//------------------------------// // Getting Away // Story: Celestia's Rocket Adventures // by Snake Staff //------------------------------// Team Rocket ran. Ran like they had never ran in their lives. “Lysandre fired the last dregs of the weapon directly onto our location,” a gravelly voice hoarse from obvious disuse boomed out from every speaker still functioning in the half-wrecked base. “Run! Run for your lives!” The trio had already heard the looping broadcast echoing through the metal hallways over twenty times since exiting the central chamber. They saw the once-silent alarms, what few remained intact, blazing with flashing red light and wailing something that might have been an emergency evacuation signal in between the voice’s words. Jessie, James, Meowth, and a normal looking but thoroughly battered and exhausted Celestia tore through metal corridors at speeds much faster than ought to have been possible. All around them the once-fine underground base was a cataclysmic wreck, overhead lighting shattered and sparking, walls burnt and cut open, furniture toppled and set alight, doors bent and jammed halfway open, and debris of every kind everywhere. Chaos abounded. With virtually all leadership on both sides out of the picture, Pokémon and humans alike were running every which way, some in rabid triumph, most in blind panic. “FLEE!” Celestia boomed out in her best Royal Canterlot Voice to a pack of Electrike still busily dismembering an office space. “THIS PLACE IS COMING DOWN!” “We don’t take orders from-” “OBEY!” the alicorn screamed, then picked up speed to catch up to the other three, panting all the way. There were a few similar scenes as they climbed one story, a second, a third, a fourth, and then a fifth. Some of Luna’s wild Pokémon were crazy enough to think that the voice over the speakers was an enemy trick, even while Team Flare itself was mostly just running and screaming by this point. Fortunately, most weren’t quite that dense – a stampede of Pokémon could be found on every stairway, many dragging limp comrades along the way. Even factional differences dissolved to nothing during this moment of universal threat, the alicorn was perversely pleased to note. Men and women in red suits and white labcoats mingled freely with the churning wild multitudes, not a few of them hoisting other wounded or unconscious humans over their shoulders as they ran. It wasn’t until they hit the sixth floor up from the bottom that they ran into familiar faces. Literally. “Erk!” Celestia, ahead of the trio once more, rounded a corner and smacked right into something purple. Both alicorns tumbled together in a heap to the ground. “Team Rocket?” came a familiar boy’s voice as he managed to catch up. “Twerps,” the panting trio managed. “Princess Celestia!” the purple alicorn wrapped her forelegs around her mentor’s neck without bothering to untangle herself first. “…Twilight,” Celestia managed. “Where have you jerks been?!” Meowth yelled at them once he had managed to catch some of his breath. “We had ta slog our way through ‘dis practically by ourselves!” “We’d have fought our way back down here from those creepy monoliths sooner, if someone could keep up,” Serena snapped back, looking meaningfully over her shoulder. “I’m sorry… I spent my life… doing business… instead of jogging!” came the wheezing retort from a dark-suited, middle-aged man Celestia recognized immediately from the video calls. Giovanni was a considerable distance down the hallway, surrounded by a few men and women in black uniforms that to the best of her judgement appeared to be deliberately slowing their pace. “Boss!” the trio saluted instinctively. “Never mind… the formalities,” Giovanni panted, bent over almost double with hands on his knees. “Is the announcement… true?” He gasped a little. “Has the… madman… really set this place… to come down around us?” “We saw him do it ourselves!” James answered immediately. “Yeah, right after we trashed him like week-old leftovers!” Jessie added. “His slimy sea slug was no match for the scintillating sonorous strikes of my lovely Celestia here,” James said proudly, eliciting a groan from the alicorn in question. “Hey, don’t you dare leave Wobbuffet out of this!” Jessie growled. “If it weren’t for his bravery she never would have-” “Now is not the time to be arguing over credit!” Giovanni shouted exasperatedly at them. “As much as I hate to agree with him, that’s not wrong,” Pikachu nodded, before glancing over at Twilight. “There’s some ‘criminal geniuses’ for you…” The purple alicorn blushed slightly. “JUST GET OUT OF HERE!” Celestia screamed at everyone. It was close. A blinding lance of red and white energy, having completed its great arc to the very edge of the atmosphere, was visibly descending from on high like a falling star when Celestia burst through the front entrance, scattering clouds as it fell. By the time Giovanni, at the rear and being visibly assisted by a young blonde woman and a well-built man, made it out it was only a few thousand feet up. The last person the alicorn saw exit was the abnormally tall man in tattered clothes from the detention level, the same chubby man in red she’d hit with a door in the control room slung over his shoulder. He had only made it ten paces or so when the hammer fell. The effect was instantaneous. One moment the ultimate weapon was standing proudly in the afternoon sun, a magnificent flower of clear rainbow-tinted crystal around a fine sphere of crimson. The next, a blow from the heavens struck the ancient machine dead-center, shattering its heart in less than an eyeblink and powering right on through. The ground around them heaved violently, sprawling all present across the ground just as the earsplitting boom reached them. Those that managed to look up in the next few seconds bore witness to the last of the crystalline petals sliding with a grand finality into the great rift in the earth, out of which torrents of foul-smelling black smoke were already pouring. It took barely any more time for more of the stuff to begin wafting out of the hole through which Yveltal had been blasted. The earthquake had collapsed the boulders around the front entrance, but even that swiftly began to see wisps of the putrid concoction seep out. It said something about that moment that for several long minutes afterwards, no one said a thing. Human, Pokémon, or extradimensional alien, all were caught up in the spell of it, the strange death song of something magnificent and terrible speaking to each and every soul. Some looked around, at each other, or at their own feet, but most simply stared as the pure black smoke was mixed with rising fire. It was as if the weapon shared a hint of its wielder’s self-destructive madness, that it was determined to claim everything below ground in the blazing holocaust of its own grave. The Team Rocket trio sat together on the ground and watched in silence next to Celestia, catching their collective breath and wiping sweat away. For her part, the white alicorn’s heart swung between a tinge of sadness, a sense of bone-deep exhaustion, and sheer, unbridled relief. It was a good little while before Twilight came slowly up behind Celestia, hooves barely daring to touch the green grasses. “Is it…” the younger alicorn asked quietly. “Is it over?” Celestia looked around her. The clearing around the collapsed entrance to Team Flare’s former base was littered with hundreds of humans and Pokémon alike, scattered haphazardly with no regard for allegiance. Some were licking their own wounds, some were tending to others nearby, but most were just sitting or lying quietly amidst the soft grasses. The sheer numbers of the men and women in red worried her for a moment, until she looked into their eyes. They nakedly portrayed the dashed hopes, the broken promises, the overwhelming terror, and the simple relief at still being alive. These people were watching all they had been promised and all they had worked to achieve for years literally go up in smoke. There was no fight left in any of them. “It is,” Celestia gratefully closed her eyes, a sensation that had never felt quite as good. “It really is.” “And…” Twilight visibly struggled to get the words out. “Princess… Luna?” The solar alicorn allowed herself to give way fully to a reassuring smile. “Fear not,” she said, nodding over at Jessie, who looked a little puzzled. “My sister lives, even if we had to carry her out.” “Ah,” the younger princess let out a sigh of relief. “Well, well, well,” Giovanni’s interrupting voice was sharp, cutting through the crackle of flames and soft whistling of the wind. “You three actually did it. I must say that I’m pleasantly surprised. I thought I would have to clean up this mess myself.” Team Rocket’s leader was standing apart from the other humans and Pokémon, not far from where a short, black aircraft was touched down near the edge of the stripped trees. At his side was the blonde woman and his coterie of half a dozen other men and women in black Team Rocket uniforms, red R’s proudly emblazoned across their chests. Giovanni’s dark suit was somewhat ruffled, and he was straightening his tie, but that didn’t seem to detract from his sense of presence at all. Everyone around Celestia, Team Rocket included, drew back a bit as he spoke. The princess noticed that Twilight in particular flinched. “I mean it when I say that I’m very pleased with your defeat of the madman.” He smiled a tight smile. “But perhaps you could make me even more so.” He glanced over at the fiery pit pouring black smoke into the sky. “The ultimate weapon is lost to us all. Did you manage to retrieve anything that could be of use to us instead while you were down there?” “Um…” James looked down, then back up. “No, sir. No we didn’t.” Jessie and Meowth likewise shook their heads. “Ah well, one cannot have everything,” Giovanni also shook his head after a short pause. “At least not yet. Perhaps we didn’t get all that we were hoping for, but I can see how that might be for the best. Trying to claim ownership of the ultimate weapon now might have brought some unacceptable opportunity costs,” he mused. “Team Flare’s madness is extinguished. Our survival is assured, and that’s the most important thing. You achieved what I set you to do against all odds and against my expectations.” “Yeah, dat’s right,” Meowth nodded, a little stunned, as if that fact were just occurring to him. “We really did.” “Yeah…” James considered, flexing the fingers of one hand in front of his face. “It feels…” “Kinda weird…” Jessie finished for him. “But not bad.” “Naturally it does,” Giovanni replied. “Because I told you so. Now then, I hope it goes without saying that your victory below won’t go unrewarded.” He stepped forward and opened his hands. “I think that you’ve more than earned a big promotion, and a far more lucrative career pathway than merely chasing this boy around. Congratulations.” “You… you really mean it, sir?” James asked. “Of course I mean it. Now, do you need a moment to pack whatever things you have?” He paused. “We’ll be returning to Kanto without delay. I have no doubt that this region will be crawling with police officers within hours, and I have so much to tell and show you about your new roles in the organization.” The three looked at one another, holding silence for several seconds. Celestia stared up at them from where she sat, light purple eyes boring into theirs one after the other. Their backs seemed to stiffen. “We quit,” the trio said as one. Behind them, there came gasps from almost everyone present who knew them. “Are you guys serious?” asked Clemont. “No way,” Pikachu breathed. “Is that some kind of joke?” Serena wondered. “I didn’t think you had it in you,” Bonnie muttered. “Really?” Ash’s reaction was the softest. “What do you mean, you quit?” Giovanni frowned. “We…” Jessie hesitated. “We mean just what we said, sir. We quit.” “You three… resigning? You?” Team Rocket’s leader put a hand to his chin. “After all of these years? After so many of your failed and ridiculous schemes to get my attention? After all of your dogged – perhaps insane – persistence? I recall that some time ago during your travels through Johto you refused to be fired and kept acting as though you worked for me regardless. You’ve ate, slept, and breathed for who knows how long just to gain my approval, and now that you finally have it you want to leave?” He stared at them. “What has gotten into you? What happened down there?” “Sir, we…” James began, but trailed off uncertainly. “We just ain’t cut out for ‘dis,” Meowth declared suddenly. “If this is about having to deal with lunatics like Team Flare, then I can assure you that it won’t be as much of an issue going forward.” “It’s not just that,” James shook his head. “After all this, I don’t think we’re up for the criminal lifestyle.” “It just doesn’t seem to be our thing,” Jessie agreed. “Until quite recently I would have agreed with you,” Giovanni replied thoughtfully. “But now? After you’ve finally achieved something noteworthy for me?” He flashed a brief, sardonic grin. “Don’t tell me that this saving the world business has made you go soft.” “Well…” “I…” “Er…” “I see how it is,” the Rocket boss continued. “You achieved something that petty moralists would call ‘good’ and found it more to your liking than the prospects of continuing your lives as they were before. Am I close?” “You…” James glanced at his teammates. “You could say that.” “And that, after all these years of swearing up and down to me that you loved being bad,” the boss chuckled a little. “You’re letting something as insignificant as a conscience stop you from seeing the world as a vault to be plundered.” He put one hand on his hip. “How disappointing.” “I don’t think it’s insignificant,” Jessie murmured. “I think you’ll find that the rewards of being a good little Poke Scout are far outstripped by those of embracing my way of doing things. This newfound sense of morality will let you down, and leave you destitute and alone in the end, I promise you that.” Celestia’s eyes spotted the blonde-haired woman tapping a white-gloved hand on something concealed beneath her curling locks, right about where her ears ought to be. She didn’t say anything but looked away from the conversation for a few seconds before straightening up. Without even bothering to wait, she walked over to Giovanni with a noticeable bounce in her step, stood up on her tiptoes, cupped a hand over his left ear, and whispered something so softly even the princess’ keen senses couldn’t make it out. Giovanni’s hard face split immediately into a confident grin. The alicorn had the very unpleasant feeling that something bad had just happened. “I see,” Giovanni closed his eyes, though the grin did not disappear. “But very well then,” he opened his eyes and scrutinized Jessie, James, and Meowth. “If all that you want for a reward is an end to our association, then I’ll oblige you.” He regarded James specifically. “I’ll see to it that your Mime Jr. is returned to your care promptly.” “You’re fools to quit now, you know,” the blonde at Giovanni’s side said, hand on hip. “Even with the ultimate weapon gone, Team Rocket’s come out of today victorious, and our stock is only going up in the near future. If you miss out on what’s ahead, you’ll have only yourselves to blame.” “We don’t need advice from you, Domino,” Jessie answered firmly. The woman blinked. “How do you know my codename?” she narrowed her eyes. “I’m sure I’ve never met the three of you, much less let you in on it.” “Enough,” Giovanni interjected before that line of inquiry could go anywhere. “As I said, they’re free to go and under no further obligations to us.” His smirk from earlier still hadn’t wavered. “Go,” he said, “and see if you find what it is that you’re looking for. But when life lets you down once again, remember that you still have a place on my team.” He turned his back on them, beginning to walk up the aircraft’s ramp. “Remember this,” he said as he reached the top, “everything exists for the glory of Team Rocket.” The low sound of Giovanni’s chuckling was swiftly drowned out by the whine and roar of engines firing up around him. Domino and the handful of other still-loyal Rocket agents filed swiftly up the ramp after him, taking seated positions at the compartment’s sides or grabbing on to overhead holding straps. But Team Rocket’s leader simply stood at the rearmost edge, arms folded behind his back and a grin on his face. He stared out at those remaining behind until the ramp closed in front of him, gaze never faltering until they could see him no more. Then the engines of the short, black aircraft flared. Humans, alicorns, and Pokémon alike took several steps backwards as the craft rose smoothly upwards past the tree height. The machine’s engines rotated, and it all but shot off, angling upwards into the blue skies beyond. As she followed its progress Celestia’s keen gaze picked out the presence of at least two other black craft in the distance, also vanishing over the horizon. “So now I guess… we heal up, turn what’s left of Team Flare over to whatever authorities show up, and look for a way back home?” Twilight asked her mentor. “Indeed,” Celestia let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “I just hope Mi Amore and the others are doing alright. We have been gone for quite a while now.” “Why… am I… doing this… again?” a straining, sweating pink alicorn heaved as she and half a dozen unicorns worked together to lift the moon from its demesne. “Because you insisted on having it done your way,” came the reply from a certain draconequus, while all seven of them hoisted the reluctant celestial orb like it was a particularly murderous set of barbells heaped atop their collective backs. “Oh Discord, you can’t just turn the sun into a disco ball and get funky all over the place!” he said in a pitch-perfect copy of Cadance’s voice, albeit considerably whinier. “No Discord, you can’t make the moon square and use it for shadow puppet storytime!” he continued in a nasally replication of Shining Armor’s voice, before finally reverting to his own. “Honestly, you ponies are no fun at all. And after I so generously volunteered to help you out!” “Would you just…” Cadance forced the words through gritted teeth, “be quiet… for a minute?” “Say please and I’ll think about it.” “Pleeeeeaaaaase…” the pink alicorn groaned. “Oh fine,” Discord pulled a magazine out of his ear and started reading it sideways. “Come on… we’ve got this…” Cadance managed. “One more push… three… two… one… rrrrgh!” And with one more magical heft, the seven ponies finally managed to raise the moon to where it was supposed to be that night. Letting out deep breaths, as one all seven collapsed onto prepositioned cushions, panting as a readied unit of pegasi gave the signal to start up a cool night breeze. The princess was already helping herself to a goblet of her favorite chilled red wine, others were attacking mineral water, juice, or ale. The nightly workout did a number on everyone. “How does… Luna do it every day?” Shining Armor asked after a long swig of his water bottle. “Boot camp was less exhausting!” The only other guard veteran among the seven nodded his silent agreement. “If only the moon was as cooperative as the sun,” another of the unicorns muttered. “Be that as it may…” Cadance said, draining the last dregs of her wine far more quickly than she ought to have, “I’m sure Discord isn’t here to listen to us complain.” “I most certainly am not,” he huffed from behind his magazine. “Well?” the alicorn prodded him after a moment. “Well,” Discord looked up, “I checked Avana, Lower Heck, a Galaxy Far Far Away, Xytir, Schdorp, and Sleepy Hollow. And I still haven’t seen heads or tails of your aunties or little sis. Maybe it’s that seven years of bad luck coming back to bite them.” “And you still haven’t been able to-” Shining Armor began. “No,” Discord rolled his eyes. “For the thousandth time, I still haven’t been able to just snap them back. It’s the first thing I try. Every day.” He snapped his fingers, and nothing happened. “You make sure of that, don’t you? But like I said before either there’s some dimensional static or something running interference, because I can’t seem to get a lock on them.” “Riiight…” Cadance said, a little hesitantly. She coughed a little. “You can’t blame us for a being a little… cautious of you after what happened last time we met?” “Oh, that,” Discord waived a hand dismissively. “Can’t you just be grateful and let bygones be bygones? It’s not like I’d leave your family stranded in another dimension just to amuse myself with your reactions.” There was a moment of awkward staring. “Oh, alright, I’d at least bring Princess Twinkle Sprinkle back so Fluttershy could stop worrying so much about her.” Nopony said anything. “Well, fine!” Discord huffed, crossing his arms. “Be that way. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have another dimension to search! Hmph!” The draconequus walked a few steps over and snapped his fingers again. A rift opened before him as the barrier between dimensions was sundered. Through the swirling vortex could be seen a land of endless black under a swirling green sky, plus several colors none of the ponies had ever seen anywhere else. Something titanic suddenly appeared, blocking off the other side. An amorphous mass of shifting arms, tentacles, mouths, eyes, and appendages far stranger than these, it shrieked right through the open rift in the earsplitting voice of a million million madmen gibbering in tongues dead before time began. All the ponies present cried out and clutched desperately at their ears as a trillion dark thoughts dredged from the bowels of insanity itself rushed into their brains, bearing promises of an infinity of screeching praises to the unknowable and uncaring things that dwelt beyond the pitiful bounds of what mortals called reality. “Oh, hi Mom!” Discord waved cheerfully.