The dim room slowly lit up with a golden light as the sun visibly rose up in the sky, brightly marking the start of a new day. A lone blanket atop a bed moved from the stirring mass underneath, and, suddenly, four hooves sprang out one by one. Then, the covers produced two pegasus wings. They flapped, flinging a gray, blonde pony onto the back wall at frightening speeds.
Derpy Hooves hit the wall with a resounding thump and promptly slid back down, her rump and mattress making a noise upon contact.
A blurry image of her bedroom complete with swirling stars filled her already-wonky vision as she got up and -- somehow -- shook off her concussion, relieving her of the funny aching in her head. The ditzy pony heartily yawned right after. "Good morning!" she said to no one in particular.
Casually hopping off the bed -- like she hadn't just hit her head on the wall at terminal velocity -- she started her morning routine. She combed her mane, brushed her coat then her teeth, entered her washroom for a wash, and slipped on an inconveniently-placed bar of soap. Finally, she sat down for breakfast holding a single apple in her mouth, her bare cupboards having nothing else to offer. As she was about to chomp down on her fruity meal, she decided to look at the time.
Her cuckoo clock -- miraculously working despite having a significant chunk smashed to oblivion -- hung on the kitchen wall, its hands proclaiming the time to be 9 a.m.. Because of Derpy's, well... derpy eyes, she had to squint hard to properly see it. After a few moments of struggling, she had ascertained that, yes, it was 9 a.m., and shrugged it off without realizing she was supposed to be meeting Doctor Whooves by then.
She blinked. She then immediately realized she was supposed to be meeting Doctor Whooves by then.
Her eyes widened in panic and she made a beeline towards the door. Smashing the door clean off its hinges, she tripped on the way out and fell on her back, spitting out the apple she still had in her mouth. The fruit did a little flip mid-air before landing cleanly back into the mare's open maw.
A second later, there was an audible crunch and the apple fell off her side. "Mhmm!" Derpy mhmm'ed, the crisp taste of old fruit gracing her tongue.
She hastily got back up on her hooves, and -- full of determination and half an apple -- flew up into the sky. Of course, being a mailmare with a reputation for crashing into things, she collided head-first into a cloud. The puff of condensed vapor drenched her with water. Wings soaking wet, she fell back down onto the ground. Wasting no time in regaining her balance, she galloped off to the streets of Ponyville.
Derpy burst out of a soap store unscathed, albeit, entirely covered in soap suds save for her face and hooves. Moments earlier, the poor shop owner was shocked when Derpy unsuccessfully skidded to a halt making a turn around a corner and unceremoniously crashed into the establishment. Derpy, upon regaining her bearings, quickly took her escape out onto the streets. Some mistook her for a runaway sheep. Of course, it is only Derpy, but some might say that was even worse.
The soap eventually wore off her body, but the troubles didn't stop there. She turned left then right into a narrow street. The way was lined by houses on either side, each house separated by small potted shrubbery.
Derpy tried and failed to jump over each shrub, every leap covering her in more leaves and making her increasingly look like the shrubs themselves. Finally, after a minute of the dreaded ordeal, she was out of the horrid street and into the open.
Derpy ground her hooves to a stop and looked around, each of her eyes gazing at different directions. After minutes of surveying the land, she realized she was on the outskirts on the wrong side of town.
"Aw, horseapples." she kicked the ground as she thought all hope was lost. She thought about how she was late and how much the Doctor was disappointed in her and how he'll hate her forever and--
Then, in the corner of her eye, there was hope. A large, wooden crate labelled "fireworks" stood right outside a certain magician's wagon, beckoning her to come over. Derpy happily obliged.
"And... there!"
Derpy fastened the last of the rockets onto her back with some rope she found nearby. She flared her wings, showing off more rockets strapped onto her with each one's fuse -- along with others -- connected to a single super-fuse. Brave and stupid, she poised herself for take-off and lit the super-fuse with a match. She closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable.
Several seconds passed and Derpy took a tentative peek. She felt very disappointed when she saw no more spark nor fuse.
"Well, that didn't work. I guess I'm just going to have to--" Whatever she was going to say was abruptly cut off as she was launched upwards in a plume of smoke.
Derpy was rocketing violently into the air, the sudden thrust knocking her breath away. After the initial shock, however, she started to angle her wings for control. Eventually, despite the overwhelming G forces, she managed to manoeuvre her trajectory into an arc, steadying herself into one direction:
To the Doctor's, she thought.
Derpy tore through the sky, smoke and sparks trailing behind her. Ponies down below watched in awe at the spectacle before them as she whizzed by just above the rooftops.
"It's a bird!" a mare shouted.
"It's a... plane?" a stallion said before asking what a plane was and why he said it.
"No, it's Derpy Hooves strapped to a bunch of fireworks!" another stallion yelled.
"Woah. Good eye..."
Meanwhile up above, the corners of Derpy's mouth were flapping against the wind from how fast she was going. Everything was a blur and a haze as she traveled through the air at dangerous speeds. Nevertheless, she straightened her eyes forward with steely determination and flew on.
That was until the rockets exploded.
Derpy fell out of the sky in a blazing, colourful display. Ponies gasped in shock down below as the last thing she saw was a thatched roof before being knocked out cold.
Doctor Whooves looked up from the table and glanced at the clock. 10 a.m., he sighed, Where is she?
As if on cue, a knock came on the door. The Doctor quickly got up to open it.
"Good morning... Derpy?" He paused to look at the pony before him.
Derpy, at first glance, looked less like Derpy and more like a hybrid between a pony and a chicken, most of her body covered in a mass of feathers. Sticks and branches poked out here and there with a noticeably large one looking like a unicorn horn.
"Good morning, Doctor!" the faux-alicorn-thing said. "Where's the bathroom?"
The Doctor pointed at the right direction and watched as the ball of feathers hobbled inside.
After a few moments of shock, he sighed and moved to close the door. Just before it was though, outside, there was a nearby pillow factory on fire. Faintly, one could hear a certain mare screaming, "The horror! The horror!" through the horror.
What a perfectly fine morning in the small town of Ponyville.