Book one: The portal to were my heart belongs.
The multiverse. One of the great theories that have enchanted our minds and opened up new ways of thinking.
If it is true that there is an infinite number of worlds, then there is no limit of the possibilities. Arthur and his knights of the round table and the wizzard merlin by their side. The ring bearer frodo and his brethren, and all the superheroes in the comic books must exist somewhere in the universes.
If so there must be a way to connect to those worlds, but how?
Now matter how much i read about it there is not a satisfying explanation. The technology needed to do so is years and years ahead from now.
But somehow i think there must be another way to do it, although there is no other way according to my beloved physics. I still can't help but think about if magic existed then maybe it could work. But first you have to find it.
My name is Mikael, and my life is not tragic or sad in any way. I live in a big nice apartment in a good neighborhood and i have plenty of friends and a loving family. But i still feel an empty space in my heart that i have been trying to fill for so many years without any luck.
When I was about eleven years old I had a dream that soon after i woke up left a scar. I do not remember the dream but i do know what it did to me, and thats when i felt it for the first time. The sensation that something was just not right in my life. I started to hang out a lot more with my friends so that I wouldn't think about it. We went to the arcade a lot, and some of the games made me happier, especially one where you played a knight who were supposed to save his lost love from an evil sorcerer, and all throughout the game you helped all the people in need on the way. I played it so many times that I got all the highest scores on it. But after a while the emptiness reappear, and none of my friends noticed. I needed to find something else to put my mind into.
When I started the seventh grade I found that i actually liked to study, and when i started to be serious about it i was once again unaware about my hole. I got the highest grades and my parents was really proud of me because before i was barely advancing to the next grade, and my friends always turned to me when they needed help in school.
Alas then again my studying was not enough to keep the hollow sensation at bay, and no matter how much i read it was not enough.
Then i started to read fantasy. That genre engulfed me as i read trough all the works of Eddings and J.R.R Tolkien and many others. It spoked to me in a way that nothing els had.
I still concentrated on my studies and was still the best student on my school. And yet again it was not enough i found out when i was in the middle of ninth grade. My mom noticed that there was something wrong, so she introduced me to the art of painting which was her profession in hope that it would help me. And it did, for a short while.
I graduate from junior high and started on one of the finest art high schools in Sweden, that teach art, music and acting.
Where i learned how to play the piano and how to act properly. I took courses in dancing, composing, writing and many other things in hope they would cover my void that was starting to grow to pain. But now i couldn't hide it completely anymore, no matter how much i tried it was still there.
It was getting harder and harder now to ease it, no matter how many things i did. School is over now and i got myself a good job in a theatre where i was starring in many of the plays. My day was filled with attempts to cover my emptiness. I wake up, get dressed, go on the internet to find new things to try, make and eat an advanced vegetarian breakfast, go to work to rehearse, go home, paint, make an even more advanced dinner that was also vegetarian so that i must concentrate on it, met up with some friends, play my piano and write some music, go on my coputer and search yet again for something new, go to bead and read a book about physics and then go to sleap.
It goes on like that for about two years until one morning just three months after my twentieth birthday i once again stumble upon a My Little Pony friendship is magic website, and for once it actually catches my interest. I have seen many sites like this and read some of the memes, but i have never watched the show that i first thought was only for little girls. I read a post that some guy had put up saying that those out there that haven't watched the show should give it a chance and that they would love it.
It was a weekend so i had way to much spare time according to me, so i thought *What the heck, why not?* I watched the first episode and thought that this was not half bad. I watched the next episode and was then sold, and before I knew it I had watched the entire first season, and then i felt something strange. The void in my heart had disappeared... I had always felt it, even when I had my mind on other things it was still there. But now it was completely gone. For the rest of the weekend I rewatched the first season before I watched season two the next weekend. And when i woke up monday morning my mind was at ease for the first time in... forever. I ate a breakfast of normal toast and cereal and then walked to work whistling on my way to the theatre. I had the best day in ages and was always thinking of MLP as i stood on the stage rehearsing macbeth. When i got home i felt that I had to celebrate and opened a bottle of my favorite champagne, i knew that i had saved it for a good occasion and that I had work in the morning, but i dont know if there will be any better time to open it than now. So i took a box of strawberries from the fridge, filled a glass with champagne and then sat down on my sofa and thought about watching MLP season one again but turned down the thought in the fear that if i watched it to many times my hole would return. So instead i watched Lord of the rings and went to bed when it was done.
The next morning i feel the same and had no side effect of the yesterdays champagne. But the morning after that one i felt a sting in my chest once more, and the day after that was worse, and again the day after that. The everyday felt like an endless struggle for survival. But today was finally friday, and as soon i got home I watched season two of My Little Pony and rewatched it until sunday evening.
Monday to friday was the exact same as last week and when i got home friday evening and watch four episodes into season one something struck me. I had just been enjoying the show and wished what every brony have, that I could go to their world and live there, and then i figured out why i am not satisfied although i have a great life, and why my little pony is chasing away my pain. *I do not belong here... I belong in equestria....*