//------------------------------// // The Triangle Waltz: Hope, Harmony, Despair - Daily Life 2 // Story: Danganronpa vP: Harmony of Despair // by witegrlninja //------------------------------// I woke up a good half hour before Nighttime's end this morning, and spent it lying awake, pondering the meaning of the Power Crystal Room. Though it felt so familiar, no matter how hard I thought about it, I just couldn't bring the answers to the tip of my tongue. If I tried to imagine working the computer panels on the walls, they would melt and swirl away into uselessness; if I tried to think about the crystals themselves, my mind would go blank in the attempt. Before long, Monokuma's morning announcement played and the sun rose in an instant. Giving up for now, I got out of bed with a groan and headed for the cafeteria. As I entered, my best friends seemed to be in slightly better shape than yesterday... slightly. Rarity had her usual makeup back on, the whites of her eyes the only clue that she had been recently crying. Pinkie Pie's mane was trying to curl itself back up, but so far had only managed the ends. But Applejack, however... she continued to stare morosely into her coffee cup. Her eyes and cheeks were bright, stinging red, and she seemed a little gaunt, like she hadn't eaten recently. I frowned as I gathered together a meal for myself and sat down with them. While Rarity, Pinkie and I talked, I kept a careful eye on Applejack. At no point did she even attempt to grab herself some breakfast... she barely even sipped her coffee. The others wandered in eventually, got their meals together and sat down as well; during the commotion, Applejack let out a sigh and shoved her half-full coffee cup aside. "Ah'll be in the gardens, if anypony needs me," she muttered in a raspy whisper as she got up and left. Out of everypony present, nopony seemed to notice other than myself. AJ... are you alright...? "...Applejack? Hmm, where did she go?" Rarity turned her head from Coloratura as if to include her in a conversation, but found her missing. "She just left a minute ago," I answered. "She said she'll be in the gardens." At this revelation, Rarity frowned and let out a deep sigh. "The poor dear... she's going to hurt herself at this rate," she mumbled. "She's spent all of her spare time rooting around in those gardens doing manual labor... I suppose it's her way of coping." "But she's barely eaten a thing since Rainbow died," Pinkie added. "She won't even try my apple pies, or spiced apple cookies, or honey-apple cake, or anything!" "That's not good," I gasped inwardly. "I hope she's at least eating some of the food in the gardens while she's out there." "Maybe... but she works almost non-stop. And if you try to drag her away for even a water break, she flat-out refuses," said Coloratura. "I've been keeping an eye on her... I just don't want her to collapse from exhaustion or something." "I see... I take it she hasn't seen Redheart about this, huh?" I asked, to which my friends shook their heads. "Well... I'll talk to her about it. Maybe hearing from an actual nurse that she needs to take it easy will get her to slow down." "I do hope so," Rarity sighed. "She knows she can talk to us... I simply wish she would." ~ Facing a long, dull day of futile wondering, I began to wander the halls aimlessly. ...Oh, I said I'd talk to Redheart... I should find her. I ended up finding her in the Library, going over yet another stack of medically-related books. "Ah, hello Twilight," Redheart smiled slightly as she looked up from one of her books. "Care to join me in my studies again?" "Sure," I began before catching myself. "Although, I wanted to talk to you about a couple of things, too." "Oh? What is it?" Sitting down across from her, I began with our concerns about Applejack. Redheart listened carefully as I spoke, nodding on occasion. After I had finished, she closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. "She's dealing with complicated grief right now... I'm surprised more of us here aren't, to be honest," she grimaced. "I can try talking to her, maybe I can even arrange a private therapy session for her... but if what you and your friends say is true, she may not want to take that step for a while. Therapy won't work if the patient doesn't want to work on it... not to mention, I'm no actual therapist myself." "Can you at least ask her to not work so hard? We're afraid she'll overdo it and hurt herself, and she won't listen to my friends. Maybe she'll listen if it's coming from an actual nurse?" "That, I can do. And If she does continue, I can mix some supplements, or at the very least treat her when she does eventually overdo it. I've also been told that Bulk is a skilled masseuse, perhaps I can advise her to see him for a massage... oftentimes they work wonders on Earth ponies." "That's great! Thank you," I exhaled in relief. "Of course," Redheart nodded once. "Is there anything else I can help you with?" "Actually..." I cleared my throat, and in the simplest manner I could think of, I explained the dreams I'd been having lately. While Redheart's face had shown an expression of compassionate understanding before, it now tightened and scrunched into deep thought. "...I'm afraid you were right, I don't know much about dream interpretations, if anything," she finally said after a period of silence. "But... it does seem strange. You say you only have these dreams after a trial has been held, correct?" "Yea... and after each trial, I can make out what they're saying a little better. Can't make out everything yet, though." Redheart hummed in thought, then remained silent for a while longer. "...It could just be a way your own grief is manifesting," she suggested. "I'm afraid I can't think of anything else that would make more sense right now." "Oh..." I looked down at the floor in disappointment. Seeing this, however, Redheart got up from her chair. "Maybe there's a book in here that will help us get to the bottom of this," she said. "Would you like to search with me?" Books? That was all the motivation I needed. ~~~ Nurse Redheart and I meticulously searched every book in the Library for anything about dreams. Unfortunately, we didn't find anything... ~~~ "Hey, can I ask you about something else?" I spoke after our search had proven fruitless, and we'd sat back down to rest. "Sure." I swallowed, pursing my lips. "...Are there any ponies you do like? I mean... you don't find completely horrible?" Redheart's eyes glanced into my own without betraying a hint of emotion. "Well, my parents, I suppose. They raised me just fine, I think, never treated me harshly, did the best they could... although if we were all strangers, I don't think I'd particularly want to spend time with them." "...That's all?" I asked after she made no effort to mention anypony else. I felt a little sad knowing that fact now. "That's all," she affirmed. "And... you're fine with that?" Redheart sighed. "Twilight... I know how completely foreign the concept must be to you, but I am perfectly fine being alone." "It's not that foreign to me... I used to think that way, too." Part of me wasn't surprised to see Redheart blink in disbelief when I'd spoken. "Before I moved to Ponyville, I thought friendship was pointless and unnecessary. I shunned the ponies that wanted to get to know me in Canterlot and spent all my time locked in my dorm studying. Even when I did move here, at first I just wanted to find a way to stop Nightmare Moon from coming back; if it meant bringing along the five ponies that wouldn't leave me alone for some reason, then fine, whatever. "But you know what? They grew on me, and I realized that each of them had something special... something that I lacked. And over time, they brought out the best in me. I gained those things I lacked, the warmth and inner joy and peace that loyalty, kindness, honesty, generosity and sharing laughter with them brings to my heart... I gained friends. True friends." Redheart sat as still as a statue, her eyes half-lidded. "...Mm." "...Mm? That's all you have to say? Just 'mm'?!" "Well, you six turned out to be the Elements of Harmony... I can see friendship being important to you and the others. Me, though? I'm not a part of that." "You don't have to be!" I argued. "Anypony can make friends, and anypony can be a friend!" Redheart suddenly burst into a dry cackle. "Like my fellow classmates in nursing school? Oh, I tried becoming friends with them. But if any of them saw an opportunity to make themselves look better to the instructors or job prospects, they'd happily trample each other to get ahead. The cheating, the bargaining, the snitching, the backstabbing was rampant! It only took two days' worth of missed notes because of a cold for me to see that those ponies were not friend material." "Okay... maybe those ponies, sure," I shrugged uncomfortably. "But there's always coworkers." "The last time I asked a coworker for a favor, not only did they fail to do it, but they turned it around and framed me for it not being done," Redheart shook her head, a sneer appearing on her muzzle. "It was a damn good thing I documented everything, or else that would've been my job right there." "...Alright, how about ponies with the same hobbies as yours? Or-" "Look, Twilight..." Redheart groaned. "I appreciate what you're trying to do. But it's unnecessary. I've seen so much ugliness in so many ponies that the utter idea of friendship repulses me." "But-" "If there's anything other ponies have taught me, it's that everypony is in it for themselves. And you know what? So am I. I would much rather be alone than have my so-called 'friends' use me for their own gain and stab me in the back when they're done." I paused for a few moments, finding a well-hidden lie in her words. "...But you're not like those other ponies. You help others, rather than hurt them. You don't stab them in the back when your business is finished with them." "Well... I'd be fired if I did that," Redheart muttered sarcastically, glancing away. "No, I mean... even here. You're doing your best to help us survive, when you could be doing nothing at all, or worse - trying to murder one of us." "I've already told you... I will never inflict that kind of behavior on another pony myself," said Redheart. "I refuse to stoop to that level... it's disgusting." "And besides that, you held a counseling session for my friends and I... nopony asked you to, right? And you made Bulk that supplement, remember?" "Just because I said I refuse to stab anypony in the back doesn't mean I'm also adverse to doing things for others." "Sure," I agreed, "but the kindness you've shown the ponies here in doing those things... they will remember that. And they'll want to help you out in return, too. Not everypony out there is a terrible pony... I hope that one day you can see that, and you won't be so afraid to open up again." Redheart was silent for a few moments, contemplating my words. For a moment her face twitched, like I had unintentionally struck a nerve. But she relaxed, and her face softened as she gazed back at me. "...I'll think about it." ~ I left the Library to wander again, but my mind soon traveled back to Applejack's well-being. Walking outside to the gardens behind the school, I found Coloratura keeping vigil on the bench beneath the fake Zap Apple tree while Applejack tirelessly picked weeds. "How's it going?" I asked, sitting down beside Coloratura. "It's... going..." Coloratura sighed. "Just keeping an eye on Jackie over there." "Ah... she hasn't slowed down a bit, hasn't she?" "Nope. There were a couple times when her legs were buckling and it looked like she might finally tire out, but then she'd just grab the closest fruit or vegetable and scarf it down, and then went right back to work," she sighed again. Applejack... "...Care to join me?" Coloratura asked, patting the empty space beside her on the bench. "Don't mind if I do." ~~~ Coloratura and I watched Applejack work in the gardens for a while. ~~~ "...You know, I wonder why fate had us meet again like this," Coloratura droned suddenly as we sat in silence. "You and... AJ?" I asked. "Yea... I mean, I always wanted to reconnect with her and all, but... why like this?" "Ah." "It's just... cruel. A bunch of her friends are gone- your friends, I mean..." Yea... please don't remind me... "I... I just wish I could go give her a hug, and tell her that everything will be okay... even though I know it isn't," Coloratura sighed, wrapping her forelegs around herself while staring at the ground. "Why don't you, then? You sound like something's stopping you." "Well... when we were both little, we were always all huggy and cuddly with each other. Now, though... I don't get the impression that she's like that anymore." "Oh, no, she does! Well, maybe she's not as cuddly and stuff as, say, Pinkie, but she likes hugs," I assured. "Ah, good..." Coloratura smiled, blushing. "...I really missed that about her. I'd forgotten her touch after all these years apart, but seeing her again... well, I remember it again. At first when we lost touch with each other, it bothered me so much not to see her and share a hug. Guess I just got used to it..." I was about to reply, but something in my mind froze my lips in place. Something about that sentence seemed more... intimate than I'd been assuming from her. "Oh, but now... maybe that's why she's in my life again! Maybe I can make her feel better!" "Um... hold on," I held up a hoof. "Do you have a crush on AJ?" "Wha- NO!" Coloratura shrieked, her elated expression shattering as she glanced fearfully in Applejack's direction. Being as far away from us as she was, however, the pony in question made no reaction. "No, no, I don't have a crush on Jackie! I just want to cheer her up and stuff!" she hissed. "Oh, okay... I mean, it's alright if you do, I won't judge," I grinned. "Besides, recent evidence has led me to believe that she may be into mares." Now Coloratura's expression changed from embarrassed terror into surprise. "...You think so...?" she asked quietly, the smallest hint of a smile spreading on her muzzle. "Well... ehehe... is that so...?" "Although, given our situation, now probably isn't a great time to ask her on a date," I added. "First of all, we need to escape this place, and... she'll probably need some time to herself after all this." "Right, yea..." Coloratura quickly agreed, nodding vigorously. "Oh... but, do you think she would be open to the thought? I mean, before the concert in Ponyville we hadn't even spoken to each other for years, and even when were were fillies, she didn't really like big cities or the thought of being famous... What if I'm just not her type?!" she gasped. "Well... you won't know unless you try, right?" I shrugged. "You're right, she could always only see you as a friend and leave it at that, but even then it's only awkward if you let it be... that's what Princess Cadance says, anyway. But hey, as soon as she heard you were the main act in the concert, AJ had nothing but nice things to say about you." "Oh? I see... I see..." Coloratura trailed off as her eyes wandered back to Applejack, tearing out a particularly large weed with a loud, pained groan. In an instant we were reminded of the fact that she was working herself into exhaustion, and our faces fell. "AJ, are you alright?!" I shouted, fluttering into the air. "Please, won't you take a break yet?!" Coloratura begged as she stood up from the bench. "Ah'm fine!" Applejack shouted back, somewhat arrogantly. We both sat back down with a sigh, knowing from experience that there was no use in forcing her to stop. "...I wish I could do something to help her..." Coloratura mumbled sadly, staring at the ground. Me too, Rara... me too... ~ Coloratura and I nearly had to drag Applejack to the cafeteria to join us for supper. Once inside, she stormed off to put together a meal for herself, grumbling all the while about how she was just fine. We watched her carefully until Rarity and Pinkie met with us to see if anything had changed. While we talked and commiserated with each other, Flam walked over to us as well. "Ah, and how are you lovely ladies this evening?" he smiled. "Fine! Just... worried about Applejack," Pinkie scrunched her muzzle. Flam's smile fell. "Yes... she's been looking rather rough lately, hasn't she?" he nodded. Eventually, everypony else gathered in the cafeteria for supper, as usual. We ate, having our usual light conversations... but over in a corner, Applejack sat alone, picking at her food and barely touching her drink. Though Coloratura, Pinkie, Rarity and myself tried to encourage her to come sit and chat with us, she continued staring at her plate like we didn't even exist. Towards the end of our meal, she shoved the plate forward and laid her head down in her forelegs. While I took my dishes to the dishwasher, Flam, with concern on his face, stood up and quietly approached Applejack. "I say, AJ, dear... what's got you so down this evening?" he asked. Applejack didn't respond, other than lifting her head slightly. Though her face was wet with tears, her eyes were narrowed in annoyance. "You should really eat something, you know?" Flam continued, glancing at her neglected plate. "Wouldn't want you to become ill, or get hungry later in the evening when the Kitchen's off-limits." "Ah'm fine..." Applejack muttered. "Please... ah just... don't wanna talk right now." "Are you sure? We're... I'm just worried about you, that's all." "Worried 'bout me?" Applejack chuckled darkly, wringing fresh tears from her eyes before staring stoically off into space. "Ah don't need yer worry... ah'm fine." "C'mon... isn't there anything I can do to cheer you up?" Flam gently sat down beside Applejack and slid a cautious hoof around her shoulders. But though he tried to console her, Applejack simply just wasn't having any of it. "No, damn it, no!" she snarled, breath hitching, grabbing Flam's hoof and throwing it off her shoulder forcefully. "What part of 'ah don't wanna talk right now' do you not git?! Don't you start thinkin' ah'm some kind of damsel in distress or somethin'... ah'm just fine!" Flam recoiled as if struck. "I do not think you're a damsel in distress! ...Well, a damsel, sure... and you do seem awfully distressed at the moment-" "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Applejack roared, startling everypony left in the room. Then without another word, she quickly got up from her table and ran out of the cafeteria, presumably to her room if the muffled slam of a door in the distance was any indication. "...What did you do?!" Coloratura glared at Flam. "Nothing!" Flam threw up his hooves. "I was just trying to console her!" Coloratura continued eyeing Flam for a few more moments before shaking her head and leaving the room. Feeling sorry for him, I walked over to Flam. "She's just taking everything really hard... don't be mad," I said. "Never have I met a more stubborn mare..." Flam sighed, slumping in his seat. "That's Applejack for ya," I chuckled halfheartedly before sighing myself. "...I just wish she wouldn't bottle up her feelings like this, though. It's not doing her any good." "Indeed... Still, I seem to have upset her further... I'll have to do the gentlestallion-y thing and apologize later," he conceded. ~ The rest of the evening was spent with Pinkie and Rarity, trying to put together a plan to bring Applejack out of her funk. The way she was carrying on was clearly unhealthy, and none of us wanted another friend to become ill, or worse. In the end, Rarity resolved to put together some heavy-duty gardening gear for her so she wouldn't become bruised or scratched by all the work, I decided to use my Alchemy knowledge to brew a combination of nervine and restorative potions, and Pinkie decided she would pick as many of the crops as she could and whip them up into a feast so enticing Applejack would have no choice but to eat something. Pinkie's task could be held off until tomorrow, so she dashed repeatedly between the Art Room and Alchemy Lab to assist us. It took us until about an hour after Nighttime began, but we finished our work. We walked down the hallways together back to the Dormitory, chatting hopefully about tomorrow. After saying our goodnights and returning to our rooms, I carefully set the potion down on my desk, took a shower, climbed into bed and went to sleep.