“Princess Celestia!” Twilight greeted her mentor with a hug as she entered the hall, and the two shared matching smiles when the younger alicorn pulled back.
“Hello, Twilight,” Celestia replied. “It’s good to see you again. I love your dress!”
“Thank you!” Twilight twirled once to show off the whole ensemble with a proud grin. “Rarity never ceases to amaze. Your gown looks lovely, too. It’s very slimming.”
“It’s surprisingly supportive,” Celestia said, a hoof moving to her midsection. “Yet not too tight where it matters. I believe Nilla will be quite comfortable for the evening.”
“If you need me, I’ll be over here,” Bean quipped with a grin.
“Oh! Sorry,” Twilight said. “Hello to you, Bean. I see you finally got a proper coronet to wear?”
Bean glanced up to his new headwear. “I did. But I think I’ll just wear it for special occasions. I don’t want to break it, and I have a history of doing just that.”
Twilight giggled as the three of them entered the grand ballroom. “I don’t think you could even if you tried, if yours is anything like the one Sir Golden Hammer made for me. It’s a very nice coronet, too. It suits you.”
“Thank you,” Bean said with a pleased grin. “So, when do we get this party started?”
“It has already begun,” Celestia said, with a wave to the ponies who had arrived. “But the festivities will begin in earnest in about half an hour or so.”
“And we just sit back and watch, right?”
“I’m afraid so,” Celestia said with a sigh. “But perhaps we will be able to escape royal protocol for at least one dance together.”
“I’d like that.”
“I do want to thank you for taking care of the details for this year’s Gala, Twilight,” Celestia continued, her gaze moving to her former student. “It’s been nice to not have to worry about it.”
“Anything I can do to help, Princess.” Twilight beamed under the praise of her mentor. “I’m happy to do it.”
“Thank you from me as well,” Bean added. “Life has been stressful enough, what with Celestia being pregnant. I was worried that planning everything for the Gala might be too much for her.”
“Indeed,” Celestia said. “I am looking forward to just enjoying the Gala for once.”
The conversation was interrupted by a blast of fanfare from the main door, drawing everyone’s attention to the new arrival.
“Announcing Her Most Royal Highness…” the Royal Crier began, but he was promptly cut off by a loud hiss of annoyance.
“Majesty!” Chrysalis snarled, her fangs bared. “I am a queen, thank you very much! I insist you use the proper title!”
“Uh, right.” The Crier cleared his throat, then began again. “Announcing Her Most Royal Majesty, Queen Chrysalis, and her escort, Sergeant Hokey Pokey!”
“That’s better.” Chrysalis stuck her nose in the air over the gasps of alarm that came from the assembled guests, and she strode in with her self-assured confidence on display in every step. Hokey Pokey, for his part, had one hoof on his forehead, and though Bean couldn’t quite hear what he was muttering, he was sure the poor guard wasn’t saying anything flattering. Or repeatable in front of young ears.
“Chrysalis is here?!” Twilight went airborne, her horn flaring to life. “How did she get past the guards?!”
“With an invitation,” Celestia said with a nicker of annoyance.
“What? What idiot thought it would be a good idea to invite her?”
“Princess Cadence proposed the invitation and I approved it.” Celestia merely watched impassively as the changeling queen cheerfully waved to a small gaggle of shocked partygoers, then cackled as they cowered before her.
Ever so slowly, Twilight Sparkle descended back to the ground next to Princess Celestia and folded her wings back up, but a muscle in the corner of the young princess’s eye began to twitch. “That doesn’t make any sense!” she protested. “Why would Cadence want her to attend? Why did you go along with her?”
“Cadence insisted,” Celestia said. “I’m not sure why she was so adamant about it, though. All she would say was that Chrysalis needed a nudge, and that the Gala would provide it. I assume she was referring to the relationship between Sergeant Pokey and Chrysalis, so in the end, I asked the planning committee to send her an invitation.”
“Relationship?” Twilight’s eyes darted to the Royal Guard following Chrysalis, and she seemed to have problems swallowing for a moment before she continued with slightly less vehemence. “That’s… disturbing, but how do we know she won’t try to attack us?” Twilight asked. “Again.”
“We don’t,” Celestia flatly replied. “But if she does have something in mind, I doubt Pokey will let her execute it. Even if she does overpower him, we do have you and the other Elements of Harmony here to deal with the situation.”
“Well, I suppose she could stay. So long as she behaves herself,” Twilight muttered.
“I’m gonna go check on Luna,” Bean abruptly announced with a snort, and he was gone before anypony could reply.
“Bean didn’t like the idea either?” Twilight asked as the solar prince marched himself down the stairs and out a side door.
“He was quite adamantly against the notion,” Celestia said. “He was hoping that she would not show up. But I trust Cadence and her intuition, so I’m afraid I had to overrule him and his desires to have her arrested on sight, painted several shades of rainbow colors, and fired back to the changeling lands in a cannon.” Celestia rolled her eyes. "We don't have a cannon nearly large enough to use on a changeling of her caliber."
“I hope this doesn’t ruin the evening for him.”
“He’ll be fine,” Celestia reassured the young princess with a smile. “In fact, I believe he will forget all about Chrysalis once Discord gets here.”
“Wait.” The muscle at the corner of Twilight’s eye began to twitch again. “You invited Discord?!”
* * ✹ * *
“I don’t think Sunbutt and that Bean are happy to see me,” Chrysalis cackled, her magic filling a cup with berry punch. “Did you see how he stormed out? How terribly delightful. I do hope I ruin their evening.”
“You’re doing a fantastic job of ruining mine,” Pokey muttered.
“Oh, don’t pout, my Pokey-wokey. I promised to behave, and behave I shall. Besides, I’m sure they’ve got better things to worry about than little ol’ me.”
“That fills me with an indescribable feeling of relief.”
“Now now, my succulent centurion. I am a bug of my word, you must admit. If I say I will disrupt a summit, then I disrupt, but when I say I’ll behave, I do. Now quit pouting and let’s go try some of that moose mousse.”
Another proud fanfare rang out from the main entrance, and Chrysalis found her attention pulled to the sound. “Announcing the Lord of Chaos, Discord, and his guest—”
There was an awkward pause until the draconequus leaned down and whispered something in his ear.
“—The Smooze!”
Chrysalis soaked in the confusion—or, what she thought was confusion, since she had no idea what emotion would taste like a stick of wood—as a large green blob in a top hat and bow tie sloshed into the room. A dopey grin crossed its face—if sentient piles of goo had faces, that is—and the ponies nearest to the entrance either gasped, fainted, or beat a hasty retreat towards the back of the ballroom.
“What is that thing?” Pokey asked.
“I’m quite sure I don’t want to know,” Chrysalis replied, but she snickered when the pile of sludge slurped and squelched into the hall, leaving a trail of thick green mucus as it went. “But I kinda like it. It has a certain eldritch abomination vibe that’s rather endearing.”
“Great. That’s all we need,” Pokey grumped. “Discord better keep it under control.”
* * ✹ * *
“Stupid Chrysalis and her stupid stupidness,” Bean grumbled, his steps echoing loudly off the marble walls as he stomped down the empty hallway. “I don’t know why Celly said she could come. She’s just going to make a mess of everything, and then try to steal everyone’s love while we’re all busy dealing with whatever she did.”
“Sir?” Corporal Larkspur’s voice interrupted his fuming. “Is something wrong?”
“Yes, but no,” he huffed to the inquisitive guard. “Chrysalis decided to show up and disrupt everything.”
“She’s here?” Larkspur’s horn flared to life. “Just a moment, sir! I will summon the guards who aren’t occupied with the Gala, and—”
“Hold it!” Bean cut in before he could rush off. “She’s invited."
"Invited?! What idiot would invite—"
"Princess Celestia and Princess Cadence said it's fine," added Bean quickly through clenched teeth. "So far, she’s behaving. I don’t like her being here, but unless she attacks the Gala, Princess Celestia wants me to leave her alone.”
“But she tried to melt your brain!” Larkspur protested.
“I said the exact same thing,” Bean said with a chuckle. “But Princess Cadence has a ‘feeling,’ and Celestia says we need to trust her. So here we are.”
The corporal nodded, but his face showed that he was no more at peace with the idea of Chrysalis in the palace than Bean was. “It must be terribly awkward to have her in the same room with you, Sir.”
“That’s an understatement. Have you seen Princess Luna? I’ll feel safer if there are three alicorns to one changeling queen.”
“She hasn’t come out of her chambers, Sir,” Larkspur replied. “Would you like me to check for you?”
“No need,” Luna’s voice cut in. “I am here.”
Bean turned to his sister-in-law, and he took a moment to admire her gown. It was a sleek silk number in a dark royal purple, with silver trim along the hem of the skirt and a smattering of sequins along the bodice. The princess offered a slightly embarrassed smile as she unfurled her wings to show off her ensemble, and she held out one forehoof to show off her new silver shoes. “What do you think?”
“You look fantastic,” Bean said. “Did Rarity make this one for you as well?”
“She did. However, I fear her hard work will be for naught.”
“Why is that?”
Luna gave Bean a sad smile, and her gaze went to something on the ground by her rear hooves. “I do not think I will attend the Gala, Bean.”
“Because of Star?” Bean gently asked.
“That is part of it,” she slowly said. “But not the whole. I am… uncomfortable, if that is the right word, in situations like this.”
Bean wanted to reassure her, but he held back his comment. Luna was still sorting out her thoughts, and he could sense that he needed to let her get everything off her chest first before he said anything.
“‘Tis a silly thing, when one really thinks about it,” Luna said at length. “My greatest duty and delight is to help the little ponies of Equestria, but…” she stalled for another long moment. “Bean, I perform my duties under the cover of the night. I work amongst the shadows, rendering my aid to individuals in an unobtrusive manner and with a great degree of stealth. I know the ponies of Equestria have accepted me as their Princess, but I find it difficult to be among large groups of them. If I go down to that ballroom now, I will be thrust into the spotlight, as it were.
“It is also difficult for me to speak to others about the current trends of the day, for my tastes are still horribly outdated. I can lay down edicts, cast judgement in court, and defeat the most vile of nightmares, but I am at a loss when a pony asks me if I prefer the music of Countess Coloratura or Songbird Serenade. I do not wish to bore others with the details of running Equestria, but what else do I have to talk about?”
“So don’t speak,” Corporal Larkspur piped up, then shrunk back when two pairs of royal eyes met his. “Ma’am,” he added.
“Please, go on,” Luna prompted.
“Well, usually Princess Celestia just stands there and spends all night greeting ponies, Ma’am,” he went on in a slow, hesitant voice. “So just do the same thing.”
“I’ll chat with you, if you hang out by Celly and me,” Bean added. “Or, better yet, we’ll park Trixie next to you. She’s more than happy to tell anypony and everypony about her Great and Powerful exploits, so you wouldn’t have to say anything. Besides, there’s bound to be a pony in that ballroom who likes something you like. A historian, maybe, or just a pony who prefers classical music over modern pop songs.”
Luna looked unconvinced. “Perhaps, but I still have my doubts.”
“You’ll never know unless you try, Ma’am,” Larkspur said. “Carpe Noctem.”
“Indeed.” Luna smiled slightly, and she took a step towards the guard. “But there yet remains one obstacle: I do not have an escort. It would be most uncouth if I were to attend without one. Celestia has already claimed Prince Bean, so who could I ask on such short notice?”
Larkspur’s eyes went as wide as dinner plates, and he retreated away from the situation until his rump hit the far wall. “Wait! That’s… against regulations. Isn’t it?” he asked weakly.
“Queen Chrysalis has a Royal Guard as an escort,” mused Bean out loud. “Approved by two princesses, so it must be acceptable.”
“But it’s a bad idea, right Sir?” added Larkspur with his rump pressed firmly against the corridor wall. “What would the nobility say?”
“They will be jealous,” said Luna with the beginnings of a vulpine smile. “Rumors will be spread. Perhaps we should consider making some of them true.”
Bean skated sideways until his rump found the edge of a doorway. “I’ll just leave you two alone,” he managed before fleeing.
* * ✹ * *
Baked Bean froze in the doorway to the grand ballroom, and for several long moments, he tried to process what he was seeing.
The effort did not provide any answers, but it did provide a singular sight that he would have never imagined on his own. He stepped to one side as a small stampede of ponies rushed past him, but the green blob monster that had been following them decided not to continue its pursuit. Instead, it made a sharp left turn, and with a dopey grin, it made its way toward the buffet table.
“Uh, Discord?” Bean blinked several times, just to make sure he was really seeing what he thought he was seeing. “What is that?”
“That, my dear Bean-o, is the Smooze,” Discord answered. He put one paw over his eyes and scanned the crowd. “Quite the party animal, too; he just loves a good shindig. You should go say ‘hello.’”
“Why, praytell, did you decide to bring a slime monster as your guest?”
“Details, Bean. Details,” Discord scoffed. “Nice crown, by the way. Say, have you seen Fluttershy anywhere?”
“I thought she was with Tree Hugger, over by the—”
“Of course she’s with her,” Discord growled. “That’s the problem!”
“Discord!” Trixie’s shrill shout of alarm cut through the air like a hot knife through butter. “Get this disgusting thing away from me!”
“Oh fine,” Discord scoffed before floating over to the assistant secretary and snatching up the slime ball. “Silly Smoozie, Trixie is for Bean! Now, you go run along. I can’t have you interfering with my plans.”
“Discord?” Bean called out, but by the time he finished saying the word, the draconequus had disappeared. Bean slowly began to walk towards his wife as the Smooze honed in on one of the decorative gems that was hanging by the windows.
“Is Trixie all right?” Celestia asked, once he reached her.
“Yeah, she’s fine,” he said while still looking at the blob. “Um… do you happen to know what that thing is?”
“The Smooze,” Celestia casually replied. “This is the first time I have encountered such a creature, I must admit. But then, if Discord lives in the Chaos Zone, it would logically follow that he has… neighbors.”
“Should we be worried?”
“Cautious, perhaps,” Celestia said as the Smooze slurped into the next room. “It seems harmless enough, even if it is a bit slimy. For now, we have our duties to attend to. There are many ponies who have been waiting to meet both of us. We shouldn’t keep them waiting.”
* * ✹ * *
“Shoo! Shoo!” Chrysalis waved a hoof at the Smooze in a halfhearted attempt to drive it away. “I don’t like you, and I’m sure you hate me too, on some level. Go away!”
“Aw, c’mon,” Pokey chuckled. “I thought you said it was cute.”
“I never said any such thing.” Chrysalis tried to push the encroaching slime away, but she recoiled in disgust when part of the Smooze remained attached to her hoof. “Ugh! Pokey, do something!”
“It’s probably attracted to the sparkles on your dress.” Pokey glanced around for a moment, then quickly snagged one of the tablecloths from a nearby table. With a deft flick of the hoof, he covered the changeling queen, and after a moment, the Smooze frowned and began to slink away.
“There we go,” Pokey said with a grin. “You’re welcome.”
“My hero,” Chrysalis muttered. “Ugh. If that thing is going to stay, then I’m leaving. It’s vile.”
“Really? It reminds me of your pod goo, in a way.”
“I suggest you keep that thought to yourself, Pokey. Unless you want me in your bed tonight. There’s no way I’ll be able to sleep in my pod if I think, even for a moment, that the goo will come to life.”
“It wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen to you,” Pokey noted. “I’d take sentient goo over tie dyed colors any day.”
“I don’t want either,” she huffed. “You ponies need to quit torturing me. I’ve had nothing but anguish since I came back for you.”
“Ever hear of a little thing called karma?”
“Shut up,” Chrysalis snapped, and she threw the tablecloth in Pokey’s chuckling face.
* * ✹ * *
“Introducing Her Royal Highness, Princess Luna, and her guest, Corporal Larkspur!” the Royal Crier⁽*⁾ announced.
⁽*⁾The Crier had been informed quietly and firmly that Larkspur was to be introduced as ‘guest’ instead of ‘escort,’ or even worse, ‘consort.’ Princess Luna had a few quiet words with him also, just to ensure there would be no mistakes.
—
Bean chuckled as Celestia squeed loudly, and before he knew it, his wife had rushed to her sister’s side, with a thousand praises for her dress and a thousand more cheerful words for her decision to attend. For his part, Bean slowly worked around the edge of the room, until he slid up next to the uncomfortable looking guard, who had been slowly working to put some space between himself and his unintentional date.
“Larkspur?” Bean took a moment to look over the tan stallion before him. “You look good.”
“If you say so, Sir,” he said, his hoof tugging on the collar of his dress uniform. “I hate being in formals. I feel like an overstuffed peacock.”
“I take it this means Luna talked you into attending the Gala with her?”
Larkspur gave him a sideways Look of Extreme Control. “Thank you, Prince Obvious. I tried to get out of it, but she shot down my attempts. When I mentioned I was still on duty, she immediately put me on the ‘injured reserve’ list, even though there is no such thing. I then tried to tell her about the regulations regarding proper guard/princess relations and behaviors, but she wrote me a special dispensation regarding those regs for the evening, signed by both her and Princess Celestia.”
“I was wondering what was in that note that Trixie burped up,” Bean quipped with a grin. “She wasn’t happy about it, either, since she was trying to make some sort of snarky remark to Princess Twilight at that exact moment. May I offer a piece of advice, Corporal?”
“I can use all the help I can get, Sir.”
“Neither of the princesses will be happy if you sulk all the way through the Gala, so I’m giving you a Royal Suggestion. Relax, go have a reasonable amount of fun with Luna, and…” he waved a hoof in the air “dance with her, at least once.”
“But—”
“No buts,” Bean cut him off. “There is a beautiful young mare over there who deserves to have a kind stallion at her side. Go there, be that, and… well, if you feel like you’re being watched by her late husband, you’re not crazy.”
Larkspur didn’t say anything to this right away, but his face showed his inner concerns about the low level of sanity in the area as clearly as dawn. He glanced over to Luna, hesitated for a moment more, and then glanced back to Bean. “I’ll… try to, Sir.”
“Good.”
A screech from outside suddenly interrupted the festivities, which was quickly followed by loud banging and a demand to be let in from Rarity. Both stallions watched Princess Twilight as she unlocked a set of doors that led to the royal gardens.
As soon as she did, Rarity burst through with a gasping breath, her mane and dress both caked and soaked in the Smooze’s smooze. She lurched forward, collapsed, and twisted to point to something outside. “That creature took my jewels!”
Bean watched on as the Smooze attacked another helpless mare from behind, but his concern doubled when the blob grew ever-so-slightly after swallowing her golden headdress. A hoof went to the brand-new coronet on his head, and he began to move towards his wife, in the hopes that she would offer some protection.
“I’m with you, Sir,” Larkspur said, and he followed Bean as Twilight Sparkle confronted Discord about his ‘friend.’
“I don’t know what’s gotten into him tonight,” Bean said. “I mean, yeah, he’s the Lord of Chaos, but he’s being a huge pain in the flank right now. He’s usually better behaved than this.”
“Maybe we should put him in time-out, Sir,” Larkspur offered. “That usually works with my sister’s kids when they get too rowdy.”
Bean didn’t reply for a moment, as he was too busy watching Discord suck the residual slime—and Rarity’s entire ensemble—off of Rarity with an oversized vacuum cleaner. “If he keeps this up, we might have to. Excuse me for a moment, would you?”
Larkspur nodded, and Bean quickly trotted over to Discord, who was attaching a collar and leash to his errant guest. “Discord? What in Equestria are you doing?”
“Why, my good Baked Bean!” Discord gave Bean a grin, and he pulled the Smooze towards the edge of the hall. “Whatever do you mean?”
“I mean why are you letting this… thing roam around, unsupervised?”
“What? Oh, no!” Discord scoffed. “Smoozie here just gets a bit carried away sometimes. He has a party hearty attitude, and he came here ready to par-tay! Really, things would go a lot smoother if you’d just treat it like any other pony here.”
“That’s a bit hard to do when he keeps eating anything in sight that’s shiny,” Bean shot back. “Does this have something to do with Fluttershy?”
“Oh, would you look at the hour?” Discord produced a ringing alarm clock from somewhere, and with a quick kick, he stuffed the Smooze into a nearby closet. “So much Gala to enjoy, so little time! I simply must be off!”
Bean shook his head as Discord disappeared. “Well, he’s certainly keeping tonight interesting, that’s for sure.”
* * ✹ * *
“You ponies throw lame parties,” Chrysalis grumbled.
“Aww, are we pouting because we’re not the center of attention?” Pokey said with a smug grin.
“No. Don’t be ridiculous,” Chrysalis snapped back, her eyes sweeping across the mostly empty dance floor. “Just look around, Pokey. Everypony is standing around, talking. How is this any different than a normal day in the Palace?”
Pokey started to reply, stopped, and blinked. “We’re usually not so elegantly dressed?”
Chrysalis snorted. “Exactly.”
The dutiful sergeant turned back to his date, and he couldn’t hold back the question that had come to his mind. “So why did you decide to come to the Gala, then?”
“To be with you, dummy. I said that when I got the invitation.”
“No, that can’t be it. You spend every night at my house, and you follow me around like a lost puppy whenever I go out to run errands. If you wanted to spend time with me, we could have had a pizza delivered.”
Chrysalis harrumphed, then stuck her nose in the air. “Fine, you got me. I’m stealing all of the love I can possibly get.”
“Come on,” Pokey cajoled in a sing-song tone and with a poke to her side. “You can tell me. You’re not stealing any emotions, I know you’re not.”
“Drop it, Pokey,” Chrysalis snarled, her fangs flashing from a curled lip.
“Tell me, Chrissy. This is your Pokey-poo you’re talking to.”
“I said shut up!”
“You’d feel so much better if you share.”
“Because I want to be a queen!” she snapped as she whirled and came nose to nose with him. “There! Are you happy now?!”
Pokey gave an undignified grunt that was an equal mix of “huh?” and “what?” as Chrysalis retreated and turned her back to him. “Hang on a minute. That doesn’t make any sense. You already are a queen.”
“Nothing gets past you, does it?” she bitterly snapped. “Thank you for that stunning revelation, Captain Obvious.”
“So, what are you talking about?”
Chrysalis snorted, but Pokey was sure that he had seen a tear in the corner of her eye, if only for the briefest of moments. “It’s stupid. You wouldn’t understand.”
“I’ll never understand if you don’t tell me,” he countered. “But I just might surprise you if you do.”
A sharp chirp of annoyance came from somewhere in Chrysalis’ body, and her head dipped slightly. “I just wanted to feel like a real royal for once. Just once! Is that too much to ask for, Pokey? Celestia sits over there, with all of her little ponies fawning over her greatness, and Luna has her little fangroup. What do I get? Nothing. My drones don’t throw themselves at my hooves, unless they’re begging for their lives. Ponies run from me in fear, or run me off with pitchforks and torches. Did you ever think that, just maybe, we changelings have emotions, too? I have a heart,” she added, putting a hoof on her chest. After a moment, she shifted her hoof down and to the left before continuing.
“Anyway, did you ever think that I might like to enjoy the same courtesies that your princesses receive? Did it ever cross your mind that, if I was given the opportunity, I would like to be treated like the queen that I am? That maybe, just maybe, there was once a little changeling princess who grew up loving the same ridiculous fairy tales about elegant princesses who get swept away by Prince Charmings that your little fillies did?”
Pokey didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure what he could say.
“When I got that invitation for this horrid Gala, I was foolish enough to think that I could be a queen—a real queen—for just one night. I was going to hobnob with all of the snobs, and daintily eat eclairs while laughing over the latest fashions of the court. I even dared to think that…”
“That what?” Pokey prompted after a long pause.
“Well, that I might be able to talk with Celestia and Luna,” she softly murmured. “I mean, I know I’ve been a huge pain in their ample flanks, but they’re both renowned for their forgiveness, so maybe they would let bygones be bygones for one night, and we could… well, I don’t know. They’re princesses, and I’m a queen, so we could talk about whatever royalty talks about. I was even willing to ah...apo...apologize,” she nearly choked on the word as she brought it out “to that Bean, if it would mean that I could—”
She stalled out again, and this time, Pokey definitely saw the tear as it trickled down her cheek.
“I want to go,” she said after a moment, the anger heavy on her words. “You win, Pokey. You’ve now seen the Mighty Chrysalis make an absolute idiot of herself. I’m sure you’ll run off and gloat to all your guard friends, and the princesses will cackle with glee when they hear about how stupid I am.”
“Hey, wait.” Pokey grabbed her hoof as she tried to turn away, but her gaze came back to him. “I never knew you wanted all of that.”
“That’s because you’re just foalsitting me, stupid. You’ve never asked about my feelings, or what I’m thinking about. You’re just making sure I don’t cause problems.”
“You know as well as I do that you’re wrong about that.”
Chrysalis hesitated. “Fine, so you care a little bit about me. But you’re not trying, either. When I was Bluebelle, you asked all about my interests. Have you asked me about that since I came back?”
“I didn’t think I had to,” he said. “Did you really lie about all of that? I thought you had told me the truth. If it had been all one big fabrication, I would have picked up on it. I’ve been trained to notice when somepony is being deceitful, after all.”
“What difference does it make?”
“Maybe not a lot, but it gives me a starting point,” he said slowly. “I’m not heartless either, Chrissy. If you really want to meet the princesses, then let’s go meet them.”
“I changed my mind,” Chrysalis said as her hooves frantically flailed against the smooth tile floor. “Barbequed changeling smells horrible and tastes even worse, trust me. Let’s just forget I said anything and go back to the hor d’oeuvres.”
“No way,” Pokey replied with a grin as he pushed the queen towards his diarchs. “First rule of the Royal Guard: confidence wins battles, fear loses them. Unless you really want to spend the rest of your life on the run, you need to make amends sooner or later.”
“I vote for later,” she protested, and she gasped as the Sisters’ gaze moved to her. “No! Hokey Pokey, stop right now! I’m not ready for this! I’m too beautiful to die! Let me go!”
Pokey ignored her orders, and Chrysalis went as stiff as a board for the last few feet between herself and the Equestrian rulers. A muffled ‘eep’ escaped when one of Celestia’s eyebrows slowly drifted upwards in wary curiosity, but Pokey pressed on and bowed before his lieges.
“Your Highnesses, forgive my intrusion, but I would like to introduce you to Chrysalis, Queen of the Changeling Hoards. She was just telling me that she was hoping to talk with you.”
“Really?” Luna’s dark tone washed over the terrified bug and threatened to drown her in inky black ire. “I am curious what you could possibly have to say to us.”
“Indeed,” Celestia added. “Please, Chrysalis. Let us not stand on formalities here. We are the respective rulers of our kingdoms, so there should be the greatest degree of openness among us, should there not?”
“Pokey, I am going to kill you when we get home,” Chrysalis said through a clenched smile.
Pokey shrugged and chuckled. “Sudden death is an accepted occupational hazard in the Royal Guard. I’ve had a good run.”
“I loathe you,” she muttered quickly before offering an awkward chuckle. “Look, Your Highnesses, it’s been such a pleasant evening. Let’s not ruin it with any hasty death sentences or oversized fly swatters, shall we?”
“Of course not,” Celestia said in a smooth, even tone. “I would never think of such a thing unless a fair trial had been held first. Besides, the head executioner is on vacation this week, so we could not proceed until she returns.”
Chrysalis leaned back slightly. “So, you’re not going to incinerate me, or banish me to the moon?”
“It is tempting,” Luna offered with a contemplative frown. “While desolate, my moon does offer some rather stunning views, and it is quite the singular place to be imprisoned while paying off one’s debt to society. It would also be cheaper than fumigating the entire palace.”
“Perhaps we should take this one thing at a time,” Celestia added. “I am most eager to hear your reasoning for attacking Canterlot and brainwashing Shining Armor, for starters.”
Chrysalis barked out an uncomfortable laugh. I knew I should have stolen more love from Pokey when I had the chance! These two are going to bite my head off and serve my carcass to that Bean for dessert!
“Well?” Luna pressed.
Chrysalis glanced at Pokey in one final and futile attempt at escape, but he simply motioned to the princesses with a hoof and a smile.
“All right, fine,” she snorted. “Shining Armor is a stud. Even if the two of you won’t admit it out loud, you know it just as well as I do. Take that sexy flank, add in that overwhelming love he has for Lovebutt, and I couldn’t help myself, like you at a cake buffet. We changelings are attracted to love like a moth to flame, and Shiny shines like your sun. I had to abduct him.
“Canterlot was the next logical step. When my drones realized how much love we could get out of you ponies, they collectively started foaming at the mouth. It’s actually quite impressive that my drones were able to wait, because most of them wanted to attack as soon as they got a taste of Shining Armor’s refined love.”
“So you invaded,” Celestia noted with a faint scowl.
“In fairness to myself, the original plan was not to attack,” Chrysalis hastily said. “I was going to pod Lovebutt, and after the wedding, I was going to slowly smuggle my drones in and spread them wide over Equestria. That way, we could steal all the love we needed, but in a way that was undetectable. You never would have noticed us.”
“I doubt that.” Luna’s scowl matched Celestia’s, and they both glared at the changeling queen.
“Look, Princess, changelings have survived without you ponies for centuries. We’re experts at not being noticed. The only reason I got caught is because little Miss Meddling Pain-in-the-Butt got involved. Were it not for her and that stupid ladybug dance, I would have gotten away with it.”
“How do you explain the warnings we received from Shining Armor, then?” Celestia asked.
“Because he was more stubborn than I expected,” Chrysalis groused. “He always thought that I was Cadence, but he also always had this vague inclination that something was wrong. Believe it or not, but it was actually my suggestion for him to put up the shield around Canterlot. That way, he was still ‘protecting’ the city and the ponies from a non-existent threat, and the strain of keeping it up constantly would make him more susceptible to my magic. But then Twilight started sniffing around, and I realized she was a threat. So, I put my drones on alert and told them to attack if the real Cadence somehow escaped, or if I was exposed. They wouldn’t have invaded otherwise.” She gave a short huff of frustration. “I kept having to tell two lies to cover one lie, and it all came apart.”
“I have to say, your honesty is disturbingly refreshing,” Celestia noted.
“What do I have to lose?” Chrysalis shot back. “I can explain the truth. I can quantify it, justify it even. I’m not a complete monster, Your Highnesses. I’m just trying to provide for my subjects, same as you. I’m sure you both did some less-than-honorable things to protect and provide for your ponies at some point, too.”
“Perhaps,” Luna said, a small smirk on her face. “This all reminds me of myself, just before I was corrupted by the Nightmare.”
“What do you mean?”
“It means that, contrary to popular thought, the ends do not always justify the means, Chrysalis. To protect and provide for those in your care is noble and right, but how you choose to do that can be wrong. The Nightmare convinced me that I could compel the ponies of Equestria to love me, but it would not have stopped there. My reign would have been one of fear, of ever-increasing demands for the impossible, with ample punishments for those who failed. The atrocities I would have committed would have been unthinkable and horrendous. The ponies would have lived, but they would not have thrived. They would have stagnated, just as your hive has.”
“My drones are thriving!” Chrysalis barked, her fangs bared.
“If you say so,” Luna chuckled. “But as long as you keep that mindset, you will never progress. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I seem to have lost Corporal Larkspur, and I would like to sample some of that mousse moose before it is all taken. Your Majesty,” she dipped her head, and gave a smile to Celestia. “Sister. I shall point Bean in your general direction if I see him.”
“Thank you,” Celestia said, but her eyes remained on Chrysalis as Luna walked away.
“So, now what?” Chrysalis asked after a few awkward moments. “Are you going to throw me in your dungeons again? Banish me to the moon?”
“I should,” Celestia slowly said. “And I am tempted. However, I believe there is another punishment that will be far more effective.”
“And what might that be?”
Celestia smirked, and her eyes went to Sergeant Pokey for the briefest of moments. She then turned, and without a backward glance, she began to walk towards the front of the hall. “House arrest should do the trick, I think,” she called over her shoulder.
For a long time, Chrysalis simply stared as Celestia walked away. “I think your Princess is broken,” she finally observed to Pokey.
“No,” he said with a growing sense of dread. “She knows exactly what she’s doing.”
* * ✹ * *
Baked Bean had to admit that he was having a good time at the Gala.
When Chrysalis had first shown up, he had automatically assumed that the rest of the evening would be ruined, but the evil changeling queen seemed content to stick to the edges of the room with Sergeant Pokey. Celestia, Luna, and Twilight Sparkle had all been keeping a wary and watchful eye on the intrusive bug, so he had forced himself to relax and to try and enjoy the party.
Each new conversation with a guest had put the vile queen further out of his mind, and a couple of Maud Pie’s jokes had lifted his spirits considerably. He wasn’t sure if it was her timing or her deadpan delivery, but Pinkie’s sister was a natural comedian. Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash had drifted towards him as Maud had completed her routine, and he was happy to spend time with them once again.
“Well, here you are!” Celestia’s whispered voice came over his shoulder, and he giggled as her wing draped over him. “I thought I’d lost you for a moment. Are you having a good time?”
“I am,” he replied as he leaned into her. “I’m sorry I was grouchy earlier.”
“No need to apologize,” she said with a kiss for his cheek. “I understand why.”
“At least she’s behaving herself,” he noted. “I guess Pokey is making sure of that, eh?”
“Not directly. I think she’s behaving because she wants to behave. She does not want to upset her date.”
“Huh! Queen Chrysalis, behaving? Who would have guessed? Maybe we should just marry those two so she won’t act up anymore.”
Before Celestia could respond, however, the lights suddenly dimmed in the hall and all conversation stopped. A spotlight sprang to life from somewhere unseen, and the beam focused on a brick wall in the far corner of the hall that hadn’t been there five seconds ago.
“Oh, great,” Bean muttered. “What is Discord up to now?”
“Check, check. Check.” Discord blew into a microphone, then tapped it with a talon. “Is this thing on? Good evening, filles and germs! I just flew into Canterlot, and wow! Are my interspecies parts tired!”
A rimshot rang out over the silent crowd. Discord glanced around eagerly, but no laughter was forthcoming.
“I’ve only got these tiny, mismatched wings, but even I can fly better than Twilight Sparkle, am I right?”
“Hey!” Twilight protested, but Bean was almost positive that he had heard his wife giggle.
Discord chuckled nervously. He was obviously expecting more of a response from the crowd, and the silence was deafening. “Perhaps you’re all into more observational humor?”
“What is he doing?” Bean asked as Discord disappeared in a flash of light.
“Hey, did you ever notice that you materialize out of thin air?” he asked, his head and neck sticking out of a thin white portal. The rest of him then stepped out of said thin air, but he was now wearing a blue jacket with a red tie. “Why not thick air? What’s the deal there?”
Another rimshot rang out, but the only response was an awkward cough from a mare near the front of the stage.
“Tough crowd,” Discord said to nopony as he tugged on the knot of his tie.
“No, really. What is he doing?” Bean asked.
“I think he’s trying to tell… jokes?” Rainbow Dash hesitantly said.
“Maud!” Pinkie shouted. “Jokes!”
“My favorite,” Maud flatly answered.
Bean started to say something, but an odd green glow flashed in the corner of his eye and caught his attention. He twisted around to get a better look, but when he did, a shiver of fear ran down his spine.
“Uh, Celly?” he said softly.
“Knock, knock!” Discord’s voice seemed to drown out his.
“Sweetie? Love of my life?” Bean poked his wife in the ribs.
“You’re supposed to say ‘who’s there?!’” Discord whined. “It’s the most basic of jokes!”
“You’re the most basic of jokes,” Maud replied, which brought out the laughter that Discord had been seeking.
“Celestia!” Bean nearly shouted.
“What? Why are you poking…” Celestia turned, her words trailing off as the closet door slowly creaked open.
A thick green slime poured out of the open door, and within moments, it had flooded the entire hall with itself. A few ponies tried to make a run for the door, but most ended up stuck in the thick sludge with screams of alarm.
“Ugh!” Twilight tried to blast the green mass with her magic as Celestia hefted Bean onto her back with a wing, her mane and tail drenched with the mess. “None of my magic works on this ooze! Can you stop it, Princess?”
Celestia lit her horn, but a glob of the slime on the end of her horn absorbed her spell, expanding outward until she cut off the flow.
“I’m afraid not!” Celestia said as the small bubble burst.
“Discord! How could you bring him here?” Twilight demanded as the draconequus lazily floated above the malaise in the form of two pieces of frazzled rope tied together.
“Oh, he’s not that bad!”
“Discord, get this—” Bean started, but Celestia quickly shushed him.
“Wait, wait. Just watch. There’s a friendship lesson for Discord here.”
“Really? Now is the time for a friendship lesson?” Bean asked.
“Yes. Just watch,” Celestia said, and she pointed to Tree Hugger and Fluttershy, who were stuck to a nearby window.
“This is kind of a bummer,” Tree Hugger noted from her upside-down position.
“Isn’t it, though?” Discord replied, as he dropped in from above on a window washer’s platform. “And to think, it never would have happened had I come to the Gala as somepony else’s plus one!”
“Seems like something might have harshed his flow, y’know?” Tree Hugger went on. “Like, his senses are agitated.”
“You don’t know anything about rare creatures!” Discord angrily replied before floating down and patting the sea of slime. “I’ve known Smoozeface for ages, and he’s not agitated. He’s partying down!”
“All he needs is some calming auditory therapy!” Tree Hugger happily announced. “I know I always feel really at peace when I’m being bathed in positive vibes. Maybe he’ll calm down with some sonic bliss!”
“Do you even know what you just said?” Discord demanded with an angry scowl, but Tree Hugger was unperturbed. Instead, she simply closed her eyes and began to chant.
Or, at least halfway chant. Tree Hugger’s ‘sonic bliss’ was a mixture of chanting, but mixed in with even measure was an odd, high-pitched whinny.
For a moment, Baked Bean thought that Tree Hugger’s brain had been affected by the slime, but before his astonished eyes, the Smooze began to undulate, then pull back in retreat. With each repetition of the chant-whinny-whatever-it-was, the Smooze coalesced more, until finally, he was a large smiling pile of slime in the middle of the hall.
“Let go, Smooze! Bliss out!”
“Hey, it worked!” a pony called out, and a round of cheers came from the guests.
“Phew!” Bean exclaimed as Celestia’s magic gently put him back on the ground. “That was a close one, wasn’t it?”
“I don’t think we’re done yet,” Celestia said.
“What?”
“Oh, thanks, everypony,” Tree Hugger said with a small grin. “It makes perfect karmic sense that your magic doesn’t work on him. He only responds to vibrations that peace out his energy fields.”
“Stop it! Stop it!” Discord went snout to snout with the new age pony, his rage on full display now. “That’s it! I’m done with you, Tree Hugger!”
“Oh, man. You’re really bumming me out,” Tree Hugger said with a deep frown. “Can you just, like, lower your voice a skosh?”
“A skosh? A skosh?!” Discord roared. His talon lashed out, and with one quick swipe, he tore a hole in the fabric of reality and revealed a sparkling blue portal. Without a word, his magic lashed out and pulled Tree Hugger up, and with a malevolent grin, the Lord of Chaos floated the nuisance towards his unholy creation.
“Oh, dude!” Tree Hugger wailed. “What is that?”
“Um, I think now would be a good time to do something,” Bean urgently whispered to his wife.
“Not yet,” she replied. “I’ll catch her if he makes good on his threat, but just watch. He needs to work this out.”
“Relax, I’m not going to hurt you!” Discord gleefully cackled. “I’m simply going to send you to another dimension! I can’t have you interfering in my relationship with Fluttershy anymore!”
“This is all about Fluttershy?” Bean asked.
“Discord, stop!” Fluttershy called out, and she took to the air to confront her friend.
“I will! Just as soon as she’s gone!” he replied, and he summoned a small tea set in between them, complete with chairs and a table. “Then we can have a good laugh about this whole affair over our regular tuesday tea. I’m doing her a favor, Fluttershy. It’s a lovely dimension: white sand beaches, an attentive wait staff. I mean, okay, the humidity isn’t great, but where isn’t that the case these days?”
“I don’t understand why you’re doing this,” Fluttershy angrily shot back. “We were all getting along so well.”
“As well as we could, considering you’ve already stomped all over our relationship by inviting her,” he motioned with a talon back to Tree Hugger, who was watching the whole affair with obvious confusion “to the biggest night of the year, as if I didn’t matter at all!”
“Did you really think I’d abandon you just because I made a new friend?” Fluttershy challenged.
“Yes!” Discord instantly replied. “Because that’s what you did!”
“No, Discord! I invited a friend to a party,” Fluttershy replied right back. “I didn’t abandon you! What about Prince Bean? You’re his friend, right?”
“Fluttershy, what are you doing?” Bean meekly said as he ducked behind Celestia. “Why are you bringing me into this?”
“Did you stop being my friend because you’re friends with him?!” Fluttershy fairly spat the question out.
“Uh, well…” Discord stammered. “I suppose not.”
“And do you discuss the same things with Bean that you do with me?” she pressed.
“No,” Discord slowly said, the realization dawning on him like the sunrise. “Bean is a different friend for different things… oh dear.” He slunk back and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “It looks like I have overreacted by just a skosh.”
“More like a lot of skoshes!” Fluttershy corrected. “Tree Hugger, could you give us a minute?”
The imperiled pony simply nodded, a blissful smile on her face.
“I’m just so new at this whole friendship thing,” Discord said, the embarrassment heavy in his tone. “It’s so much more complicated that it looks.”
“Do you think that, maybe, you owe somepony an apology?” Fluttershy said, with a wave of her hooves towards Tree Hugger. Discord hesitated for a moment, but then he produced a small flower and offered it to Fluttershy, who smacked out of his paw. “Not me!”
“Oh! Oh, ahem,” Discord cleared his throat. With a snap of his talon, the portal was sealed, and Tree Hugger dropped into an oversized velvet pillow. He then shot over to the oversized Smooze, and in one swift move, he pulled out a sizeable trove of glittering jewels and gold from the middle of his friend. The Smooze instantly revered back to his original size, and in a flash, the stolen treasures were returned to their rightful place.
Or, at least Bean hoped Discord had put them back in the closet.
“Uh, Tree Hugger,” Discord walked over to her and Fluttershy, with his head hanging low in embarrassment. “I’m sorry you got caught in the middle of my, um… well, you know. Wrath,” he meekly finished.
“Oh, it’s all groovy,” Tree Hugger replied, but when Discord tried to hug her, she gently pushed him away. “Um, I need, like, a few minutes to clear out my chakras before I can hug you from a place of authenticity.”
“Chakras. Right,” Discord said with a chuckle.
* * ✹ * *
“Well, this has been a lively evening,” Bean noted. “Chrysalis crashed the party, Discord nearly sent a pony to another dimension, and a green blob nearly consumed the royal treasury. Does this happen every year?”
“Certainly not,” Celestia said with a grin. “Can you imagine how boring tonight would have been if I hadn’t invited him?”
Bean hesitated as he thought the question over. “No?”
“Trust me, it would be very dull,” she replied, and a hoof waved over the crowd. “Just look at how much fun everypony is having now.”
“I suppose so,” he said with a shrug.
“Besides, I believe I still owe you a dance,” she said with a laugh, her wing wrapping around him and sending tickles of delight running from his nose to his tail. “C’mon! The night is still young!”
“So, I guess we need to dance?” Corporal Larkspur asked as he and Luna watched Prince Bean and Princess Celestia move to the center of the dance floor.
“You are under no obligation,” Luna replied. “But if you are willing, I would love to share a round with you.”
“I’m not much of a dancer,” he replied with a hard swallow, but remembering Bean’s words, he continued with, “I would be honored, Prin— I mean, Luna.”
“I shall watch my hooves, then,” she said with a small grin as he offered a hoof to her. “Please, lead on.”
Sergeant Hokey Pokey chuckled to himself as Corporal Larkspur gingerly led Princess Luna out on the dance floor. He wasn’t quite sure how Lark had gotten himself into the uncomfortable position of being the lunar diarch’s ‘guest,’ but he was immensely grateful that it was Lark and not himself.
But then Pokey’s eyes drifted to the changeling queen on his left. A wistful, almost longing look was on her face, and his mind helpfully offered up a portion of their conversation from earlier.
“I just wanted to feel like a real royal for once. Just once! Is that too much to ask for, Pokey?”
“No,” he muttered, as his eyes went to her rear, and then back to her front. “It’s not too much to ask.”
“Did you say something?” Chrysalis turned to face him, but she let out a confused chirp when she found him with an outstretched hoof.
“Would you care to dance, Queen Chrysalis?” he asked.
Chrysalis hesitated. One forehoof started to lift up, but then it retreated back to the floor. “I hate dancing.”
“Going once,” Pokey offered, with as much silk in his voice as he could muster. “It’s not every day that a Queen has the opportunity to share a dance with her knight, and certainly not in a formal setting like this.”
Chrysalis bit her bottom lip, and her hoof slowly began to rise again. “I really shouldn’t. All I can do is bob from side to side while bending my knees.”
“Have you seen Princess Twilight Sparkle when she dances? Take a chance,” he offered in a purring whisper. “Be bold.”
Her hoof inched towards his. “You won’t laugh at me?”
“I’ll bob along right with you, if that’s what it takes,” he said with his most disarming grin. “No laughing, no judgement. Just a simple dance, nothing more.”
Her hoof gently took his, and a furious blush flared across her cheeks as she gasped and dipped her head in embarrassment. It was the exact same reaction that Bluebelle had whenever he had said something that pleased her, and his grin grew with the knowledge that those times might have been the real Chrysalis coming out to play.
“Fine, but just one dance,” she commanded, her glittering green eyes meeting his over the top of her glasses.
“Just one,” he repeated.
Pokey was grateful that the Princesses did not react to their presence as the rest of the guests cleared the floor. He was also grateful that Lark—and especially Prince Bean—were focused on their partners and not the changeling that had joined them, since there was still plenty of animosity between his prince and his date, and for good reason. Chrysalis giggled a bit to herself as Pokey bowed to her, and unexpectedly, she swept him up and into her embrace.
“You know how to waltz?” he asked, as they began to sweep around the room.
“A girl has to have some secrets,” she said with a grin. “I think the better question is ‘how do you know how to waltz?’”
“Standard guard training,” he scoffed. “We have dance class every Thursday. Helps you stay limber and lean.”
“And here I thought I had you figured out, my Pokey-poo,” Chrysalis said with a smile.
“You might, one day,” he retorted with a chuckle.
The pair continued their dance, with Pokey leading and Chrysalis following, but it only took a few moments for them to forget about Celestia, Bean, Luna, Larkspur, and every other guest in the grand ballroom. For the guard and the queen, there was nothing in the world but them and the music of the night as it caressed their moves and enchanted their hooves. Their steps were sure, their moves were elegant⁽*⁾, and the grace they displayed befitted her royal status and stature.
⁽*⁾For a given value of ‘elegant’
—
“So, what has brought on this sudden change in attitude from my Pokey-poo?” Chrysalis asked with a smile. “I expected you to complain the whole night, to be honest.”
Pokey smiled. “Will you be returning to your hive soon?”
“You shouldn’t answer a question with a question. It’s rude.”
“Perhaps, but your answer will help explain mine,” he said as they twirled along the edge of the room. “You’ve figured out how to change yourself back to your original evil colors, so there isn’t a reason you can’t go back.”
Chrysalis continued to dance, but her steps slowed slightly as she thought for a few moments. “Well, I really should go check on my little ‘lings, I suppose. But I did just get all of those new crossword puzzle books, and it would be expensive to ship them back, unless I use parcel post, but that takes forever, and you know I can’t live without my crosswords.”
“Indeed I do.”
“And I did just get my pod set up the way I like it,” she went on. “You’d be surprised how hard it is to get that pod goo to be both soft and firm at the same time. Hazelnut was going to show me how to make that cheese souffle of hers, and you promised to take me to that new Zesty Gourmand restaurant on the other side of town. And Sunbutt did put me on house arrest, apparently.
“So, I guess the answer is no,” she concluded with a thoughtful, but pleased smile. “I don’t think I’ll be going back to my hive anytime soon.”
Pokey nodded as they drew closer together. “Since all of that means that I now have a permanent roommate, I figured that I should probably try to get along with her. For my own peace and sanity, of course. Besides, you have to steal your love from somewhere, and I’m used to it by now.”
“I’d be careful if I were you, Hokey Pokey,” Chrysalis replied, as their noses nearly touched. “What would your superiors say if they found out you’re offering aid to the enemy?”
Pokey simply grinned. “I think they’d understand, in the end.”
“Tell me, Corporal, are you having a good time?” Luna asked, and the corners of Larkspur’s mouth twitched upwards.
“I suppose so, Your Highness. You’re a very light dancer, if I may say.”
“Thank you. You are doing well yourself.”
“Tumbleweed and Marigold are going to have a field day when they hear about this,” Larkspur said with a chuckle. “And I can only imagine what Mint will say.”
“I do regret that your family is not here,” Luna said. “But perhaps I can make it up to them. The Summer Sun Celebration will soon be upon us, and I would be honored if you and your family would attend as my special guests.”
“I’m sure they’d enjoy that immensely, Princess. I gratefully accept your invitation.”
“Good. I also appreciate your willingness to assist me this evening. I know I ‘put you on the spot,’ so to say, but your company has greatly eased my concerns and doubts.”
“I’m not quite sure how I’ve helped, Your Highness, but as a guard, it is my duty, my honor, and my joy to be of assistance.”
* * ✹ * *
“Ugh,” Bean said with a yawn as he followed his wife into their bedroom. “I think I’m getting spoiled with this royal lifestyle stuff. I used to stay up late all the time when I worked at the Zuerst. Now I can’t even last much past eleven.”
“I suspect your early mornings with me are a primary cause for that,” she said with a nuzzle, which brought out a giggle from him. “But I think you have enjoyed your first Gala, no?”
“Oh, yeah. This has been fun, and interesting,” he said. “Though I’m not sure how you’re going to top this next year.”
“Next year may prove to be more sedate,” she agreed.
“Good evening, Your Highnesses.” Sassy Saddles greeted the royals with a quick curtsey.
“Oh! Miss Saddles. I thought you had gone home for the night,” Bean said with a small note of alarm.
“Not yet. I am under strict orders from Miss Rarity to make sure your new outfit is removed and stored properly.”
“Removed?” Bean asked, his hoof reaching up to the buttons on his coat.
“Yes. If you take it off the wrong way, it will wrinkle the fabric. Once I’m done with you, I will assist the princess with her dress. This should only take me a few minutes.”
“I didn’t realize there was a wrong way to take off a coat,” Bean remarked dryly. “The dress I get.”
“Just over here, Your Highness.”
Celestia smiled as she watched Bean and his haunches as he moved over to Miss Saddles, but a loud belch from behind interrupted the lustful plans that had begun to form in her head.
“Blegh,” Trixie grumbled as she came up on Celestia’s left side with several loose papers in her magic and a hoof on her stomach. “Message from Miss Wysteria for you, Princess.”
“Miss Trixie, I need you to stay here, too. I’ll get you out of that dress once I’m done with the Princess,” Sassy called out.
“Fine,” Trixie muttered with a large yawn as Celestia’s magic took the papers.
A frown came when the princess read the first page.
Enclosed are the confirmation forms for the caterers for the Grand Galloping Gala. I initially thought they were for the Royal Dessert Competition in a few weeks, and misfiled them as such. Please forgive the inconvenience.
-Wysteria
Celestia felt a deep well of regret tie her stomach up in a tight knot. Her dear Bean had turned in the paperwork, as requested, yet she had not bothered to verify with Wysteria.
She had sent her husband on a needless wild goose chase, and she could imagine how annoyed—and perhaps, a little hurt—he had felt with her accusation and demands. Her eyes went to the long, thin envelope that Bean had thrown on the vanity table that morning, and her magic pulled the folded letter out from within.
Dear Mister Shane Husson,
We regret to inform you that your recently submitted story does not currently meet our publication standards, and has thus been rejected. We have returned your manuscript with this notification, and wish you well with your future writing endeavors.
Sincerely,
The Editorial Staff of Pony Press, Inc.
Celestia’s eyes flicked back to Bean, but his back was turned to her as Sassy Saddles worked her magic on his vestments. Silently, Celestia slid the rejection back in the envelope, and her mind began to churn as she thought over this news. This would be the thirteenth rejection letter that Baked Bean had received on his story, and it tore at her heart to think that she had been so snippy with him that morning. Had she known, she would have offered a more conciliatory statement and ignored the missing paperwork entirely.
But then she happened upon a thought, and a soft smile came as she thought it over. She would have to pull a few strings and abuse her powers as Princess slightly, but if she could pull it off, her dear Bean would be pleasantly and happily surprised.
* * ✹ * *