//------------------------------//
// Homegrown Chonclas 
// Story: The Marvelous Misadventures of Oddball Scruffington the third, twice removed 
// by Twisted Brew 
//------------------------------//

"-goes into the hip joint...Fourteen, six, carry the sleven. Sleven times two is twenty-two. Fourty-two! Transfer the Taurus sign of improbability to the great wall of vroom vroom..."

On any average day, the general populace of Ponyville would ignore the small creature and his strange ramblings. However, this time around, his words carry meaning. Not that they can decipher the tirade of madness pouring out of his mouth. Many ponies only gawk at the tiny human and the contraption he is assembling in his front yard for a few moments before walking away. A select few have chosen to stick around and observe. Not that Oddball has taken notice of them. His mind is clearly elsewhere as he works. On a certain level, even he is unsure of what he is doing. But the void calls to him from the great beyond and demands that he complete his work. At least, that would be the case, if his ramblings were to be believed. He intends to finish it regardless as he pulls two pieces of wood together, tying them into place with a rope he got from places. Places he cannot specify, for the nagging of his mother will come as a result if the location is revealed. Needless to say though, the apples are going to have a hard time tying up their slaves in the barn for the next few hours. They would also have a hard time getting them back, seeing how Oddball took it upon himself to liberate them. Though the work was tiring, Oddball is nothing if not determined; If also restless.

Going over the layout of this contraption he's spent the last few hours building, Oddball sees only failure. The unstable biped's usual trembling turns into a series of unreadable twitching. He clenches his eyes shut and places his hands to either side of his head. The image is so clear in his mind. He can see it, he knows what he is missing. His eyes snap open and his head shoots to the side. The small number of ponies gathered around him jump in surprise as he faces them, leveling one of his wigglies at one particular stallion in the group. "Mud pony!" He calls out, the racial slur earning him a rather unpleasant look from the inferior lifeforms. "I need seventeen buckets of slugs, a bathtub and a banana! Go!"

Decree number one delivered, he directs his attention to a pegasus mare, beside the stallion, with his wiggly following suit. "Horsefly! I need a tuft of cloud, a bottle of rain water and a sperm sample from the mud pony!" Their looks of anger turn ones of confusion and disgust, minus the horsefly who is only confused and blushing up a storm. "Get to it! There are cups in my kitchen. Do NOT touch the ones with the slime! Those are mine!"

Oddball goes about his business, assuming the peasants will do as they're told. They have to. Those orders could not be more explicit if he drew them out on a chalkboard. His eyes scan the structure he's constructing with harsh criticism. "No, no, no!" He yells out at no one, jumping onto a a warped piece of particle board. Somehow, he is able to climb up the steep incline of the board. The symbols are all there, everything is shaped out almost perfectly. But something is missing, he can feel it. Letting out a grunt, he directs his attention outward. The small group of ponies are still standing there. This didn't bother him, at least not until he noticed the two ponies he was speaking to earlier still standing there. The human lets out a low growl, pulling a potato out of his back pocket and throwing it at them. "Stop being stupid and go get my stuff!"

Before an all-out screaming match can begin, the door to the house behind Oddball's contraption opens. A familiar red coated mare quickly exits the house and faces the door, closing it softly as if to not alert someone of her departure. Once the door is secure, Ruby lets out a breath and turns around to see something she can't quite understand. A large, crudely built, wooden half circle on a makeshift podium seems to have been constructed not even two feet from her doorstep. At first she is confused, then she notices the creature several feet in the air latched on to the side of it.

Ruby's body nearly collapses, but she holds herself up with her front hooves. Now in a weak, sitting position, the mare locks eyes with the crazed human on top of...whatever it is he is building. "I thought you were in bed..."

Oddball is quick to respond, pointing at her accusingly while his other hand remains attached to his project to keep him from falling. "You have been deceived, False God!"

"Oddball, please get down from there." Ruby begs in a defeated tone. As much as she does love her son, he is slowly sapping her very will to live at this point. "This is the first time in weeks I've gotten up this early and I can't afford to be late to work again."

"They have ensnared you, hoofed one!" Oddball announces to the world, his focus being entirely on the mare at the doorstep. "You have been caught in their tendrils of lies! Being forced to bend at the knee at the call of your fake reality!"

"Not this again..." Ruby mutters, trying to think of a way to put the oncoming rant to an end before it can start. However, the only way to divert an agent of chaos is- unfortunately- with more chaos. At this point, anything else would be better than whatever it is he is trying to accomplish now. Recalling his actions from yesterday, she would rather him chase after mythical creatures rather than continue building this thing outside in front of everypony. "Aren't you supposed to be undertaking an invasion today?"

Oddball's eyes widen in horror at the reminder. He had almost forgotten about his plans. Without hesitation, Oddball leaps down from his construction project. His landing is anything but graceful, but he's quick to get back to his feet and begin running toward town. Judging from the direction he's going, Ruby can assume he's going to be dragging Nylon with him. This is something of a relief to the mare. Nylon is a good pony and very smart for his age. At the very least, he will be able to keep Oddball from burning down another house.

Glancing down, the mare looks at her watch before quickly getting back onto her hooves, "I've still got plenty of time." She says with confidence, "I'm not going to be late today!" She gives one last look to the wooden abomination in her front lawn, letting out a groan as she settles on dismantling it later before breaking out into a full sprint in the opposite direction that Oddball had gone.

The surrounding ponies were still in shock from the events that unfolded. Many only stared at Oddball's most recent act of insanity for a few more seconds before going on with their lives. Only two remain while everypony else has gone off to continue their lives as normal. One particular pegasus mare leans in toward one particular earth pony stallion, "So uh..." she pauses to clear her throat, "about that sperm sample-"



"It really is the darndest thing." The mare continues to her bubbly, pink friend as she rests her flank in one of the booths. Her morning had started off as routine as ever, same old thing on a different day. Everything was fine at first, then she found all kinds of peculiar things. Most of the carnage was pretty minor and didn't set her back but a few minutes. However, upon going into her barn, her day became much more hectic than it needed to. "It was hard enough just gettin all the animals back in their pens, but ah had to drop like forty bits on new locks cause somethin' up and chewed them all to bits!"

Refreshing the empty mug in front of her friend with fresh, black coffee, Pinkie offers a thinking hum as she tries to process everything that's been said to her up until this point. "That is weird." Less than a second of silence passes before she gasps and resumes her usual bouncing as a tirade of words begin to spill out of her like water through a cracked dam. "Do you think it was some kind of monster? Like a manticore, or a diamond dog, the Chupacabra? Oh! I know! A giant lizard infected with radioactive DNA that'll turn into a sixty foot tall, scaly killing machine and be crowned the king of monsters!"

Applejack finds herself sitting in silence, blinking a few times as her brain struggles to wrap itself around whatever nonsense had just spewed out of Pinkie's muzzle. Even after all of this time of knowing her, the bubbly pink mare still finds ways to make the farm pony's brain backflip out of surprise. What's worse is that he doubts Pinkie does it on purpose. It's just the way she is. "Uh...No, ah don't think it's any...giant lizard monster..."

Unsure of how to continue this quickly turning conversation, the orange mare focuses her attention onto her cup and lifts it to her lips. Her mind wanders a bit as she takes a sip before placing it back onto the table. For some reason, she figured Pinkie's strangeness would eventually settle down as they got older, even more so when she had her foal, Lil' Cheese. However, she hasn't slowed down in the slightest and, if anything, the fact that she has a child has only renewed her lively behavior. It's not a bad thing that she is the way she is, it just surprises her that the party pony of Ponyville is still going as strong as ever. No pony could ever hope to match her. But, the term 'no pony' is only limited to ponies, as she is reminded by the sudden swing and crash of the front door.

"Pink one!" A familiar, child-like voice calls out from the front of the shop, earning the attention of all who reside within the confines of the establishment. The short biped is seen standing there, his body twitching madly as he stares at Pinkie, his right arm propping the door open. His crazed gaze lingers on the pony for a second before he speaks once more. "Choncla!"

While the rest of the patrons are quite clearly confused by the creature's words, or word rather, Pinkie seems to understand. Now wearing a look of cheerful determination, Pinkie D. Pie springs into action. "Right away, sir!" In the blink of an eye, she's gone. The only indication that she was even there to begin with being the pink blur that followed her form as she zipped out of the room. Not seconds later, the mare returns to her previous position, holding a potato in her hoof. She tosses it over to Oddball, who catches the vegetable in his free hand despite his eyes still being locked onto Pinkie, who offers him a salute. "Good luck on your mission today, Sir; Oddball, sir!"

"REEEEEEEE!!!" Oddball exclaims as he takes off like a bat out of hell away from the bakery, potato in hand as he breaks into a full sprint to go Celetia only knows where to do Luna knows what. Meanwhile, Pinkie is now at ease, hopping around happily and checking on her customers. It's just another day in Ponyville. Strange to some, typical to others, Hell to the outsiders and those that look a little too close at the residents. "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!"



With a deep breath, Nylon takes in the smells of the area. The grass is freshly cut, fresh wood chips have been laid down  and even hints of sugary treats from Sugar Cube Corner can be detected if one is careful enough to detect it. Letting out his breath, the colt looks up at the sky as his form gently rocks back and forth on the swing he is sitting on. By some miracle, he has managed to avoid Oddball, leaving him free to do as he pleases. That being to simply enjoy the peace and quiet as he sits in the empty playground beside the school, watching the sun as it reaches its zenith at the top of the sky. The only thing that could make this better is if he had a good book to keep him company. Alas, he is lacking in that department. However, this is good enough for him. No craziness, no Oddball, no missions, no Oddball, no dumpster spaghetti Tuesdays, no Oddball. 

The colt smiles to himself as he soaks it all in. Freedom doesn't always have to be going out on adventures and jumping from one psychotic idea to the next. Freedom is simply doing what you want. And this moment, right here, this is freedom. Nothing to hear but the call of the wind as it brushes across his fur, gently caressing him with its tender, incorporeal touch. The simplest things are taken for granted, but Nylon does not dare let it go unappreciated as he basks in the simple pleasures of life; from the cool wind to the warm sun kissing his muzzle ever so gently. Finally, things don't seem so complicated. If only he could find such peace around other ponies.

That particular thought pulls his mind out of its blissful state and becomes reacquainted with the real world. Hushed tones can be heard not too far from him. Nylon knows who they are and he has an idea of what they're saying. More than anything, he knows for a fact that they're talking about him. This is both from past experiences and roughly hearing his name come from the mouth of a colt. Letting out a distressed sigh, his mind begins to wander once more and he almost feels guilty. Ponies in school picked on him for being a blank flank, at first that is, then they would tease him for hanging around Oddball so much. Their words of ridicule, while hushed now, were much more vocal in the past. That didn't last long though.

Oddball is many things; crazed, a fanatic, an alien- or so Nylon has theorized-, but he is no pushover. He reacted very little when they would try to tease him. In fact, the reason they stopped teasing Oddball was because of how strangely he acted in return. One of the most notable times was when they were making fun of him for having no fur. Oddball said nothing as he sat in his chair, his eyes glued to theirs as he slowly ate a pencil while picking his nose before very calmly asking out loud if their bones would crunch similarly to wood. The worst part of that entire experience was how genuine the question sounded coming from his mouth.

Having given up on teasing the human, they moved on to Nylon. It took a few days, but Oddball caught them teasing him. The colt didn't know how to respond, having very little interaction with other ponies in general. Being scared and confused, the pony dropped down and cried. His tears only fueled his fellow students. However, as the first few sobs left his muzzle, Oddball sprang into action. And by action, the small human proceeded to tackle their ringleader and force-feed him a wad of living slugs that he had gotten from...somewhere.

That act of heroism was more than enough to keep ponies from getting too close to Nylon, which was both a blessing and a curse. On one hoof, he never had to worry about getting picked on- at least, not to his face. On the other hoof though, he had no other friends. At least he can enjoy the peace and quiet he often desires whenever Oddball isn't dragging him into more nonsense.

Oddball...

Such a strange creature. Yet, Nylon almost feels guilty for avoiding him. While he is notably the weirdest individual in Ponyville, right next to Pinkie Pie, he's been good to him. With Oddball around, Nylon often felt an inexplicable feeling of security. It's not unlike the human to get violent every now and again, but he knows that Oddball would never truly do anything to hurt him. If anything, Oddball hurt-

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Nylon's ear flicks at the building war cry in the distance. A war cry that sounds all too familiar. A war cry that is getting uncomfortably close to where he is, gradually growing in volume. Soon after, the sound of several hooves running in the exact opposite direction of the sound. Daring to take a glance back, Nylon cranes his neck to the side. The ponies that were once standing a good distance from him are nowhere to be seen, the bushes behind where they were appearing to have been disturbed with several leaves falling from them.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

Letting out a defeated sigh, Nylon hops off of the swing and stares down at the pathway leading to the schoolhouse. It doesn't take long for him to spot the flailing Oddball running straight for him. Sometimes the colt can't help but wonder if the human has some sort of psychic ability that tells him exactly where he is at any given time. Oddball's disturbing ability to find him at a moment's notice, as if already knowing where he is, is both disturbing and fascinating.

By the time that Oddball has reached the halfway point up the small hill, his seemingly endless amount of energy begins to fail on him. The war cry is now a series of heavy pants and uneven breathing and, before long, he is down on the ground. Exhausted from the run and clearly being out of breath does little to deter the human from his goal. While he is moving much slower, he is still moving. His bipedal form is flailing all about, his body wiggling around wildly as he continues his ascent in spite of laying flat on the earth. "Eyabah! Hubrahbrabra! Rabralah! HABIBLARUHBARAA!"

Nylon raises a brow at the sight. Oddball is...well odd. But this is new. The colt has never seen him so out of breath and helpless. It's actually a little upsetting to witness. For years it seemed like the human was anything but mortal, so this experience is definitely a new one. Feeling a touch of concern for his downed friend, his only friend, Nylon trots over to Oddball and stops by his side. With himself being within a certain proximity to his furless friend, said friend's flailing lessens significantly. However, he seems to be having a hard time forming actual words.

"RublAH! Hubrabbra! RUAAHHHH!"

Nylon eyes go wide as he lifts his front hoof and takes a step back, the sudden raise in volume catching him a little off guard. "Um...Oddball?"

"RAHHHLAH!"

"Uh...Are you gonna be alright?"

"HAUH! HALAH! HABRABRA!"

Setting his hoof back to the ground, Nylon tries to take command. "Okay, I think you need to stop spazzing out for just a minute and breathe. You know, that thing where you take air into your lungs and...live."

"LOLLAEH!" Is what comes out of Oddball's mouth, his body flailing about once more. Oddly enough, the gibberish there makes enough sense for Nylon to understand that he is trying to say something out of spite. Likely defying his request for him to slow down and catch his breath.

"Oddball, please!" Nylon calls out desperately, being genuinely worried about his friend. "You're hard to understand when you're speaking actual words! Whatever this is that you're doing, it's less than Equestrian! And for some for some reason, that's even more concerning than some of the stuff you say on a regular basis! What's worse, I think I'm starting to understand it!"

"RAH! RABralala! Hauhhh!" Is Oddball's response, his tone lowering as he actually settles enough to take in air. His breathing is quick, but deep and lacking any particular rhythm- something that Nylon takes note of and makes a mental note of informing the human's mother of later.

Feeling a wave of relief washing over him as Oddball actually begins to breathe without making a fuss about it, Nylon reaches a hoof out and pats the human on the head. He's not entirely sure why he is doing this, but it just feels natural to do so. "There, there, buddy. Just relax and take a few deep breaths. You'll be back to your old self in no time."

"Merrrrrrrr..."

"...Yeah, I'm sure you'll be fine..."