It was well past dusk by the time we got to New Appleloosa. I trotted up to the gate and cleared my throat, “Hey, Snaggletooth, that you?” I called up to the guard.
“Huh?” the guard called back, having been woken up while sleeping on the job. Typical Snaggletooth. “Who?” The sniper rifle moved to get a look at Abide and I, “Jot? Arn't y'all ayy convicted murderuurr aw somethin'?”
Snag was at one point my assistant. E had taken pity on him and offered him a job. Well after he applied specifically to be my assistant over 347 times. Yes, you are correct in assuming he wanted to get close to me. This was before he realized I had a kid and he "Don't care faw younguns." Somehow he had missed that about me even though he was 'my biggest fan'. So during my tenure as ghost writer for Ditzy, he became involved with a mare in town and opted to stay when I left back to Junction City. We’d stayed in touch. Ironically, he was now the expecting father of twins.
“Convicted and executed.” I boasted, before casting a glance at Abide. Abide was still not happy about me cheating death. His eyes burned with hatred, but the intensity of the flames had waned, “Didn’t stick.” I finished.
“Whel then,” Snaggletooth called back, “Welcome bak ta New Appleloosa! Try nahwt ta kill naw pony.”
The gate squealed and began to open. Before it swung completely open I darted in, much to Abide’s chagrin. I just had to see Ditzy. Not only to get a new S & R edition, but to say hi and catch up. It had been a little over three years since we had time to talk. The newly undead slavers wouldn't wake back up for a few hours, I had time.
I made a beeline for Absolutely Everything. For those not in the know, Absolutely Everything is the best trading outpost in the wastes. Even compared to bigger trade centers like Megamart or Tenpony Tower. Though my admiration for the author of the Wasteland Survival Guide might make me a bit biased.
I burst through the door startling a New Appleloosian mare and her colt; more from my obvious fatal wound than my sudden appearance. She quickly ushered her colt out of the shop abandoning the box of sugar apple bombs and box of buckshot they were thinking of purchasing. I scanned the train engine, but didn’t see any sign of the ghoul pegasus. I did see a lavender mare with a silver mane, the adoptive daughter of Ditzy, Silver Bell.
I slumped. It looked like Ditzy was out either making deliveries or getting irradiated water for ghouls or something. I admit the reason escapes me at the moment. The lavender mare noticed me and trotted over. A chime of bells rang as her horn lit in excitement. Behind me the door opened and a heavily panting Abide entered. What did he think I was gonna go on a killing spree with my bare hooves? I mean I could, but I hardly had a reason to.
“Jib-Jot!” She greeted, and I bristled at the nickname. At least she didn’t call me Jibbly. “What brings you to Absolutely Everything today?”
“I,” I hesitated, if I could still blush, I would have been bright red, “I was hoping to see Ditzy.”
“She’ll be back tomorrow.” She replied, before she smirked, “Fixing to be rejected again?”
“I, um, no. That’s not it.” I stammered.
“I miss something?” Abide asked in confusion from behind me.
“Ooooh, who's this?” Silver asked cheerily, addressing the new pony.
“Abide,” Abide provided, “former Junction City Police Chief.”
“Ah, ok. Your friend here,” Silver explained, motioning to me, “has a huge crush on my mom, Ditzy.”
I slumped to the floor and buried my face in my hooves. It was true, I DID have a crush on Ditzy Doo. I’m no fillyfooler, but there was something about the ghoul author I couldn’t help but love. Too bad she was very, very taken. A Canterlot ghoul, named Lionheart, who has a tendency to yell a lot. He was part of the reason I hadn’t seen Ditzy in three years. I’d grown more infatuated with her while I helped write the new guides. I’d stupidly asked if they’d be open to a threesome after a night of drinking to celebrate completing the books. Ditzy let me down easily saying – well writing – ‘We’re just friends.’ Lionheart had nearly busted my eardrums in his anger. To that end I’d mostly interacted with Silver since then.
“HAD!” I shouted, poorly hiding my embarrassment even if I couldn’t blush, “I had a crush on her. I don’t anymore.”
“Sure you don’t.” Silver purred, trying not to look at my fatal wound, “So the DJ wasn’t lying.”
Glad for the change of subject, I got back to my hooves. My glued leg creaked as I did. Silver levitated over an old black fedora with a red stripe on it. There was even a faded white press badge tucked beneath the cloth of the stripe.
“On the house.” Silver said, embodying the generosity of her adoptive mother, as she dropped the hat on my head. My horn slipping through a hole purposely cut in the front of the hat. The bullet hole in my forehead covered without ripping the hat brim again.
A bit tacky, but I suppose it will do. “Thank you.” I muttered, pointing to Abide, “He has some things to trade, I’ll secure us a room.”
At that I grabbed a new S & R edition from the display and left – don’t worry all Guides are free. I didn’t want to have Silver Belle bring up my crush again...at least while I was in the shop.
*** *** ***
30 minutes later I was sitting in the saloon staring into a half empty apple whisky. The other half soaked my jacket or was on the floor in a pathetic puddle. Not having guts sucked because I couldn’t get drunk anymore. It may have been because I was clinically dead, but I preferred to blame my lack of internal organs.
A pony trotted up behind me. I didn’t look, I knew it was Abide. He dropped a combat knife on the counter knocking over the rest of my drink. Based on the beat up handle I could tell it was the same combat knife I’d picked off that slaver. Though it was in a surprisingly clean camo sheath able to be strapped to a leg. I lifted it in my magic and removed it from the sheath. It had also been cleaned and sharpened.
“I still don’t trust you with guns.” he stated, “But you saved my life when you didn’t have to and most knife wounds aren't fatal.”
“Unless I slit your throat.” I joked, but I heard him take a tentative step back. I turned to face him and re-sheathed the knife, “I’m not going to, though. Thank you. Been meaning to work on my close combat skills.”
“It is also the payment for borrowing your book.” He added.
I laughed, “Didn’t think you’d actually pay the toll.”
“Well I did.” he sighed, “If we are going to keep traveling together, I’ll need to give you a little trust.”
I sighed and levitated the bottle of apple whiskey to my lips and sipped the last few drops to mask my smile. Abide wasn’t that bad once you got to know him. I didn't consider him a friend yet, but at most he was a contact. On the same level as Mare-do-well without the history she and I shared.
*** *** ***
I frowned and looked at the ceiling. I wasn't able to sleep. I'd been unable to sleep for the past few days of travel, but felt in unimportant to bring up. The only rest I’d gotten recently was the night before my execution, the period of time following my execution – if you could call the afterlife sleep – and the unknown amount of time after being re-killed by those slavers. Whomever coined the phrase ‘I’ll sleep when I’m dead’ clearly hadn't died before! Next to me in the other bed was Abide, snoring like a ripper. That was another reason I wasn't able to sleep.
Curious of my unwanted companion, I levitated over his saddlebags. Unlike the past few nights, he was not protectively using them as a pillow. Locked? So much for trust. I fished out a bobby pin and screwdriver from my own supplies to pick the easy lock. Free of any hinderance I sifted through the contents with my pipbuck, ignoring the tutiorial about innovatory management. Among his possessions was a memory orb. Odd? Why would he have a memory orb?
I pulled it out, careful to wrap around it with my magic and not focus on it directly. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t unique for a memory orb. Where most memory orbs glow a soft white, few glow different colors. If the story of Security is true, honestly some parts are very far fetched – Really going to the moon? As if! – Then there are some memory orbs out there that glow yellow to signify the memories of a pony named Goldenbleed or something else straight out of an old Equestrian nobility naming book. The memory orb in Abide's bag was glowing red. The soft crimson matching the color of my magic making it look like a glowing ball of blood.
Only one way to find out why he has it, might be a good way to pass the time. So I reached out with my new crimson magic and made contact with the orb. The rickety old boxcar converted to an inn faded away.
~~ooOO~~OOoo~~
I was…..me? This was one of my own memories? I was wearing what I always wore: my trusty wool jacket. I brushed my mane with an old brush that was only slightly bent before exiting my bathroom, levitating my fedora onto my head as I did. I trotted through my bedroom, out the door, and down the stairs.
Boy is it odd being on a ride like this as myself. I moved into the den. A forest green alicorn with a blue and purple mane was entertaining my daughter with an old toy sky chariot. I recognized the mare as Triple E’s wife, Compass Rose. She writes the travel section of the Tribune.
“Thank you for watching Noted, Compass.” I felt myself say.
“It isn’t a bother.” she replied in my mind, a process that still weirds me out even as a memory, but Compass isn't comfortable using her vocal cords as she didn't for many years under that Goddess thing. “I love children, so I don’t mind watching her.”
“Still, thank you.” I replied, kneeling to kiss Noted on the forehead.
“Mom!” she squealed, “gross!”
“I’ve been so worried since Bread’s disappearance.” I continued, “I feel more comfortable going out with an alicorn watching her.”
“I will protect her with my life.” she answered in my mind.
“And make sure nopony gets into the study.” I felt myself say, feeling the paranoia I’d felt back then, as my eyes darted around nervously. She simply nodded and went back to entertaining Noted.
There were no more words as I left my small Junction City home for the last time. I knew where I was going: R7. I knew what I was doing: chasing down a lead. There was a growing feeling of dread as I watched, I knew what was going to happen next. I regretted viewing the orb. Curse my curiosity! I lived this memory first hoof and I did not want to see it again, but there is no abort button while watching a memory. I was going to live through the worst day of my life, again, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
I was powerless as the memory blurred. So this was an edited memory orb? The memory re-coalesced at R7. My lead had not panned out and I was getting drunk. Either the contact had panicked and didn’t show or Coriander had gotten to them first. The realization hit me like a bag of bricks. Something I’d only have realized reviewing the memory as an outsider. There was no contact, Coriander had set me up. Get me out of the house so she could burn it down.
The memory blurred as I got up to leave. Why didn’t it show more of the bar? Or the others I stopped in after? I'm a drunk, sue me. It reformed as I was nearing my house. I was pleasantly drunk and humming a song to myself. The me of the memory sniffed the air. I smelled smoke. The smell snapped me out of my drunken stupor. Memories in memory orbs didn’t record thoughts, but I knew what I was thinking: Noted!
I ran as fast and as coordinated as I could. I mentally ran along with myself. I wished I didn’t have to see what happened next. I got to my house and saw it and the house on either side ablaze. The feeble Junction City firefighters were trying to fight the fire. They had managed to stop it from spreading to anymore houses, but mine was a lost cause.
I saw Compass. She had burns all down her left side and was being fed a healing potion. But her coughing spilled more than half onto the dirt. I watched my past self run up to her.
“Compass! What happened?” I panted, slightly slurred, “Where’s Noted?”
“Jot, I’m so sorry.” she sobbed in actual spoken words, before breaking into a coughing fit, “I tried. I couldn’t stop them.”
I seized her in my magic, “Where. Is. Noted?!”
She pointed to the blaze with a wing and my heart stopped. I dropped her to the dirt and made my way towards the blaze.
“I tried. I’m so sorry.” Compass Rose called at me as I left her there in a crying, coughing heap.
A stallion stopped me a few feet from the fire. I could feel the intense heat from where I stood.
“Miss stay back!” he called as I kicked and bucked at him, tears forming in my eyes, “It's not safe.”
I honed my magic and teleported into the flames burning the remains of my living room. I had never been able to teleport before, but never underestimate what a mother is capable of when her child was in danger. The fact that the teleport singed my mane and tail was mute as the fire licked at them catching them on fire.
“Noted!” I screamed, coughing as I inhaled smoke, “Noted! Are you in here?”
I made it as far as the stairs, the smoke was slowly choking me. My hide burned. Finally I collapsed. The corners of my vision were going dark. That’s when I heard it. At the time I may have been too busy dying, but as an outsider I heard what sounded like voices on the second floor. A mare and a stallion. They were arguing, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying. I wanted to strain my ears to try to hear, but I was pulled out by the red magic of one of the firefighters. He barked something about how unsafe I was acting. Water was splash on me to put out the flames on my mane and tail as I was force fed a healing potion. Another odd thing, there were no unicorn firefighters near me once I'd been pulled from the flames. Who used magic to pull me out? The memory blurred again.
It coalesced during the day at the Junction City market. I felt my furrowed brow and my sore throat from smoke inhalation. My coat still smelled faintly of smoke. Tucked under the collar was my 10mm revolver. I saw Coriander and Abide shopping. Without hesitation I moved close to them.
“Ah, Miss Jot. What can–” Coriander began, but she cut off abruptly as I pulled out the gun and fired.
In moments the crowd reacted. I think somepony screamed. I felt a sharp, cold pain in my side. Lethargy hit my past self and they began to pass out. The last thing I saw was the hurt face of Abide, brain matter smeared in his mane. At that, the edited memory orb finally ended.
~~ooOO~~OOoo~~
When I came to, I saw the first few rays of the sun peaking over the horizon. Abide was still snoring, undisturbed by my insomnia and snooping. I didn’t have tears in my eyes even though I felt like I could cry for days. I guessed either I had run out of tears to cry over the loss of my daughter or being dead, no more tears formed. Either way in the absence of tears I got angry and threw the orb against the wall. It made a soft thud against the metal before rolling under Abide’s bed.
I was about to get up to retrieve it when another thud hit the wall. This time it was accompanied by an explosion that knocked the train car room off the one it was welded too. The bed fell atop me and Abide was startled awake by the fall. I heard the other sounds of fighting outside in the town. New Appleloosa was under attack.
Abide and I grabbed our things and scrambled out the window, since the door was blocked by the ground. Who was attacking the town? As I jumped out the window I got my answer: A hellhound who was oozing gore from his right side, a zebra with her head facing backwards, and a bunch of other ponies who looked like they should be dead were facing off with the ill-prepared town guard.
“No matter the gravity of the wound, even those shot in the head have been gifted with the inability to die. Though this news is a double edged sword. Raiders take more to go down, if at all, and even then they will not be dead.” The DJ had said.
I’d been so caught up with my crush on Ditzy I never told Snaggletooth my warning!
A hard smack to my head from Abide, that flared up the pain in my head wound, snapped my thoughts back to the attack at hoof. “Jot!” He shouted, “Snap out of it!”
I shook my head, ignoring the pain as it returned to its ever present dull sting. “Right, right...” I trailed off still in shock, I barely noticed he called me by the correct name.
I reached for my combat knife, removing it from its sheath, and focused on my EFS. There were about 18 attackers in range of my EFS. I noticed there were more than just the ones I’d killed at the camp. In my direct vision I saw the half-a-hellhound, the back necked zebra, and a minotaur that looked as if he’d been crushed to death wielding a missile launcher.
The crushed minotaur readied his next shot. I tackled Abide as the missile fired. It impacted the ground where we had been standing sending dirt, mud, heat and shrapnel in its wake. We rolled for a bit and landed in the lobby of the Railroad Inn we’d been staying in.
“Th-thanks.” Abide muttered, getting up and dusting himself off.
He retrieved a semi-automatic assault rifle from his bag, shooting me a glare at the picked lock. I shrugged and he pointed it out the door, firing at the hellhound. I rolled my eyes. He clearly knew nothing about dealing with hellhounds.
“Aim for the missing side, moron. If you hit the injury that killed them, they go down as if dead for a while.” I informed him.
“Are you sure?” He asked, shifting his aim.
“Trust me.” I pleaded.
Abide looked over at me, contemplating my request. His eyes told me he did not trust me. “I suppose you have the most experience on the matter.” he relented, opening fire.
Goddesses, he is worse with semi-automatic guns than he was with my former pistol. I thought as his shots went wide, but it provided enough of a distraction for me to get in close with my knife. Sticking the freshly sharpened blade where the hellhound’s right hip had been and cut up towards his shoulder. I did get a claw swipe to my side and more than a few bullets from Abide for my efforts, but as predicted the hellhound fell still. For good measure, I stuck the blood red knife into his remaining eye and twisted. Living beyond death is one thing, but you still need eyes to see.
“Is he dead?” Abide asked in the silence that followed.
“For now.” I answered flatly, “No telling how quick they come back subsequent times.”
I turned back to Abide. This was the second time in as many days, I’d seen Abide visibly shaken. Comparing him to a stable pony was apt. Junction City is one of the safest settlements in the NCR – quite possibly the whole of the Equestrian Wasteland. It has a police force simply to take the role away from the NCR military. The most it has to deal with is petty theft, maybe a B&E. It is the reason my blatant murder of Congresswoman Coriander was so shocking. Not that other murders haven’t happened, but nothing as public as mine was. So if seeing his lover’s brains blown out in front of him wasn’t his wakeup call to the horrors of the wasteland, getting captured by slavers and being attacked by zombie-like bodies a day later has definitely done that. Now it was my turn to slap him.
SLAP! “Buck up lawboy! This ain’t Ghoul Street, Junction City.” I shouted, trying to break his shell shock, “This is the Wasteland. Wake up, inaction gets you or others killed.”
“I–I know,” he stammered.
“You are pretty shit with a gun all things considered, so stay low and try to get ponies out of the line of fire.” I ordered, before relaxing my expression, “And don’t die. Unlife ain't all it's cracked up to be.”
“I think I can do that, same,” he said, slinging the semi-automatic over his shoulder and running out the door.
I wanted to comment on how I was already dead, but the moment had past and I had undead slavers to re-kill.
*** *** ***
When I got to Absolutely Everything, it was on fire. While the metal engine was not good kindling, the merchandise sold at the trading post – most notably the copious copies of the Wasteland Survival Guide – were far more flammable.
My reason for heading to the store was in pursuit of the Back Headed Zebra. When I had re-killed the hellhound, the zebra was nearby. The Minotaur was a bigger threat, but he had moved on to destroy another section of town by the time I'd taken down the hellhound. The zebra recognized me and fled. I lost them in the chase, but upon seeing the shop ablaze my objective changed to making sure Silver Belle was ok. I could never face Ditzy if she ended up like me.
Instinctively, I held my breath and shook off flashbacks to the last fire I’d run headlong into. I peered through the thick, back smoke, relying on my EFS to search for my – Acquaintance? Contact? Pony I know? Let's go with Contact. I was relying on my EFS to find my contact. I was only reading two life forms. One blue, one red.
“Come out lass, ya can’t hide fawevuurr.” A very rough voice called out somewhere in the back room. I figured he must be a ghoul, but they could also have been killed by something that damaged the voice box. I did drop one of the slavers last night by slitting their throat.
Following the sound I bucked down the door to the back room. Turning to the sound I looked into the eyes of the pony I’d electrocuted while he was peeing. Yep, death by slit throat. He was so surprised by my entrance I was able to turn the slit on his throat from single line to an ‘X’ before he could bring his double barrel shotgun to bear. True to form, he dropped again. His body was reminded of the first killing blow I’d inflicted. To be sure, I pushed his limp corpse into the burning pantry. The already singed fur quickly catching alight. If he did get back up after that, a crispy critter is much easier to take down.
“Silver Belle!” I shouted, “Where are you? It is safe to come out!”
“Jib-Jot?” She called horsely, and I scanned the smoke filled room with my EFS. Her blip was under the bed. good she still has an EFS marker.
I worried when she didn't say more, but after what felt like ages she inched out, coughing heavily from smoke inhalation. Seeing her I rushed to her aid, putting my knife away, and using my magic to assist in walking her out of the fire.
“You are not dying on my watch.” I told her, as we left the shop the way I'd entered and right into the backwards head Zebra. Fuck! She had been leading me into a trap!
“Time for our rematch. One damned soul to another.” She challenged.
I took a step back towards the inferno of Absolutely Everything. With Silver using me as support, I couldn’t fight the zebra. I had no way of knowing how having a backwards head affected her combat skills. How the fuck do I re-kill her? I got lucky last time snapping her neck!
My thoughts were interrupted as a sniper’s bullet turned the zebra’s head to red jelly. Thank the goddess for Snaggletooth.
I looked up at the unicorn stallion as he slid down a firepony pole from his home perched on the wall of New Appaloosa. His aqua mane flowed in the wind as he landed in the dirt, adding more filth to his muddled green coat. Without missing a beat he galloped over to me and offered a healing potion. At my 'really?' look, he sheepishly helped feed it to Silver Belle.
“Ay were a-tryin' ta hit that there damned griff, when ay done saw that there zeeb out in the open.” He beamed.
“Snag, you're taken and I’m not interested.” I joked, “Thank you, though.”
“Nothin' ta it, Jot.” he grinned.
I grimaced at his set of summer teeth – you know, some are green, some are black, some are missing? Ok, ok, Snag can slap me for that one later.
“You should get back to the fight, I’ll be fine from here.” I told him, helping Silver back to her hooves. The potion had helped her, but she was still weak. Out in the open we were sitting ducks.
“Raheet-o,” Snag began as I saw a disintegration bolt strike him in the flank. I was frozen in horror as his body glowed pink. His goofy grin frozen in time as he began to fall away to a pile of dust. Snag!
All attempts to help Silver were abandoned as I collapsed to the ground. I used an empty sparkle cola bottle to try to scoop up his remains before they blew away. At that moment, I would have done anything to bring back my friend. Yes, I know I dance around it normally, but lecherousness aside, while he was my assistant, we’d gotten pretty close. Outside of Triple E and Compass Rose, he was one of few ponies I'd call a true friend. I think he was even gonna name me the godmother of his foals. Oh Goddesses! His foals will never know their father!
I was so consumed with collecting his ashes, that I didn’t notice the griffon land inches from where Snag had just been standing.
“Well, if it isn't ze bitch who ended my life lahst night.” The griffon growled in an accent I couldn't quite place, “I should zank you foah ziss new condition I'm inflicted wiss. I know you cahn't die, but I could teeuh you to pieces. Foahtunahtely foah you, ze boss wants you intahct. come quietly, ahnd ze rest of ze New Ahppleloosaihns cahn go in peace.”
Hold on, this attack was all to find me? It's not just random, undead slavers taking in new merchandise? What in the wild world of Equestria is going on here? I’m not important, I’m just a journalist and convicted/executed murderer from Junction City. I didn’t encounter these slavers until last night. They even originally left me for dead. What the fuck does their boss want with me?
*** *** ***
Footnotes:
Jibbly Jot: Level Up! Level -2
New Perk Added:
Cutter – (perquisite Slasher Perk) You are even more likely to strike a fatal blow with a bladed weapon like a knife, saw or axe. +10% critical chance.
Abide: Level Up! Level 4
New Perk Added:
Spray and Prey – Even if you do not hit your target, the act of you shooting in their general direction has a chance of stunning them, allowing for your allies to get close to them mostly unharmed. -15 to Stun DT to all foes in your line of sight while you are holding an automatic or semi-automatic gun, but -10% critical chance. Though you have a 5% chance to hit allies in your line of sight.
Quest Perk Added:
Wakeup Call – You have finally woken up to the dangers of the wasteland. +13 speech (when talking to other wasteland newbees). You have unique dialogue options with select individuals.
Quests Updated:
No Rest for the Wicked – Save New Appleoosa from the undead, slaver threat.