Commander Discord sat at the darkened table surrounded by the multiple colored versions of himself again. He sighed. If there was one thing he didn’t like was a board meeting so named because he became so bored. If there were two things that he didn’t like it was having to answer to himself.
“What are you doing about the pony instrumentality project?” asked the Blue Discord. Blue could be such a bother. He worried about things like the big picture and major themes. He also liked to drone on about where things were going. Such a drama llama piñata.
“It’s fine, fine, fine. Nothing for all of you to worry about at all,” assured the Commander.
“What of the rumors of the second and third filly?” asked the Red Discord. He was always so demanding. He never pitched in on room cleaning yet always complained about the decor.
“What rumors?”
“The rumors that they have formed a couple,” clarified Red in his stuffy, self-centered way. ”Such a thing was not in the script, Commander Discord.”
“Oh pish-posh, there is nothing like that going on I assure you.”
“Don’t forget what this experiment is for, Commander. We left you in charge to make sure this operation goes according to script.”
“Mes, Mes, Mes, let me assure me that nothing is going off script. Much. We may be a god of chaos but that doesn’t mean we can’t follow a plan. All scripts change from time to time. I will get everything back to where it is supposed to be.”
“You’d better,” threatened Blue with his dumb looking sneer,” or else you will find us alone once again.”
Commander Discord knew what he meant but felt that panic wasn’t due yet. After all that he and Fluttershy had been through they would weather this too. And have a good laugh about it later. He was relatively sure.
***
Cheese Sandwich searched in an abandoned house. He pulled out a list and made a clear red check from a pen he pulled from his mane.
“Another empty house Boneless 3,”he sighed “Looks like the Mareduke institute is just a sham. Makes you want to know who is truly pulling the strings. “
Boneless 3 stared blankly at its non-rubbery comrade.
“My cheesy sense is telling me there is a doozy of conspiracy here.”
Boneless 3 slid forward and collapsed on Cheese’s back. Cheese carefully replaced him in his saddle.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be careful buddy. After all I don’t want to ruin things between Pinkie and I.”
***
“Aww yeah, today is the day!” shouted Rainbow Dash as she burst from her bed. “We’re going on our date for sure.”
“Unless, an angel attacks, or they need us to do a sync test,”said Fluttershy. She looked round nervously.
“Noper doo,” assured Pinkie Pie. She sat at the table surrounded by cupcakes as usual.
“Oh, I guess it’s ok,” stammered Fluttershy sheepishly. She had secretly wished that something would happen that would derail the plan. Dates made her nervous. What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to do?
“Yes!” hollered Rainbow Dash in glee.
“After class,” reminded Pinkie calmly. She looked happy. Fluttershy wondered if she had some sort of plan up her sleeve. If Fluttershy knew Pinkie, she was hoping that every pony would become better friends after this.
Rainbow Dash’s ears dropped but she grabbed her books with a little bounce in her step. Fluttershy followed her out only to find Commander Discord directly on the other side of the door. Fluttershy nearly fainted from the shock. She unconsciously began to back away.
“Hello,” he said jovially. “I was wondering if Fluttershy was free.”
“Sure, Umm Commander,” stammered Rainbow. She looked at him puzzled and uneasy. “I’ll just wait over here.”
“What do you want, Commander?” Fluttershy stated flatly. She could feel her discomfort and hurt welling up inside her.
“Oh, I was hoping you were free to join me for some tea,” the Commander asked. “We used to love having tea together.”
“Did we?” the third filly gasped,” I don’t remember. Oh dear, I don’t even remember why I’m so angry at you. It feels like you’ve done something very wrong.”
“Me? Do something wrong?” floundered Commander Discord as he put on his most charming smile. “That doesn’t sound like something I would do. Misguided, maybe. Dangerous, perhaps. But normally never wrong, my dear.”
“I’m sorry but I have to get to class, we’re learning about the 2nd impact today.”
“I see. Umm how about after that?”
“Oh, I have a date with my girlfriend Rainbow Dash.”
“How lucky for you. Well I won’t waste anymore of your time then. Go on have fun,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Ok, thank you.”
Fluttershy quickly ran after the cyan pegasus. She wondered why she felt so sad and why the Commander had tried so hard. She felt confused. But shook it off. The commander had plenty of friends to turn to and whatever he did still lingered in her feelings.
***
Pinkie opened her mouth wide then filled it full of delicious hay burger. It felt like a little treat every time her and Twilight had them. She looked forward to it.
“So are you looking forward to tonight?” asked Twilight between bites.
“Yeah,” exclaimed Pinkie. She hadn’t thought about tonight. Hayburgers had dominated most of her thoughts that day.”Weddings have the best parties and cake.”
“This time don’t eat the wedding cake before the bride and groom.”
“Awww that was only once.”
“It was the only other wedding we’ve been invited to,” reminded Twilight with another mouthful.
“So are you bringing Trixie?”
“Of course. All the books I read on being the best girlfriend possible suggest that I should. Now that we have decided to tell everypony there is no reason not to. How about you? Are you bringing Cheese?”
“Hummph,” Pinkie puckered her lips in annoyance. “That lazy pony will probably be late with his tie crooked and his coat not brushed clean.”
“That wasn’t a no,” noted Twilight raising an eyebrow.
Pinkie pouted with her cheeks inflated. Twilight was ruining hayburger time with thoughts of tonight. Of course she was bringing Cheese. She just didn’t like being on the receiving end of others' insight.
***
“Are ya nervous?” Applejack asked Fluttershy at lunch. The pegasus had stared at her food without eating most of lunch. Applejack began to stare longingly at the cupcake Pinkie Pie had given her. She pushed it over and watched her orange friend’s face brighten.
“A little,” Fluttershy admitted. “I’ve never been on a date before.”
“From what I read, it’s not too hard,” thought Sunburst. “It’s like hanging out with your friends but a little more intimate.”
“Have ya,” gulped Applejack,” you know? Kissed her yet?”
“No, oh my goodness, am I supposed to?!” gasped Fluttershy.
“Ah think so.”
“Not necessarily,” interjected Sunburst. “Certainly it’s customary that you kiss towards the end of the date but you don’t have to. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to Fluttershy.”
“He’s right don’t pressure yerself or let her pressure you.”
“Thanks, but I don’t think she’s that type,” assured Fluttershy. “At least I hope not. She may be a little pushy about Evas and competing but she’s a good pony.”
“Ah don’t see it but she’s not my girlfriend so Ah trust ya know what yer doing?”
“Have you two ever been on dates?” mused Fluttershy. She hoped that some pony could tell what to do. She didn’t want to get it wrong.
“Me a date?” giggled Sunburst, “Who would ever want to date me?”
“C’mon Sunburst don’t sell yourself short,” Applejack assured him and patted his shoulder. “I’m sure there is a mare or stallion out there for ya.”
“Mare,” he insisted and straightened his crooked glasses.
“Ah hear ya there partner,” chuckled his companion.
“I’m not partial to either, just as long as they have a good heart,” affirmed Fluttershy.
“And ya really think that heart is in Rainbow Dash?” asked Applejack surprised.
“Well, she deserves a chance as much as anypony. She may brag a lot but maybe she just wants everypony to like her.”
“Yer the most kindest pony Ah know,” stated Applejack like it was an irrefutable fact. “If in anypony can tolerate Rainbow Dash’s ego, it’s you. She does look pretty pumped up about it.”
The three turned to watch Rainbow Dash fly around a field with a buck ball. She blocked another shot from an orange stallion with a monochromatic striped mane. He huffed and puffed after. She nodded and tried to encourage him further. Then she caught Fluttershy’s eye and gleefully waved. Fluttershy felt her cheeks redden as she timidly waved back.
“D’aww,” jeered Applejack,” you two keep on like that and Ah reckon Ah’ll grow to like ‘er.”
***
As class ended Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash made their way to the entrance. Applejack and Sunburst followed closely behind.
“Ok, you two have a good time,” waved Sunburst.
“And if ya break ‘er heart, Rainbow, ya’ll have me ta deal with,” warned Applejack.
“So what sort of thing did you want to do?” asked Rainbow Dash once the lame squad left them.
“I don’t know,” Fluttershy admitted. “What sort of things do you have in mind?”
Rainbow grinned. She looked like the mare with all the answers. Fluttershy let her take the lead and followed gleefully. The day felt like a blur of excitement. They did regular things like they always did but it felt different somehow.
They began their date at the hayburger. Fluttershy decided to have a refreshing salad because the burger grease upset her stomach. Rainbow’s hunger seemed endless but the cyan mare kept herself from wolfing it down in her normal fashion. They shared a milkshake together. Fluttershy giggled as Rainbow tried to race her but got a brain freeze.
Rainbow led her to a photo booth and they took some sweet and silly pictures. Fluttershy marveled that she felt so at ease in front of the camera. Normally she tried to hide behind her mane but Rainbow pushed her face next to hers so she couldn’t. Something about it felt empowering and exciting.
Then they found themselves in the park. Rainbow flew off quickly and returned with ice cream. They walked and talked a bit but eventually settled by a koi fish pond in the middle of the park. Fluttershy couldn’t believe she felt so light and carefree next to another pony. She always felt that there was something more she needed to be or something more she needed to do. Rainbow made her feel safe to be herself.
“Wow, this was a wonderful date,” Fluttershy sighed. “I mean I have nothing to compare it to but so far it’s amazing.”
“Would you say it’s incredibly wonderfully awesome?”
“I think I would. Is that what you were aiming for?”asked Fluttershy. In her comfort Fluttershy found her head resting on Rainbow’s soft blue chest. She felt a little sense of pride that she was able to make Rainbow blush so quickly.
“I guess. To be honest I’ve never been on a date either,” Rainbow admitted.
“Really? I find that hard to believe. You’re confident and strong and fast. I’m surprised mares and stallions aren’t throwing themselves at you.”
“You forgot good-looking. And who says they aren’t? Maybe I was just waiting for the right one.”
Fluttershy suddenly felt her own cheeks burning. She unconsciously whipped her hair to hide her face.
“Don’t do that,” Rainbow suddenly demanded. “Look, I dig the shy thing so long as it’s part of a playful act. But if you truly believe you’re anything less than incredibly wonderfully awesome you’re selling yourself short.”
“Is that how you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Just radiate that aura of ...cool. Do you just believe how awesome you are?”
“Kind of,” Rainbow guessed, scratching the back of her head. “I just set my aim for the things I want. It’s like a star. They shoot across the sky filling everything with light. They can’t help it. They don’t apologize for it. They just are that bright. It just seems wrong somehow to deny yourself of that.”
“But those bright stars, they burn out fast, Dashie.”
“Dashie?! Was that a cutesy pet name from my girlfriend?”
“It’s my first attempt,” Fluttershy recoiled again in embarrassment.
“Relax, I like it...Fluts.”
Fluttershy resettled her head on Rainbow’s chest.
***
The wedding of Cranky Doodle and Matilda Donkey was an unusually huge event. The couple had met most of Equestria in their travels and now they were finally reunited. Their quest to find each other brought many ponies together. They decided, with all the angel attacks, the marriage had to proceed now or never.
Pinkie found herself sitting at Twilight’s table. She sat by herself while Twilight and Trixie danced their hearts out. Pinkie watched as Twilight swooned her way toward the table.
“Pinkie Pie, how’s it going?” the panting unicorn asked.
“They have cider!” Pinkie answered excitedly.
“Where’s Cheese?”
“That noodle brain didn’t...”
“Pinkie,” exclaimed Cheese Sandwich as he finally arrived.
“Oh here you are!” she rounded on him. “Late, with a coat shabby and tie crooked!”
She straightened it for him in a very painful way.
“C’mon! Do you know how hard it is to tie these things with your tongue?” whined Cheese.
“Everypony else here managed.”
“Twilight they act like us in a few years,” giggled Trixie.
Pinkie felt her body freeze in mid tie. Both her and Cheese stared at Trixie with a stunned look.
“Here,” Pinkie quickly changed the subject and handed Cheese a mug. “They have cider! Cider!”
***
Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash returned to the apartment. Fluttershy felt like she was floating on air.
“Well,” began Fluttershy. “I’m sure Pinkie will return soon. We should probably call it a ...”
The young couple jumped slightly as the phone rang. The answering machine quickly picked up and Cheese’s voice echoed through the apartment.
“Hi, guys it’s Cheese. Pinkie really really likes cider. But now she can’t get herself home. So I’ll get her safely to my place which is closer. Behave you two. Squeak.”
“Well what do you know,” snickered Rainbow thoughtfully. “Looks like we have the place to ourselves.”
Fluttershy suddenly felt her breath knocked out of her. She and her new girlfriend were in the apartment alone. She felt her natural inclination to flee begin to work on her muscles. She stopped them and reminded them that Rainbow had shown her one of the best times she ever had. She suddenly remembered Sunburst telling her it was customary to kiss at the end of a date.
“So what do you want to do?” Rainbow asked looking deep into her eyes.
Fluttershy felt her lips get moist and she quickly glanced at Rainbow’s in anticipation. She felt her face flush. She slowly leaned in. Rainbow caught what her intention was and leaned in as well. She stretched her lips out and connected with Rainbow’s.
Warmth spread across both their bodies. Fluttershy felt her mind run like rocket fuel. After what seemed like the most powerful seconds in the world they pulled back and stared at each other and smiled. Fluttershy felt that warm glow tingle throughout her body for a few more seconds. Then she noticed Rainbow’s face.
Fluttershy felt Rainbow’s passion intensify. She felt the hair in her own mane stand on end. Her face contorted in puzzlement seconds before Rainbow lifted her into the air. She was suddenly beset with a shower of tiny kisses. Then she felt her body placed on the nearby table.
“Rainbow wha..” is all Fluttershy could get out before Rainbow kissed her again. Fluttershy could feel the panic setting in. It was moving so fast. Her mind couldn’t keep up. Her chest was heaving. Rainbow was too close.
“Rainbow no!” shouted the frightened mare.
Rainbow’s excitement collapsed as she saw the look of terror on Fluttershy’s face.
“Fluttershy?! Wait! I just got excited,” the cyan mare pleaded. Fluttershy was already running to the door. “Fluttershy no! I’m sorry I ...”
The door slammed. Its sound echoed through the empty home.
“But I stopped when you said no”, whispered Rainbow.
****
Pinkie laid on Cheese’s back. She sprawled across his strong shoulders. She could feel each hoof fall on the bumpy road.
“I’m shorry but shider is shoooo good,” she whined.
“It’s ok, Pinkie. This is the first time we’ve had to do this. It’s nice to know you’re not invincible,” Cheese reassured her.
“Well you know now,” she groaned. “I’m sorry.”
“You said that.”
“Not about now, shilly,” Pinkie slurred. “About before. I shouldn’t have left like that.”
“That’s old news, Pinkie. Don’t worry about it.”
“It still makes me feel bad inside. I didn’t want to hurt you but I just didn’t know if I was ready. I felt silly and nervous and excited. It felt like I was a present. A beautifully wrapped present. I was so beautiful that some pony was too afraid to open me and see what was inside. So I stayed wrapped up and waiting on a table. I had to leave before I got covered in dust. I don’t like dust, Cheese. It can ruin cupcakes and presents.”
Cheese made a pained face. But then returned to his normal stoic expression. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he finally said.
“Oh you, you, you, meanie head!” she cried. She bopped him repeatedly on the head with her hooves but light enough that Cheese felt no pain.
“Ok! Ok! I get it! I give up! Uncle! Uncle! Seriously though. I know what you meant. And I’m sorry. I wanted to give you all the love I had inside but I just felt so afraid I guess. I didn’t mean to hurt you though.”
“Snort. Well duh,” snorted Pinkie. “But it felt like you were taking forever to be less of a fraidy pony. A gift unopened loses its specialness and shininess. So I left before I ended up in the closet covered in dust.”
“Wait, you’re not slurring your words anymore,” realized Cheese as his eyes narrowed. “You’re not drunk are you?”
“Noppers,” said Pinkie as she hopped off him. “I just was trying to make this easier for you. You know my metabolism is four times the normal ponies thanks to that experiment with Funyuns and pez.”
“So you’re not drunk but you’re still coming over?”
“Unless you don’t want me to.”
“Oh I want you too.”
“I just hope Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash don’t have too much fun while I’m gone,” worried Pinkie.
****
A yellow hoof timidly thumped on a large barn door.
“Hold yer horses Ah’m comin’,” Applejack shouted through the door. The sudden burst of light nearly blinded Fluttershy’s tear soaked eyes.
“Fluttershy wha...”
Fluttershy collapsed in sobbing. “I’m not sure she has a good heart after all.”
“Just you rest, Sugarcube. Ah’ll take it from here.”
Applejack ushered her friend to her room and made sure she was comfortable in a spare bedroom. Fluttershy tried to protest but she didn’t have the energy. She barely got the full story out to her orange savior before she fell fast asleep curled in a tight ball.
Applejack sighed then shifted her hat on her head and marched out of the barn.
***
Rainbow Dash sat in the middle of the tatters of her room. She looked up through her own tears and felt the frustration and pain that tore at her. She began another fit of punching her misshapen pillow. She wished that her pillow had been her own face. She had the perfect date. Why couldn’t she have just left it at that? Why did she have to push just a little farther? Fluttershy was way too sensitive to do that to.
“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” she shrieked.
She ran out of energy again and her tantrum caused her to collapse. It was then that she heard the knock at the door.
“Fluttershy! Is that you? Did you lock yourself out?” she gasped and ran to the door. She wrenched open the door and found a stern looking Applejack on the other side.
“Oh no,” Rainbow facehoofed
“We gotta talk, Rainbow.”
“Listen, Applejack, I…”
“What did Ah say Rainbow?!” Applejack exploded as she barged in.
“No I...”
“What did Ah say?!”
“But...”
“Ah said if ya hurt her, ya’ll answer ta me! And Bucky McGillycuddy and Kicks McGee.”
“Just a minute. Wait, who?”
Applejack shifted her back legs by way of introduction. “Ya don’t want ta talk ta them. So ya best talk ta me. Now what in the hay happened?!”
“I stopped when she said no!” Rainbow shouted in exasperation.
“Say what now?”
“I got a little caught up in the moment.”
“Uh huh.”
“And got a little more forceful than I should have.”
“Uh huh.”
“And she said stop, and I did but then she ran away.”
“Rainbow ya know who yer datin’ right?” Applejack demanded. “Ah mean Ah’ve seen this filly jump at ‘er own shadow. How she’s able ta get into a Eva and fight horrible buildin’ crushin’ monsters is nothin’ short of astoundin’. In what world do ya think a mare like that would like her first make out session ta be thrown on a table and scared ta death?”
“I didn’t think of that.”
“Didn’t think is right!”
“Look! I admit it, ok,” Rainbow said, putting her hooves up in defeat. ”I just got over excited but I didn’t mean to scare her. I just care about her a lot.”
“You did scare ‘er, Dash! Consarnit!”Applejack spat. “That little filly is at my place scared stiff ta come to ‘er own home!”
“Oh jeez, what am I going to AJ?”
“Excuse me?”
“Applejack.”
“Well fer now yer gonna leave ‘er alone. Yer gonna back off. Let ‘er have ‘er space. Ah’ll go home and tell ‘er that just maybe ya have that great heart underneath all that stupid.”
“What did you call me?” puffed up Rainbow instinctively.
“Ya wanna meet my friends now? They’ve been itchin’ to go right through yer face!”
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I was stupid.”
“Ok, now I mean it, Dash,” Applejack emphasized. “Ya leave ‘er be until she sorts this out. If yer lucky and patient ya might just get yer girlfriend back.”
Applejack wasn’t sure if Rainbow Dash fully understood how much she had scared her yellow friend, but she knew what sorry looked like. Rainbow was sorry. Applejack marched home letting her anger burn off on the way.
*****
The morning found a very excited Pinkie Pie bounding into the control room. The rest of her coworkers looked a little rough around the edges. She smiled cheerfully as Twilight approached holding her morning coffee.
“How did the rest of the night go?” asked Twilight cheekily.
“Great! I had sex with Cheese!” blurted Pinkie excitedly.
Twilight fountained her coffee out onto the control room floor.
“Pinkie! You can’t just blurt something like that out!” the startled unicorn chided.
“But that’s what you wanted to know.”
“Well, yeah, but normally there is a lot more subtlety.”
“That’s silly. Ponies should just ask what they want to know.”
“But did you two make up first?” asked Twilight.
“Kinda. We talked a lot about the past and then we had sex,” recounted Pinkie.
“Pinkie!”
“Wait Twilight! My Pinkie sense is tingling.” The party pony said as her body began twitching in strange unusual ways.
“It’s not another angel is it?”
“No it’s something else. I’ll let you know.”
***
Cheese Sandwich opened a hatch that implicitly said not to open in big red and white signs. He turned to talk to boneless then found a party cannon in his face. He braced himself for the impact but it didn’t come.
“Ahh ha,” snickered Pinkie. “Caught you.”
“I knew you were there, Pinkie. My cheesy sense told me you sensed me.”
“This is not a good idea, Cheese. Ponies around here get really mad when you start snooping. I’ve heard they take you to a big monster inside that gobbles you up.”
“Is it a big white monster?” Cheese asked.
“Yeah.”
“Does it look like this?”
He opened the hatch and ushered Pinkie to look inside. Pinkie could feel that this room was filled with wrong. She hesitantly wandered in and found a huge cathedral like room. It opened up sixty feet high and shone with a faint white glow. In the center was a large white creature that had its appendages strapped to a “T” shaped form. It was as big as the Evas themselves. It wore a dark mask to cover the multiple eyes on its face. A large lance stuck out of its chest. Everything in Pinkie’s body was screaming at her. She knew this was something horribly bad.
“Yeah, exactly like that. Wait, I’ve seen that potato before,” she sputtered.
“It’s not a potato.”
“It looks like a potato. See all the eyes.”
“It’s not a potato Pinkie,” corrected Cheese, placing a hoof to his forehead.
“Gasp! I know where I’ve seen that potato before! It’s that nasty giant from Yakyakistan! I saw it before I was hidden in that rock.”
“We just call it My Pretty Pony. Even though it doesn’t look pretty. Or like a pony.”