter, Tillook decided that patience would continue to steer his course and with a final glance at the foals he was gone…

Aeterna opened her eyes, her heart thudding in her chest as she awoke suddenly, unaware of what had roused her. Her blood was cold with fear, her hide quivering as she quickly glanced about the room-

Instead of being gone Tillook is still trying to get the window shutter open, fidgeting with the lock and muttering curses under his breath. After a moment he realizes the camera is still rolling and grins nervously while leaning against the shutter, before someone on the outside pulls it open and he falls out of frame…

Infinity’s End: TGB Master Reel
Location: JakeAndDollars Studios, Dollars office
Carefully stolen appropriated security video footage…

Current time: 2:37 am
Alarm for work set at: 4:30 am

Dollars slowly pushes his mouse forwards slightly before left clicking, the lethargic motions opening his email. After clipping the freshly minted document to the new message and adding some very secretive contact information the armored O.D.S.T. pressed send, sighing contentedly when the cheery little ‘sent’ notification popped up.

He then promptly passed out and face planted on his livhojkpgkmkm0kmpgmpgumkpomkpuiomhkmlhm,pyjokm;bjmkpokmojkjlkljklkllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

~Fin

There were a couple of bonus clips documenting a rash of pranks around the office, but Dollars deleted them. It was mostly just him sitting on a whoopee cushion over and over again…