"Is this guy with you?" was all the stormtroopers asked. Barro was held between them, his hooves cuffed. He smiled at Dan and the others.
Dan sighed, then reluctantly said, "Yeah, he's with us."
On the bridge of the Chimaera, activity was constant. Crewmen were talking, even arguing in the pits below the command walkway while the commanding officers, Thrawn included, monitored everything. The officers had to have their attention in multiple places at once and even then, Thrawn took note of the pony being brought aboard his ship.
"This one is responsible for quite a lot of destruction. Particularly against the Empire," Thrawn said.
Barro looked up at the Chiss and grinned. "I aim to please. And I shoot to kill."
"Quite," Thrawn smiled back.
"Tell me, grand admiral, did Prefsbelt IV's academy ever recover from my... unscheduled visit?"
Thrawn's smile faded. "Still a large collection of craters. Testament to your wanton destruction."
As did Barro's. "Like Taris. Like Alderaan, and Vo-"
"Oh, will you two queens shut the hell up?" Dan demanded. He stepped between them. "I really don't care what the two of you have been doing with one another for the past umpteen years. However many times you strutting, posturing pompous children have traded blows, or who has the biggest dick-shaped spaceship. You will both STOW IT and SHUT THE FUCK UP while we work on rescuing my friends."
Barro, a white pony, Thrawn, a dark-blue alien. And Dan between them. Twilight watched and imagined them as herself, Celestia and Luna. The conflict between two and her in between, now Dan, being the bridge to harmony. The very, obnoxiously loud bridge to harmony.
Apart from the occasional murmur, the bridge had been silenced by Dan's outburst. "That's better," Dan said.
"We're already on a course for the planet's moon."
"The planet is called Equestria," Dan said, interjecting.
"Yes, Equestria," Thrawn said, slight way of correcting himself. Whether or not he was actually letting Dan lead or not, no one could tell. "At present, we'll be within range in a matter of minutes."
"Minutes?" Dan asked.
"Approximately two minutes at our current speed. We were underway the moment you-"
Dan shook his head. "Pull us back. We need more time to prepare, to plan and-"
"The element of surprise has served us well. The exit out of this world's gravity well puts us on a course for the moon. Believe me, I know what I'm doing."
"Yeah, I know what you're doing, too- you're going to get us all killed. We-"
"Admiral! We're approaching sensor range," one of the crewman said.
They crowded around the edge of the walkway. Unlike the bridge of the Danfiant, a Starfleet ship, the Imperial vessels had various monitoring screens in the two 'valleys' separated by the command walkway of the bridge. Dan had to squint but he could clearly make out the moon on one of the displays.
One of the three gray-shirted Imperials turned around and looked back up at them and Thrawn. "The remains of the debris field are causing interference with our long-range scanners and communication," he explained. "We've picked up multiple signals and power readings but can't determine their source."
Thrawn drew a cloth from his pocket and dabbed his neck with it. Dan noticed this out of the corner of his eye. The bridge was cold and dry, as was every other room of the Star Destroyer. Yet Thrawn was sweating.
Dan turned to Barro. He wasn't officially part of the group yet, but Dan was willing to change that. He was standing looking at the display with all of them, so he was willing to accept that the asshole was on their side, for the moment at least.
"Barro?"
"Dan."
Dan pinched his eyes. "Don't... don't do that."
"Do what? Say your name?"
"Shut the hell up again. Look," Dan steered him out of the group, "You've been around Vice Grip the most recently. What are his defenses? Where's that other guy that's normally with you? Mitchell?"
"Michael. He's- well, Vice has him-"
"Alright, I get it," Dan got eye-level with the pony. "Defenses. What does Vice have? Pony Death Star, or something? Magic Space Gear? Is that a thing?"
Barro shook his head. "Uh, no, not that I'm aware of. I was trapped in my fighter the whole time; he didn't talk to me. He told me shoot you or the things he'd do to Michael would-"
Dan gritted his teeth. "I get the idea. So you know NOTHING"
"Well, we both know him- he'll have something waiting for you. Us. And I don't think we should just be rushing towards him like this."
Dan nodded. "We're both in agreement there."
"What is it?" Thrawn asked, having turned to them.
"Oh, you know, the usual. Probably running headlong into a trap. I mean, that's the usual for us. Probably not for you, I'm guessing. So what's up, blue?"
"30 seconds!"
That was when Twilight saw something no one else did. "Wait... is that..."
Dan, Thrawn and Barro spun on their heels to see the display. Dan opted for a closer look. The surface of the moon was coming into focus now. Squinting, Dan was starting to make out what Twilight was talking about. Then he fell into the pit.
"Wait a min- AAAH-" But Twilight caught him and set him up again. "Thank you."
"What is it, Dan?" Phoenix asked.
The screen came into full focus before he could answer. The picture appeared on the monitor, clear as day. A picture of home.
Thrawn looked puzzled, dabbed his neck again. "Is that a... treehouse?"
"It is. That's my... that's our home," Twilight said grimly.
"Oh dear," was Rarity's only comment.
Barro put his hoof on Dan's shoulder, as did Phoenix. "I'm sorry, Dan. I... I had no idea," Barro said.
But Dan was still processing the information. The Golden Oakes Library, in all its renovated glory that Dan spent months on, that they all had worked to defend, to protect, the place the entire team called home, was planted on the moon. From its green leaves to the giant ion cannon, which was now pointed directly at them, to the mailbox that sat on the front lawn and the entirety of Dan's sophisticated and finicky security system, was all on the moon.
What could it possibly be doing here and not on Equestria, Dan's mind wondered.
To everyone else, the answer had already dawned. With Dan, however, it took an extra minute. The Golden Oaks was not on Equestria... Equestria had just been demolished, then rebuilt. That would've included the library. But the library isn't on Equestria- it's on the moon. How could it get to the moon? Dan relocated the library to the Everfree Ruins when they left Ponyville, but it's not there now. It's. On. The. Moon. Why. Is. It. On. The. Moon.
"Dan..." Twilight looked at him. "I'm sorry."
"I guess we know what Rice's defenses are now," Barro said.
"Ohhhh," Dan said, nodding, finally getting it. And then, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDGGGGGGGGGRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"We're almost in range," the sensor officer said, but he was drowned out by Dan.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Dan grabbed and shook the nearest person, Thrawn, then shook them. The tall blue alien did nothing as Dan's face turned boiling red. Dan released him and then ran, screaming, up and down he walkway of the bridge.
"Does he do this often?" Thrawn asked.
"At least once an episode," Barro answered. Everyone looked at him. "What, am I not supposed to say that?"
Eventually, Dan's shouting focused into the word, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! ATTACK! Attack. ATTACK!!!" Dan pointed at the moon through the viewport. "Destroy! DESTROY THE MOON! BLOW IT UP, BLOW IT ALL UP, BLOW UP EQUESTRIA AGAIN NOW! ATTACK NOW!!"
Thrawn gave a single, solemn nod. "Very well." He turned to his captain and said, "Proceed."
"Ready all cannons. Standby to scramble all squads. Prep assault teams for landing."
"Dan," Twilight approached him. The human was staring angrily out the window, fists balled in pure rage. "I... I have a confession." It was best to just take the heat, especially now while Dan was boiling over. Still, she swallowed. Rarity came up from behind her to rub her shoulders.
Slowly, Dan turned to her. "Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss?" he said, hissing steam through gritted teeth. His face was contorted into a sociopathic smile, the kind of smile a madman or a normal person might have at the DMV. Yeah, it really is that bad at the DMV.
"I, uh... well, you probably would've figured this out on your own." Probably not. "But uh, I just wanted to say..."
"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?"
"I, uh.... I was the last one in the Golden Oakes Library."
Dan's face broke. His smile vanished as he contemplated this new info. "Wait, so what?"
Twilight bashfully rubbed her front legs. "I... maybe, might have forgotten to rearm the security system after I left."
"Oh," Dan said again. "Well, that's not really a big deal-"
"Which would've allowed Vice Grip to steal it."
Dan inhaled.
San Garry's Mod International Airport
Elise's parents had been waiting for approximately three hours for their daughter, son-in-law and their friend Dan to arrive when they finally decided to venture into the terminal to investigate.
"Find us a spot up close," Don instructed Ben, their son.
"There are no spots up close."
"Then just find us something nearby!"
"FINE!" Ben said. He sped the car off in the wrong direction. Don and Elise Sr. walked into the terminal building, followed by the sounds of their car crashing into something. Waiting at the airport for their daughter's plane to land had made them all agitated. Upon stepping inside, they heard something.
"What was the number of junior's flight again?"
"I dunno. Something random and made-up."
Elise Sr. looked around. "Do you... hear something?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!"
"Where the devil is that coming from?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
"Can you PLEASE shut him up before his shouting damages something! This equipment is sensitive!" Thrawn yelled.
"So are my ears!" Phoenix added.
Twilight grabbed Dan in a magical grip and lifted him up. "Dan!"
"What? WHY? Why did you-"
"Shut the hell up, Dan!" Twilight yelled back. A few gasps, especially from Rarity; this was the first time Twilight had actually yelled back at Dan. But she quickly recomposed herself. "Sorry... but you're not helping, Dan. Seriously."
"But you-"
"I know."
"And he-"
"I know."
"And now-"
"WE KNOW," went everyone.
Thrawn approached. "We're in range now and the defenses don't seem to be active. Whatever the problem is, Dan, I don't think it will be able to stand up to the full might of the Chimaera."
"Well, we'll see about that, won't we?" Dan turned around as Twilight let him down. "Never tested the system against a Star Destroyer anyway."
Phoenix's eyes widened. He remembered something, not something he'd read but something he'd seen before. Of all the things to save, he kept one scrap of paper, innocuous as it seemed, in his pocket. He removed it from his pocket and unfurled it.
It was a piece of one of Dan's plans. In the top-right hand corner was a crude drawing, one of many innocuous-looking crude drawings that seemed to have been drawn on random pieces of paper they had used over time. But now, things had come together, because Phoenix Wright finally understood what they meant. He swallowed hard.
"Dan?" Phoenix showed him the paper. Again, Dan was silent for a moment, but this time he understood what it meant right away.
"What is it?" Barro walked up to them. Dan held the drawing up for him.
"Did you draw this?"
"No," Barro shook his head. "I don't draw. Michael..." Barro's jaw dropped. "Oh no."
The picture slowly fell out of Dan's grasp to the ground. It was the picture of the Golden Oakes Library vaporizing a Star Destroyer. Their Star Destroyer.
Dan grabbed Thrawn again. "PULL UP! PULL UP! PULL UP! PULL-"
The cannon of the Golden Oakes Library fired.