My Life is Warped

by Mister E-Nonymous


Chapter 1: What Happened to my Life?!

Chapter 1: What Happened to my Life?!


Raymond was surprised and confused on what has happened to her. She was looking all over her body after her so called mother stopped hugging her.

"What has happened to me?!" she thought. "I completely changed. What am I going to tell my friends?" She then widened her eyes with a revelation. "My friends! They might know what's going on."

Raymond then walked out of the studio and saw only Steve and Fred, starting to walk away from the studio. She then started running towards them.

"Steve! Fred! Help me!" Raymond called out as she was running up to them. The two of them turned around in confusion. "My body changed! You gotta help me!"

The two of them looked at each other in confusion, and then looked back at Raymond and said, "Sorry, girl. But we don't know who you are."

"What?!" Raymond asked. "You don't know..." She then noticed. Alice wasn't with them. "Wait a minute. Where's Alice?"

"Alice?" asked Fred. "That cheerleader who's working at the diner?"

"Wait! Alice is working?" Raymond thought in her head. "She shouldn't be working! She's pregnant!"

"So, what is it that you want?" asked Steve.

Raymond then started thinking until she finally asked, "Tell me one thing. Do you know a young man named Raymond Dallas?"

"Raymond Dallas?" asked Fred. "Doesn't ring any bells."

"Nope," said Steve. "Never heard of anyone named Raymond Dallas. Anyway, we gotta go." Then the two of them started running.

"But... but... but..." Raymond said as she stood there shocked. She then got angry and was about to chase them. "Hang on! I still need to talk to you!" She was then stopped when someone grabbed her arm. She looked behind her and saw her "mother" was the one who grabbed her.

"Aren't those boys a little old for you to be either of your boyfriends?" asked the woman.

Raymond went wide eyed and thought, "She thinks I was wanting to date them?! That's not what I was trying to do! I need to get out of here!" She then looked up at the woman and said, "Uh... I... have to... go for a walk. I'll... catch up later."

"Okay, honey," she said, then giving Raymond a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you when you get back home. Here's your stuff." She then handed Raymond a blue and yellow duffel bag. There were yellow lightning bolts all across it. Then the woman started heading off.

"Okay, okay," Raymond thought, still freaking out. "It's nothing too bad. You're completely in a girl's body in a different reality where Raymond Dallas probably doesn't exist. You got this." She then started mentally freaking out. "Oh, who am I kidding?! I don't got this! My life it totally warped! I need to find a way to get back to normal and back into my own reality! If only somebody could help me!" She then started thinking. Then she got an idea. "Alice!" She then started heading off somewhere.


Raymond ran all over the city to find Alice. Eventually, she found Alice at Roxy's Diner. She and another woman were coming out of the diner. Raymond looked over at Alice and saw that Alice didn't have a two month pregnant belly. Which means she wasn't pregnant.

"My child, too?!" Raymond thought. "Has everything in my life changed? I gotta make things right! Starting with Alice!"

She then started running up to Alice, but stopped when she overheard Alice's conversation.

"I know, Sasha," Alice said. "But it's been so hard trying to find the right man. Just about every man in college is just about a snobbish jerk. There aren't any nice guys around my age that I could fall for. I just wish there was someone for me to date."

Raymond hid in an alley, listening in on Alice's conversation. As soon as Alice finished, Raymond's eye started getting full of tears. She then thought, "My own girlfriend isn't even dating someone? Oh, why did this happen to me. I gotta make things right!" She then started getting up and then tried getting to her old girlfriend, but tripped and landed on the ground, scraping both of her arms. "Ow!"

Alice and her friend turned to see Raymond on the ground. Raymond looked at her arms to see that she scraped them. Alice walked towards Raymond and asked, "Are you alright?"

Raymond got worried. She then nervously said, "Y-yeah. I'll be fine."

"Oh, you poor thing," Alice said. "Your arms are scraped up. Let me patch you up." She then looked over at her friend and said, "I'll see you back at the dorm, Sasha." Sasha nodded and headed off. Alice then carried Raymond over to a bus stop and brought out a small first aid kit from her purse. "Let's get you disinfected and then I'll bandage you up." She then rubbed some disinfectant wipes on Raymond's arms. "So, you've been here long?"

Raymond thought about what she should say to what was supposed to be her girlfriend before she changed. She didn't know what to say to her. So, she said to Alice, "Uh... a while."

"Wait a minute, I know you," said Alice.

"Y-you do?" Raymond asked.

"Of course," said Alice. "You're Rainbow Dash. The one of the top five best athletes in the entire state of Washington. Best in Cross-Country, Volleyball and Soccer. You're an inspiration to other athletes across the state."

"Cross-Country? Volleyball? Soccer?" Raymond thought to himself. "Those aren't the sports I'm into. I prefer sports like wrestling and hockey."

"And that hair of yours is so colorful," said Alice. "Your hair looks so natural."

"Uhh..." Raymond said. She then remembered that she was wearing a wig. She then tried taking it off, but it was stuck. The hair didn't feel fake at all, but real.

"Hey, be careful with your hair," said Alice. "Well, I have to get on back to my dorm. Hopefully, you can get into a good college."

"College?!" Raymond thought. "Oh, no. I completely forgot! I lost six years of living, and I probably have to go back to high school! I can't relive another two years of high school and restart another four years of college. I worked hard to get into the University of Washington." He didn't notice that Alice left and her arms were fully bandaged over the scrapes. She looked around to see if she could find Alice. There was no sign of Alice.

Then she got out her bag and saw a cell phone with a blue case with small symbols that had a cloud with a rainbow bolt of lightning coming out of it. It also had a flap with pockets for cards, cash or ID.

"Even my cell phone changed?" Raymond asked herself. She then looked at the school ID, and saw it was the face I had currently. "Oh, c'mon! Even my picture? What else could have changed?" She then put the ID back into the pocket, but then her phone started ringing. She then looked at the caller ID and it said Dad. "Oh, boy." She then answered the phone and said, "Hello?"

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" came the raspy voice of a male adult that Raymond didn't know. "You mind picking up an order from the bakery. You mind picking it up for us?"

"Uh... sure," said Raymond.

"Thanks, Rainbow Dash," said "Rainbow's" "Dad". "I'll see you when you get home." He then hung up.

"Home?" Raymond thought to himself. "Where exactly is this Rainbow Dash's home?! The only home I know here is in that apartment I live at with Steve and Fred." She then looked back at her phone and said, "Well, I'm gonna have ta look up where this girl lives." She then opened the map app on her phone and searched for her home in this reality. Turns out, it was the same exact place she used to live as her old life did. "Great. Of course it had to be in the exact same address as I did when I was a college student. Might as well go to the bakery and pick up what this world's version of my dad wants me to pick up for him." She then sighed.


Raymond went by the bakery to pick something up. She was told by the baker that the order was already paid for. Raymond then walked towards her home. She eventually made it and saw that the parking garage of where the vehicles of where me, Steve and Fred park our cars. But instead, there were just two cars in the parking lots. Both of them were Ford Mustangs. One car was a red convertible when the other was white.

"Seriously?" Raymond asked. "My car, too? I had a perfectly good Ford Shelby, and now it's gone." She then sighed and mumbled, "I want my life back."

She then walked towards the stairs and headed to her apartment. She walked up to the apartment she was used to living in.

Raymond sighed and said, "Well, here goes nothing." She then opened the door and inside, she saw that the apartment she lived in was now different. Now it was the apartment that belonged to a small family. She looked around to see if anyone was home. She didn't see anyone at first. She then put the box she got from the bakery on the kitchen counter. That was then she was grabbed by someone wrapping their arms around Raymond's waste.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" came a young girl's voice. Raymond looked down at her and saw a girl that's at least 10 years old. She has dark purple hair. Raymond didn't know what to do.

She then faked a smile and said, "Uh... hey, uh... squirt..."

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" she said. "You wanna play that racing game we got two months ago?"

"Uhhh..." Raymond said, not knowing what to say. "I... I really don't feel that good. Maybe..."

"But you always wanted to play Wild Racers with me," said the smaller girl. "Ever since you and your family took me in after... you know. What happened to my parents."

Raymond didn't know this girl, but since the girl that Raymond has become liked doing stuff with this girl. She didn't want the little girl to be disappointed.

She sighed and said, "Okay. "But first, I have to use the bathroom."

"Alright," said the girl. "I'll set up the game. Let's show everyone in the world that no one is better than the team play of Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo!"

"Scootaloo? Is that this girl's name?" Raymond thought. "And what happened to her parents?" She then had a realization. "Did her parents...? Oh. Poor kid. Well, I guess that this... Rainbow Dash did the right thing on bringing her in to stay with her family." She then went into the bathroom. When she reached the bathroom, she tried to pee like boys do. But then she remembered. "Oh, right. I'm not a boy anymore."

She then sat on the toilet seat and released the urine she had been holding. She then remembered what her girlfriend said about the outfit she was wearing. "It's stuff I got an idea from the show 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic' and 'Equestria Girls'. You're going to be attending one class with stuff that almost makes you look like Rainbow Dash."

She then pulled out her phone and started looking up the show. But something surprised her. She then thought, "What? What do you mean that there is no show known as My Little Pony?" She then looked down at her body and whispered, "I shouldn't even be in this body." She then finished using the toilet and flushed it. She walked over towards the sink and washed her hands. She then looked at her reflection and saw the face that she saw back in the mirror of the yoga studio. She then said, "I guess this is my life now. And there's nothing I can do." She then sighed, got a little upset and said, "No. This shouldn't be possible. I must find a way to get back into my body and reality."

She then walked out of the bathroom, looking around where the girl, Scootaloo, went. She then looked in the rooms, starting with the one closest to the bathroom. That room was locked. She sighed, and then walked towards the rooms at the end of the end of the hall. Then she heard the kid's voice. "Rainbow Dash, c'mon! I already got the game set up!"

Raymond sighed and went into the room where Scootaloo went into. It was her room when she was still a young man. But everything was different. The bed covers were blue with yellow lightning bolts, there was a trophy case with a lot of trophies and medals. There was a dresser by the bed, and it had the colors of the rainbow, and some girls deodorant some lip care products. And in her closet, instead of the polo shirts and other clothes that men hang in their closet, there were some dresses and jackets in her size.

"Well, you comin' or what?" came Scootaloo's voice. Scootaloo was sitting on the bed and got the game setup. She then got up off the bed, walked over to Raymond, closed the door and then pulled Raymond towards the bed. Raymond was then handed a video game controller. Then they started playing the game.


The two of them were playing that game for the next two hours. They finished their racing game. Just then, Scootaloo got up.

"Where are you going?" Raymond asked.

"I gotta use the bathroom," said Scootaloo. "I'll be right back." She then went out of the room and closed it.

Raymond sighed and looked around. She decided to look into the drawers of clothes she had. There were a lot of girl clothes, mostly athletic shirts. She then looked at the underwear drawer and saw a bunch of sports bras, sports panties and socks. She then looked into the pants drawers, and saw a bunch of yoga pants, running pants and shorts.

"Seriously?" Raymond asked herself quietly. "All I have in my drawers are girly sport clothes?" She then sighed. "Guess I have no choice but to wear them." She then opened one more drawer and saw a bunch of girls pajamas. That made Raymond sigh.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" came the voice of Scootaloo from outside the room. "There's someone at the door here for you!"

Raymond then sighed and said, "Guess I have no choice but to go." She then went out of her room and saw that the end entrance of the hall was covered by black blankets. "Hello?! Is anyone there?" She walked through the blankets and was surprised on what she saw.

"Surprise!"

A bunch of people were in the apartment, surprising her. Then that woman who was Rainbow Dash's mother, along with a man with rainbow hair in a buzz cut, wearing a green button up shirt with a white shirt underneath, and some blue jeans walked up behind Raymond, surprising her.

"Happy Birthday, Rainbow Dash!" both of them said.

"Oh, you've become such a big girl ever since I held you in my arms," said "Rainbow's" Mom. "I love you so much."

"I love you just as much, Rainbow Dash!" said the man. "You know how much your pops enjoys how you are at those sports!"

"I... I... don't... know what to say..." said Raymond.

"Speechless," said "Rainbow's" mom. "Now, let's get this party started."

"This is gonna be a long day," Raymond thought. She then sighed.


It was already getting dark outside. A bunch of people had already given Raymond a bunch of birthday presents meant for Rainbow Dash. Raymond didn't know what to do, but to keep Rainbow's present in her closet.

"Oh, Rainbow," came the voice of Rainbow's mother. Raymond turned around and saw Rainbow's mother with a small box in her hands. "There's one more thing. Here." Raymond took the box and opened it up.

Raymond looked inside and their was a rainbow striped bikini top with red outlines. And the bikini bottom was red with a rainbow outline. Raymond then said, "A bikini?"

"That's right," said Rainbow's mom. "Since school starts a week from Wednesday, we're going to take the next five days at a beach down south. We already got plane tickets and we'll be leaving tomorrow. So, go ahead and pack up your things. We'll take Tank to the kennel tomorrow."

Raymond was about to ask who Tank was, but then she felt something rubbing against her leg. She looked down and saw a tortoise. Rainbow's mom then picked up the tortoise.

"Go on ahead and pack up. We got a flight tomorrow at 10:00," said Rainbow's mom. "Your suitcase is in your closet."

Raymond nodded and then walked towards her room. She walked towards the closet and opened it up. She saw the suitcase and pulled it out.

"I hope when I wake up tomorrow, everything will be back to normal," Raymond thought. "I really don't want to spend the rest of my life as a rainbow haired girl with a family I don't know."

Raymond then started packing up some clothes that the girl she turn into would wear. Mostly the summer wear. She then finished packing and then she smelt herself.

"Hoowee!" Raymond said. "I stink. Or rather... You know what. Never mind. I better get cleaned up." Raymond then stripped herself out of her clothes, put on a bathrobe, and walked towards the bathroom.

"Hey, Rainbow!" came Rainbow's father's voice. "Heading to take a shower? Well make it a quick shower. You know your adopted sister really likes her bath time."

"Rainbow Dash only takes showers?!" Raymond thought. "I really don't like showers unless I really have to." She then sighed and walked towards the shower. She then went into the shower and started cleaning herself.


In the middle of the night, Raymond was fast asleep. She was in a pair of Rainbow's pajamas. But as she was sleeping, she was going through another change. This time, her skin was turning into a different color. It went from a tan color to cyan blue. She didn't seem to notice.

The next morning went by in a flash. Raymond was coming to. She woke up and looked down at her body. She then thought, "Great. I thought I would wake up back in my old body. Guess I was wrong." She then headed towards the bathroom. She looked at the mirror for a second before using the toilet. But then she went wide eyed and went back to looking at the mirror. She saw that not only her skin changed, but also the color of her eyes. Instead of her eyes being hazel, they were now magenta colored. "You've got to be kidding me! My skin! My eyes! No way these guys aren't gonna notice that their rainbow haired girl didn't change her skin color or eye color!"

Just then, the room across the bathroom opened up and the girl who was Rainbow's adoptive sister came out. Her skin color was also orange, and her eyes were purple. She looked up at Raymond and said, "Hey, Rainbow Dash! You ready for the trip?!"

"Uhhhh... I guess so..." Raymond said nervously.

"Are you okay, Rainbow Dash?" asked Scootaloo. "You seem a little nervous."

"I'll... I'll be okay," said Raymond. "Why don't you go on and get breakfast?"

"I thought we were going to be eating breakfast at the airport," said Scootaloo.

"Oh, right," said Raymond. "Do you mind if... I have a little privacy?"

"Oh, of course," said Scootaloo.

Raymond closed the bathroom door, looked at the bathroom and said, "My gender. My hair. My skin. My eyes. What else does reality want to mess up in my life? I'm hating this more and more."