//------------------------------//
// Woulda Coulda Shoulda 
// Story: Woulda Coulda Shoulda 
// by Lets Do This 
//------------------------------//

"Now that was what I call a Hearth's Warming feast," Gallus said, as the students returned to the Friendship School's lounge. "Even if it is the first I've ever been to." The blue-pinioned griffin flung himself down on a couch, burping contentedly. He grinned at the others. "I would never have guessed you could make fried flowers taste that good."

"It's all in the spices, really," Sandbar said. The lime-coated pony smiled as he pulled up a comfortable chair. "Though I'd say pretty much anything tastes better fried."

"I'll second that!" Smolder grinned toothily as she flapped overhead to drop onto the lounge opposite the couch. "I never realized you could fry gemstones. Though I guess I have Spike to thank. The apron with the heart on it is totally lame, but he's learned a thing or two from you ponies." The bright orange dragoness gnawed happily at the breaded ruby she'd brought along to snack on.

"Oooh! I just loved the fried fish!" squealed Silverstream, as she trotted over to hop onto the lounge beside Smolder. "And the baked fish... and the fish broth, and fish tarts... and the..."

"Why not just say you liked the fish," Gallus suggested dryly, "and save time?"

The pink hippogriff smiled sheepishly.

"Yona like pony food!" the yak declared, as she trotted over and thumped down on her rear next to Sandbar's chair. "Especially sharing pony food with friends. Yaks best at most things, but ponies best at holiday meals. It would be better with smashing logs, though. Everything better with things to smash!"

"Maybe we can bring in some logs, next year, along with the tree," Sandbar suggested. "Though we might have to take the logs down to the gym. I'm not sure Headmare Twilight would appreciate having a dining room full of kindling and splinters."

"Yona no mind." She swung her head, making her massive braids swing about hazardously. "Would be perfect as -- what ponies call it? Appetizer?"

"I hope we wouldn't have to eat what we smash," Ocellus said shyly. The pale cyan changeling flitted over to land on the couch next to Gallus. "I'm just glad Hearth's Warming is such a well-loved holiday among ponies. I've never tasted happiness like this before!"

Gallus looked around. "Should... we be worried she's feeding off our feelings?"

Smolder shrugged. "Eh. To each their own." She took a bite out of her gemstone.

"Oh! I don't mind!" Silverstream giggled, then clapped her foreclaws. "I'm so happy right now, I could just explode!"

"Yona okay, too." She smiled proudly at Ocellus. "Yak feelings are best feelings!"

"I don't have a problem either," Sandbar added. "But are you sure it's enough, Ocellus? I felt a little guilty, us chowing down while you just sat there, sipping a glass of water.

"Like Smolder says, to each their own." Ocellus shrugged. "For a changeling, a little love's as good as a feast."

"Oooh," Gallus sneered. "You better write that down. That sounds like one for the ages." Then he glanced around the room conspiratorially, and lowered his voice.

"So... do you think we fooled 'em?"

The others stared at him. "Uh, fooled who?" Smolder asked.

"Come on!" Gallus waved a claw. "Our professors. They think only I planned to sabotage us going home, over Hearth's Warming break."

There was silence. The rest of the group looked at each other.

"Uh..." Sandbar asked cautiously, "didn't you? I'm confused."

"Look," Gallus replied, "we know I didn't want to go home over break, because life back in Griffonstone is so sucky. Not looking for extra sympathy, just saying. But somehow, I get the feeling I wasn't the only one here..."

"Why griffon say that?" Yona demanded suspiciously.

"Well... take Silverstream for instance." Gallus looked at her. "You were pretty quick to volunteer to stay over the holidays. Especially since you were practically barfing up a wing a few minutes earlier about missing the whole Days of Freedom thing back home."

"Well..." Silverstream looked embarrassed. "I have been going back and forth about it, the past few days. Well... maybe more than a little..."

"Huh. Nothing new there," Smolder muttered. "All it takes is something sparkly and distracting to make you change your mind." She twiddled her gemstone in front of Silverstream's face, and the hippogriff immediately brightened up, staring at its sparkling facets in fascination. Smolder glanced around smugly at the others.

Then Silverstream deliberately pulled her attention away from the gem and back to Gallus. "I've been exchanging letters with Princess Skystar, back home," she said. "Like we do, so each of us knows what the other is up to. But lately, she's been so busy with diplomatic stuff, and with helping Queen Novo plan the Days festival, that she barely has any time for herself." Silverstream sighed. "I think she counts on me to do all the things she doesn't have time for, then write to her about them, so it's like she's able to do them herself. And she's been asking a lot about Hearth's Warming -- what the festival is like, how it's celebrated. Sooo..." She looked conflicted. "I kind of felt like I should stay here, just so I could tell her about it. But I didn't want to disappoint my parents back home. It's been... kind of distressing."

"I thought I was the only one," Ocellus said, surprised. "As much as I wanted to go home for our version of Hearth's Warming, I kind of always suspected we weren't doing it quite right. I figured if I could stay here, see how things are done by actual ponies, I could bring that back to the Hive and we could 'fine tune' our version. After all, creativity and expression is what brings the Hive together now. Instead of taking love from other cultures, we take ideas. We bring them back with us and make them part of our home, which makes it that much better." She grinned.

"I might retch," Smolder growled, "but that would just set fire to something, so I won't. But yeah, I wasn't all that keen about heading back home myself. I mean, what would I be going home to? Back home, I'm just a small dragon among bigger dragons." Her teeth grated. "Big, loudmouthed, lunkheaded, doofus, pain-in-the-butt dragons! I spend a lot of my time there keeping out of the way, avoiding being a target." Then she brightened up. "But here? Here, I don't have to worry about that crap. Here, I'm the big dragon in our group!"

"You're the only dragon in our group," Gallus retorted.

"Yeah?" Smolder stared blandly at him. "Your point being?"

"Yona want to be with non-Yak friends for holidays too!" She stamped a hoof. "Snilldar-Fest best Yak holiday! But Hearth's Warming best holiday to spend with non-Yaks! Only thing make it better is more Yaks! But not too many, since then it become Snilldar-Fest again! But Snilldar-Fest best Yak holiday to spend with non-Yaks, so either way, is best holiday!"

Ocellus shook her head. "Just when I think I get the calculus of Yak superlatives..." she muttered.

"And hey," Sandbar said, "you guys know me. I wanted to go home for the holidays, but that's been pretty much the same every year. And don't get me wrong, I love it! But this year? I get to hang with my new best buddies, from all across Equestria. Yeah!" He punched the air proudly with a hoof. "The Odd Squad!"

Smolder eyed him. "You still trying to call us that?"

Sandbar shrugged, unruffled. "Eh. It's my name for us for now. If we come up with a better one, I'll use it."

"Moving right along..." Gallus exchanged a smile with Smolder. "It sounds like you were all conflicted about going home for the holidays, too... though not nearly as much as I was. So, did anyone else actually come up with a plan for us to stick around for Hearth's Warming? Come on, this is just among the six of us." He put up a claw. "I promise I won't breathe a word to our professors."

"Well..." Sandbar looked uncomfortable.

Smolder stared at him. "You're joking, right? You're the one with the spotless conduct record."

"I didn't have much of a plan," Sandbar admitted. "I did think about maybe coming up with a way to delay us all a bit, like leading us down the wrong street on the way to the station, just enough so we'd miss the train. I mean, they'd only put you onto the next train heading out, but at least we'd be able to spend Hearth's Warming Eve together."

"That... sounds just like a pony plan," Smolder grunted. "Sappy, and weak on details."

"Like I said, it wasn't much of a plan." Sandbar shrugged. "I only thought about it, mostly."

"Yona came up with great plan!" She rapped a hoof and beamed. "Yaks best at plans! Yona would wait until we were all on train. No one suspect a thing. Then Yona sneak forward to engine... and smash it!" She pounded her forehooves on the floor, making the room shake. "Ha! Train go nowhere without engine! Is foolproof!"

"And not very subtle either," Gallus said. "I mean, who'd ever think to ask a Yak who smashed the engine?"

"Yak no say word!" She thrust her chin forward. "Yona take one for team!"

"Um..."

Everyone looked at Ocellus. She was smiling sheepishly.

"Really? You too?" Smolder rolled her eyes. "You're almost as much of a teacher's pet as Sandbar."

"Well..." Ocellus blinked, staring around at them. "I thought I might sneak out, transform into an Ursa Minor, and roam around the outside of the School, roaring a bit. After all, if the professors thought it was too dangerous for us to be out of doors, they might keep us all here until they'd determined things were safe."

"Can you actually do that?" Gallus regarded her with surprise. "Aren't Ursas like, the size of a house?"

"They have very low mass," Ocellus pointed out. "Most of their strength is in the surface tension of the magic field comprising their thaumic envelope."

"Just... assume we actually got that," Gallus said. "And go on."

"They're basically a big bubble of magic," Ocellus explained, unruffled. "It's why they're see-through. But they're still pretty dangerous when they're roused. Doing an illusion of one would be a lot of work, but not impossible."

Gallus nodded. "I'll keep that in mind. And it might actually have worked. Hmph. Might have worked too well, actually. What if the professors decided it was too dangerous for us to stay here, and closed the School?"

"I thought about that," Ocellus nodded. "I wasn't sure I could be scary enough, but not too scary..."

"Ooh! Oooh!" Silverstream piped up. "I had this really elaborate plan worked out! Involving spoons... lots and lots of spoons... and... and..."

"And?" Sandbar echoed encouragingly, grinning at her.

She shrugged sheepishly. "That's about as far as I'd gotten with it, when the professors came to find us while we were packing to leave."

"Oh, puh-lease!" Smolder crunched and swallowed the last of her gemstone. "I can't believe how lame all your plans were. Now, here's how a dragon would do it. I'd sneak up to Headmare Twilight's office, barricade myself inside, and threaten to toast marshmallows using the school's record files unless the professors gave in to our demands not to be sent home." She lofted her claws and spread her wings, glaring fiendishly. "And if they gave me any trouble, I'd threaten to set fire to the entire School! Burn it to the ground! No survivors! Ah-hah-hah-hah-hah!"

She paused, looking around at their astonished faces.

"What? Weren't you paying attention when I was telling you that Feast of Fire story? Dragons don't wait for an opportunity -- they take it!"

The others were all speechless. All except for Gallus, who raised an eyebrow.

"Would you really have done all that, Smolder?"

The dragoness furled her wings, and waved a claw dismissively.

"Nah. Just messin' with ya. Actually, what I came up with was a lot simpler. I'd sneak out to the train tracks, pack the track switches with snow, and use the old flame-breath to melt it into solid ice. In this weather? It would've taken them ages to chip things free without damaging them. And in the meantime, we'd all be here, safe and warm, spending Hearth's Warming together."

Gallus nodded appreciatively. "That... would have been so much better than my plan, dumping goo-powder in the tree's Fire of Friendship. No damage to anything, no one has to lie or confess. And no one to pin the blame on either, since it would look like the weather did it."

"Yeah!" Sandbar said. "And we wouldn't have had to clean up the room afterward. Win-win all round!"

The others nodded in agreement.

Smolder snorted, her arms crossed. "See what you miss out on, not sharing stuff with the group?"

"Sure do." Gallus grinned. "Okay, from now on, if we're planning some sneaky, subversive prank, we all compare notes. Agreed?"

"And... maybe talk ourselves out of it, if it's too risky?" Ocellus asked, nervously.

"That too." Gallus nodded. "That's why six heads are better than one."

Then he stared around at the others, amazed. "So, all of you were thinking about sabotaging things so we could spend Hearth's Warming together? And I just happened to get there first? Wow. So, when the professors started questioning us, why did you all get so angry? Start accusing each other of doing it?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Sandbar asked. "I'd only thought about doing it, myself. When I saw somecreature had actually done it, I felt really guilty for having considered it. And so I wanted to help find whoever did it."

The others nodded sadly. But Smolder shook her head.

"Seriously? You're telling me you weren't the least bit jealous that somecreature had beaten you to it? That's how I felt, anyways."

"Huh." Gallus grinned. "So, you were jealous of my prank? Even though your idea was way cooler?"

"Well, duh!" Smoulder tossed her claws in disgust. "You actually dared to pull it off. I didn't even get that far! That took scales! In a manner of speaking, of course."

"Nice to know I can impress a dragon," Gallus said. "Thanks."

"Don't get used to it, featherbrain," Smolder snarled. "Next time, I'll leave you in the dust!"

"Nope, you won't," Gallus replied.

"Come again?" Smoulder eyed him narrowly.

"Next time, we'll work together, and do it properly. Deal?"

She eyed him a moment longer, then grinned. "Deal."

"Wow!" Silverstream giggled. "Bonding over plans for sabotage? Is this some kind of weird Hearth's Warming tradition?"

"I think it's more of an 'us' tradition," Sandbar replied, shaking his head. "And I can only imagine what the professors would think if they overheard us..."

Further conversation was forestalled by a curt cough from the lounge doorway. The students turned to look... and froze.

It was the School's truant officer: Commander Tempest Shadow.

The tall, black-armored pony strode into the room, her armored hooves thumping solidly on the floor, even through the carpeting. She swung and faced the group, gazing down at them archly. She looked from one face to the next, her expression coldly stern.

And then she smirked.

"Sorry I was unavoidably detained, and missed dinner," she said. "Princess Twilight sent me on an important errand. But after being filled in on the events of the day, I thought you might all appreciate a little after-dinner snack."

She rapped a hooftip sharply, then waited as her hedgehog assistant Grubber trotted into the room, carrying a tray of cupcakes. He pushed the tray onto the coffee-table between the sofa and the lounge. 

"Just a little Hearth's Warming present from me," Tempest said, languidly. "Enjoy."

And then the Commander swept about and left the room without a backward glance, with Grubber trotting briskly along beside her.

The students stared at the tray of cupcakes as if it might explode.

"Maybe they're poisoned?" Silverstream said, wide-eyed.

Sandbar reached over and picked up the cupcake with his cutie-mark on its frosting. "Hey," he said. "Vanilla, with sugar icing! My fave!"

The others hesitantly picked up their own. And stared at each other.

"You think she overheard us?" Gallus asked, worriedly.

Smolder shrugged. "Would it matter if she did? She probably already knows what we were thinking. Nothing that happens at this School gets past her, whether she's here or not."

Yona pointed with a hoof. "What note say?"

Ocellus reached out and picked up the small folded paper note that had been standing in the center of the group of cupcakes. "Happy Hearth's Warming..." she read aloud -- and then looked up at them.

"... to my favorite class of students."

The group looked at each other. Then Gallus grinned. "Oh yeah," he said, nodding. "She knows, all right!"

The others grinned too.

Then Sandbar held up his cupcake. "To the Odd Squad!" he said.

The others shrugged. "To the Odd Squad," they chorused resignedly. Then they looked at Smolder.

"What?" she asked. "Okay, fine!" She held up her cupcake. "The Odd Squad. What the heck... it beats spending break at home, right?"

"It sure does," Gallus agreed. "For all of us."

The others laughed, and then they all settled in for a companionable Hearth's Warming Eve... together.


The End



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No infringement is intended. This story is a work of fan fiction, written by fans for fans of the series.