The great beast turned its head towards me, and even with the guards, Starlight, and Wild all there to stop it, I still wanted to turn and run. This was no creature of God, but some demon from Hell.
Bursa tried to take a step towards me and then collapsed down to the ground in a heap. I heard the monster cry out in pain.
What? Had someone shot it?
Wild didn't move, but her posture relaxed. "Bursa, are you hurt?"
The thing sobbed. "Always hurt. I want to go back in the water. Pony cruel to make me walk."
"I'm sorry, " Wild said mournfully. "Sunset needed to see."
Confusion overrode fear as I looked at Wild. "What happened? Did one of your guards shoot it?"
"Her, not it," Wild corrected in a growl. "No, they didn't. She can't walk well at all. Her body and skeleton aren't made to move around. She has learned how to swim, and that takes some of the strain off her. If you look closely at her, you'll see she has tumorous lumps all over her. I'm going to get doctors to try to do what they can to treat them, and I hope that will further reduce the pain she continually endures. First, I have to convince her to let anyone get close enough to treat her without her trying to dismember them."
I looked at Bursa again, more closely than I had before. Now that the initial shock of seeing her had worn off, I could see the lumps that Wild was talking about. The fur on her upper body hid many of them, but they were legion. There was even one that was visible outside the coat that looked like some massive pimple, and it seemed the fall had caused it to leak pus and blood into the grass. Those legs I could now see were not of even length, and her reptilian feet didn't all face the way they should. Her arms were indeed muscular, but I now saw that many gnarls in them were not muscles. Bursa's body convulsed as she sobbed where she lay.
My breath caught. "This is horrible."
Wild nodded. "You see a monster, but I see a victim. Her resonance is broken and unstable. I would say it's a miracle that she's still alive after all this time, but saying miracle might indicate there's something good about this. She's dying; her body is falling apart at the molecular level."
I continued to stare in horror, but not the same kind of horror I had earlier. "You described her as dangerous. You act like she is dangerous."
Wild nodded. "Don't underestimate her. She is still powerful and angry. If she can grab you, it would probably be all over for you. She's still capable of doing a surprise lurch at someone, even if it causes her agonizing pain to do it. She'd have been a significant threat to any creature when she was first shaped, before the deterioration started."
I continued to stare. "How long does she have?"
Wild shook her head. "I don't know. A few years at most, but it could only be months. The normal Equestrian mages say there is no hope. Twilight Sparkle is going to see what she can do for her, if there is anything to do for her. That's where you come in."
I whipped my gaze back towards Wild. "Me? What do you mean where I come in?"
She looked back at me. "Twilight Sparkle is the greatest mage there is. However, you know almost as much or just as much about transformation magic as she does. You also have a talent for seeing possibilities in things where others don't. You might not be working directly on Bursa, but Twilight is going to be sharing her notes and ideas with you to see if you can see something she doesn't."
I shook my head in denial. "I- I can't; I swore off doing anything else with transformation magic. I've hurt too many people. I almost killed my grandfoals. I almost caused a greater disaster than the one that happened. I got my wife killed."
The earth pony turned and fixed her rock-hard gaze on me. "You're right, about the things you're guilty of, and you can add what has happened to Bursa to the list of your crimes. However, you don't bear the sole responsibility in any of that. I helped enable you, and others more twisted than you abused our work. Bursa is still suffering, and by God, the two of us are going to do what we can to fix our mistakes. I'm going to give her shelter, safety, medical care, and I hope justice. You're going to put your talents towards something good, with no ulterior motive for once than to help one person who is suffering."
I stepped back. I wanted to run again, but not from a monster I could get away from. I had considered getting back into magic, but this-
"Everyone tells me I need to give you a chance to prove you can be a better person," Wild said in a dead tone. "I wanted you to rot in a cell for the rest of your life. I still have a big part of me that wishes you were still behind bars. Instead, here I am, trying to give you your chance against my better judgment. In the end, it isn't just me that you need to prove yourself too."
That gave me pause. "I don't know."
She snorted. "Tell her you will help do everything you will to make this right. I won't blame you if you and Twilight fail. I will blame you if you don't even try. Step-up or step-out, Sunset, if you don't agree to try, then I'm done with you."
Having a figurative gun put to my head didn't seem like the best way to get a heartfelt attempt from me. Still, she was right. I needed to fix my mistakes. If there was anything I could do that could make this better, then I should be doing it. It would be Twilight Sparkle directing things, not me, so I didn't need to fear my bad judgment.
I turned back to Bursa and forced myself to take a step forward. "I'm so sorry that this happened to you. I gave Rossman the knowledge to do this, and he twisted it into this. I knew there might be some questionable things about him, but I thought I needed his mind. I saw a means to an end, and that allowed this to happen. I'll assist in any way I can to help make you well. I swear this to God and you."
"Rossman-" Bursa hissed with hate. "- I remember. I remember Rossman. He- he did things…"
Wild stepped forward. "And I'm going to bring Director Rossman to justice. I'm going to find whatever hole he's hiding in and see that he never hurts anyone like this again. I promise you that. Even if we can't fix you, we can make sure that happens."
Bursa gave Wild a stern glare. "Why should I trust ponies?"
Wild again didn't flinch away. "I got you out of that cave and back into the sunlight; I'm going to get you medical help, so you don't hurt so much, and I'm going to bring you somewhere you can be safe and comfortable. You trusted me enough to bring you this far. Have I done anything to betray that trust?"
Bursa turned her head and looked at the armed guards. "You have them to hurt me."
"I have them to discourage you from hurting anyone," Wild corrected. "If you hurt someone, you'd be treated like a monster. There would be calls to put you down."
Bursa turned back towards Wild. "Maybe I want to die and stop hurting."
"You'd not live to see justice done then, and you'd sacrifice your chance to be fixed, " Wild replied. "You'd also die a monster in people's eyes. You've had enough taken from you as it is, but you are the one who controls whether you are a monster or a person. Don't give what you have left away."
Bursa glared silently for a few seconds before she gave a long blink. "I will trust you for now."
Wild let out a long breath in relief. "I'm happy to hear that. I'm also sorry that we must get moving, and that means you need to get back on the truck. You aren't safe here, and you deserve far more space than some community pool. Do you need my help getting back into the truck, or do you want to do it yourself?"
Bursa hissed. "Myself! Don't want a pony near me!" She then began to pull herself along the grass with her arms towards the semi.
Wild watched Bursa's progress for a moment before turning back towards me. "Thank you for agreeing to try."
"You're right; I need to do this for myself. I need to prove to myself I'm capable of being a better person," I replied, then sighed. "Although, that feels selfish. How do you do it?"
The earth pony blinked. "Do what?"
"Be so damn selfless and righteous all the time," I answered. "Even when I'm trying to do something for someone else, I'm still stuck thinking of myself."
Wild didn't answer right away. Instead, she walked over to a saddle bag that I hadn't previously noticed. She must have removed it and set it there at some point earlier when she was concerned she might need to jump in front of Bursa. She opened it up and fished out an old smoking pipe and carefully lit it, before turning back to me.
"I don't have an answer for you, Sunset. I am who I am, and I can't imagine thinking any other way," she answered. The earth pony took a draw from the pipe then continued. "It's good that you ask the question. It means that you don't want to be selfish. I think that has to be an excellent place to start."
I scrunched up my nose at the smell of tobacco. "I thought you quit that."
She shrugged. "I keep it out of the public eye, but I take what little stress reliefs and distractions from the pain I can. It's not like it's even hurting me. I heal whatever it does to my lungs as fast as it damages them. My magic hurts."
I tilted back an ear in confusion. "What do you mean your magic hurts? You're burnt out."
She closed her eyes. "It's all still there," she said in a pained voice. "I can't channel it into the earth anymore, and it has nowhere to go. It's like a storm inside me that never stops. It heals me, makes me strong, and it does those things to even greater extents than it did before because that's all it can do. Do you remember how it ruptured my body before? It is still doing that, only now it heals itself as fast as it can destroy, and it hurts like hell. I take pain medication and have mages who try to dull things, and this tobacco is spiked with more painkillers. It isn't so bad right now, and there are plenty of times the pain retreats to a dull ache, but there are other times I need to retreat to my room and tremble."
"Have you talked to Twilight Sparkle about it?" I asked.
She nodded. "She says she's never seen anything like it. Then again, there's never been a pony as powerful as I who burnt themselves out. It's like all that channeling I did that day never stopped, but it can't go anywhere but me anymore. No one I have gone to for answers has come up with anything to fix it."
This was another thing that was my fault. If I hadn't been so negligent and determined to push ahead with my great legacy, she'd never have had to be in the position she needed to save Riverview. She had so many reasons to hate me.
I made a silent decision. If I did see things that others might dismiss, I needed to use that to help her. I'd ask Twilight Sparkle for the notes she had about Wild's condition. Maybe I'd find something that others had missed. Perhaps I could undo another crime I'd done to someone. I wouldn't tell Wild about it. I didn't want to get her hoping for something I might not be able to do. I also didn't want her to have any reason to forgive me if I did figure something out. I deserved her ire.
Bursa was still trying to make her way up the ramp onto the truck and was struggling with it. I watched her struggles and let the shame flow. I had a lot to make up for.
"I need to attend to the foals," I said at last. "I trust you don't need anything else from me."
She shook her head. "I'll be on my way as soon as Bursa manages to get up that ramp. If she takes much longer, I'm going to insist on helping her. She can claw and try to crush me all she wants, but I'm not going to leave her futilely struggling. I'll let her try to do it on her own for a few more minutes, but she needs to get used to accepting help, even if she doesn't like it."
I nodded and turned to walk back into the house. Starlight had left the front door at some point in the past few minutes, and I could hear her trying to coax Trixie out of the closet. I'd completely forgotten that Trixie was even in the house.
"Oh, I'm not sure if I need to say this or not, but please keep your foals out of the pool and the area Bursa was in for the remainder of the day," Wild instructed from behind me. "I'll be paying for cleaning crews to come to clean up, and paying them to arrive by tonight, but she's been bleeding and leaking pus into the pool and grass. I don't think you want them getting into that."
That was disgusting and unsanitary. I didn't verbally reply, only gave a nod, before walking back into the house. I had foals to take care of and friends to thank. I had no intention of neglecting all of them just because I had other things I'd soon be dealing with alongside them. Work kept the fretful mind at ease, and God, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, had given me many opportunities to work.