//------------------------------// // Subject 24: Extravagant Preparations // Story: Interviews With Equestrians // by Jmaster49 //------------------------------// At last, I was home in Ponyville. My objective was simple: Head to that event and inquire to Twilight Sparkle. The Grand Galloping Gala had undergone numerous changes since my youth. No longer was it required of you to have an invitation to attend. The entire public was welcome. It was also shifted away from a more strict and formal style to a casual affair. Quite interesting. Twilight herself was sure to be in attendance, given that it took place in her own castle. “Finally, a plan that doesn’t sound like complete ass,” Quick Draw cracked at my expense, much to my annoyance. I took a seat at my desk, and Corkscrew flew over. “Hey, it sounds like a fun time. We might even be able to get our groove on for a change. Just need a plus-one. How about it, Quickie?” The ever-vexed mare rolled her eyes. I could tell she was actually interested, as much as she tried to hide it. “Sure, why not? At least I’ll look good next to someone like you. And what about you, boss? You considered bringing a plus-one?” “What?” I paused at the thought. Unfortunately, I wished Neon could be in attendance due to how skillful he was in the art of detection. Especially at night when this event would take place. Alas, I didn’t want him to face his traumas if he wasn’t ready. No matter. The mission would go just as planned. Although, it would indeed be a shame if I went alone. But who would be up for such a potentially dangerous reason to attend? To not only visit the princess, but to also crack a massive case open regarding a hidden race of bats? It was crazy talk to the average individual. I hadn’t considered the concept of bringing somepony with me. Was it really that big of a deal? Quick Draw continued her barrage of jests. “Heh. If you ain’t got a plus-one, you’re gonna look weird as heck.” I raised a brow, “And just why is that?” “Duh. If you’re there on your own, your enemy is gonna suspect that you’re there to investigate. But if you were there with somepony...well, you’d just be attending the party like anyone else and they would still carry out whatever they had planned.” I gave it some thought, and rubbed my hoof across my chin. Quick Draw made good points. I would stick out like a sore tail if I were in attendance on my lonesome. Especially to a grandiose event such as this. However, if I were there with somepony, it would make my presence far less damning for those who wish to cause trouble. They would never suspect a thing. “Huh...you may have a point, Quick.” “Yeah I--wow, you actually agreed,” she replied with a hint of shock which turned into a smug sort of tease. “But I betcha can’t get anyone to go with you.” I was not so easily challenged to back away. “Oh really? I bet I can!” “HA! Sure.” Now just who would I bring with me? Quick and Cork were already going together. Guttersnipe was...no. She was too crazy. Gah, looks like I would have to make use of other sources. “Where ya goin’, boss?” Cork asked me as I got up to leave. “Well, I need a plus-one to blend in, yeah? Well, I’m going to see who’d be willing to join me.” Quick laughed from her seat, “HA! Good luck, Captain Vestige. You could never score a date back at the Officer’s Academy.” “This isn’t an intent to look for a date. I simply want to see who would be willing to...join in the art of paired dance.” “Uh-huh…” she shot me an unconvinced smirk, to which I simply rolled my eyes at. I left through the door. “I won’t be long.” “I give him five minutes.” Cork would chastise the mare as I left. “Don’t say that about the Captain! He can handle anyone!” Alright, so who would be willing to attend the Gala? And for such a ridiculous reason too? Well, first off the top of my head was Cheerilee. Was it possible that she would agree with my reasons to attend? Beyond that, I hoped she would enjoy the idea of having a dance again just like in her youth. So I walked up to her door, and knocked. “Cheerilee? It’s me, Pale.” “Oh? Do come in!” she called out from within, so I obliged and entered. Her happy visage greeted me as soon as I stepped hoof inside. “How are you today? Is everything alright? I heard you were stuck in the Empire for a while.” I closed the door behind myself, and trotted in further. “Oh no, don’t worry. That was simply formal business. Nothing unusual to be stationed near the scene of an incident, you know?” “Oh, that makes sense,” she nodded, and pointed to her dining room, “I have tea and cookies freshly made...if you’d like to join me.” “I’d love to.” We sat down and had our usual sort of chats as always. So nice to be able to speak to someone so casually. A few minutes had passed before I decided to ask my question. “...so hopefully Limestone Pie will make a good secondary teacher for Earth Pony lessons. Their bodies are super durable from farming rocks.” “Indeed. I couldn’t imagine anypony better to teach about hoof and head durability,” I said with a grin. “So, if you don’t mind. I actually wanted to ask if you wouldn’t mind being my plus-one for the Gala tomorrow.” Her eyes shot open wide, and she would’ve spit out her tea if it wasn’t so warm. “Oh? That Gala? I’m so sorry, Mr. Vestige. But I already have plans to go with somepony else. But if I didn’t, I certainly would’ve accepted.” A shame, but what can you do? Though, I was curious as to who she intended on taking with her, I didn’t want to pry or sound rude. “That’s alright. It was still great to see you.” “Oh, you too, for sure!” We chatted for a while longer before I finally took my leave. It was nice to speak with her again, even if she didn’t intend on attending the party with me. No matter. I still had a few options. And I would not grant Quick Draw the satisfaction of her seeing me lose. I would continue down the main road before I passed by a familiar mansion. I mused at the thought of taking Spoiled Rich, but I knew damn well that that would cause loads of turmoil. Sill a funny concept, though. However, much to my surprise, the mother of a mare was in her garden with tools. Strange. I thought she had servants for everything. Well, I wouldn’t simply stand idle. I approached the gate. “Hello?” “Hm?” she rose, her mane and tail dripped with sweat from the work she had accomplished. It certainly wasn’t a bad look for the aged mare. “Oh it’s my favorite boy. How are you today?” “I’m doing fine, ma’am. Actually rather busy searching for somepony to head to the Gala with me tomorrow.” She came out of the gate and leaned against me, “Ah. Galas...such a wonderful time I had in my youth. Stallions would line up just to have a chance of taking me out,” she eyed me up as if I were some sort of toy in a store window. “Hehehe...if only I were ten years younger…” Oh Luna no. That was a...strange thought. I was flustered, and gently moved away from her. “Ahem...well, yeah. I can definitely see why, heh. I’m sure you were just as fetching back then as you are now,” I gave her a compliment. She really was visually attractive despite her age, even though I harbored no romantic feelings for the married mare, I still wanted to be truthful. That honesty earned me another close embrace. Spoiled traced her hoof upwards along my neck. “Oh you...you know, if you ever wanted to be my plus-one in private, I wouldn’t say no. My husband and I have a new system in place for each other to keep things spicy.” I shivered in place. To outright refuse would be detrimental to her middle-aged self-esteem. I had to play this situation in a subtle manner. “Heh...well if I ever have time, I might take you up on that offer.” She was happy to hear this, and gave a tiny squeal. “Ooh! Naughty boy. I love that. Since you were so generous to accept my offer, allow me to return the favor.” “Hm?” She leaned in and whispered in my ear. “I’ve heard that a certain princess of the night is in search of a companion for such an event…” Was that possible? Could Luna really be interested in taking somepony to the Gala? And wait a second. “Hold on...just how do you know this?” The rich mare bumped me as she turned around, “Let’s just say gossip is one of my strong suits, dear. My name is Spoiled for a reason.” Because she spoils things that others don’t want told? Damn, the naming convention must’ve been on its A-game when her parents were around. But now, I had invaluable information. “Ah...I see. Thanks, Spoiled.” “Mm-hmm. Have a nice day, investigator boy,” she said with a wink before she returned to her garden. Sounded convincing enough to me. I certainly wasn’t going to allow Quick Draw to have the last laugh on the matter. So after work, that evening, I went straight home. Then, after a nice shower, I went to bed as always. It didn’t take long for the mare of the night to appear before me. She had on a black hoodie and her mane was done up in a ponytail. “Ah! Mr. Vestige! Are you alright?!” I picked myself up off the boundless floor of the dream world. “Ah...so here I am. Is everything alright, Luna? You seem quite troubled.” For sure. The blue alicorn was completely out of breath as she ran up to me. “Oh thank Sister’s name you are well. I have been attempting to enter your dreams for the last few days, but instead, I encountered some sort of...blockade.” “Ah, that must’ve been Sombra--or his ghost, rather.” Her eyes shot open. “You met Sombra?!” her pupils shrank and they darted around her eyelids in a nervous manner, “Um...h-how was he? Was everything well on his end?” Oh yes, that’s right. She expressly remembered his banishment. But it sounded like there were other feelings she wanted to hide behind her nervous voice. “...yes. He deeply regrets what he did, and even instructed me to give his last hidden treasure to the orphanage in the Empire,” I chuckled, “Hehe...I got quite the undeserved praise from the kids and the ponies who ran the place.” Luna had calmed down once I finished my explanation. She closed her eyes, and gave a sigh of relief, “Whew...that is very good to hear. Can you keep a secret? I have to be honest. If Sombra weren’t evil, I would’ve tried to court him back in my time.” I snickered at the thought, and made a ‘sealing’ motion across my lips with my hoof. “Heh. Don’t worry. That’s safe with me. But more importantly...Spoiled Rich was speaking to me about the fact that you apparently wanted to attend the Gala with somepony tomorrow.” She stomped her hoof. “Ooh…” “That busybody of a mare. Always in other ponies’ business…” “Yes, tis true. She must have heard me mumbling to myself as I checked in on her dream the other night. And before you ask what her dream was--you especially do not want to know, Pale.” Oh dear. I had already wagered a few guesses. But that was beside the point. “Anyhow. Would you wanna go? As friends, of course.” “Given that I have not attended such an event in a long time...not to mention sister’s teasing about my lack of--ahem--’dating’ skills lately,” she made air quotes with her hooves, “I would be delighted to attend with you.” “Pfft. She’s not one to talk. I don’t think she’s ever been in bed with anypony before.” Luna almost laughed, but held it behind a hoof, “Ppfbft! Shh, shh! Do not say such savage things, good sir!” “And I’m sure you’re already aware of why I’m going.” She nodded. “You wish to speak with Princess Twilight--still not used to saying that--about both the bat ponies and Cozy Glow?” “Correct, and hey. Didn’t you have two bat pony guards? Whatever happened to them?” Silence. There was something wrong for sure. “They...they are no longer of this realm. Natural causes. I no longer have any bat-likes in service. Those two were thought to have been in costume. Nopony realized who they truly were,” she trotted over to a nearby dream door, “If they did...panic would have followed.” “Understandable…” I took a pause out of respect. Then, I thought about something else. “Didn’t Fluttershy become a batpony for a while?” “That was a result of a failed attempt at casting a spell from Twilight which turned her into a bat-like on accident. Their race has been confined to Hollow Shades for eons due to--” “The fact that Sombra helped create them on accident,” I finished the explanation for her, “I know. But if they can be properly integrated into society instead of cast out, they could live among us and be a part of our group. Just imagine how cool it would be to have the bat folk in your guard again.” She trotted across the dreamscape floor. “I do admit, normal ponies can’t see very well at night. The bat-likes would be very nice to have around...but can you really convince Twilight that they’re friendly? In addition to offering Cozy Glow a second chance?” “It’s a tall order, I admit. But I intend to see these missions through. After all, Shining Armor has put faith in me to help dissolve any further conflict with the griffons as well.” “Ah yes...do be careful, and please watch out for him.” “Hm?” With no doors left, Luna sat down and a small device of sorts. Another video game thing? “He’s...not the stallion he used to be. Underneath all of his fatherly charm lies a bitter stallion who wishes he could be more than he is. Do not allow his methods to get to you.” I trotted over and leaned over her shoulder to watch. She was playing some sort of game that had a grid like chess with medieval characters on battlefields. “Don’t worry. I’m not concerned about that. All I’m concerned about is how I should dress.” She looked up from her system, and smirked, “I’ll come by tomorrow morning, and show you how you should dress. I need to finish this level and cure any possible nightmares that may arise.” “Oh...okay!” I was both excited and terrified at the thought. After a nice sleep, I woke up the next morning to a knock at my door. “Agh!” It disturbed me from my sleep, which caused me to hit the floor yet again. “Hang on…” I approached, and found the moon alicorn on the other side. “Greetings! Loyal sub--friend!” “Morning, Luna.” I yawned and stepped aside. It was a bit odd that she was so perky this early in the morning, but I didn’t question it. I was more interested in what sort of style we would need for such an event. “Thanks for agreeing to my quest. Didn’t think you’d actually be willing to go back to an event like this.” She started to style her mane in a full body mirror nearby. Wait, since when did I have one of those? “Are you kidding? Twilight’s Galas are far more enjoyable than the ones that Sister used to throw. Sure, less Canterlot ponies show up, but it’s far more inviting to ponies from all over now!” Ever the valiant one. All in an effort to unify the world. I could respect that. “I see...in that case, would it make sense to show up wearing--” Out of the blue, she had on a short, casual dress with a moon and star pattern. “Well? What do you think?” “Huh...not bad. But if I’m going to go, I should at least--” Before I could finish, Luna activated her horn. I suddenly had on a basic white polo and casual dress shorts that went down my flank. “Hm...okay, I think I can work with this. And you’re cool with taking this regular workhorse as your plus-one?” I said jokingly. “It suits you very well, Pale.” Luna giggled as she continued to fiddle with her mane in the mirror. “In truth, it has been ages since Sister and I actually had somepony go with us to such an event. Well--a stallion to be more precise.” I didn’t understand why that was such a big deal. I gave a shrug. “Eh? But there’s dozens upon dozens of devout followers.” “Not just followers, Mr. Vestige,” she turned to face me with her mane in tattered, wavy dreads, “Actual companions, friends, even dates. These are things that we were not permitted to have as rulers.” I nodded. It made sense that these sort of things would be inaccessible for those of their level. I even thought about the other, newly minted alicorns. “Ah, that’s right. Cadance snagged Shining, Flurry Heart managed to get Pound Cake pretty easily, and Twilight…” Luna waved her hoof, “We do not speak of Twilight’s relationship attempts.” “But--”’ Yikes, was Sentry considered that unspeakable? “Anyway, there’s also another problem you may not be aware of. The fact that stallions are...rather lesser in number compared to mares.” Huh. Finally someone else noticed. It wasn’t a huge issue, by any means. The population was still growing. However, I wanted to hear her perspective. “I see. And why is that a problem?” She faced towards the mirror again. Now she did something to her eyelashes with some sort of styling tool. I could never comprehend mare fashion. “It’s...not necessarily a problem per se. Rather, a nuisance. All of the good stallions were taken by the time Sister and I went searching. Tis quite unfair.” Ouch. Guess I could understand that. Given the census report of last year, I estimated that there was--at the very least--a three-to-one ratio of mares/fillies to stallions/colts in the major Equestrian cities. As a result, I could very well see where..skirmishes could take place among mares over who could take who out. That didn’t mean it was all bad, though. “I see. However, I have noticed plenty of couples made up of the same sex. So I don’t think ponies are exactly hurting for relationships.” “Not on a grand scale, thankfully,” she said as she began to work on her tail. “But when Sister and I were younger...during the...early days of Equestria, anypony we showed interest in had already been taken. The race to find good stallions was a rather annoying one between my she and I.” I snickered at the thought. Something about the thought of two teenage alicorns in a scuffle on their way into a stallion’s face only to get turned down because he already had somepony else was hilarious. A bit sad, but hilarious. “I see...I wonder if that will have any negative effects on the world at large as we go.” “I shall fill you in on one secret,” she leaned in close and whispered, “Stallions are highly valued because of this.” “Is that so? I suppose when there are less of them, they are considered a bit more important, but I wonder why…” The mare of the moon would laugh once more as she resumed styling her tail. “For someone so keen in the art of investigation, I am surprised you can’t guess why.” I thought about it for a bit longer, and suddenly realized the exact reason stallions were valued so much to keep society going. “Oh...oh. That’s why. You can’t very well continue the population without--yeah,” my cheeks were red. “Hehehe! The taboo-ness of such topics is always such an amusing thing to witness among the mortals.” I stuttered. “H-hey, these are sensitive subjects you’re bringing up!” “Done! How do I look?” Her mane was styled to be static in a curl, and the same went for her tail. “Quite amazing.” Then she put on a pair of glasses in order to cap off her outfit. “Huzzah! We shall be the Investigative Duo!” she proclaimed and put a hoof around my neck. “Wait what?” “Nopony is going to recognize me with glasses on. Haven’t you read the Wondermare comics?” I had to admit, they looked nice on her. Even if she wasn’t correct regarding the exact comic hero who had glasses for a disguise. “That’s Superstallion. Kenthoof?” "...I prefer Wondermare and Catmare. My apologies," she replied with a sheepish grin. Argh. This event had better not kill me.