//------------------------------//
// Twilight vs. Bronies 
// Story: Student Six's - Root of All Evil 
// by CrackedInkWell 
//------------------------------//

Spike held his nervous breath on the way back home. A couple of hours later since the mock-trial, and the dragon was almost too scared to return to the castle. He still didn’t let on to the others that the Headmare has found out about the club’s existence. If anything, he barely ate anything while he and the six students had their dinner, nor was there any decision made for the next trail. In fact, Spike had to excuse himself early in fear that they would catch that something might be wrong. Of course, he would need to get back to them to explain his behavior tomorrow. For now, however, he had to face Twilight’s verdict.

The Castle of Friendship had a light on. Spike knew that it was coming from Twilight’s bedroom, no doubt waiting for him to return to either approve of the secret club or that she will come in to disband it altogether. Naturally, the dragon feared the latter because of the consequences of betraying the student’s trust. So even before he reached the front door, he was trying to come up with a plan or at least some argument in case the worst does come to the worst. 

With a heavy sigh, he pushed open the double doors.

“Spike, is that you?” Twilight’s voice was heard, echoing through the crystal halls.

Spike gulped. “Y-Yeah. Where are you?”

“In my room. Would you come here?”

Making his way up the staircase and down towards Twilight’s room, he almost imagined himself to be a prisoner on death row, walking towards his place of execution. With every footstep, he could practically hear the rhythm sneer-drum that accompanied his march towards a firing squad. 

At the end of the hall, Twilight’s door was opened. Through it, Spike can see her on her bed with a quill pen and dozens of papers floating neatly in her aura. When he was close enough, Twilight looked up from her paperwork. “There you are Spike, come on in, I want to talk to you.”

Taking in a deep breath, he walked into the room. “So, uh… how’s the show?”

Putting the papers away, Twilight had Spike’s full attention. “For starters, I kinda see why the students wanted to keep this a secret. The sex jokes alone would be enough to give it a strike.”

Spike winced. “Somehow, I sense a but in that.”

She nodded, “But with that said, most of the stuff I heard from Sandbar and Yona were, for the most part, pretty accurate. Not all of it, but I can tell that these two have done their homework and presented it in a persuasive but funny way. The structure of the trial isn’t like any courtroom in the world, but to be fair, I don’t think it was supposed to be. Overall, the arguments presented were consistent, easy to follow, funny, and I saw that they were using some critical thinking skills. Personally, I would have tone down the sex jokes a bit, but with that said, I’m giving the club my seal of approval.”

A relieved sigh escaped from Spike’s lips. “Thank Celestia!” He put a claw over his chest. “I almost thought that you were going to force to close it.”

Twilight hopped out of bed. “I wished that I knew about this sooner. It’s a bit disheartening that no one dared to come to me. Yes, I did want the clubs at the school to have academic value, but from what I saw, it has all the skills that any creature would need to perform later in life. I didn’t mean to make it so unapproachable.”

“I think it’s just from the impression that the students got from that rule you put in that formed this secret club.”

“Well, still,” she smiled, “you actually did make a good judge.”

“Thanks.” Spike nodded before realizing something. “Hey, you said that you wanted to ask a favor from me?”

“Oh! I almost forgot. Did you come up with what you’re going to be doing next week?”

“Well…” Spike rubbed the back of his neck. “That’s the thing, I was so worried about the fate of the club that we didn’t get into what we’re doing next week. Why?”

Twilight smiled, “I want in.”

This caught Spike completely off guard. “Excuse me!”

“You heard me. I want in on this mock-trial thing. After all, I saw that it was fun and that doing so would give my skittish students my official seal of approval by taking part in it.”

“That…” Spike blinked. “I suppose that could work. Only I’m not sure if any of the other students would be willing to debate with you.”

“I think I could get someone else to do that.”

“Well… if you say so. But what are you going to argue about that’s the Root of All Evil?”

With a twinkle in her eye, Twilight smirked, “Oh I have something that will break the ice.”





No one knew what was going on. As far as the students were aware, a case was going to happen, only no one had any idea what it was going to be about nor whose doing it. Spike let on that it was going to be a surprise, much to the student’s confusion. He only reassured that there was one in the works, and he got new members to act as the lawyers for their case.

On that night when the students gathered underground in that crystal chamber, the six students who made their most recent cases sat in the very front row. Each hoped to get a closer look at these new members that will be coming in. 

“It all seems a bit odd, don’t you think?” Ocellus inquired of her friends.

“Tell me about it,” Gallus looked at the door where Spike usually enters. “I thought new members are supposed to be around for a while before they make cases.”

“Did Spike change rule?” Yona asked.

“If he did,” Smolder folded her arms, “I’m shocked he didn’t bother to ask any of us.”

“Speaking of Spike not telling any of us,” Silverstream said, “Are you sure you guys didn’t catch what this week’s case is about?”

“I tried to talk to Spike,” Sandbar informed, “but every time I brought it up, he always changed the conversation. Like he’s deliberately trying to keep it a secret.” Then the doors opened and Spike in his powdered wig walked in, to which the members began to applaud. “I think we’re about to find out now.”

Spike gave a few waves before flying up to his high desk to sit on before banging on his gavel. “Order! Order! Settle down! Shut up! Let’s get started. The Underground Comedy Club is now open!” The members got quiet as the show has begun. “I’m Judge Spike and this is my courtroom. Where I put on trial all the things that make me understand why Fluttershy prefers animals to everything else. Tonight we have a very special case: Twilight Sparkle vs. Bronies. Which is the Root of All Evil!?”

Although there was some confusion, the audience did applaud politely.

“But first, as always, a quick summary for those who are not in the know. Twilight Sparkle has risen from your typical unicorn mage to a Goddess in training. She has accomplished many things in recent years from publishing a controversial book to saving Equestria more times than the military, spy agencies, and the entire diplomatic department combined. Although she has been a princess for a few years, she is expected to replace Celestia and Luna so she can finally fulfill her destiny that countless villains envy over – being the dictator of Equestria. 

“Her contenders are a group of fans from another dimension. In a world that sees our reality as a cartoon for young fillies, it only makes sense that the majority of the fans are fully grown, adult males. It is a fanbase so big that it has become a noticeable subculture where it falls short of cult status – but only just. These fans from another world make head cannons of every creature they see, come up with a billion pieces of art for it, and lots of sexy fanfiction to write about.

“Here to make the case that Twilight Sparkle is the Root of All Evil, she’s the Harbinger of insanity and Equestria's future dictator – Twilight Sparkle!”

“What!” The entire chamber shouted in shock and frightened murmurs as the double doors swing open. All eyes were on Twilight in a suit and tie, complete with a briefcase. She walked confidently towards the nearest bench among the confusion of the students around her.

“And here to argue that Bronies are the Root of All Evil, he’s the unkempt bull in a china shop – Discord!”

The Ex-Lord of Chaos made his entrance through the ceiling where clouds suddenly parted and a choir of other Discords sang Discord’s praises while he in a black gown, a powdered wig, and a briefcase descended down towards the other bench. Upon sitting down, he noticed Twilight, “Nice briefcase,” he said opening his and pulling out a roll of sushi. “I’ll trade this for your over ripped banana.”

“Hey,” Spike leaned forward from his high desk, “you got any chocolate pudding in that? No? Well, let’s get this show on the road. Twilight, how about you go first?”

“Of course, Your Honor,” said Twilight, standing up and facing an audience that’s on edge. “I know what some of you are thinking. Why have I come here to argue before an underground comedy club that I’m the real Root of All Evil? Don’t I have better things to do such as grading papers, going on a reading binge, or plot my tyrannical brain to finalize the permanent enslavement of a whole nation? Yes, such things are indeed fun, but instead, I’ve decided that I should finally rise up and overthrow this beloved club in a blaze of glory. But in the tradition of every villain, before I do that, I’m going to give long speeches about friendship and how evil I am.” Out of this joke, there grew some nervous laughter.

“Sure, Equestria has seen plenty of villains over the years, have they? Nightmare Moon, my opponent, Chrysalis, Sombra, Starlight Glimmer, I could go on. Yes, they have done some pretty evil things. However, I can argue that none of them could hold a candle compared to me. Why? Because most of them were defeated by me. And if they were defeated by me, then imagine how powerful I truly am when crushing the hopes and dreams of these wannabe conquers. It’s the first step you see for my plan to take over the world – take out the competition.”

With a collective “Ooh!” from all around the room, to which Spike banged on his gavel. 

“The very fact that I’m here at all should prove beyond a doubt that I truly am – the Root of All Evil!” The was a polite applause as Twilight returned to her bench.

Spike looked over to his friend, “Good luck, Discord.”

This modest but simple joke did get a laugh from the members as Discord stood up, adjusted his tie, and floated over towards the audience.

“Now, what my opponent says is indeed true – she’s secretly the villain in all of this. She may have turned me into stone, cast a child into Tartarus, and forgot Fluttershy’s birthday that one time. Yet, none of these crimes could be compared to the evil that is the Brony. What’s a Brony you innocent creatures may ask? Allow me to present to you all – exhibit A!” 

Pointing upwards, a hologram of a two-legged, pale-skinned, somewhat overweight creature appeared before the club. There were sounds of confusion, terror, and laughter at the same time from seeing what the thing was wearing. Judging on the facial hair, they deduct this thing was a male with brown shorts, a sky-blue shirt with the blue eyes of a pony printed on it, a pair of fake blue wings on its back along with an obvious multi-colored wig completed with pointy ears.

“What you are seeing is a random Brony from the Universe: 1937492849502103-11-A. Do keep in mind, that not all Bronies look like… whatever this is. But what unites all of these so-called Bronies is that they see our world as a fictional place. A cartoon to be exact. This strange species look at the adventures, the lessons, and overall story and say with one collective voice – ‘Hey! Those two strangers should kiss.’” This managed to get a laugh from the members. 

“The reason why Bronies are the Root of All Evil is that they take everything they see from our world way too seriously. Every time that something childish happens, they magically forget that this ‘show’ isn’t made for them! ‘How dare they make Discord McHandsome out of character in the last season! What were they thinking in giving this socially awkward weirdo a not-so-well-thought-out plan for Twilight! So unrealistic! What did they think they were writing this for? Little girls?’

“If you Bronies got offended by that joke, then it only proves that you are – the Root of All Evil!” Discord concluded to a noticeable louder applause from the audience before sitting down on his bench, whereby he made it float.

Spike hummed in thought, “Now this will be an interesting case: my master or a bunch of alien fanboys? Twilight, begin with your opening statement.”

Twilight stood up and trotted over towards the audience. “So, I’m competing against another species of fans. Did I mention the dictator thing?” This managed to get a chuckle out from the members. “Truth be told, there are plenty of reasons why I’m the Root of All Evil. For starters, have you ever noticed that despite my genius-level intellect, my pursuit of all knowledge, my experimentation; I seem to be an idiot when it comes to basic social interactions? I could tell you what Star Swirl’s second law of magic is by heart, what modern-day country Princess Platinum was born in, and how many cups of sugar that Celestia prefers to have in her tea. Yet, when it comes to things like say... two friends fighting during a sleep-over, I have to console the book: ‘A Guide to Friendship for Dummies.’” This, to her delight, managed to get a few laughs, she smiled at this before continuing.

“Then there’s my unhealthy tendency to give everycreature, even the worst of the worst, a whole lot of second chances. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are times when doing so can be beneficial. Yet, it has taken me a very long time to grasp that second chances should be given out – when warranted. Let me ask all of you, how many chances can you give someone when every time they keep screwing up their chance to be reform? Two? Three? Maybe five times? But not me! I give them all the chances. Sure, they may have destroyed homes, ruined crops, burned Equestria to the ground, messed up the time-space continuum, destroyed Canterlot Castle… again, but you know what, they should get a second chance! I’m the worst kind of evil where my attitude of doing the same thing in hopes of getting a different result, makes me the very definition of insane.

“And speaking of insanity, if you asked my friends they will tell you that they have invented a word for me where I would go over obsessive. Freaking out so much over something that’s objectively a small issue, that I would enter into a phase called ‘Twilighting.’ A perfect example of this behavior has legendary status here in Ponyville known as the Smarty Pants incident.” There were mummers from the members. “For those who don’t know, back at a time when I was sending letters to Princess Celestia, I was so worried that I had nothing to write about that I decided to make a friendship problem. And by that, I mean casting a Want-it-Need-it Spell on my old toy where everyone looking at it would instantly fall in love with it. Think about it, if I was able to do that over a friendship report, imagine what I might do when I become a dictator? Note to self: bomb Yakyakistan next Thursday.”

This managed to get some laughs as Twilight returned to her seat.

“Hey Discord,” Spike turned to the floating Discord that was on the ceiling, “what do you got?”

Drifting down towards the audience, Discord hummed in thought. “Bronies are the Root of All Evil because they take one good look at our world; with all its colorful characters, rich lessons, and fascinating cultures, then they ruin it. Let me explain how. In the world where Bronies live, some of the more talented animators have not only created short films that try to faithfully recreate our world perfectly; but they go one step further to demolish it. In one such film called Smile.exe, it shows Pinkie Pie, with an unusually wide smile on her face, who proceeds to brutally murder all her friends. Or in a film called Epic Rage Time: The Incredible Derp, where a Derpy Hooves goes into a rage after Carrot Cake sold the last muffin to destroy Ponyville. Or better yet, a masterpiece called: A Colt Classic, where our beloved Twilighting Twilight sacrifices Rainbow Dash soul to be eaten by the Sun God by burning her alive. Sheesh, these fans have a bigger grudge against ponies in general than my Ex.”

This got the audience to laugh loud enough for Spike to bang on his gavel.

“Speaking of murdering ponies, the Bronies patch of literature is no stranger to this. If this world had read even a portion of the fanfiction that they have made, we would declare war on them in a heartbeat. There are almost countless examples where every creature from Twilight to Spike, Gallus to Button Mash, and everyone else under the sun has at least one fanfic where they have been beaten, raped, murdered, shipped, and gender-swapped – sometimes all in the same chapter! Some of these writers have done unspeakable things with their keyboards that even ticked me off. I mean my human counterpart dating Celestia? What kind of degenerate would want to do that?” He inquired, sneering directly at the author. 

“But one of the biggest reasons why Bronies are the Root of All Evil is because they made an abundance of… how do I put this? Pornographic film, literature, and fan art. Lots and lots of fan art. I know what you’re thinking, I’m literally going below the belt on this one. But no! Every day for almost ten years and counting, there has been at least one form of this naughty artwork posted. No ‘character’ is too young, no species is excluded, no type of relationship is restricted, and the acts that are depicted in some of these would make the Marquis de Sade kick himself for not thinking of it first.” The audience got a good laugh at this that even Spike couldn’t bear himself to bang on his gavel. “Personally, I’m still upset that none of these imaginative Bronies, with all the time on their hands, haven’t come up with me having breasts so big that it would break my spine and a well-endowed member that would reach from here to Saddle Arabia. Where’s my fantasy fanfic of that, huh writers?!”

After the audience applauded, Discord drifted over back to the bench where another Discord in a toga waves a palm leaf and feeds him grapes. Spike banged on his gavel to call to order. “Never have I encountered a case where I have to choose an evil genius or the fandom from Tartarus. The thought of choosing which of these is worst is enough to give me a migraine. For this, I’m gonna need some answers. So ready or not – here comes my Inquisition.”

With the cheers from the club members, Spike flew down from his high desk to the ground. He faced Twilight first. “So, you claim that your past mistakes are what makes you the Root of All Evil?” Twilight nodded, “But what about all the good you’ve done like… I don’t know… saving Equestria dozens of times?”

“To be fair, when that happened, I didn’t do it alone. I just give out my infamous Friendship lectures while my friends do all the heavy lifting.”

There was a confused mummer from all around the chamber, even Spike opened his mouth, only for nothing to come out of it for a while. He suddenly turned to Discord. “Hey Discord, surely these Bronies aren’t about destruction and debauchery. If these fans were inspired by our world, wouldn’t they also come up with some stuff that shows the appreciation in what we’re trying to accomplish?”

“Sometimes, yes,” Discord nodded, “there are some fans that create works that show the values of friendship. While at other times, some of them are keener on torture porn. In fact, did you know that one of the most well-known fanfics these Bronies have created is a tale called Cupcakes?”

Spike tilted his head, “What could be so bad about a pastry?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Did I mention that it’s a story about Pinkie torturing Rainbow Dash under Sugar Cube corner until she ends up dead; and in one ending, she uses her flesh to be baked into cupcakes to be sold to ponies? No? Well, now you know.”

A queasy look came on Spike’s face, trying as hard as he could to keep his disgust from manifesting in his mouth. Swallowing, he turned back to Twilight. “Uh, Twilight, if these Bronies have written a fanfic about you, what do you suppose it would be about?”

Twilight hummed in thought, “Knowing how evil I am, I suppose my story would be about me experimenting on my friends until they either explode or something like that.”

“Objection, Your Honor,” Discord said suddenly, “there IS a story like that, and it’s called The Experiments of Twilight Sparkle.”

“I object too,” Twilight retorted, “Spike didn’t ask you about that.”

Spike looked between her and Discord, “For once, I’m gonna overrule that.” he turned to him, “Discord, I know that in most fandoms, they tend to make comics out of the shows or books they come across. From what I’ve seen, even from the Friendship Journal fandom, even they have made some interesting, funny comics. Are you saying that the Bronies would ruin this too?”

“Yes I am,” Discord nodded. “Oh boy, where in the multi-verse do I begin with this? Should I talk about the series Princess Molestia? Or how about the one comic series where a teenage Scootaloo gets pregnant, gives birth, and that foal is almost instantly taken away by a bunch of rotten rich ponies? Perhaps I could recall the one where the CMC - still foals mind you - prostitute themselves to get their cutie marks. Maybe I could recall the tale of how Luna, firmly believing that Pinkie Pie had killed Celestia practically burns her alive?”

Spike hummed in thought as he stepped towards the very center of the chamber. “One last question for both of you. If I don’t stop this evil tonight, what do you think is going to happen? Twilight, present to us your personal version of Tartarus in your Ripple of Evil.”

There was the loudest applause from the members as Spike flew back up to his high desk. The lights dimmed and a spotlight shone down to the center of the room. 

Twilight stepped into the light to address them. “If everything goes according to plan when Celestia and Luna step down, I shall spring my diabolical plan to have every city, town, and village have at least one loudspeaker that will play my friendship lectors to the masses on loop. Slowly, they will be driven mad as they hear me go on and on with how friendship is worth fighting for, or how friendship could overcome anything, or that friendship friendship friendship friendship friendship, friendship, and friendship. This will eventually drive everypony out of their homes. But since they can't go anywhere without hearing my annoying lectures being played out, it would force them to move out of the country. Thus giving me all the excuses I would need to finally sell parts of Equestria to other creatures to move in the vacant homes and villages. Then I would play the speeches again, thus getting the creatures to try to sell their homes. But since all the real estate ponies have moved out, they would have no choice but to come to me. And thus, I will become the wealthiest pony in history.”

While Twilight spoke, there was genuine laughter from the audience as she spoke her absurd plan. By the time she stepped out from the spotlight, there were cheers from the members.

“Discord, you got anything that tops a dastardly real-estate plan?”

Floating in the spotlight Discord pulled on a cord and put a lit flashlight under his face.

“If nothing is done about the Bronies, eventually they will gain the desire to find some way to come to Equestria. They will hire the brightest minds to create a dimensional portal to our world. Soon hundreds of thousands of these Bronies would cross over, invading Equestria to show their fan art, get us to read their fanfictions, and sign their comics. When the ponies of Equestria get a good look at these less-than-flattering works, they will be both horrified and disgusted enough to unite all the armies in the world to declare war on the homeworld of the Bronies. Our magic and their science will collide in a bloodbath, the likes of which have never been seen before. In the end, the Equestrians will develop a bomb so destructive that it ends up destroying the entire multi-verse. Meanwhile, in another universe, someone is writing a fanfic about it.”

With the lights coming back on, Discord drifted over behind the tall desk while the members applauded politely.

Spike banged on his gavel a few times. “Now it’s time for you two to make your final arguments before I decide which is worse. Twilight, do you have anything else to share with the class?”

Humming in thought, Twilight got up from her bench, at first, she didn’t know what else to accuse herself of, that was until she looked at Spike that she got an idea. “Well, one of my greatest reasons for me being the Root of All Evil is because of the way that I have treated the Judge.”

This took Spike completely off guard. “Excuse me?”

“Think about it, you’re my adopted little brother, and yet I treat and insisted to call you my number one assistant. You tend to take the blunt whenever I lose my mind. You do the majority of chores while I read or reorganize the library. I had you learn how to read, write, and do these chores way younger than any normal foal would have at your age. That’s how evil I am, I have sacrificed the Judge’s foalhood and have him be my personal servant. If that is not evil, I don’t know what is.”

Spike’s mouth opened and closed for a minute, even after Twilight had sat back down. “Well…” he finally said, “you’re not wrong. Discord, you got anything else to add?”

“Just one,” he said drifting over the club members. “Bronies are the Root of All Evil because they also have an analyst community. Yes, these fans have their own critics that they look up to every time an episode is aired. If you thought those Gabby Gum’s articles were harsh, then listen to this portion of a real review of an incident involving Fluttershy assisting the bad guys of Daring Do.”

Pulling out a small but see-through scroll, he tapped on a few buttons and switches to show two still imagines of very angry ponies that no one in the audience has ever seen before. “On the left is a critic named Thespio, and on the right is one named Voice of Reason. Obviously, this review is edited, but what these two have to say about Fluttershy… well, I’ll let them speak.” Tapping once more, the scroll suddenly expanded to where it was big enough to see these critics up close. 

The film began to play with a sudden close-up to a blue stallion with a brown mane, a red shirt, and a pair of masks as a cutie mark on the left. “Fluttershy, sweetie, you’ve grown so much over the course of the series. Sure, you’ve hit some bumps here and there, but you still grew. You’ve even shown you could be downright hilarious at times. And you’ve slowly become my third favorite mane six. But Holy Mother of God, your naivety was on such maximum overdrive it’s not even funny! Yes, your kindness can be a great strength, but you’re usually not this gullible! Not even with Discord and Keep Calm and Flutter On were you this quick to trust obvious villains! Also, you were there in Daring Don’t! You saw with your own eyes how Caballeron is obviously the bad guy! Rainbow Dash has actually been through a lot of these adventures alongside Daring Do in person! You have no bucking reason to not believe her!... Holy bucking Hell Fluttershy! What is wrong with you!? You were a flat-out dumbass in this episode! Sure, it’s important to know both sides of a story to reach a fair final judgment, but not when one side is spewing nothing but complete garbage that’s not worth listening to!... Why are you choosing to side with what’s clearly a smear campaign that one of your best friends you’ve known for years says that’s it’s all complete lies?!” 

“And if that weren’t enough,” Discord said as he moved the film ahead somewhat. "Just listen to what this one has to say.” With a few more taps, the film now focused on the other pony of a light green coat with glasses and a scroll as a cutie mark. Another tap and the film plays again.

“We’ve mentioned before she’s an idiot for trusting Caballeron and his hench-ponies despite reading all the books and actually seeing for herself how bad these guys are back in Daring Don’t. Yet, there’s something else that, to my knowledge, hasn’t been talked about. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but It Ain’t Easy Being Breezy was a very important episode testing Fluttershy’s element of harmony… Fluttershy learned a very important moral about the dangers of being overly hospitable to where someone can abuse and take advantage of your kindness. This episode defenestrates that moral and thinks it’s a good idea to listen to why Sven Gallup is the way he is… You can’t just ignore continuity in order to fit the story you want to tell. Trust me, I wish I could ignore the events of No Second Prances and Yakety Sax myself. Now, if the story in question turned out really good in the end, I’d forgive some of the consistency hiccups like I did between Dark and Dawn. We didn’t get that here.”

Closing up the massive scroll back to its tiny former self, Discord put it behind his pocket.

“Imagine for a moment if Fluttershy herself heard that. I wouldn’t be shocked if these two ended up in Equestria, she would put out a restraining order for harassment, that she wouldn't allow either of them to come within five miles of her. But knowing her, she would get it after she floods her cottage with her own tears.”

There was a collective “Oooh!” all around the room, followed by a mutter of voices to the point where Spike had to bang on his gavel.

“Order! Order! I think I’ve heard enough. Let’s wrap this up in my Final Verdict.” Spike took in a long, calming breath. “To be blunt with all of you, out of all the cases I’ve heard since this club started, this one has to be the hardest decision I have to make. Twilight has plenty of things that most sensible creatures could complain about. Until recently, I only got a book on my birthday. Discord, I get your beef with this alien fandom, especially how they would take all this stuff that’s happening who-knows-how-far so seriously and personally. Even the Friendship Journal Fans didn’t go this far. At the same time, I do realize that I’m in a lose-lose situation. If I rule that Twilight is the Root of All Evil, she would ground me until the day I die. If I rule that these Bronies are the Root of All Evil, I might end up pissing them so much, that they would make that portal to impale me on a stick.

“So, therefore, the Root of All Evil is… Sven Gallup!” He declared, banging on his gavel.

“WHAT!” Both Twilight and Discord asked in surprise unison.

“Hey, it’s my courtroom, my rules. I sentence Sven Gallup to spend the rest of his life in a hut in Griffonstone, my court is abjured!” With a strike of the gavel, the show was brought to an end. 

Unlike the other times in so many cases, Spike did not leave the chamber. He waited for that moment of truth after Twilight and Discord shook hooves. There was murmuring all around as the full lights went up, the tone in the dozens upon dozens of voices was unanimously uncertain of what was going to happen next. 

Then, Twilight took center stage, her horn lit up for a brief moment, summoning a piece of parchment and a quill pen. 

“Uh… Twilight?” Spike asked uncertainly, taking off the powdered wig, but she held a wing up as if to tell him to wait a moment as she finished this up.

She cleared her throat. “Everyone, may I have your attention, please? I have an important announcement to make.” Twilight waited for the voices and concerns to quiet down until she was certain that she had everyone’s consideration. “I have been made aware that due to the rules that I have set up for the clubs at the school, it has caused all of you to form this underground club. Yes, my intention was and is to officialize groups that would overall devote to academic purposes. By the looks of it, it seems that I have unintentionally frightened all of you into silence. Now, truthfully, I’m not against opinions, speech, or press on school grounds, as long as they are presented in a civil, yet harmless way. I understand that you formed this club to vent out the issues that other clubs wouldn’t allow. After taking part in this and seeing a previous session, I’ve come to understand both the appeal and its benefits. For all this, I owe every one of you my apology.

“So, I have made my decision. As Headmare of the School of Friendship, this club will not be hosted during school hours – but,” she quickly added, “as long as this club is hosted after school hours, and that the arguments made here are both civil yet, presented as satire. As long as it encourages students about persuasion and using critical thinking – then I give my stamp of approval.” After signing her signature on the document, she showed it to the members. “I hereby disband the secrecy, and officially declare that the Underground Comedy Club is now, open!” 

The entire chamber erupted in the loudest cheers and applause that was heard that night. Students rushed the center stage to give their relived thanks to Twilight. 

Upon the high desk, Spike let out a sigh of his own. Discord slithered up next to him. 

“Between us,” Discord told him, “this was an interesting experience. You do this every week?”

“Yeah?” He nodded. “Why?”

“Well, I was just wondering if it’s possible to do this again? I can name a few other things that I’d like to uh… make my case about.”

Spike told him that he’ll consider it. For the moment, he knows that he has several things to explain to his friends. Still, looking out to the Chamber at the sheer joy that their club was not only any longer a secret, but even Twilight had approved of. From now on, they can finally say whatever they wanted outside of school hours. Spike briefly wondered what this will mean for the club’s future. If Twilight knew about it, would she get the other teachers involved? But for now, at least, the chamber was filled with rhapsodic relief.