//------------------------------// // What's Up, Chuck? // Story: Mission to the Pony Planet // by ersmiller //------------------------------// “And then I said, ‘if only I had some kind of party cannon that could decorate everything super fast’,” recited one Pinkie. “You don’t have party cannons?!” exclaimed the other, reaching into her mane. “I have tons!” Shindy watched her counterpart pull a tiny party cannon about the size of her hoof out of her mane. “Eeeeeeee!” she squealed. “That’s so adoracute! Shoot it, shoot it!” Peachie giggled along and pressed the button on top and a small gust of confetti blew out onto the park grass with a squeak. “Ta-dah! I made it for a birthday party Fluttershy set up for a hamster. Didn’t want to knock the little guy off his wheel. I’ll show you how to make them.” Shindy giggled her off. “No, it's okay. I made my own eventually. Really came in handy at the Friendship Games.” “Ooh-ooh-ooh! What happened, what happened?!” “That’s when Crystal Prep came and—oh hi, Miss Cheerilee!” Shindy waved as they passed by the cheerful pony. Cheerilee, now slightly less cheerful, replied calmly, “Again? Pinkie you don’t have to call me ‘Miss’ ….” Looking up from the book she had been reading, she trailed off seeing a pair of Pinkies and blinked. “… Right. There's two of them now. Just smile and wave, Cheerilee. Just smile and wave.” *** *** *** “Oh and Twilight said you play the drums?” “I do!” “Me too!” “You wana jam?” “You know I do!” *** *** *** BOOM BOOM ““Weeeeeeeeeeeee!”” SPLASH SPLASH ““Again!”” BOOM BOOM ““Whooooooooooo!”” SPLASH SPLASH ““Again!”” BOOM BOOM ““Hahahaha!”” SPLASH SPLASH ““Again!”” BOOM BOOM ““Look out below!”” SPLASH SPLASH ““Again!”” A short distance away, a group of ponies watched the Pinkies shooting themselves out of party cannons and into the pond. More and more confetti covered the surface with each blast, making each splashdown more colorful than the last. It was a good thing they used biodegradable materials. *** *** *** “So what else do you do back home?” Peachie asked, wringing out the gallons of pond water still in her mane and tail. “Oh, lots of things!” Shindy replied, working on her own post-pond situation. “I’m a cheerleader.” “Oh so was I! I pommed so many 'om-poms at the Equestria Games!” “I’m working on my macaroni macaroon Muenster mural in my spare time.” “Oh, I did one of those!” Manes and tails no longer weighing more than the ponies they were attached to, the pair collected the various objects that had fallen out of them in the wringing process and continued on their way. “I love babysitting!” Shindy added. “You mean foalsitting?” “Yeah! I think? I babysit the Cake twins all the time! They’re so adorable!” “Yeah! Particularly when they’re sleeping,” Peachie giggled. “Especially when they’re sleeping,” Shindy agreed, their giggles turning to full laughter. “Eeee!” she squealed. “I would love to see them as little little ponies! They must be sooo cute with their tiny little pony ears and little tiny hoofsies!” Peachie gasped, “OOH! I’ll introduce you! They’re my favorite little little ponies! Them—Oh, hi, Mr. Waddle,” Peachie greeted the elderly stallion as they neared the marketplace, “—and Flurry Heart.” Shindy looked over as Mr. Waddle turned to reply to Peachie’s greeting. “Looking fit as a fiddle, Mr. Waddle,” Shindy added. “And you're wearing my favorite tie!” “Uh …,” Mr. Waddle replied, squinting at the two pink ponies still trotting through town, eventually taking off his glasses and wiping them with his bow-tie. However, putting them back on didn’t merge the ponies into one Pinkie. “Well, it is Ponyville,” he mused to himself. “He’s my English teacher,” Shindy told Peachie. “By the way, what’s a flurry heart?” “What’s an english?” *** *** *** "Peekapony!" cheered Peachie, getting a laugh from Pound Cake. After chuckling herself, she covered her eyes with her hooves. "Where's Pinkie?" Pound promptly pointed at Shindy playing the same game with Pumpkin Cake beside them. "Um," said Shindy, "I think we're confusing them." Peachie brought her hooves down and both Cake twins switched from pointing at Shindy to pointing at Peachie. "Maybe we should try Patty-Cake?" Shindy offered. "Good idea!" Peachie agreed. "I even have the perfect cupcakes for it!" *** *** *** “This bakery is amazing! It’s like the Sweet Shoppe back home but it smells so—” Shindy cut herself off with a big inhale “—do you bake with magic sugar?” “We keep it next to the confectioner's!" exclaimed Peachie, pointing toward the kitchen behind the counter. She then leaned in close to Shindy and whispered loudly in her ear, "It's an old earth pony technique. It's why so many of Equestria's great bakers are earth ponies like the Cakes and the Apples!"  Back to standing and speaking normally, for a Pinkie, Peachie continued. "I'll show you how it works. I bet you could even do it at home with your thingy thing!" "My geode?" "Yeah! Your magic thingy geode thing." "Maybe. It does like to do things with candy. Oooohh!!  Maybe it's not the candy but the sugar in the candy! Maybe it can do more than just blow it up!" "Only one way to find out!" "Keep trying different things until something doesn't blow up?" "Exactamundo!" Shindy laughed. "That would be great if it works! I bet magic sugar could help bring up sales for Mister and Missus Cake back home!" Peachie gasped. "You bake for the Cakes too?" "Sometimes, but I mostly work at the diner. It pays more and the Sweet Shoppe doesn't get enough of business outside of the after-school crowd for them to need me there. I love working at the Sweet Shoppe! Baking sweets all the time, trying out new recipes, eating and selling delicious treats, seeing everybody smile when they smell that warm sugar and cinnamon! Not that I don’t like working at the diner. The customers still smile, we have ice cream, and the skates are fun!” “Wait. Skates?” “Yep! Part of the uniform!” “Ooh! Maybe I should start using skates at work.” “How would you bake with skates on your hooves?” Shindy paused and looked at her front hooves. “How do you bake with skates not on your hooves?” “Let’s bake some treats after we eat and I’ll show you!” “Let’s!” As the pair giggled, Mrs Cake arrived with a platter on her back. “Here you go, Pinkies,” she said with a smile. “Thank you for playing with the twins, and we do have a free station in the back you can use when you’re done.” ““Thanks, Mrs Cake,”” the Pinkies cheered back, moving the platter of colorful treats onto their booth’s table. Mrs Cake took it in stride and returned to the front counter. Who was she to say what was strange or normal anymore? *** *** *** “Hey! You know one thing that could make these even better?” asked Shindy, looking over their platters of freshly baked goodies spread around the kitchen. “What? Candy toppings?” “Yes, candy toppings!” “I’ll get some!” “No, wait!” Shindy cut off her twin and reached into her mane to pull out a collection of colorful Nana pills and started dropping them onto a few of the freshly frosted cupcakes. “Um …,” Peachie began. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea.” “Why not? They taste great!” Shindy popped one into her mouth. “You made some great recipes.” “Thank you. But, uh, you’ve been having a lot of them. Have the voices really been that much trouble?” “Sometimes. The rest of the time I just like candy.” Shindy ate another. “I’ve been eating them all day!” “But they aren’t really candy, they’re pills just inside candy shells. I don’t think you should have too many, and we shouldn’t give them to anypony else either. Nana Pinkie said to be careful.” “Well, okay,” Shindy considered before locking eyes on a few of her finished pastries made with magic, Equestrian sugar, specifically those topped with Nana pills. “But I already put some on these cupcakes so they have to be eaten. I’ll just take care of that now!” With that, she tossed all her Nana cupcakes in the air and swallowed them down. “OOOOH! Yummie! So sparkly!” *** *** *** ““WE’RE BAAAACK!”” shouted the Pinkies bounding through the doors of the Palace of Friendship’s throne room, each with baskets of goodies on their backs. ““And we have DESSERTS!”” “Great timing you two, I’m starving,” Spike called back, rushing into the room. “I mean,” he corrected with half a dragon fruit tart already in his mouth, “Twily wrote back. She’s ready for Shindy to go through the portal.” The two Pinkies stopped and their large, toothy grins slowly reduced to small smiles. Together they placed all their goodies onto the map table and turned to each other, pulling themselves into a hug so tight Spike could feel his ribs bruising from proximity alone. “Goodbye, Pinkie,” Shindy said. “Don’t forget to write, Pinkie,” Peachie replied. “Of course I won’t because I know you won’t, Pinkie.” “You know it, Pinkie! You’ll hear about every new friend, all our parties, the new recipes I make. Everything!” “Yeah, mine too!” ““We’ll write way more than Rainbow Dash!”” They giggled and began working their way to the temporary portal room. Spike followed along, having taken charge of one of the dessert baskets. “Since we've done the 'So-You-Came-to-Our-World-to-Save-Your-Friend-and-Became-Our-Friends-and-Twins-in-the-Process-and-Now-You're-Going-Home-Again-and-We'll-Miss-You-but-We'll-Never-Forget-You' and the 'Thank-You-for-Becoming-Our-Friends-and-Family-and-Being-so-Wonderfully-Super-Nice-About-All-The-Trouble-We-Caused-All-Over-Two-Different-Towns-and-Nearly-Blowing-Up-Both-Our-Universes' parties already, and I have to get the 'Welcome Back to our Home Plan'—I mean—the 'just because' parties to welcome back everyone before they actually get there, be sure to say goodbye to Twi and Share and Ponyjack and Posey and Primo for me,” Shindy requested. “Of course!” Peachie cheered. “And Mr. and Mrs. Cake and the twins and Mr. Waddle and Cheerilee—“ “—and Gummy and Lyra and Sweetie D—“ “—Bon Bon and Octavia and—“ “—Mr. Donkey and—“ “—Trixie and—“ *** *** *** They were still adding to the list by the time they had arrived at the portal. Any more thorough and the list could have been used in place of Ponyvile’s next census. It was when the list began including Canterlot ponies that Spike ‘accidentally’ gave the ‘nudge’ that resulted in the talkative visitor falling into the portal. Not far from the other end of the portal in the humane world, waiting for her pink friend to arrive, Twilight Sparkle read over a quickly written message in her new correspondence journal. PLEASE TELL ME I GOT THE RIGHT ONE! \ Confused, Twilight grabbed a pencil and was about to write back when the portal flashed. “—eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee—oof!” A pink girl had arrived. Pinkie looked up from the stack of yoga mats she had landed on. “Ooh! Cushy!” Twilight chuckled back at her. “Yeah, I found out that landing face-down onto the sidewalk isn’t comfortable. I got them from the gym. Thought about getting a mattress from the nurse’s office, but a bed mattress randomly sitting on the sidewalk might have …,” She looked around and the cars and pedestrians passing by the school before continuing, “been too peculiar and attracted more attention. Anyway, welcome home, Pinkie.” “But I like peculiar things!” the girl giggled before rolling over. Hiya, Twily-Twi-Twi-Twily!” Smiling, Twilight held out her hand to help Pinkie up. Pinkie looked at the hand with wide eyes, and then at her own. “Hands! We have hands!” “Yes we—Wooah!” Twilight’s sentence was cut short when Pinkie grabbed her hand and pulled her down onto the mat, and into a hug, rather than try to stand. “I mean hooves are surprisingly nimble for being just a thick, curved sheet of keratin, but there are things that are so much better with hands, like …,” she considered, “tickling!” Suddenly, Twilight was released from the hug but recaptured in a tickle-hold. “Pink—ah! Eek—ha a-haha, Pinkie!” Twilight struggled to free herself amid her laughter. “Twilight?” Spike called, rushing to his mistress. “What’s going—oh.” Upon seeing her laughing struggles, he stopped and watched on, chuckling at the antics. But Pinkie paused and looked up at him. “Spikey-Paws! Come’ere! Ehehe!” Before the puppy could react, he was in Pinkie’s arms and receiving a delicate ear-scritching massage. “Hooves can’t do this!” Pinkie giggled. Seizing the opportunity, Twilight retreated to a safe distance and breathed deeply. Once calm, she recalled the latest message received in her journal. She looked at Pinkie and her eyes widened. “Uh, Pinkie?” “What’s up?” Pinkie returned as Spike’s eyes drifted closed under the scritching. “Which Pinkie are you?” “The one not in Equestria, silly.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Of course you are, currently, but are you the one who was born there or—“ “Ouch!” Pinkie suddenly put her hands to her head, leaving Spike to flop to the yoga mat with a surprised woof. “Pinkie?” Twilight asked, approaching her friend. The Pink girl just remained there holding her head and blinking slowly. “Are you—?” “It’s all so quiet,” Pinkie mumbled. Looking around, Twilight spotted students chatting on the front steps, the gardener mowing the lawn, the usual traffic for the evening rush. It was by no means a traffic jam, but it was far from quiet. “What do you m—is your hair … deflating?” With a slight squeal, Pinkie’s naturally discombobulated curls were losing more and more of their volume and curves. As the locks slowly straightened out and sputtered before hanging straight down, various objects fell from within. Toys, candy, musical instruments, whip cream, a cell phone with multiple chargers, a rubber duckie, school books, clothing, a bag of sugar that was sparkling brightly, and all sorts of the various things the energetic girl was known for suddenly just having without notice. Spike looked up just in time for a ball and an eye-patch to land on his face. In that order. Slowly, almost robotically, Pinkie stood, her hair now as straight as if freshly combed after being coated with a gallon of hair gel. One final object fell. A small bag of pills. Twilight watched, getting a good look at Pinkie’s face. It had fallen into a completely neutral expression. “Uh, P-Pinkie?” “Hello …, Twilight,” Pinkie slowly droned in a flat, emotionless tone. “Are you okay, Pinkie?” asked Spike. “No …. I … feel … not … Pinkie.” Pinkie turned and began walking away from the portal, her arms and legs making stiff motions. Twilight and Spike followed. “I-is there anything we can do?” Twilight asked. “Bring you to the nurse? “No …. I … know … what … I … must … do.” Twilight and Spike glanced at each other. When they looked back up they saw Pinkie bending over with her face in a bush. “BLEAAAAARUUUUUGGHHHHH!” Spike and Twilight cringed and averted their eyes. POP Braving a look back at Pinkie, they saw that her hair had returned to its normal bouncy curls. “Wheu!” Pinkie sighed, breathed deep, skipped back toward the portal, then began returning all the fallen objects back into her hair as if nothing had happened. All the items except for the little bag of pills which she threw like a softball into a distant trash can. She then turns, ignoring the confused expressions on Twilight and Spike’s faces and addresses the readers directly. “Winners don’t do drugs.”