Potty Training Tales

by SuperPinkBrony12


From Pots to Potties (Starswirl the Bearded)

Once the matter with Stygian had been resolved and peace had returned to the realm, Starswirl the Bearded returned to Canterlot where he was very pleased to be reunited with his old students: Celestia and Luna. Although he quickly declared his intent to travel and see all that had changed in his absence, the royal sisters were insistent on least having him stay the night at the castle in Canterlot with them. And the old wizard found that he couldn’t resist the offer.

After bidding farewell to his fellow pillars as they all set off to see what had become of their homes, Starswirl was treated to a truly wonderful feast from the palace chefs, including foods he’d never gotten to taste and beverages he’d never gotten to drink before. It was hard for the royal sisters not to giggle at his lack of table manners during the feast.

Of course what goes in must inevitably come out. Not long after being shown his bedchambers for the night, Starswirl became aware of a faint but fast growing gurgling sensation in his stomach. It was audible enough for both Celestia and Luna to hear it, and they soon saw their mentor clearly straining as he put a hoof to his stomach. “Is everything okay, Starswirl?” Celestia was the first to ask him even though she had a pretty good idea what the problem was.

“I hate to ask this of you two after you’ve already been so accommodating,” Starswirl said as he looked up at the royal sisters. “But I haven’t been around this castle much and I’m afraid I don’t know my way very well. Would you be so kind as to direct me to the nearest royal lavatory? I unfortunately don’t have my old chamber pot on me at the present moment, and I doubt I could borrow either of yours.”

The royal sisters immediately snickered as goofy grins formed on their faces, Luna mostly especially. “Actually, Starswirl. There’s something much better that we have in store. It’s what all ponies use these days, or at least most of them.”

Celestia was quick to instruct. “Please follow us. There’s a lavatory just down the hall from here. You’re not gonna believe what’s inside.”

The old wizard carefully followed his former students as they ushered him down the hallway. He did loosely remember a few times at the old castle of escorting them to the lavatory trenches at night, and now it seemed the roles were being reversed. But he didn’t know what could possibly have changed in the more than a thousand years he’d been gone.

Starswirl was about to be in for a rather interesting surprise.


With the glow of a horn the door knob near the finely decorated lavatory door began to turn, the door itself swung open but a few seconds later and a light flickered on to flood the room.

Once Starswirl’s eyes had adjusted to this sudden light, he saw that this lavatory was nothing like the ones he’d seen in his time. There was a massive bathtub had some kind of nozzle over it, and knobs on either side of it as well as something that hung over head (though for what reason he didn’t know). 

And more tellingly, where the trenches of old had stood now rested a gleaming white bowl made of an unknown substance. The bowl seemed to stretch up to almost Starswirl’s height before ending in a curved, horseshoe shaped seat. Resting up against it was a lid now placed against some sort of rim or tank. Off to his left there was a gleaming, silver colored ramp like object. And a quick inspection revealed that beneath the bowl rested water and some kind of hole or opening.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Princess Luna smiled. “I remember the first time I encountered such a device, it was truly out of this world. This is a toilet. More specifically the throne model.”

“Throne model?” Starswirl pondered.

Princess Celestia nodded. “That’s what some ponies like to call it. It does sort of resemble a royal throne since you have to sit on it. But unlike a normal throne this one is made of porcelain.”

Starswirl the Bearded suddenly remembered upon hearing those words. “Ah yes, I remember hearing about ponies experimenting with such material shortly before my departure to limbo. And I heard rumors that ponies were trying to come up with a replacement for the trenches based on the chamber pot concept,” He eyed this new object as he then asked the royal sisters. “They finally managed to perfect the design?”

“Yes,” Princess Celestia nodded once again. “Although it has been refined over the course of more than a thousand years, more than enough time for everypony to come around to accepting it.”

The old wizard was satisfied with the answer. “Ah, that would make more sense,” Then he was reminded of the reason for his visit to the lavatory, and it had to do with what was in front of him now. “So I’m supposed to use this to take care of my… er… business as it were?”

Luna smiled and answered. “Yes. And it’s really quite simple. You just sit down and then let nature take care of the rest. And when you’re ready to clean up, you can use this,” She gestured a hoof to a nearby rack containing some sort of papery substance. “This is called toilet paper. You use it like you used to use newspaper or other materials with chamber pots and trenches. Then you just place it in the toilet bowl.”

“And how does it empty itself afterward?” Starswirl pondered as he clumsily moved to sit down on the toilet seat, his rump positioned over the bowl to the best of his ability. “Not everypony could afford to have servants or maids to empty out the chamber pots and trenches of old. And something like this seems like it would cost a fortune.”

“Actually, many of these toilets are now quite affordable,” Celestia commented to Starswirl. “And you’ll soon see that there’s little need to have somepony come and empty out this toilet. It can do that itself. But Luna and I can explain that after you’re done. For now, we’ll wait outside so as to give you some privacy.” And she and Luna did just that.


Despite still having a few questions about how this modern device he was seated upon worked, Starswirl quickly turned his attention to more pressing concerns. He felt quite relieved once he’d taken care of his personal business, especially since his stomach no longer bothered him and was empty once again.

Using the toilet paper was a bit more challenging than it initially seemed, but the old wizard soon figured out how to do it properly with his magic. He wiped himself until he was certain his rump was spotless, and deposited the used rolls into the toilet bowl as instructed just as the royal sisters came back.

“Okay, Starswirl,” Celestia declared to her former mentor. “Now that you’re all done there’s only one thing left to do. It’s the best part too, or at least I think so because it’s so convenient. Do you see that little silver object over there?”

Starswirl eyed the ramp like object from earlier and nodded.

“That handle triggers the flush cycle, which is how the toilet empties itself after usage,” Luna explained. “It’s like magic. Watch!” She used her magic to surround the handle on the toilet and press it down.

There was a mighty roar as the wizard suddenly happened to look down, and saw the waters in the bowl were surging and spinning all around, sucking up everything in them. They spun faster and faster as the noise grew louder, and then everything retreated down the hole as the flush cycle ended. When the water returned shortly thereafter there was no trace of anything that had been in it before, it was sparkling clean once again.

Starswirl rose from the toilet and trotted to the sink to wash his hooves as Celestia asked him. “So, what do you think? The toilet is truly impressive, isn’t it? I can’t imagine my life without it now.”

“It’s definitely a lot more efficient than having to carry an old chamber pot around, or depending on servants to reliably empty out a trench,” Starswirl seemed to agree. “That flush is truly something else. To think that it can so easily suck everything you put into it down, as long as it can fit through the hole of course. And you don’t even have to stand up to use it either, at least when it’s one of those throne models. Why, pray tell, do ponies call it that? It hardly seems fair to compare your royal thrones to something that, as convenient as it is also where one’s waste ends up.”

“I guess someponies just want to feel like royalty,” Luna shrugged her hooves. “Though for some young ones the size of it and the noise it makes can be quite intimidating. I know I once felt that way during my first encounter with it. Fortunately, I had my sister to help me adjust to its presence.”

“Well, the only thing that still puzzles me is where everything ends up after the flush cycle ends,” Starswirl explained as he finished washing his hooves. “It must all go somewhere, does it not?”

“There are some pipes that are attached to the toilet. And those pipes in turn connect to other pipes, which ultimately bring everything to the sewers. Where it ends up after that I don’t know, and I don’t want to know.” The sun princess commented.

“It’s the same with me. The sewers are far too unpleasant to even think of exploring or investigating,” The night princess added. “And if there’s ever a problem with this toilet, Celestia and I just call a plumber. This is actually the fifth toilet we’ve had installed here. As impressive and powerful as they are they’re not built to last forever.”

The old wizard then proposed. “Well, something as incredible as this is far too valuable to just discard when it’s no longer needed. If you should need to replace it again, I have a feeling I could make good use of the old one to test out various spells, just like when I used to use my old chamber pots for target practice.”

“Well, if our toilet needs replacing you’ll be the first to know.” Luna told Starswirl.