//------------------------------// // Interlude: Technicalities // Story: Rekindled Embers // by applezombi //------------------------------// Interlude: Technicalities              Astrolabe yawned as she checked the train station wall clock for the fifth time in the last twenty minutes.  The train was late.  Normally she wouldn’t have minded, but it was three twenty-nine in the morning. Astrolabe needed to be in bed at least four hours ago.   It had been a long day in the hospital. Umbrella Surprise Memorial Hospital was a military medical center located an hour’s train ride back from the border to the Dragonlands. It wasn’t the busiest hospital in the Diarchy — but being the only Radiant stationed there, her days tended to be long and full.  Not that she minded. Busy hours kept her from thinking too hard about certain things.              Like your constant sinful thoughts.  Like how you’re a failure.  Like how you’ve never been able to apply a single bit of Falling Foehn’s advice.  Like how you’re now supposed to be a mentor to a younger Knight, showing her the ropes while you barely know what you’re doing. Pretender.              She shook her head violently to banish her mother’s judgemental voice and tried instead to focus on anything else at all.  She started counting floor tiles; the train station was clean but badly in need of repairs. Astrolabe tried to see if she could count how many cracked tiles needed replacement.  She wished desperately for somepony to talk to, but at the early hour, the station was silent as a tomb.              Astrolabe was at seventy-three when she heard the sound of an approaching train.  She glanced up at the clock; sixteen minutes late wasn’t too bad, she supposed.  She took a deep breath and slapped her face with her hooves lightly a few times, trying to wake herself up to present the best possible face to the brand new Radiant who was arriving to serve as her partner in the hospital.              The train pulled into the platform, and Astrolabe stood and trotted over to the doors, wiping her bleary eyes on the sleeve of her white robes.  Oh well; at least the train was here finally. She’d be heading back to sleep as soon as the new mare was off the train.              The train screeched to a stop and the door slid open, revealing a shockingly familiar face wearing white robes.  A two-tone blonde mane, reminiscent of gently waving grain, framed a beautiful face with sparkling yellow eyes and an oddly embarrassed smirk.   Astrolabe couldn’t help as her jaw dropped.              “Green Fields!  It’s… er… how… wha?” Astrolabe stammered.  Green Fields giggled, stepping off the train and throwing her hooves eagerly around her.  Astrolabe froze in shock.              “It’s good to see you too, silly,” Green Fields laughed.   Astrolabe’s heart was pounding in her chest.  She was sure her old friend could hear it.  Fear and joy, ecstasy and trepidation, filled her to the brim.              Why is she here?  Is she a torment sent straight from the Saints?  You’re tainted, you’re weak, you’re going to slip up and give into temptation again, aren’t you? Or maybe you were just a fling, just a toy to be used and thrown away?  And she’s here to trip you and toss you down in the mud, where you belong.  You’d never really be good enough for her anyways.              It took almost a full second for Astrolabe to resume the mask she wore at times; the one that hid the broiling mass of sin and crazy that went on in her head, usually in her late mother’s voice.  “Sorry,” she said shakily.  “I didn’t know what to—“ she took a deep breath.  “I mean, I’m just so surprised.  You never said what Order you were going to join.  I was sure you’d be in the Adamant.”              “That was the plan, originally.” Green Fields let go of her friend, with a look of brief reluctance.  “But when you told me you were joining the Radiant, I decided to tag along.”  She beamed, and Astrolabe’s heart beat even faster even as she once again felt a fake smile spread her lips.              “How did you end up stationed with me, then?” Astrolabe asked.  Behind them, the train doors slid closed and Astrolabe winced.  “Sorry.  I don't mean to interrogate you on a train platform.  C’mon, we can talk while we head back to the hospital.”              “Thanks.  It was a long ride, and I’d like to stretch my legs.”  Green Field took a moment to arch her spine and stretch.              Don’t ogle her, don’t think about that stuff, don’t remember that night, it never happened, it was a fluke, she’ll never—              “As to how I ended up here, well, I have my 'family connections' to thank for that,” Green Fields made air quotes with her hooves when she said it.  “I wanted to serve with you, after all.  That’s the whole reason I joined the Radiant, really.”              It was the second time she’d said something like that.  Astrolabe wondered what it meant with a guilty thrill of pleasure.              “Well, follow me, I’ll show you to the hospital,” Astrolabe said.  “I think it’s past my bedtime.”              “Of course,” Green Fields said.  “Sorry you had to wake up just to come meet me.  I thought it would be the hospital administrator.”  The two mares stepped out of the station into the dark night.              Good.  It’ll be too dark for her to see your sinful lust painted all over your face.  She won’t be able to notice your leering eyes.              “I volunteered,” Astrolabe said, her voice full of admiration.  “Lady Stiletto should be retired, but she refused even a medical release from the Knights Adamant, despite having only two remaining legs.  They put her in charge as the hospital administrator.  I do the physical tasks, but she’s a genius with paperwork and personnel, and she really knows how to squeeze a bit.”                “Wow.  Well, at least you’ll have help now, right?” Green Fields said cheerfully, bumping Astrolabe with her flank.              “Y-yeah, it’ll be nice.” Astrolabe tried to ignore the heat filling her face from the close contact. “Um, as long as you’ve studied up on your healing spells for burns.”              “Wow, are they that common?” Green Fields asked, pausing only briefly before answering her own question.  “I guess they would be; we’re close to the battle lines with the dragons, after all.”              “Yes, most of our work is long-term care for soldiers wounded by claws or burns.”  Astrolabe trotted her way through the small village of Lasthoof (really just a supply depot and a few odd houses and stores near the end of the train line, as well as the hospital) while Green Fields followed.              “Not teeth?” Green Fields asked.              Astrolabe shook her head, then remembered that it was probably too dark to see.  “Not really.  Most ponies who get that close to a dragon’s mouth don’t make it back to the hospital for long-term care.”              “Oh.” Green Fields sounded sick.              “It’s not too bad.  We only see them after first aid and triage.”  Astrolabe tried to make her voice comforting.              “Oh, I realize that,” Green Fields said.  “I read as much about your hospital when they assigned me here.  I just don’t like to see ponies suffering.”              It was a sentiment Astrolabe was surprised to hear from Green Fields.              Neither of you were so quick to feel that way when you were tormenting sponsorships back at the Ivy Seminary.  You knew Green was wrong, and you went along with things anyways.              “I…” she paused.  “Um—“              “Go ahead,” Green Fields sounded a little amused.  “I know you want to ask.”              “What happened?  You changed.”              “Does it bother you that I changed?” Green Fields sounded plaintive.              “No!” Astrolabe almost yelped.  “You just didn’t go into a lot of details.  It’s nice, though.”              “So I wasn’t nice before?” Green Fields teased.  When Astrolabe stammered nervously, looking for something to say, Green Fields laughed.  “Don’t worry.  I know I wasn’t.  And I hope I changed enough.”              Enough for what?              “What happened?” Astrolabe tried not to wonder what she meant.  She tried to ignore the rush of joy she felt, or the impossible implications that filled her imagination.              “At first, I was so angry,” Green Fields said with a shameful sigh.  “I blamed Emberglow, for sure.  I spent hours boiling in my own rage.  How dare that jumped up little common trash get in the way of my goals?”  Her voice was bitter.  “I was even angry at you.  We were both guilty, but I got punished and you got away.”              “Sorry,” Astrolabe mumbled.  She felt her face heating up with shame.              “Don’t be.  I was a bitch.  I needed a firm kick in the flank.”  She snorted.  “My great-grandpa stepped in and wouldn’t let me reapply for the Seminary until I’d ‘proved myself a better pony’.  He said I needed some serious humbling before I could try again.  He was right.”              “What did he do?” Astrolabe hated how nervous she felt.  Green Fields was her dearest friend, and she was sounding like a completely different pony.              Dearest friend?  That’s not what your sinful thoughts want her to be.  You greedy nag, you want more, don’t you?  Shame on you.              “He sent me to prison.” Green Fields stated simply.  Astrolabe made a shocked sort of yelp, and Green Fields giggled.  “Not as a prisoner, silly filly.  I was a reluctant volunteer, working under the Knights Vigilant who ran the prison.”              “What were you doing?”              “Mostly I worked in the kitchen, but I also helped with the rehabilitation and reeducation efforts.  I’ll tell you more about it later, if you want.  But it was what I needed.  Humbling, just like Grandpa Fields wanted.  I reapplied, became a Squire, and took my vows.  Now here I am, with you.”              You like how that sounds way too much.              “Well, I’m glad you’re here,” Astrolabe tried not to sound too happy.              Of course you’re happy.  Green Fields is here now.  You don’t have to think for yourself anymore, you can just fall into step behind your boss again.  Be her perfect flunky, her minion.  Just like Emberglow said.  Even if Green Fields has changed, it doesn’t matter. You’re still going to be a limp noodle, indecisive and weak.              “So this will be weird, with you being my boss,” Green Fields said, and Astrolabe stumbled in the darkness.  It was like Green Fields could read her thoughts.  “Don’t worry, ma’am.  I’m good at following orders.”  She giggled again, but there was enough earnestness in her tone that Astrolabe had to believe her.              She’s really serious.  Saints, doesn’t she know you at all?  You’re weak, indecisive, stupid.  You can’t make your own decisions.  You’re spilling over with sinful lust for your best friend, and you hang onto a memory you should have abandoned ages ago.  She’ll never love you.  She can’t love you.  That night was a mistake, created by smuggled alcohol and curiosity.  It will never happen again.  And when she realizes all that, you’re doomed.              “Astrolabe.” Green Fields’ voice was full of warning.  “Asty.”  Astrolabe’s heart leapt at the affectionate nickname.  “You’re doing that thing.  You know, where you get lost in your own thoughts.  And they’re never good ones.”              “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Astrolabe huffed.  Her mask was slipping. That was bad, especially in front of Green Fields.  Fortunately, the hospital building loomed in front of the mares, providing a convenient interruption to a conversation that had suddenly grown very uncomfortable.  “Here we are.”              Unlike the rest of the village, the hospital still had several lights on.  It was always open late into the night; ponies’ health didn’t bother with silly things like daylight hours, and neither did the Knights and staff at the hospital.  Astrolabe trotted up to the front doors and pushed them open.  She didn’t turn to look at Green Fields; she was terrified to see her face.              Coward.  Liar.              “Lady Astrolabe!” The night shift nurse, a pegasus stallion named Cool Relief, greeted her as she entered.  “Is this our new Knight?”              “Yes, Nurse Cool.  This is Lady Green Fields.”  The two ponies shook hooves.  “How are things in the hospital?  Anything I need to look into?”              “Everypony is stable at the moment,” he replied.  Astrolabe hadn’t expected much more; they didn’t usually deal with emergency cases at this hospital, but sometimes things happened.  “You can probably head to bed.”              “Thank you, Nurse.  This way, Green Fields.”              Past the check in station was a long hallway full of patient rooms.  Astrolabe had converted one of them into her own personal bedroom; she didn’t need much.              You could have had more than a converted hospital room, if you’d only fought for yourself.  Weak.  Useless.              “I-I didn’t ask Stiletto for your own room.  I didn’t know it was you, but I have plenty of space.  I assumed, because of our Oaths of Poverty, that you wouldn’t mind sharing a room.”              “Just like old times?” Green Fields smirked.  Astrolabe swallowed nervously, her mind flooding with memories that filled her with lust and regret.              You’re disgusting.  You know she wasn’t talking about those old times.              “Yeah,” Astrolabe laughed, silently praying that Green Fields didn’t realize how fake she probably sounded.  They reached her room, and she opened the door.  “I had a second bed moved in.  There’s a desk and a dresser for you as well.”              “It’s perfect.  I’m sharing a room with you, after all.” Green Fields blushed when she spoke, and Astrolabe looked away.              You’re pathetic.              “Well, come in,” Astrolabe said.  “We should probably sleep.” There was no way she was going to be able to sleep. “We can catch up more in the morning.”  She somehow managed to smile at Green Fields.  “You have no idea how happy I am that you’re here.”              “Me too,” Green Fields’ smile was radiant, and Astrolabe’s stomach started doing backflips.  She gently closed the door behind them and trotted over to her bed, setting her saddlebags down at the hoof.  Her smile faltered.  “Um, Asty?  I have to ask you something.”  She was whispering, and one hoof rubbed against the other nervously.  She turned to face Astrolabe.  “You didn’t forget, did you?”  Her voice was the merest breath, barely audible, and her question made Astrolabe’s heart do backflips.              “No,” Astrolabe whimpered desperately.  Of course she would never forget.  How could she forget the feel of Green Fields embrace?  The softness of her lips, the touch of her hooves, both passionate and gentle at the same time.  The smell of her mane, the feel of her velvet fur.  The quiet, needful little noises she made in her passion.  Those things were burned into Astrolabe’s memory, permanently etched in stark detail.  “I…”              “You don’t have to say anything, if you don’t want to!”  Green Fields cried.  Her eyes were wet.  “If you want, we can keep pretending we did forget.  I’ll never mention it again.  I promise.”              “But I thought…” Astrolabe began, confused and hurting.  She didn’t want to forget.  She didn’t want to pretend.  She’d never wanted that to begin with.  She looked for the words, and they didn’t come.              “I know what I said.” Green Fields slashed at the air with a hoof, dismissively.  “I was stupid.  Afraid.  I didn’t understand how I felt.  What I was.  I thought, maybe if I pretended, chasing after stallions like I was supposed to, maybe then I would change.”              “Green…”  Astrolabe had stepped forward, until she was nearly nose to nose with her oldest friend.              “I didn’t change, Asty.  I didn’t forget.  I didn’t want to forget.  I know it’s sinful, but I don’t care.  Our oath was that we wouldn’t take a mate, and two mares can’t reproduce, so maybe…” she seemed to realize what she was trying to justify, and trailed off.  Astrolabe could barely hear her words over her beating heart. “What I know, who I am, how I feel about you… how can that be bad?”  Green Fields shuddered, tears leaking from her eyes to flow down her cheeks.  “But I’ll pretend, if you want me to.  Just tell me what to do, Astrolabe.”              Hah.  She’s given you all the power.  Doesn’t she realize how stupid that is?  You could never make a decision.  You could never take the lead.  You could never…              Astrolabe lifted one hoof, resting it on Green Fields’ chest.  Green Fields let out a soft yelp of surprise as Astrolabe shoved her backwards onto her bed.  With slow, deliberate carefulness, she followed, climbing on top of Green Fields, with her hooves on either side of the other mare’s head.  Ruthlessly Astrolabe crushed the voice in her head, forcing silent every doubt, every insecurity, every fear, and every hint of guilt.              “A-Asty?” Green Fields stammered.              “Hush,” Astrolabe ordered, and pressed her lips against her lover’s.