//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: A Friendly Fireside Chat // Story: Something Cosmic // by DannyJ //------------------------------// A comforting heat flooded the cave as soon as they teleported in. The cold stone beneath Twilight's hooves immediately turned pleasantly warm. The ice on the walls melted away and gathered into a ball of water in the middle of the room, which flew past her and up the passageway behind them with a wave of Discord's hand. A sizzling noise filled the air as the animal bones, dirt, and other detritus littering the cave floor burned up and vanished, and with another snap of Discord's talons, a thick red rug appeared at the back of the cave and unrolled to cover the floor. Discord strolled into the centre of the room, waving his arms wildly as beds, chairs, tables, a fridge, and an already glowing fireplace with a chimney leading up into the rock all sprang from nowhere, each with a loud pop and a burst of colourful smoke. When he was done, he conjured a pitcher of some thick purple substance, collapsed into a rocking chair by the fire, and took a long, deep drink, which he finished with a satisfied sigh. Twilight looked around the cave. It was surprisingly normal for one of Discord's creations. Almost cozy, even. "Discord, what was that back there?" she demanded. Discord rocked gently, his purple-stained lips forming a contented smile. "I told you, I did what you asked," he said, wiping his mouth. "I intervened, and I saved them." "That was not what I asked for!" Twilight shouted, wings ruffling. "I just wanted to save them from the windigo! I didn't know you were going to... to... Oh, Celestia, is he going to be alright? Wulfred? The way you set the crowd on him..." Discord rolled his eyes and tossed his empty pitcher into the fire. The flames roared, now with a slight purple tint. "What they do to Wulfred is entirely down to him. If he was as fair to them as he was to us, then I'm sure they'll be inclined to be merciful. Revolution is rarely bloodless, but you don't necessarily need guillotines to overthrow your rulers." "Why did he need overthrowing?" Twilight marched up to Discord's chair. "He wasn't hurting anybody! He didn't do anything to us!" "I seem to recall he made you uncomfortable," said Discord, lazily reclining. "That doesn't mean I wanted him overthrown!" Twilight backed away, and started pacing on the carpet. "I just didn't know how to turn him down and was afraid of embarrassing myself! You didn't have to... Oh, Celestia! Oh Celestia!" Discord teleported next to her, arm around her shoulder. "Calm down, before you have a little horsey panic attack." He held a brown bag up to her, which Twilight took in both hooves and breathed into. "I didn't do any of it for you. I put Wulfred in his place because that's what I do. I'm the Spirit of Chaos, Twilight." Once her breathing was back to normal, Twilight leveled a glare at Discord, who quickly backed off to lean on the mantle over the fireplace. "Why, then? Explain to me why you had to do that." A dressing gown appeared around Discord's body, and a pipe in his hand. "It's as I said, Wulfred was a vassal of the Skeleton King, and the Skeleton King is a monstrous tyrant. The gargoyles fear the windigoes and the draconequus tribes, and they think that turning to him will protect them. It won't. Jotunheim is the last bastion of true freedom in the Nine Realms, the one place where nations and kings do not reign. I will not let another Realm of Chaos fall to Order. Once we've got you home, I'll have a lot of cleaning up to do around here..." He summoned a match and lit his pipe, blowing bubbles from the end. "...Is this what you did to Equestria?" Twilight said, bitterness breaking through in her voice. "A thousand years ago when you ruled the world? Is this what you did to us?" Discord glared back at her. "Yes," he said, floating off the ground. "I tried to save you ponies from yourselves. But unlike gargoyles, ponies have never appreciated my efforts, and always cling onto the past rather than embracing new opportunities. I tried to give you all freedom before. Twice, in fact. But I've learned my lesson now. If it's your choice to suffer under a yoke when you could be thriving, then I won't force the issue anymore. But in Jotunheim, they know better. This is a land that embraces chaos and meets its challenges gladly, and I intend to preserve that." "You can't be serious. I was there when you tried to take over Equestria again." "Yes, I remember," Discord muttered with another eye-roll. "That wasn't freedom, that was just your own kind of tyranny. Ponies form civilizations by choice, Discord. We don't live in anarchy because we don't want to. How is it freedom if you have to enforce it against everybody else's will?" "It is freedom for the individual, against the tyranny of the majority," Discord snapped, throwing off his dressing gown and stomping on it. "Not that I expect you to understand that. Participating in society is not voluntary, Twilight. You're born into it, and subsumed by it, because society's rules apply to you from birth, and Harmony brainwashes you into accepting them so that you can be more easily controlled. Ponies might seem like they agree with the idea of society, but they always have their grievances, don't they? Maybe they don't like working, or paying taxes, or not being allowed to play the tuba at 3AM because their neighbours complained, but they shut up and do as they're told because they rely on society to meet their needs, and they can't break the rules. "I stripped away the arbitrary restrictions of what ponies can and can't do with their lives. I kept out the truly dangerous threats, I made food and resources plentiful throughout the land, and I never harmed doctors or healers. I removed the need for society, and in my Equestria, ponies could play the tuba at any hour they wanted, and the police would never knock on their doors for it, because there were no police." Twilight scoffed. "That's your excuse? If individual freedom is what you stand for, then why did you violate everypony's minds with your magic?" Her stomach abruptly growled, and Twilight sat on the carpet, no longer able to ignore her discomfort. She had passed up the opportunity to eat at Wulfred's castle when she left early, expecting Discord to bring food up to the room afterwards. Then everything with the skeleton and the windigo happened, and she had forgotten how hungry she was. It was only now that she was reminded again of just how long it had been since she had last eaten. She'd only just had lunch before she inexplicably ended up in the Abyss. Had it really only been a day since this all started? As she mused, an oversized silver tray appeared before her, holding a burger, salad, a plate of hayfries, and a mug of steaming hot coffee. Twilight looked up and met Discord's eyes. He stood over her with a dispassionate look, arms crossed, as if awaiting a response. "...Thank you," she reluctantly allowed. Discord just turned away from her. "You were my enemy, simple as that," he said. "It was you six or me. I made a choice. I'm not proud of my tactics, believe me, but all's fair in war and mind games." A memory of running scared through a twisting maze flashed across her mind, and Twilight suppressed the urge to shudder. Shaking the memory away, she focused on lifting the hayburger trapped between her forehooves. Eating without her horn was bad enough, but with no magic, she couldn't even easily grip food with her hooves. Normally she wouldn't have been much concerned about making a mess, but Discord had a way of making her self-conscious about these sorts of things. If only she had been trapped in Sunset Shimmer's world instead of here; at least if she had fingers again, a lack of magic wouldn't be such a problem. And Sunset would be a more welcome sight than Discord right about now. "I wasn't even talking about that," she muttered. "I can understand what you did to us. It was horrible, and cruel, but I can understand it. But if that's really what you fight for, then what about everybody else? Why did you make Big Macintosh act like a dog, or make those buffalo dance? Mind control seems like a way bigger violation of personal freedom than making ponies pay taxes." Twilight took a bite of her burger. Though it almost slipped from her hooves, the familiar taste of hay, lettuce, and tomatoes was downright heavenly right then. Even the sauces were right. "Oh please, that wasn't a violation." Discord teleported and appeared inside the fireplace in a flash of light. His body coiled around the burning logs like a snake, purple-tinted flames harmlessly licking at him. "I was just giving them all a chance to enjoy themselves without inhibitions, act on impulse. Big Macintosh puts up a stoic front, but he has a playful side underneath. Granny Smith hadn't had a proper dance for years until I came along, thanks to that hip of hers. And have you ever met a buffalo? They're all so stolid! So many traditions and expectations imposed upon them. For a culture like that, the chance to dance and wear pretty dresses is quite liberating. You know, one of them has already since broken away from his tribe to go learn ballet professionally in Manehattan?" Twilight had stopped chewing to stare. Discord still lay nonchalantly in the fire, which wasn't abnormal as far as his abilities went, but something about it seemed... off. It was random, sure, but Discord wasn't doing it to make a joke, or to illustrate a point, or anything. He was just sitting in the fireplace while trying to have an otherwise serious conversation. Twilight wondered if maybe she was just reading too much into a visual gag that didn't land, but something about it bugged her. Something just on the edge of her memory. She decided not to comment on it. "...Really?" she said through a mouthful of food. Discord nodded. "He and his new boyfriend were living quite happily together, last time I checked. So you see, I am a selfless and heroic force of change and progress." The flames crackled as they washed over him. A piece of coal fell from the fireplace as he shifted, and Twilight blinked as she realised what was bugging her. She'd seen this before. Spike used to do the exact same thing when he was little. Maybe it was a dragon thing? Swallowing, Twilight frowned again. "I wouldn't go that far." "Think what you want. But you're in no position to lecture me about the evils of mind control, Princess." Discord smiled. "Don't think I've forgotten how you wanted to use your reforming spells on me against my will. And let's also not forget the Smarty Pants incident, or any of the other numerous instances of mind magic which Equestria tolerates, such as Princess Candy's talent spell." "Those were all different." Twilight tried to take another bite of her burger, but it slipped from her hooves and splattered over her tray. "Shoot!" Discord furrowed his brow. "Are you okay, Twilight? Do you need help?" "I'm fine," she said, tersely, gathering up the pieces of her burger. "It would help if I had my magic back, but I'll manage." A silence hung in the air, broken only by the crackling of the fire. Twilight scooped up her now much sloppier burger and tried to finish it. "So," she said between bites. "This Skeleton King. I'm guessing the one who chased after me worked for him?" Discord stretched languidly and crawled out of the fireplace on all fours, a thick layer of ash clinging to his underside. "Yes indeedy," he groaned. Twilight watched him curiously, remembering the many times Spike tracked ash and soot all over her parents' house. Watching Discord do it was surreal. "So what does he want? Where did he come from?" Discord shrugged and slumped on the carpet. "The Skeleton King is one of the elder gods, a being from the universe before this one, where the laws of physics were different. He's cranky because the world has changed, this reality is uncomfortable for him, and his powers don't work as well as they used to. Basically the same things all old people complain about, only the Skeleton King still has the vigour to inflict his misery on the rest of us, and I haven't found any retirement homes willing to take him yet." "And... what does this mean for Jotunheim?" "War, conquest, exploitation, same as any petty dictator. The only difference is that an oath to the Skeleton King is more than just an oath for life. Those who serve in his legion or the Court of Bones serve beyond death. And not as mindless animate corpses, either, but as fully intelligent undead slaves, all the better to fight in the next war and harvest more souls." "That's... horrible!" said Twilight, setting aside the remains of her unfinished burger. "You don't have to tell me." She paused as she considered something. "Back in the castle, you said to the gargoyles that you were there when he became a skeleton?" Discord sat up and stretched again, leaning back against the fireplace. "Yup." "And this was... in this previous universe of his?" "Mmhmm." "How did you... go there?" "I didn't go there. I'm from there." "I thought you were from here?" Twilight gestured around the cave. "This place. Jotunheim. You're a draconequus, aren't you? And this is where draconequui are from." Discord chuckled deviously. "Ah, Twilight, you think it's as simple as all that? You find out my species and a possible homeland, and think you have the Spirit of Chaos all figured out?" "No, I'm asking you because I'm trying to figure you out," Twilight said impatiently. "Your species are obviously local to here, and you know the land and the culture, but you're also claiming to be older than the universe. I'm just wondering how seriously I should take you." "Your first mistake was taking anything I say seriously," Discord said with a grin. "You may be right about that," Twilight mumbled. "Well, I don't know what being the 'Spirit of Chaos' actually means, but I've seen you get sick, and I've seen you lose your magic and survive. You didn't fade away or anything, so whatever you are, you're obviously flesh and blood. And it sure seems like this is your birthplace, so I seriously doubt you're actually an elder god older than time itself. I mean, you certainly don't behave like one." "I could be both; I have what you might call an unpredictable past. And how do you know what an elder god is supposed to act like anyway?" "Furthermore, being older than time isn't even scientifically possible. For one thing, how would that even work? How can you be older than what is, by definition, the oldest thing?" Discord shrugged. "Who created time? Who created reality? All of this had to come from somewhere. By definition, anything that existed before time must be older than it." "Yes, but you didn't create the universe." Discord subtly tilted his head, and his smile grew ever so slightly wider. Twilight blinked, and tried to ignore the chill that ran down her spine. "...No," she said with a firm stomp of her hoof and shake of her head. "I know what you're trying to imply with that look, and no, I don't believe that for a second! The universe is not so badly designed!" Discord shook his head and chuckled. "Ah, typical Twilight. Thinks she's a scientist, but puts the conclusion before the evidence. You let your preconceived biases dictate what you believe is possible, and dismiss out of hoof that which doesn't fit your worldview. A true scientist should weigh all the possibilities, but instead you blindly cling onto yesterday's theories, even when they don't answer today's questions. You even called time travel scientifically impossible when your own future self was standing right in front of you. Tell me, do you ever think Celestia might have done you a disservice, focusing your education so narrowly on magic and friendship?" "Don't try to make this about me, or Celestia!" Twilight stood. "You're deflecting the question, because you know that the burden of proof lies on the one making the outrageous claim!" "You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Discord sat up and leaned forward, the flickering shadows from the fireplace casting half his grinning face in darkness. "I'm sure you'd just love to pin me down and fit me into a neat little box, because you think if you can categorise me, if you can understand me, then you won't have to be afraid anymore. Because that's what this is really about, isn't it? I frighten you. Because even for all the time we've known each other, you still have no idea what I am, or what I'm capable of." Something about the way he looked at her sent another shiver through Twilight's body. Discord seemed to notice her discomfort, as his grin slowly disappeared. "...Oh, very well," he sighed, climbing back into his rocking chair. "Spoil my fun, why don't you? Fine, if it helps you sleep better at night, no, I didn't create the universe, and no, I'm not an elder god... I think." Twilight let out a breath she'd been holding, but also didn't take her eyes off Discord. Something was definitely off about him. He was being oddly passive. He'd been sitting around and calmly talking for several minutes now. No gags, no tricks, very little idle magic use aside from sitting in the fireplace. In the castle, it made sense, because they had been undercover. Here, it was almost like he was... tired. "...How can you be unsure about something like that?" she asked, sitting back down. Discord breathed a sigh. "I said I was there when old Lord Skelly lost his skin, but the truth is, I only have his word for that. I don't actually remember being there. In fact, I don't remember anything about the pre-universe. All I know is that the first time I met him, Bones Malone already knew who I was, and he accurately described my current handsome looks long before I ever actually took this form. So I believe him when he says I was there, which means I might be an elder god. But honestly, I doubt it; every other elder god I've met actually remembers being one." "Hmm." Twilight scooped up a hoofful of hayfries. "Do you think you time travelled? Or maybe something erased your memories? Like what happened to me?" Discord snorted. "I don't have amnesia, Twilight. I'm not that clichéd. I remember my origins well enough. And time travel is equally unlikely. I can do a lot of things, but not that." Twilight frowned as she chewed. "But I know you can time travel. Fluttershy told me all about your adventure with the Crusaders." "I'm talking about time travel into the previous universe," said Discord, throwing his hands up in the air. "It can't be done! I break a lot of rules, but even I have to obey the laws of physics. And the old universe had different physics entirely. Our time travel can theoretically take us as far back as the Big Bang, but beyond that point, time as we know it breaks down. Not even the Timewyrms could go back that far." "So what's your theory, then?" "Good question." Discord stroked his beard. "Personally, I think it was most likely an alternate Discord, probably from a universe with similar physics to that one. Or perhaps I'm some kind of rebirth or reincarnation of the old universe's Discord? Reality is annoyingly cycular like that, so it's not outside the realms of possibility." "Would that make you an elder god or not?" "I don't think so? It's not there's any hard and fast definitions, but elder gods tend to be... stranger than I am." Twilight paused. Stranger than Discord? While she considered that, a lump of hayfries fell out of her hooves and landed on the carpet. She let out another cry of frustration. "Ugh!" Twilight stomped. "This is hopeless! I want my magic back! How much longer am I going to be without it?" Discord leaned back again and closed his eyes. "I'll find it for you soon enough, don't worry. Just eat up, get some rest for tonight, and we'll take care of it tomorrow." Twilight sullenly jabbed a hoof at her plate, and pressed it on top of the pile of hayfries. When she pulled it away, none of them stuck to her hoof. When she focused on her horn, no feeling ran through it. She let out a disappointed sigh and drooped her head. Discord cracked one eye open. "...Look, if it'll stop your moping, I can lend you a tiny bit of my magic for now." Twilight's head snapped up. "What? You'd do that?" "Only if you're careful, and willing to accept the consequences." Discord stood up. "This is chaos magic we're talking about here. It won't be easy or comfortable, and it can have effects over time if you're overzealous with it, so you have to use it sparingly. I don't want to drop you off with Celestia only to get turned to stone because I left you barking like a dog or rambling about popping soap bubbles." "That... doesn't sound good." "It isn't." A dark look came over Discord for a second, but he quickly covered it with a smile. "Plus side is, I'll be able to track you much better if we ever get separated again, so no more screaming skeleton showcases. Hopefully." Twilight scraped her hoof against the floor. "...Can I think about it?" "All up to you, Princess." Discord shrugged. "I don't really care either way." Twilight tried not to show her smile. Yeah, sure you don't. There would be time to consider Discord's offer in the morning. Taking on chaos magic and learning to control it was not a decision to be made lightly, nor an endeavour to attempt while tired and hungry. So Twilight just settled in and muddled through the rest of her meal without magic as best she could, and let the day's worries slip away. When she finally got to sleep later that night, she considered it a rest well earned.