//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8 
// Story: Ocean Blues 
// by TalkingToMyself 
//------------------------------//

Sunset had to stay in the hospital for another week. Blue visited her a few times and she knew from Spring Meadow that the others did the same. Fluttershy went straight to the hospital after school each day.

After she got released, Sunset was just gone for a couple of days. None of the girls could get a hold on her, her phone was switched off and she wasn’t at her apartment either. Principal Celestia told them not to worry, so Blue guessed she was staying with her 'legal guardian' for the time being. As for why she didn’t tell the others, Blue thought she knew as well.
She’s trying to figure out if she should stay or not. Princess Twilight would take her back to Equestria in a heartbeat and she’d be rid of all this shit at school. I’d leave if I was her.

At CHS, nobody knew that all of this was going on, but it didn’t stop the rumour mill from starting again. It seemed like Anon-A-Miss had taught them nothing at all and only a few days later they had their heads in the gutter again. Applejack and Pinkie Pie had to physically hold back Blue more than once when she overheard some of the bullshit the others spread around. Rainbow Dash didn’t fare much better and both of them got detention for screaming at people in the halls.

A few little things had changed, though. Blue and Rainbow Dash weren’t the only ones. Whenever the gossip started getting out of hand, there were some guys who interfered. None of the things they said about Sunset was as mean or hurtful as before. All the hatred had focused on Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo instead. Blue failed to see how this was any better, but she felt like they somehow deserved this. They made the whole school hate each other, now they should feel what it’s like on the receiving end.

Some other things had happened as well that Blue didn’t notice right away. Like, how many students found the guts to stand up for the stuff they posted and apologized. That some of them put so much effort to fix and save their damaged friendships after they had been at each other’s throats. Blue also learned from Rarity and Fluttershy that many students asked them to send their apologies to Sunset. They didn’t go to visit her, as they rightfully guessed that Sunset wouldn’t want to see them, but Rarity delivered a whole bag of cards and letters to Sunset.

Once the winter holidays had passed, things were almost back to normal, but they didn’t feel normal yet. At least, not for Blue. The other students still avoided her outside of classes, probably because she had beaten up that guy. Pinkie Pie said it was probably because of ‘the face’.

Pinkie and the others made more of an effort to include Blue ever since their gathering at Rarity’s with Princess Twilight. Before, it had been mostly Sunset who asked Blue to hang out with them, but after what they had been through, the girls were much closer. And even if Blue appreciated having the girls to fall back on when she was feeling down, she couldn’t help but feel guilty.
Blue got along better with the girls than ever before while Sunset had nearly died. She felt like she didn’t deserve anything nice coming out from this, not when it meant that her friend got hurt and was still hurting in the progress. She didn’t tell anyone how she felt about this though, not even her sister.

And then, without any warning, Sunset came back to school one day.

Blue saw her first, as she was walking that day instead of taking the bus, so she noticed Sunset at the staff parking lot. She had arrived with Principal Celestia apparently and had a new set of warm winter clothes to wear. When Blue came closer, she could see that Sunset still looked pale and weak, but that was because she was very nervous.

Sunset was watching the entrance of the school and hesitated getting closer, so she didn’t see Blue yet. Blue slowed down, unsure on how to address Sunset just as much, but then she just shrugged and headed straight towards her
“Yo Red!”

She chuckled when Sunset nearly jumped out of her boots and joined her. She held out her fist as usual and Sunset bumped back after only a moment
“Stop sneaking up on me. Geez, you want me back in the hospital that badly?”
Blue grinned but she could see that Sunset forced that joke. Instead of sending another joke back, Blue just put her arm around Sunset’s shoulder and made her walk towards the school with her
“Come on, let’s go see the others.”
Sunset gave her a weird sideways-glance, since Blue wasn’t usually the one for hugs or touchy-feely stuff, but she walked along nonetheless.

Of course everybody noticed Sunset’s arrival. Conversations died down and everybody was staring at them. Just as Blue had guessed though, nobody approached them. Most of them would still feel too guilty to talk with Sunset, or scared on how she would react on them. The rest would be too intimidated by Blue to get in their way.

Blue was focused on Sunset, so she didn’t noticed the looks of sympathy from most of the students. They could see that Sunset was just as nervous as they were, even scared. They hadn’t heard any details of how badly Sunset was hurt, but they could guess from how long she had missed school. So they didn’t flock around her and when they started whispering to each other again, they at least tried to be discrete.

Blue made a beeline to the statue where Rarity and the others were already waiting, with smiles for Sunset. Blue let go of Sunset when each of them greeted her with a careful hug. Sunset had a faint smile as they did, but she couldn’t shake off her insecurity, not even around them. Or maybe, especially not around them.  

To their credit, they didn’t act like nothing had happened, like Blue had tried to. As they waited for school to start, they each told Sunset how happy they were to see her back on her feet. Blue didn’t know how much they talked since the gathering at the hospital, but everyone apologized once more to Sunset, in their own way.

Sunset listened but barely said anything herself. Maybe she still was too weak, since she was still very pale and unsteady on her feet. She didn’t look angry, but Blue noticed how she kept glancing over the other students around them every now and then, checking for potential threats. Blue knew that Sunset had every reason to be scared and her hands balled to fists.  

The bell rang and the girls had to separate for Homeroom. Sunset let herself be guided by a far gentler than normal Fluttershy towards their classroom. While Fluttershy only focused on Sunset, Rainbow Dash kept their surroundings in check, glaring at anyone who started to whisper behind Sunset's back. Blue and Rainbow shared a glance before they split up and Blue nodded. Rainbow had things covered for now, and later on, Blue shared some classes with Sunset and could take over. The two of them weren't the most sensitive girls, but they could do their thing and make sure nobody even thought about hurting Sunset.

Rarity, Applejack and Blue headed into their own classroom and Blue slumped down in her seat. She didn't even notice that she was gripping her table until Rarity touched her hand. When Blue turned around, she saw a concerned look from both her friends
"Are you holding up, Darling?"
Blue just let out an angry snort
"Shouldn't you ask Sunset that? She needs it more."

Rarity just shook her head and gently took a hold of Blue's hand, at which she let go of some of the tension
"Sunset is in another classroom, and I can't help her right now. But I can help my other friend who seems upset."
Applejack nodded and put a hand on Blue's shoulder as well
"You're making the face again. You look like you're about to hit someone, or start crying."
Blue closed her free hand to a fist, but she also held on Rarity's hand at the same time
"I swear, if anyone is trying to hurt her, I'll..."
"We won't let it come this far, Darling."

Applejack opened her mouth to add something, but at this point Miss Cheerilee arrived and started class. As she droned on, Blue couldn't focus really. When Homeroom finally was over, she was the first to pick up her bag and rush out of the classroom, followed closely by Applejack and Rarity. They waited in front of Sunset’s classroom and when the fiery-haired girl left as last, they took her into their middle. Rainbow Dash ran off, she didn’t share their next classes, but Blue took her task of glaring at anyone who tried to get to close to Sunset. She let Rarity and Fluttershy take over guiding Sunset to the next class. Applejack was carrying Sunset’s book bag, since she was already wobbly on her feet from just walking. Pinkie, oblivious as ever, just pranced ahead of them, smiling and waving at everyone they ran into. Blue grinned to herself You might think she’s daft, but she’s clearing a path for Sunset in a way the others couldn’t. Nice job.

During Algebra, which was the last class before their free period, Blue had the seat a row behind Sunset and one place to the right, which allowed her to watch Sunset very closely. She could see that Sunset was struggling, not with class or the teacher, but simply with sitting upright it seemed. Sure, it’s been some weeks by now, but Blue could see that Sunset was still very weak. Physically weak since she had trouble just sitting there, but also… emotionally? Blue frowned a little at herself, but it was true. She could see everything she needed in Sunset’s face, that fear of everyone around her, that tension so she wouldn’t fall apart crying and most of all, how tired Sunset looked, too tired to face all this stuff right now. She’s got no walls left. She’s been thinking of nothing but how this day would go and everybody around her probably talked about nothing but her for weeks now… it’s just too much.

Blue couldn’t tell where she got that insight from. She didn’t really care either. What she did care about, was Sunset. Easy as that. She wasn’t a girl to overcomplicate things. Simple problem, simple solution, that’s what she preferred. And she had a simple solution for this.

So when Algebra finally ended and the girls flocked around Sunset, Blue made her move. She just grabbed Sunset’s wrist and pulled her away, despite all the looks she received. Applejack and Fluttershy immediately protested, but Sunset didn’t. Sunset just stumbled after her even as she started running. Rarity had noticed it as well and stopped Applejack from going after them, but Blue didn’t see that any more. She was already out in the hallway and running right for the main door and Sunset right after her. People jumped out of their way, Blue glared at them so they wouldn't try stopping her and Sunset followed in her trail. They didn’t run into any teachers, lucky for them. Blue knew she would have yelled at any teacher if they had gotten in her way, but now she just kept going forwards and pulled Sunset into the bus that was waiting at the bus stop, just as she had hoped.

“Where are we going?”
Sunset managed to catch her breath and gather enough words to break Blue out of her haze, but the bus was already halfway through the city by then. Blue just shook her head
“You’ll see. Can you go on a little longer?”
“Yeah. I think.”
“Good.”
That was the last Blue said for the rest of the trip, although she took hold of Sunset's hand again once they left the bus.

She wanted to run, if she was honest, but because of Sunset, she kept it at a fast-paced walk. Sunset was already panting when they finally reached the house. Blue didn’t give Sunset a chance to take in the slightly battered building or comment on the garbage that was littered everywhere on the stairs. She pulled her through one of the many doors that she had opened with a key and some well-measured force and slammed it shut behind them. Her bag flew into its usual corner and Sunset was shoved into Blue’s room.

Her room was probably the only thing she liked about her home. It had floor heating as well as carpet floor, which meant that she could just sprawl out relatively soft and without freezing her ass off. She had a window towards the busy street and with all that noise, nobody cared much if she had her music blearing as loud as she wanted. Both of which she was going to need today.

Sunset just stood there, unsure what to do in this foreign environment, and probably just started thinking right now, since Blue hadn’t given her (or herself) much time before with all the running. Blue didn’t want her to think too much, so she just more or less pushed her into sitting on the carpet floor. She fiddled a little with the control and Sunset shifted when she felt the floor warm up underneath her. And finally, Blue turned on her stereo, the only valuable thing she possessed and the only thing in the whole flat that would pass as high-tech. She chose a CD from the rack and pushed it in, then turned the volume up to max.

After that, she just flopped down on the floor next to Sunset. Unlike her, she stretched out to her full length as loud, aggressive music filled the room. Sunset looked even more lost and tried to say something, but Blue just yelled at her over the music
“SHUT UP!”

Sunset didn’t seem to understand, so Blue just screamed louder
“No fucking talking! Just shut up! SHUT UP!”
Blue reached out and threw one of the few cushions she had lying around on the floor towards Sunset, not quite at her, but enough to make her point. Blue closed her eyes, making it impossible for Sunset to get in contact with her over the music.

Sunset carefully spread out on the floor. It wasn’t as soft as a bed, but right now that was good. She already felt like everyone was packing her in cotton all the time, so a slightly hard floor was a welcome change. And it was comfy still because of the heating. The music was so loud that it hurt her ears, but she didn’t want it to stop, since it managed to drown out everything, even her own thoughts. It was like her head was just giving up bombarding her with worries and fear and ceased to the music. It was so loud that she could feel the base humming through the floor, which was strangely comforting.

Sunset glanced back at Blue who hadn’t moved. She was just lying there with her eyes closed, but she wasn’t sleeping because Sunset could see her eyes move behind her lids and Blue was also frowning angrily.

Sunset wondered if she should say something. Everyone who had visited her, every doctor or nurse she had met in the hospital or after, even her friends, had wanted her to talk. About It. About what It made her feel. About how It had changed her. How she had to get past It.
She was sick and tired of hearing about It, but at the same time she wanted those people around, if only so she wasn’t alone, not alone again. So she talked, even when she didn’t want really. 

Shut up! Blue didn’t want to talk. The music wouldn’t let her think. The hard base let everything drone out and the angry guitar ripped through the rational part of her brain. SHUT UP! Sunset rolled to the side and hugged the pillow to her chest SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

She rolled on her back and closed her eyes and stopped. Thinking, worrying, feeling, she just stopped. The vibration from the floor and the loud music overpowered everything and for a few glorious minutes, she just existed and nothing else.

From the stereo, loud angry singing washed over the two girls on the floor.
It’s like I’m paranoid, looking over my back, it’s like a whirlwind inside of my head, it’s like I can’t stop what I’m hearing within, it’s like the face inside is right beneath my skin.

Blue knew how long they had been lying there, because she knew all the songs inside out and how long they were. When the third song was just ending, she turned her head towards Sunset. She was lying on her back with her eyes closed, but not clenched shut. There were some stray tears running down her cheek, but her expression was calm, even if not peaceful. Like Blue, she had stretched out as far as she was able too, relaxed on the somewhat soft carpet, but her hand was still tightly gripping the pillow she’d thrown at her. If anyone had asked her to describe how Sunset looked in just one word, Blue would have probably called it 'torn'.  

Blue thought she knew how Sunset had to feel, but at the same time, she knew she could never truly feel what Sunset felt right now. But she could relate, at least. That had to be worth something, right? Sunset looked better than she had in school already. Blue couldn’t expect everything to go back to normal. Things wouldn’t be the same ever again. But, they could become better again. Not the same old, but at least good. But before things could be good, they had to get okay first. And before they could get okay, they had to be decent first. But before things could even start to be decent again, they would be just about bearable for a long while. Many, many little steps they had to take. Blue hated it, but Sunset needed it. She had to make this worth.

Blue closed her eyes again and listened to the chorus as the song ended.
It’s true, the way I feel was promised by your face, the sound of your voice painted on my memories, even when you’re not with me, I’m with you.

The CD had already started over once when the door to the flat opened again. Spring Meadow, still in her hospital scrubs, grunted as she slammed the door shut again, which was the only way to make sure it was locked. She heard the loud blaring from Blue’s room and frowned. Not because of the volume, she had reluctantly accepted the fact that she might soon have a deaf sister, but because of the time. Blue should still be in school.

Ever since she went to CHS, Blue had changed for the better in almost everything, once she got past that rough start. But with Sunset’s suicide attempt, things had changed. Spring Meadow had spent time with Sunset Shimmer when the girl was still hospitalized and she understood why Blue was so angry. Sunset was a nice, sweet girl and that people had driven her so far, it made Spring furious herself. But while she could control her anger, Blue often could not. If it made her start skipping school again, she’d be in trouble.

Preparing for the worst, Spring opened the door to Blue’s room and immediately understood everything, including the loud music. Blue and Sunset were sprawled out on the floor, Blue with her head towards the door and Sunset the other way around. Sunset didn’t move when the door opened, but she looked like she really needed it. Spring knew she did. Blue on the other side raised her hand without even looking towards the door and flipped her off. Spring understood that as well. She didn’t say anything, but she took a moment to adjust the temperature of the floor heating so the girls wouldn’t get cold. 

Then she closed the door and let the two teenagers drown in music.
And I just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed, and I take back all the things I said to make you feel like that, and I just wish that I didn't feel like there was something I missed, and I take back all the things that I said to you

Nothing had even moved in Blue’s room when Spring Meadow heard someone at the door. The doorbell was kaputt, of course, so was the door buzzer. Still, someone had made it in and now rapped at their door. Spring got up and steeled herself before she abruptly pulled open the door. Even though they had been living here for months now, she’d not talked with any neighbours. People who lived here kept for themselves, so whoever was at the door could only mean trouble. She had her meanest glare ready for the intruder.

Her expression changed to surprised when she saw the flustered teenager in front of her. The girl clearly didn’t live here, first she was too well off and second she looked like she didn’t know if she should just turn around and run away. Spring Meadow fixed her with another glare

“WHAT?”
Spring had to yell, because of the loud music coming from inside, but she would have anyway. She was tired from her shift, she hadn’t even eaten yet, and she already had two emotionally fragile teens who were about to tick off. She didn’t want to deal with another one, especially one who was clueless.

However, the teen showed some guts and kept eye contact with Spring. She even managed some coherent words
“Um, hello. Is Ocean Shore home?”
Spring just raised her brow
“Who wants to know?”
“I, um, I’m her friend. From school”

Blue had told her about the friends she made at CHS, but of course had never invited them over. They all seemed like nice girls and bringing them here would lead to questions Blue would never want to hear. Spring had met only two of the girls who had visited Sunset Shimmer in the hospital, but that girl wasn’t one of them.

Spring just looked at her suspiciously, but the girl was too nervous and innocent. She probably didn’t have any hidden agenda for visiting. Spring forced herself to take a deep breath. Chill, girl. It’s normal that friends visit each other at home. Just because you didn’t have that kind of friends doesn’t mean Blue can’t.

Spring waved for the girl to wait and walked back into the flat. She slammed her flat hand against Blue’s door, and her sister responded immediately
“FUCK OFF!”
Spring just grinned and knocked again
“You have a friend at the door.”
“Friend? Who?”
Spring glanced back towards the girl who waited at the open door
“Some dyke with rainbow hair.”

The girl’s cheeks flushed up immediately and she shuffled from one leg to another. Spring just laughed. She heard a groan from behind her as Blue stepped out of the room. They shared a glance and Spring retreated to her own room, while Blue took over glaring at Rainbow Dash at the front door

“Um, hi Blue.”
Blue didn’t say anything and just kept glaring, angry music blaring from behind her
“I, um, I saw your running off with Sunset and I thought, you know?”
Blue crossed her arms in front of her chest and still said nothing
“So, nice place you have here…”
Rainbow Dash trailed off as Blue’s glare only intensified

“How do you know where I live?”
“I, um, I’ve known for a while.”
“How?”
“I followed you home one day. But I haven’t told anyone, I swear!”
Blue kept glaring, but her head tilted to the side
“And why not?”
“You didn’t want to talk about it, so I thought I’d better not tell the others.”
Blue rolled her eyes
“Gee, thanks. And now that you’ve said hi, you can piss off again.”
“What? No, wait! Sunset is with you, right? I’ll stay.”
“No fucking way. You’re the fucking last person Sunset needs to see right now.”

Rainbow Dash still didn’t move and her eyes narrowed to a glare of her own
“You’re swearing again. And I’ll stay.”
Blue balled her hands to fists and took one menacing step towards Rainbow Dash. Dash didn’t move, only her eyes darted to the door Blue had come out of, as she expected Sunset inside as well. She glared back at Blue and they both knew she wouldn’t leave, not without a fight.

Blue just barely stopped herself from throwing the first punch. She forced the image of Sunset into her mind, how scared and hurt the girl had looked back at school. A fight wouldn’t solve anything and it wouldn’t help Sunset the least. Rainbow might have the heart at the right place for going after her friend, but she also had the tendency to screw everything over with the things she said without thinking. So Blue wouldn’t give her the chance.

“Not a fucking word.”
Rainbow seemed surprised that Blue had started talking instead of fighting and she didn’t understand
“What?”
“Shut up! You can stay, but I don’t want to hear a single fucking word out of you.”
“And why?”
Blue shoved her backwards, harder than necessary, but it was the only thing she could do at the moment
“SHUT UP! If you say anything, I’ll smack your sorry ass out of town, so shut up! SHUT UP!”
With that, Blue suddenly turned around and headed to the door. Rainbow Dash stared after her and didn’t know what to do from that outburst, but ran after her anyway. She could figure out Blue’s craziness later, right now Sunset was more important.

Once she stepped into the bedroom, Rainbow had to fight the urge to cover her ears. The music was loud and angry and droned out everything else. On top of that, what she saw gave her just another kick in the guts.

Sunset Shimmer had retreated to the relative safety of the bed. She had turned towards the far wall and a curtain of flame-coloured hair obscured her face. She sat there curled up and hugging her knees, still clutching on the pillow from earlier.

Rainbow didn’t know how to react so she just raised her hand like she was waving and opened her mouth for a mindless ‘Hello’. Before she could, a pillow hit the side of her face and Blue glared at her. Not a fucking word

Blue sprawled out on the floor in the middle of the room again. Rainbow Dash retreated to the corner behind the door, as far away from the bed as possible, even if she didn’t stop staring at Sunset.

Sunset had looked bad at school, but Rainbow thought that it had been because of the other students. Those fucking bastards had threatened Sunset, bullied her and even attacked her, so of course she would be afraid of them. But back here, she was safe, she had to be safe, so why did she look that broken? Why didn’t she even look at her? Why did Blue almost kick her out before she had even arrived?

It then dawned on Rainbow Dash what Blue meant. You’re the fucking last person Sunset needs to see right now. Rainbow felt her legs give out underneath her and she slumped down the wall and on her butt.
I’m one of them. Sunset is afraid of everyone and I’m one of them. She trusted me and I burnt her worse than the others. There’s no difference for her between me, the girls or any other student at CHS. No, I’m even worse, because I told her she could trust me and then turned on her anyway.

She couldn’t blame Sunset. Rainbow Dash before Anon-A-Miss would have just acted like nothing ever happened. Just ignore the complicated feely stuff and move on. But that had been before she had seen Sunset Shimmer, covered in her own blood and barely alive.

She had apologized, along with the others. She had one awkward visit at the hospital with Fluttershy, but she hadn’t said much then. Because talking made things complicated. Talking meant that she had to face her own mistakes, worse, her own feelings. That just wasn’t something Rainbow Dash did and Sunset knew that. Rainbow had given Sunset many reasons to believe that, but not a single one that she had changed. That she had been changed, as well. Why would Sunset want to talk now, or even see her?

Coming here was a stretch. Confronting her was pushing it past the breaking point. Blue had seen it and thankfully stopped Rainbow from doing something stupid, again. Sunset couldn’t face it right now, and as much as Rainbow wanted to get over it, this wasn’t about her. It couldn’t be about her. It was about Sunset and it had to be about Sunset from now on, for as long as necessary.  

The music droned on and on. Sunset stared at the wall and Rainbow stared at Sunset. Blue was in between them, like a physical barrier. From the stereo, the music blared
Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge and I’m about to break. Everything you say to me takes me one step closer to the edge and I’m about to break.

Rainbow had lost the feeling in her legs some time ago but she stayed in the corner. The deafening music didn’t give her any chance to think and she was grateful for that. Sunset had lost a lot of her tension as well, even though she was still staring at the wall, she wasn’t clutching on the pillow any more. It was a break from everything for her.

A blurry motion pulled Rainbow’s eyes away from Sunset for a moment. Blue hadn’t moved for half an hour but now she was waving her arms through the air while still laying on her back. The motion seemed so erratic that Rainbow watched a full minute before she realized that Blue was air-drumming or something similar. On any other day, Rainbow would tease her since Blue’s arms and the rhythm didn’t match up at all, even she as a guitarist could tell that. However the stereo was blaring out an aggressive song and Blue, even with her eyes closed, matched that almost too well. As Rainbow watched, Blue flailed her arms fast and hard while the song turned from loud singing to angry shouting. Rainbow hadn’t seen anything like it from the girl before, but she could tell what was happening. Blue was screaming along to the music now as well and with each thrust of her arms, she channelled more of her anger

If I turn my back I’m defenceless and to give in to fate seems senseless, if I hide my pride and let it all go on then they take from me until everything is gone, if I let them go I’ll be outdone, if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun, if I’m killed by the questions like a cancer, I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer BY MYSELF!

Rainbow just could not laugh when Blue turned into an uncoordinated mess of flailing arms on the floor, but it was only partially because she looked funny. All that flaring and shouting, to the point of tears even, had a strange effect on Blue and by extension on Rainbow as well. It was almost like some of that anger just, not vanished, but changed into something more bearable. Something that wouldn’t make her punch the first person she saw. Blue just, in lack of a better word, let go.

Rainbow looked up and saw that Sunset had turned around to watch Blue as well, with as much fascination as she did. Then she looked up and their eyes met. For a moment there was a flicker of understanding and a spark inside Sunset’s eyes that had been missing for a while now. It didn’t stay very long, but Rainbow had seen it.

How do you expect, I lost so much, I’m so afraid, I’m out of touch. How do you expect, that I know what to do, when all I know, is what you tell me to?

There was a second of silence in the song before an even harder guitar riff set in, and before Rainbow knew what she was doing, she moved along. Her upper body bounced back and forth to the beat and her left arm stretched out. Her fingers moved on imaginary strings on her air-guitar and she screamed along to the song. On the other side of the room, Sunset did the same, only she had her eyes closed. Instead of screaming, she was banging her head which made the flame-coloured hair whip around like crazy as she strummed along. In the middle of the room, Blue kept torturing her invisible drum-set.

DON’T YOU KNOW, I can’t tell you how to make it STOP, no matter what I do and how hard I TRY, I can’t seem to convince myself WHY, I’m stuck on the outside,
DON’T YOU KNOW, I can’t tell you how to make it STOP, no matter what I do and how hard I TRY, I can’t seem to convince myself WHY, I’m stuck on the outside.
I CAN’T GO ON!

The song kept going on for a while longer, and the girls kept going with just as much intensity. Sunset looked more alive than she had since before winter break, even.

When the song ended abruptly, Sunset and Rainbow looked at each other again, with less tension than before. It would take a long time before they could grin at each other and throw quips like they used to, but it already was a glimmer of hope, even if it only lasted a second.

The next song started with some piano tunes instead of heavy guitar, and Sunset’s eyes clouded over. It struck a different chord in her. Rainbow slumped back down against the wall and Blue’s arms dropped back on the floor
I tried so hard and got so far. In the end, it doesn’t even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

Rainbow and Sunset both ended up starting at their respective walls, one close to tears and the other stuck with depressing thoughts running circles in her mind.
They both snapped out when Blue started singing along, out of the blue.

They never heard her singing voice before. Blue hung around at band practice, but she had not shown any ambition of joining in. As far as they knew, she didn’t play any instrument and the thought of a tough girl like Blue to sing just seemed wrong. Now her voice had a different quality to it, a few notches higher than her normal voice but still deeper than any of the other girls in the band. She still had that angry undertone as well

I tried so hard, in spite of the way you were mocking me, acting like I was part of your propriety, I’m surprised we got so far. Things aren’t the way they were before, you wouldn’t even recognize me any more, not that you knew me back then, but it all comes back to me, in the end.

Rainbow just stared straight ahead as the meaning sunk in, to some degree. This kind of desperation, in lack of a better word, had never touched her life, before Anon-A-Miss. Of course, she knew that Blue had been through some shit, but that was never more than just stories. She was doing fine now, right? She had friends after all. Friends who fell apart over a dumb frame job from some jealous middle school girls.

Just then, Rainbow heard Sunset’s voice. Unlike Blue, Sunset just sounded broken. And she reminded her that she knew better than both of them
I’ve put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go, for all this, there’s only one thing you should know. I’ve put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go, for all this, there’s only one thing you should know.
I’ve tried so hard and got so far. In the end, it doesn’t even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all. In the end, it doesn’t even matter.

It wasn’t like Rainbow didn’t want to understand, but she couldn’t. She had never been that far off. She’d thrown tantrums when she lost at sporting competitions, but that wasn’t the same as losing everything. Sunset had been alone for three years before the Fall Formal. Three years, and she was thirteen back then. She had gone from living in a castle to sleeping in the streets before she found her cheap-ass apartment. Blue maybe had her sister, but she had never had much else. She never had the chance to build anything up because they kept moving all the time and money was always short. Rainbow’s family wasn’t rich, but she never had to worry about anything, which was more than could be said about Sunset or Blue.

And now, she had taken even more away from Sunset who already had so little. She’d taken away that little bit of trust Sunset had worked so hard on to build up after she had been blasted into a crater at the Fall Formal. Sunset had given friendship a chance and got burnt worse than she ever had when it was just her.  

And somehow, Sunset was still trying to give friendship another chance. She had told them at the hospital, with Princess Twilight. She had tried to show it when they had been visiting her. Rainbow had thought nothing of it, but now she saw, she realized just how hard it really was. She couldn’t take this for granted. She wouldn’t let all of Sunset’s fight go to waste again. And even if it meant she had to face her own feelings, she wouldn’t act like nothing had happened.

Both Blue and Sunset turned their heads when they heard Rainbow’s voice. The tough and always cool athlete with her giant ego was sitting in the corner with her eyes closed and tears running down her face. Something about Rainbow Dash showing emotions just didn’t compute, especially since she was also sobbing her way through the song
I’ve tried so hard and got so far. In the end, it doesn’t even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all. In the end, it doesn’t even matter.

Rainbow yelped when something hit her face and jerked her eyes open again. Blue just glared at her, after she’d thrown a pillow at her, but it wasn’t the same glare as she had at the door and Blue’s voice didn’t sound as angry either
“I told you, not a fucking word. If you want to sing, go back to your girl band.”

Blue kept glaring at Rainbow, knowing that Sunset would be watching very closely. As she had gambled, Rainbow picked up the challenge in her voice and reacted in what was normal, for her
“Hey! We’re not a girl band! The Rainbooms are a rock band!”
Blue just rolled her eyes
“Sure, rock band. You have Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity. You’re the definition of a girl band.”
“Hey! We also got Applejack!”
“You’re right. You’re a country music girl band.”
“Oh yeah?”
Blue grinned when Rainbow hurled the pillow back at her. Now she’s going to talk about how she’s the band leader and how awesome she is.

She never expected to hear what Rainbow said instead
“Just so you know, any band with Sunset Shimmer in it is pure rock, period!”
Blue was so baffled that she gaped at Rainbow for a moment, enough for her to start laughing. She would have argued, but she also heard chuckling from behind her and Sunset’s voice who sounded more alive than she had all day
“She’s got you now, Blue.”

Rainbow and Sunset just laughed harder and Blue rolled her eyes. She knew when she was beaten
“Okay, fine. But Red’s like the only redeeming factor you ever had. You couldn’t keep up without her.”

Rainbow stopped chuckling immediately and looked directly at Sunset for the first time since she arrived and their eyes met. There was no challenge in her voice any more and she sounded completely serious
“I know.”
Blue turned around to see Sunset hide away an awkward blush behind the veil of her hair. Before anyone could say more, they all flinched from the new voice from the door

“If you’re finally done moping, how about you turn down that music now?”
Spring Meadow stood in the door, shouting over the angry music that was still blaring. Blue had completely toned it out for a few minutes but now got up and turned off the stereo altogether. Rainbow Dash also stood up from the floor and watched Spring Meadow as if she was expecting her to throw her out now.

Spring ignored both of them and turned to Sunset instead
“I just got a text from Vice-Principal Luna. She’s going to come pick you up in an hour or so.”
Sunset blushed and nodded hesitantly while Spring Meadow only had an understanding smile for her, that turned right into a glare as she fixed on Blue next
“And you better have a damned good explanation why you skipped classes today. I’m not saving your sorry butt from this one.”
Blue just rolled her eyes and nodded as well, so Spring fixed the last girl with another thoroughly intimidating glare
“Any problems with that?”
“No Ma’am! Totally fine with that, Ma’am.”
“Good.”

Rainbow Dash almost didn’t believe her eyes as the terrifying young woman in front of her turned back into the kind and understanding big sister Blue told her about in the blink of an eye, complete with a warm voice to match
“Now, does anyone want some cookies? I just finished a batch.”

Spring Meadow didn't even wait for an answer and helped Sunset back on her feet. With the care she’d expected from a nurse, Sunset was guided back into the kitchen and sat down on one of the cheap fold chairs. Rainbow followed quietly and took the seat at the other side of the table, but in the tiny kitchen it barely made any difference.

Blue followed as last and pulled a jug of milk out of the fridge. Rainbow couldn’t help but noticed that the fridge was almost empty.

Spring put a plate with cookies in the middle of the table. They were just plain cookies, but fresh from the oven and they scented heavenly, so Rainbow didn’t wait long before she snatched one.

Sunset hesitated for a moment longer, but when she took a bite, she was smiling a little at least. Blue hoped it wasn’t just because of the cookie, even though it didn’t hurt that her sister knew how to bake

“These are awesome!”
Blue rolled her eyes as Rainbow Dash stated the obvious and shoved another cookie into her mouth. She didn’t mention that the only reason they had home-made cookies was because they were cheaper than buying from the store. Blue also didn’t mention that they didn’t have any milk left when everyone had finished their glass. Rainbow didn’t need to know that and Sunset definitely shouldn’t worry about that right now.

Blue looked back at her sister and only now noticed that Spring was glaring at her for a while now
“Maybe you should start on your homework, Blue. Your vice-principal will be here soon and you don’t have a good excuse for leaving school early.”

At this, Blue only groaned and slumped forward until her head hit the table
“I didn’t stay long enough to get all homework. I’ll be stuck in detention all month.”
“Or maybe not!”

Rainbow chimed in, around another cookie, and rummaged in her school bag
“I’ve got everything for you and Sunset. Figured you wouldn’t come back today, so I picked your stuff up.”
Blue and Sunset exchanged a quick glance and Blue said what they were both thinking
“Since when are you planning ahead, Dash?”
“So it was Rarity’s idea, big deal. I’m the one who came here, right?”
All the girls could laugh at that, even Sunset. It was only a chuckle, but Blue counted it as a win for today.

Spring Meadow cleared the table and each girl leaned over their respective homework for a while. Sunset’s exhaustion from earlier was almost gone by now and her pen flew over her algebra sheets, even though she was in the advanced course. Blue just shrugged it off, she had no reason to be jealous and made good progress on her stuff. Rainbow Dash, as usual, didn’t get much done, but today it wasn’t because she was lazy. Blue noticed that she looked like she was deep in thought, which really wasn’t like Rainbow at all. After a couple of minutes, Rainbow put her pen down and looked at Sunset
“Hey, can I ask you something?”

Sunset hadn’t noticed Rainbow’s unusual behaviour and looked up surprised, but Blue tensed up, ready to intervene in case Dash said something stupid or thoughtless, as she often did
“If you don’t want to tell me, that’s cool but…”
“Do you need help with your homework?”
“What? No! I mean, yeah probably, but that’s not what I wanted to say!”
“So just spill it, Dash. I’m sure I can take it.”
Sunset sounded better than all morning, but she still looked shaken to Blue. Rainbow decided to go with it anyway
“So, why is Vice-Principal Luna picking you up? You’re not in trouble, are you?”

Blue resisted the urge to punch Rainbow right then and there. Of course, Rainbow didn’t know that Principal Celestia was Sunset’s official guardian. Blue knew because Celestia had told her, but Blue knew better than to spread news like that. Even after Anon-A-Miss, most people at school would react poorly if they knew.

Sunset froze up and looked down at her hands. She didn’t dare to look at Rainbow Dash and Blue could tell she was trying to work out if she should tell them or not. It was sensible information and even before Anon-A-Miss, Blue wasn’t sure if Sunset would have told that to her friends. Sunset seemed to think otherwise though and took a risk
“I moved in with Principal Celestia after I was released from the hospital. She and Luna live together, so Vice-Principal Luna is picking me up to get me home tonight.”

“Oh.”
Blue watched Rainbow Dash closely, but for once the athlete didn’t just blurt out the first thing on her mind. It was a bit much to take in on top of everything else, so Blue jumped in to help Rainbow out
“That’s good, right? Better than living alone in a tiny apartment. All by yourself.”
Rainbow, thankfully, got the clue and followed up
“Yeah. It’s great you’ve got someone looking out for you now. And Principal Celestia is only like the nicest person in the whole school. Vice-Principal Luna though…”
Rainbow made a face like she’d bitten into a lemon, but Blue just rolled her eyes
“Miss Luna is okay once you get to know her. I should know.”
Sunset nodded along but Rainbow needed a moment to catch on, as usual
“Why would you… Oh, right. Social worker and stuff. Gotcha.”

Sunset giggled when Blue faked a punch towards Rainbow and Rainbow acted like she’d been hit out of her chair. They hadn’t noticed that Spring Meadow had slipped out of the kitchen.
“You’re both such dorks.”
“Oh yeah? Better than egghead of the year like you!”
“That ‘egghead’ can still refuse to help you with your math homework, Dash.”
“Have I mentioned recently how much I admire your intellect, Sunset?”
They laughed it up again, even Sunset who didn’t hold back this time and for a moment, it seemed like nothing had ever happened.

Surprisingly, it was Rainbow Dash who sobered up first into a pensive expression
“I really should have told you that more often. Sorry for that.”
Sunset deflated in her seat and looked down at her hands again
“It… it’s okay Dash. Don’t worry about it.”
“It’s not. It’s not okay. But, thanks Sunset.”

Before the moment could get any more awkward, Spring Meadow came back with Vice-Principal Luna in tow. To Blue’s relief, she didn’t look that angry, but one look at her and Blue knew she was in trouble anyway. She sighed and held up her hands as a sign of surrender
“Your office, first thing tomorrow?”
Luna had that almost-evil smirk as she added
“I also wouldn’t make any afternoon-plans for the rest of the week if I were you.”

Rainbow Dash snickered and tried to hide it as a cough, while Spring Meadow just frowned. Blue ignored both at them and turned towards Sunset. She looked guilty above anything else, but Blue surprised her with a smirk of her own
“Totally worth it.”