The Pyramids still exist, by the way. The Mushroom War came, destroyed the world, but the Pyramids remain. Something tickled the brains of those Egyptians enough to build massive tombs that would stand the test of eons, ensuring they remained.
The Egyptian Pyramids were not the only triangular relics that the Earth had, but they are the longest lasting. They’re currently right smack-dab in the middle of the Dead Side of the Earth, so tourism is a little low, but it just goes to show that, even without maintenance, the piles of blocks remain strong. Stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the fact that not only is their era gone, but has been replaced with new eras multiple times.
This long-lasting nature has prompted many to come up with wild conspiracy theories about the Pyramids. Some of them are almost right.
~~~
“All right Marcie, hit it!”
Marceline twirled her axe-bass in her left hand before strumming up an energetic beat. Pinkie began to tap her hoof in time with the beat, her grin slowly widening. The moment Marceline let out a powerful chord, Pinkie jumped through the front doors of the castle and slapped a table on the ground. “Let’s get this party-setup started!”
The banana guards in the hall stopped talking amongst each other and stared at her in shock. Pinkie winked at one of them and started singing, a slow tune following her voice.
“Oh, look at the state of this palace!
Now, I don’t mean to be callous,
But this isn’t what a party needs at all!”
She jumped to the banana guards, and the tempo jumped with her.
“You, to the kitchen, order a feast!
One for the most ravenous of beasts!
And you, bring supplies for this great party of all!"
“Yes ma’am!" they sang, saluting and running off in several directions.
Marceline looked on, shocked at the activity exploding around her. After a moment she found herself joining the song, fingers never leaving her bass.
“Crazy pink pony,
Starting a party,
A Festival of Hooves and Hands
Unbelievable!”
As the remaining banana guards joined in on the last line Pinkie jumped over Marceline’s head, flicking her ears in every direction.
“You better believe it, Marceline,
We’ll make the party of his dream."
The party pony swung her hoof around dramatically.
"Oh, what does he like, what does he hold dearest?”
A banana guard scratched his head. “Uh, he kinda likes mushrooms for some reason? And his own face.”
"Perfect!"
Pinkie proceeded to jump to the kitchen where the feast was already underway. She hummed to the music as she took over the construction of a pizza, arranging the mushrooms on it into the shape of the King of Ooo’s face.
“Well, there’s the hands of the festival,
But the hooves need a pedestal!
Who or what could represent them the clearest?”
Gasping, Pinkie got an idea. She slapped a bunch of bell peppers in the shape of Celestia’s face on the next pizza, throwing it in with the King of Ooo’s for cooking. She quickly jumped back to the main hall, where the banana guards were tripping over themselves bringing ball supplies in. She took over for them, jumping around the hall at an alarming rate. Tables were set, food was arranged, and streamers were laced around the ceiling like a spider’s web.
Marceline chuckled, continuing to strum her bass. Her lines were once again supported by a chorus of banana guards
“She’s sure tryin’ it,
Down to the last bit,
A Festival of Hooves and Hands,
So impossible!”
“We’re just getting started!” Pinkie called, the music taking on a more regimented tone as she took a deep breath. “We need…
An excess of iced cake layers
Pin the tail on the pony players
More imported lemon candies
Some old Equestrian shanties
Your sweet syrup powerade
A new banana guard parade
Our festive alicorn pinata
And one ancient flute sonata
But last, and certainly not least…”
As she dragged out the last line and the music started to build up, the workers of the kitchen ran into the hall, a mix of banana guards and other candy people, carting with them fully cooked pizzas topped with the faces of several individuals. Mostly individuals of the candy kingdom, but Pinkie saw a few of the Princesses and even one of herself.
Pinkie grinned, taking one last breath. “...You can’t have a festival without the feast!”
Marceline strummed a power chord, bringing the singing to an end. “Wow… that was…” She looked around at the fully decorated hall filled with food, games, chairs, banners, and an unholy number of balloons. “That was impossibly fast…”
“What are you talking about?” Pinkie pointed out the window at an evening sun.
Marceline gawked at the sun’s position. “But—what!? We’ve only been doing this for a few minutes!”
“Nah, it’s been a couple hours. This sort of thing happens all the time in Equestria. Twilight calls it the Heartsong Montage Effect. I just call it ‘time flies when you’re singing your heart out!’ ”
Marceline glared at the sun for a few moments before shrugging. “Whatever. I’ve always known music had power.”
“And how! Now, for my next trick…” She swapped back into her deerstalker hat and pipe. “Investigation.”
“Of what?”
Pinkie sank to the ground like a cat, slowly approaching a group of banana guards who were talking among themselves. Somehow, not a single one of them noticed her approach, continuing to talk as if there wasn’t a pony predatorily approaching them.
“You think he’s gonna like this?” one of the guards asked, pointing at the mushroom pizza in the shape of his face.
“I think so,” another said.
“He won’t…” a third added. “You know how he’s been. It’s all about those pyramids outside. That’s all he cares about…”
“No, no, he ordered this party! I was here, he was really into it. Like, really into it.”
“He changes his mind every other day, now.”
Pinkie had lost track of which one was talking at this point. “Are you worried?”
“Wh-what? No!”
“He’s no threat, he’s just a waxman,” another guard continued.
“But what if he suddenly decided he likes dungeons?”
“Lemongrab wil—”
“You’re trusting Lemongrab to help!?”
“That’s ridiculous!”
“I prefer the King’s new voice to his screech any day…”
“I just want to guard in peace, y’know?”
“I’m pretty sure guarding isn’t supposed to be peaceful.”
“Yeah, but…”
Their conversation was interrupted by Toronto kicking in the doors. “All right, let’s see how worthless this party… is…” Toronto’s eyes widened as he took in the decorative pizzas, the balloons, the games, and the intricate banners.
“Do you like it, Toronto?” Pinkie said, rapidly stuffing her hat back in her mane. “I’m sure the King and the people will love it! Bringing Equestria and the Candy Kingdom together!”
“Maybe… maybe you can finally get him out of his funk!” Toronto pointed at the pizza with the King’s face on it. “Look at this! That’s exactly what he needs, yes! He’ll get his mind back to where it’s supposed to be and…” He noticed Pinkie staring at him. “What?”
“What’s wrong with the King…?”
“Nothing! Nothing at all!” Toronto huffed.
“Come on Toronto, I can help!” Pinkie beamed.
Toronto glared at her. “Nothing. Is. Wrong.”
Pinkie pursed her lips and tapped her hoof. “Well, all right, if you say so. Buuuuut I’ve got some flyers to put out for the Festival of Hooves and Hands! I could rely on word-of-mouth but flyers are, like, always better.”
Toronto relaxed visibly—now she was talking about something he understood: publicity. “I’ve got a great news distribution network just begging to be used. I’ll have them put it up everywhere. I’ll even organize a radio broadcast!”
“Great! Can we put some on those fancy new pyramids?”
“No!” Toronto shouted. “No, no, leave those completely alone. I’ll handle all the flyers.”
“Hmm…” Marceline floated in. “Are you scared, Toronto?”
“Yes, you’re five feet away from me!”
“No, it’s not me, not today…” She leaned in. “I know what that does to you. You’re scared of something else…”
Toronto turned and ran away. “I’ll be sure to get those flyers out! Don’t come looking for me!”
As soon as he was out of the hall, Pinkie put her hat and pipe back on. “Hmm… he’s afraid of the King, isn’t he?”
“Yes.” Marceline frowned. “They’re best friends, partners in crime. That doesn’t make any sense.”
“Now do you believe me that something’s up?”
“Fine, fine, maybe you’re right, maybe something is going on.” She folded her arms, thinking. “There was a weird yellow guy who took my picture a while back. I’d never seen him before.”
“The clues just keep piling up! C’mon, the party starts with the night, we only have a few hours to investigate!”
“Investigate where?”
“I have no idea… this way!” She bounced down a random hallway, deeper into the castle.
Marceline facepalmed. “Fine… We’ll do this randomly…”