//------------------------------// // XXII - Imprisoned // Story: The Distant Princess // by GMBlackjack //------------------------------// Getting captured is a fact of life. Just look at me. No matter who you are or where you live, if the universe decides you’re one of the “important ones”, you’re going to get captured eventually. My favorite is getting captured by aliens, it’s the most surreal. Unfortunately, even the most interesting of alien abductions suffers from the agony of waiting. Sitting in a cell is never interesting for very long unless it’s shoddy enough to allow escape. Chances are it’ll be strong and stay that way for, oh, I don’t know, hours. Enough for some good, long thoughts about life to form in that not-as-secure as you might think brain of yours. Enjoy. ~~~ Pain. Twilight was no stranger to it, this was far from the first time she had suffered an overload to the horn. Considering that almost no unicorn ever suffered such an injury, the fact that she was used to it was somewhat concerning to her, even in her delirious state. Even though it hurt, she knew she needed to see. Grunting, she pulled back her eyelids and took in her surroundings. It was dark, but not unlit, just decorated with blacks and reds. The floor was metal and the walls were smooth. Most of the light came from an opening that ripped every so often with a spark of energy—likely a forcefield of some kind. She shared this cell with two occupants. Apex Daffodil, who was sitting on top of a pile of recently picked leaves, and Bonnibel, who sat in the corner, arms folded. She was watching Twilight closely. “You okay?” “Yeah, this isn’t the first time,” Twilight said, rubbing her horn with a hoof. It hurt, but she didn’t think it was too damaged. “It’s probably best if I don’t try any major spells for a while.” “I’m not sure we could escape even with them,” Bonnibel said. “The forcefield is solid, and since this is a spacecraft, likely teleportation-proof.” “Their ship is in pieces and their holding cells work?” Bonnibel snickered. “Apparently! Just our luck, huh?” Twilight nodded. “Business as usual. Any possibilities of escape?” “Not that I saw. All the access hatches are on the outside.” Bonnibel glanced at Apex Daffodil. “Unless he can help us.” “Whaddaya say, Apex Daffodil?” Twilight extended a hoof to the deer. “Want to use those fancy powers of yours to bust us out of here?” He gave himself the consistency of gelatin and continued munching on his pile of leaves. “He really is just an animal…” Bonnibel said, shaking her head with a wry smile. “I should have listened to you rather than my paranoia.” Her smile vanished as she pulled her knees to her chest. “Glob, I have a problem with that.” “Well, your paranoia was justified with these guys,” Twilight said, examining the edges of the forcefield. “I wanted to come right out and talk to them. All offering help got me was lightning to the horn.” “I think it was the way you said it. It tripped something in his brain. If a skeleton like him has a brain.” “Right…” Twilight frowned. “He calls himself Lord Hater. The name of someone proud to be violent.” Bonnibel nodded. “I shot him. He deflected the blast.” Twilight grimaced. Not at Bonnibel’s use of the weapon—that was justified. No, it was a thought within Twilight’s own mind that gave her pause. I wish it had gone through him. Then we wouldn’t be in this mess. Flapping her wings, Twilight let out a tense breath. “Well, we can’t fight our way out now, so I suppose I’ll try to talk.” “To who? Nobody comes when I call.” “They’ll come to me…” Twilight took a deep breath and lit her horn. The simple spell she cast made her twitch from the pain, but it wasn’t anything close to unbearable. She focused the energy to her vocal cords and smirked. “Listen to me!” she shouted with a voice louder than most ponies could manage with megaphones. “I am Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria, and I demand an audience with my captors so we may discuss terms of negotiation!” “I hear you I hear you!” a familiar voice shouted from around the corner. After listening to the scrambling of footsteps for a few seconds, Twilight laid her eyes upon the diminutive Commander Peepers, who was somehow managing to give her a death glare despite only having one eye. “Commander,” Twilight said, dropping the vocal spell. “You have me and my friends exactly where you want us. We know you wish for magic in order to repair your damaged vessel. Equestria would no doubt be willing to trade something suitable for my release.” “And why should I believe that you’re a princess, huh?” Bonnibel gawked. “Her regal tone? Her commanding presence? The way all she had to do was speak to get you to come over here and start playing on her terms? It should be clear that she’s a leader.” Peepers pressed his hands together. “Point taken. Now listen to my point. You’re not getting out of this cell!” “Why not?” Twilight cocked her head. “Surely you are holding us for some purpose.” “If I had to guess, it’s for Lord Hater’s torture mixtape.” Twilight dropped her smile. “I sincerely hope that is an empty threat, Equestria will not take kindly to having their Princess… tortured.” “Remind me again why I care what a backwater kingdom thinks of us?” “You need our magic, don’t you?” “Yes! And we’re just going to take it!” Twilight glared. “Peepers, think for a minute. If we have enough magic to fix your ship, we almost assuredly have enough to destroy it. Completely.” “You’re in no position to threaten us!” “I’m a reigning member of the Equestrian government and you just threatened me with a torture mixtape, I think I’m in a great position to threaten.” She got as close to the forcefield as she could manage. Peepers didn’t budge. “Commander, this can go two ways,” Bonnibel said, glaring at him from her seated position. “You can take the route of diplomacy where you contact Equestria, make a trade for the resources you desire, and go back to the stars you came from. Or you can take the route of violence and conquest, in which case there will be retaliation the likes of which you can’t comprehend. You will be met in battle with the might this world has to offer, and it will surprise you.” Peepers snorted. “You don’t even have a way into space.” “Actually…” Twilight said, putting on her “teaching a small foal” voice. “As of last month there was a confirmed case of entering orbit. We do, in fact, have the capacity to leave the planet.” “Not to mention warps to Mars,” Bonnibel added. “So, Commander, we are already stronger than you think we are. Are you willing to test that?” The fear in Peepers’ eye was more than a little satisfying, and Twilight would have thought she had the conversation in the bag had Lord Hater’s laughter not met her ears at that exact moment. Still laughing, he strode into view, holding his chest. “Peepers, do you hear that? Do you? These primitive little girls think they can face the watchdog army and Lord Hater! That’s hilarious! That’s…” He rolled onto the ground, still laughing. “Oh, priceless! Priceless! Peepers, get a picture, I need to remember this moment!” “We don’t find this funny,” Bonnibel deadpanned. “That makes it even better!” Hater pushed his head as close to the forcefield as he dared, letting out a bellowing guffaw. “You have no idea how doomed you are!” “I think you’re underestimating us,” Twilight said. “Am I? Let me tell you something, ladies.” He snapped his fingers, prompting two watchdogs to bring a large screen in front of the cell. The screen turned on, showing the Skullship, fully functional, floating over a red planet. It took a moment for Twilight to realize it wasn’t a recording—the completely identical shapes and movements of the watchdogs told her it was an artificial production. She watched as they stomped over the planet’s cities, people, and defenses effortlessly. Eventually, they came to a purple blob creature with a crown. They shot him, dropping the crown to the ground for Lord Hater to pick up. “Really good touch there, guys,” the real Hater said. “Thanks!” a watchdog said. “It took some work, too. Animation’s still difficult!” “Keep making great videos, I can’t wait to see more of me in them.” He snapped his fingers and they dragged the screen away. “Do you see now?” “I saw propaganda,” Bonnibel deadpanned. “...Propaganda for a planet conqueror,” Twilight added warily. “We don’t know how much of that was true.” “Enough…” “Ah, the horse understands,” Hater grinned. “I’ve had dozens of planets in my grasp, planets with advanced fleets at their defense and technologies beyond your wildest dreams. I’ve met villains in battle that controlled several planets of their own, and emerged victorious. I am Lord Hater, and you are just a couple children on a nowhere planet that has no power to stop me.” “You have the option to trade us peacefully,” Bonnibel spat. “You do not have to go to war. You do not have to risk it.” “Risk? RISK?” Hater let out another fit of laughter. “Did you not see the video? I’ll bring it back, I—” “I know what you believe,” Bonnibel interrupted. “I don’t buy it.” She stood up, walking closer to Hater’s slouched form, grinding her teeth in between every word. “You don’t have the numbers, resources, or backup to take this world. You will suffer irreplaceable losses. You have an opportunity for a peaceful resolution here. You would be an idiot not to take it.” “Bonnie, no…” Twilight warned. Bonnibel didn’t stop. “So put that skull of yours on straight and think for a few seconds. Trade with Equestria and leave this world, and we can all forget you were ever here. Give in to your base animalistic desire to conquer and pillage, and you will suffer like the animal you are.” Hater slammed his fist into the wall, letting out a deep, guttural noise. “I’ll show you… I’ll show you I’m the Greatest! Peepers, prepare the torture chamber. Her screams will be the best addition to the mix.” Bonnibel’s eyes widened. “What…? No… no leader would…” “That’s the secret to being the Greatest,” Hater chuckled. “I do what nobody else will.” Peepers facepalmed. “Including torturing even the prettiest pink ladies.” He waggled his eyebrows. Bonnibel took a step back. “You’re a disgusting madman.” “And you’re about to be stretched like taffy! I can’t wait to see how far that body of yours can stretch. Actually…” He pulled a boombox out of his robes and pressed play, letting his prisoners hear a funky beat punctuated by occasional screams. “I think her screeching voice would go good right here, don’t you think so, Peepers?” Peepers sighed. “Sir, I understand your torture remix is important to you, but if we’re going to conquer this planet can we at least make it quick?” “Oh, fine, fine…” Hater put the boombox away and dusted his palms. “To the torture room!” “WAIT!” Twilight called. “Don’t!” “Why not?” Hater asked. “You’re the important one.” “She’s… she’s a princess too!” Twilight said, hoping her cheesy grin sold the lie. “The Candy Kingdom wants her back, just like Equestria wants me back! You need us both!” Hater sighed. “Ugh, fine… Peepers, can I torture the deer?” “I don’t think it’d let you, sir.” Hater turned his back to the cell and walked away. “I want to attack the nearest city as soon as possible. Rally up the troops and perform whatever scans you need. I’m tired of looking at this wreck, I need some conquest.” “Yes… and once we conquer this planet, we’ll use it as a base to launch back into the galaxy! Your empire will have a sudden new vigor that none of the other villains could hope to match!” “I! WILL BE! THE GREATEST!” He flexed his arms, despite being made out of bone and lacking all muscle. Bonnibel and Twilight were left alone once again. Apex Daffodil munched on some of his leaves. Twilight let out a sigh of relief. “That was close…” “Twilight… he’s going to try to conquer the planet.” “But we aren’t being tortured!” Twilight smiled nervously, trying to keep her eye twitches under control. “One step at a time!” Apex Daffodil breathed a blue fireball that vanished harmlessly into a nearby wall.