"Fluttershy, what are we having for dinner?" Discord asked.
Fluttershy looked up from the sanctuary pantry shelves. Discord was holding a clipboard, bending a pencil like rubber between his fingers as she counted supplies. "I'm not sure," she said. "I hadn't really thought about it... there are twenty bunches of carrots."
He nodded and wrote on the clipboard, then made a cat's cradle with the pencil. "Just wondering," he said. "Because if you weren't set on anything, there's something that I would like for dinner."
"Oh? What is it?" she asked, counting the next item on the shelf.
"Well," he said. "It doesn't really have a name...I wanted to try something new. And I would suggest we make it together, buuuuut..."
"But what?" she asked, tilting her head.
"...it involves a lot of fire," he said. "Fire and knives."
She froze, dropping the radish she had been inspecting as she imagined what 'a lot of fire' meant to Discord, who normally watched (and went into) natural disasters without batting an eye. "...what's your idea?"
"I wanted to try chopping up some vegetables, covering them in some kind of spices, and then seeing what would happen if I fried them in a pan," Discord said. "But with, like...a lot of fire and knives."
"That sounds interesting..." she says. "I'd like to give it a try. Thirty-two radishes."
He scribbled it down. "I can take care of it all, while you relax," he offered, balancing the pencil on his nose.
"Well, I...I wouldn't mind helping you chop up the vegetables," she admitted. "And watching you cook could be fun." Watching Discord do a lot of things tended to be fun...one time he had scolded a soup he was making until he had cowed it into changing every one of its ingredients. It was an amusing, if very odd, spectacle.
"Alright," he said. "But your safety comes first! Making a delicious meal that will make your mouth water is secondary." He tried to balance the clipboard on top of the pencil.
"Almost done," she told him, making his shoulders sag in relief. She counted a few more supplies, mostly vegetables she wasn't sure if they needed more of (they had been running low on tomatoes), and then declared the task done for the day. Discord cheered and enlarged the pencil, scooping her into his arms and riding out of the room on it. She saw the clipboard float to the office by itself.
He tickled her sides as he pulled her tighter to his chest, making her giggle and squirm. The pencil steed veered every which way as Discord laughed.
The afternoon flew by, as Discord showed off his jousting skills on his pencil steed, defeating several suits of armor on black pens to reclaim the hoof of the fair maiden Fluttershy.
She giggled and rewarded him with a kiss, nuzzling into his chest as he rode away with her. "...it's getting fairly late," she said. "If you want to make dinner by hand, it might be a good idea to start now."
He beamed down at her, stroking her mane. "You're as wise as you are sweet, my fair Fluttershy," he said, nuzzling behind her ear. "To the kitchen!"
They dismounted the pencil once they made it inside, and Discord patted its side, releasing it to freedom in the floating paper pastures of Chaosville. He smiled and turned to Fluttershy, cracking his knuckles and scrubbing them with suddenly-appearing soap and water.
"First things first—chopping up the vegetables," he said, snapping a chef's hat and apron onto himself. "I believe you mentioned that you want to help with that part?" She nodded as she washed her hooves, and with a snap of his fingers, she was also wearing a hat and apron.
They both took positions in front of neon cutting boards on the counter, Discord carefully placing knives next to both of them. He dug a large pile of various vegetables out from the cupboards, including asparagus, onions, and red bell peppers.
He took an onion and began to peel it, goggles appearing on his face as he worked. She smiled and grabbed some asparagus, chopping the stalks into smaller, more bite-sized pieces.
The two of them worked in sync, chopping vegetables and scraping the pieces into a bowl. Discord occasionally tossed pinches of salt or spices on top, while also adding a bit of oil to a large pan. Eventually, the bowl was filled with the various vegetables, and Discord poured them into the well-oiled pan.
"Ah...this is the part I'd like you to step back during," he said, turning the stovetop on with his tail. She nodded and stepped about a foot down the counter as he tossed more spices into the pan, mixing everything together until it was all coated in red powder.
"One last ingredient, for now," he said. He reached into the cabinet above, pulling out a rarely-touched bottle of alcohol. Neither of them drank often, so this bottle was only opened for the recipes that needed it.
She watched as he popped the bottle open, swirling the contents around and perhaps using his magic to freshen them. "A little of this..." he said, using his magic to levitate an orb of alcohol from the bottle. He dropped it into the pan, and flames lept out several feet into the air. Fluttershy jumped, but he laughed and tossed the flaming contents with his spoon.
"Are you...sure this is safe?" she asked, watching as the flames slowly died down.
"I know what I'm doing," he said. "But, ah...maybe you should still stay back. I don't want to get you caught in any friendly fire."
She squeaked and backed several more feet away. She noticed that he watched her out of the corner of his eye, nodding in satisfaction when she was far enough back and adding another splash of alcohol to his dish with magic. It flared up again, though not as badly as the first time, and he handled it calmly.
It was almost hypnotic, watching him. He had everything under control, occasionally adding an extra pinch of spices or another dollop of alcohol. But no matter how high the flames jumped, he handled it calmly...with a smile on his face, even!
She lost some track of time...but her stomach growled, reminding her that supper would be served soon. Discord's ear twitched upwards. "It's nearly done, Shyfly," he said, stirring it a bit. "Why don't you take a seat at the table, and I'll bring the plate to you?"
A bit reluctantly, she removed her apron and hat, pulled herself away from
the counter, and took her seat. She still watched as he slowly turned the stovetop off, then distributed the cooked vegetables onto two plates. Once done, he smiled and grabbed both of them, carrying them over to the table.
"Here it is!" he said cheerfully, setting the plate down in front of her. "I hope it's good...if not, I can fix something else."
She looked down at the meal in front of her. The bits of vegetables were all bite-sized and hard to tell apart, as they had all been coated in a layer of red spices and fried to a brownish crisp (some were even blackened). She could feel the heat coming from it already, and she could smell the alcohol and spices coming from it.
Discord sat at the other end of the table with his own dish. With a wave of his hand, a pitcher of lemonade floated over, filling both of their glasses. He rubbed his hands together, licking his lips.
"Let's see how it tastes!" he said. He grabbed a fork and stabbed several pieces of the meal eagerly. She grabbed her own fork and took one piece.
They both bit down on their food at the same time.
Her eyes widened, and she pulled her fork away and stared down at the dish in surprise. "This is..." She glanced up and saw Discord staring at her eagerly, leaning forward with wide eyes. "It's delicious, Discord!" she said, stabbing another piece and taking a bite. "How did you come up with this idea?"
He smiled broadly, his tail wagging as he ate a few more pieces. "Well," he said. "I saw some famous chefs cooking with alcohol and fire. Then I thought about spices, and considered what would give it a kick without making it too spicy for you. Then I saw you chopping vegetables for your furballs, and bam! The idea just hit me." He took a large bite, then drank his lemonade. "And...it's not too spicy for you?"
She shook her head, eagerly taking another bite. "No, it's perfect." She fanned her mouth. "It's a little hot, but not that bad."
He slid over a plate of bread slices covered in cream cheese that hadn't been there before and smiled. "That should help with any burning," he said. After taking another bite, he lifted his head and slowly blew out an orange smoke ring.
"Oh, thank you," she said, taking one of the slices. She nibbled on it whenever the burn grew too hot (which wasn't that often—the dish had a bit of a kick, but it wasn't that spicy).
The two of them both cleaned their plates. Discord sighed and patted his stomach, while Fluttershy sipped her lemonade. "That really was delicious," she said. "I wouldn't mind having it again sometime."
He smiled widely. "Ooh, I can try experimenting with it, too...I wonder how well mushrooms would go with it?" he wondered, stroking his beard.
"I guess we'll just have to see," she said, standing up and heading towards the cookie jar. "You're not too full for a few gingersnaps, are you?"
"Flutters, darling..." he said. "I have a second stomach just for your baking. I am never too full for a dessert made by you."
She smiled, deciding not to ask how literal he was being, and collected four gingersnap cookies, made only days before—two for each of them. The two of them nibbled on their cookies, feeling pleasantly full and tired. Once she was finished, she headed over to his side of the table and leaned against him.
"Oh, does my fair maiden desire rest?" he asked, stroking her mane. She chuckled and nodded, nestling into his fur. He smiled and scooped her into his arms, carrying him towards her room. "Well, what my lady wants, I cannot deny..." He kissed her gently, and she returned it with light pressure of her own.
She could still taste that dish on his lips. She smiled and leaned more of her weight against his chest, letting her eyes drift closed sleepily.