Avast, me hearties! I be writing like a pirate now! Hoist your here sails and take to the high seas with our new swashbuckling tail!
The high seas! A grand place of adventure and plunder. Tom, the landlubber he was, took in his morning news with stride as he read the paper. He saw that the day was to be a grand and dramatic one indeed. For it reported to him that the seas were to become a place of grand excitement in Nottingham today.
GRAND REGATTA TO BE HELD IN NOTTINGHAM! said an advert in the paper.
AHOY THERE!
DO YE WANT TO BE ON THE HIGH SEAS!
THEN GET YOUR SALTY LEGS DOWN TO THE WATER'S FRONT FOR SAILING AND OUTFITTING TRIALS!
JOIN US ON THE SALTY SEADOG FOR A DAY OF THRILLS AND EXCITEMENT!
WATER YOU WAITING FOR? COME ON DOWN, YE SCURVY DOGS, AND SAID TO GLORY, WEALTH, AND PLUNDER!
Tom smiled. "I must say, that sounds quite fun. I always fancied myself as a sailor, and now may be my chance to prove my worth on the high seas! Off I must go, for the river awaits me!"
He stood up from his desk, and set off into the distance, crashing into his door.
"Ouch! I guess that opening the door first would probably have helped me get outdoors."
Tom was equally fascinated by pirate history as he was by military history. Apart from exciting tales of grand exploration and epic adventures on the seas, there was also treasure, great battles with the authorities, and songs and sea shanties galore. On a rather interesting side note, pirate ships were amongst the first true democracies in the world, with crews voting on crew positions, plunder, and what to attack. Not only that, it fed into the development of American democracy too!
Tom, was, of, course, quite excited to get his sea legs back into order. He had last been to sea many years ago, on the old ship Providence, and his friend Jimmy lived not far from where Blackbeard had met his end. He fancied himself as a sailor, as I have repeated several times, and so he hopped onboard the boat to see the crewe assembled before him.
"Listen in, ye scallywags!" called the captain, a tall man with a massive beard. "I am Redbeard, your captain, and I expect all of you to handle to your very best! We are not just a crew, we are a closely knit family, and for that we must stand together and work hard. Do you understand?"
"Aye aye, captain!" called the crewe, Tom included. He could tell they were in character in all senses.
"Right then! Cast off the lines, open the sales, and man the rigging! Hard to starboard, Mister Gallen!"
"Aye sir! You heard the Captain! Get moving!"
The crew all ran about, adjusting all sorts of kit and moving the heavy equipment needed to get a sailing ship on the move. Off the Beeston Bounty sailed, moving into the mist beautifully.
After a few hours of sailing across rivers and seas, the Bounty docked on a small island in the Bristol channel. They had travelled a very long way, and Tom (and the rest of the crew) were very keen for a rest. The life of a pirate was a tiring one, and potentially very short too, so they took rest whenever they could. Tom decided he could do with a bathroom break, and so went out of sight by a considerable distance to take a break to relieve himself (the island suffered from a conspicous lack of plumbing). He went for a stroll around the backs of the trees and rocks, until he spotted something sitting there. He took his chance to relieve himself first, and then dealt with the objects. The first of the objects was a piece of green rock. The other was a mechanical foot, which looked like a claw.
"These certainly look familiar," he mused, and picked one up as he did so. As ever, he forgot the most important lesson; never mess with weird objects, as they may be magical and could turn you into a fictional character.
The green rock flashed bright, and threw him onto his rear. When the light cleared, he looked down in a mixture of surprise and utter confusion.
Both of his legs from the thigh downward were gone. Attached into their places were artificial ones. The one on the left had a backwards knee joint, with a metal brace for a three clawed foot. The right hand one featured an emerald rock cut into a leg like shape, which made sense as otherwise walking would be very difficult.
"OK, I now have artificial legs," he said. He tried to get up, but struggled due to the rather odd mechanics of the prosthetics. As he tried to figure out what had gotten him into this mess, the part of his legs that he still had fitted shifted in size, gaining extra muscle. His pants soon joined in on this shifting, changes into a pair of short breeches, similar to what a classical pirate was often depicted wearing. His manhood was soon removed from this world as the changes accelerated.
She tried the foot joint, and swung herself up onto her feet confidently, her shirt shifting in size for her new biology as her waist pulled inwards. Shortly after, her chest increased in size, a mixture of breasts and heavy fluff as a large brown coat appeared on top, with a golden chestpiece over her chest and bronze pauldrons over her shoulders. The coat extended down to her her ankles, or rather where her ankles would have been on her natural limbs, the gold pattern running as far as the knees.
More cream fur spread over her arms as her little fingers shrank back into her hands, with sharp claws emerging from the remaining digits. The skin over those claws and forelimbs became a light brown, with more of the cream fur running upwards, through her neck, and over her face as her nose and mouth were replaced by a beak. Her hair surged backwards, and changed into elaborate green plumage. Green eyeliner appeared over her eyes, and her eyes turned pink as her ears slid upwards, filled with golden rings.
A golden ring with an inset emerald appeared on her left hand as a giant brown hat with a massive red feather appeared on her head. The now anthro parrot glanced about as she tried to figure out where she was.
"An unknown island, eh?" she smiled. "Probably got some good treasure on it, if my reckoning is correct."
"Captain?" called a voice. Celaeno turned to face Boyle, one of her crewmates. "Beggin' yer pardon, ma'am, but we're ready to set off."
"Tell Spittle to fire up the boiler," Celaeno. "I'll be there as soon as she's up to temperature. Just want to do one last sweep for the boxes, after all."
"Aye, captain," Boyle nodded. "Spittle! Fire the boilers! Get the propellors up and running! We be ready for takeoff in a half hour!"
"Understood!" the voice shouted back as the mighty steam turbine of the newly christened Bearded Shark spooled up. Celaeno smiled as she began her trek back. Rainbow Dash, the pegasus she'd befriended on that fateful voyage all those years ago, had arranged for a new ship to be launched from Cloudsdale Shipyards to replace the Bounty. It handled perfectly, and had more than enough space for all the treasure they could find. After all, they had a search permit now. She jumped onto the deck as the turbine got up to speed, and the gas bag filled to capacity. Seconds later, the airship was up and away, steam pouring from the turbine as it steamed off towards a new adventure.