A few days later, I surprised my crew with the ticket.
Corkscrew flew into the air. “A vacation? Woo!”
“Waity a Luna-damn minute,” Quick Draw stared me right in the face, “this isn’t a place where we work another one of your damn cases is it? Because if it is, not only am I not going, but I’m gonna stomp your--”
“Relax. This is a chance for us all to get away for awhile. I know you’ve been working hard, so I figured we could head to a resort.”
Quick tilted her head as she read the ticket a bit closer. “Uh...this place is for older ponies.”
I chuckled, “That’s what they want you to think. Turns out it’s a special resort affiliated with the same companies that run Las Pegasus. It’s advertised as a retirement community so foals won’t be interested.”
“What? Yoyoyoyo...no kids?!” Corkscrew started to dance in midair. “That’s the main reason why I don’t go out anymore. I can’t stand kids ruining everything.”
“Pff, you go out?” Quick Draw teased him with a raise of her hoof, “I thought you’d driven off every mare that you’d come in contact with.”
“Like you don’t do the same to every stallion.”
A low grumble came from Quick, but surprisingly, she gave a shrug instead, “Touche.”
“Now now, you two. This is our chance to relax and meet new ponies. Gain new experiences,” I went over to my filing cabinet, “We head out tomorrow. Is that okay with you both?”
Both my partners nodded.
“Sure, why not? Beats patrolling and getting nothing done around this place.”
“Yeah, I’m in!” Corkscrew swooped down, “But who’s gonna watch the place while we’re gone?”
I stood on my hind legs with my forelegs behind my back in a strategic sort of pose, “One step ahead of you, dear lad. You know our friend Flash Drive, stationed in the Empire?”
Quick tilted her head, “Yeah, but isn’t he busy? Like, he never drops his post for anything.”
“Exactly. That’s why I’ve invited his brother--come on out!” I turned around and pointed a hoof at the door with a grandiose expression.
That’s when he came in. A bat pony. Furry ears, fangs, slitted eyes. The works. He was a dull shade of navy blue, a burnt crimson mane, black eyes, and a magnifying glass for a cutie mark. His name?
“Neon Isotope at your service ladies and gents,” he stepped into our office. That Trottingham accent of his was rather smooth on the ears. Though I was surprised to see his front-right hoof had been replaced with a steam-powered prosthetic. A set of brass tubes that bent with hinges at a joint followed by a gold plated horseshoe to keep him balanced. “Old Vestige here said you were in need of my help to keep watch over your little abode.”
“Aw, thanks, sir! I see the Trottingham folks have really worked on their steam-enhanced weapons,” Cork said with admiration as he tapped the bat pony’s fake leg.
And he waved it around for us, “Yes, yes indeed. I can even feel things with it. It’s rather comforting, lads. Even though I lost me leg in the great war, I can still fight with the best of em!”
All the while, Quick Draw stood there with a rather pervasive stare. I suppose she had never seen a bat pony with a prosthetic before.
“Oh my gosh, he’s manly!”
Neon would extend his good off to her, “Good day, miss. We hear you’re one of the top members of the Agency with so many arrests made!”
“Uh...ah...haha, yeah!” She gave his hoof a shake...a rather awkward one, “It’s just...I’ve never seen one of your kind before.”
He retracted his leg, “Yes yes, I know. We fruit-lovers aren’t very common. But we get the job done. Ah, speaking of which--”
I nodded, “Don’t worry. There’s plenty of mangos, melons, and pears in our employee fridge.”
“Ah, wonderful, yes! Now go. All of you. Take some time off and let your superior handle the fort for a while.”
Cork had giggled at Quick’s flustered state for the past few minutes. “Oh, thank you sir. C’mon, QD!”
I gave a tip of my hat to the old-timer. He was fairly old-school in his way of thinking, but I respected it. “We’ll be gone for a few days. Don’t cause any trouble.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it!” he shouted as he waved us off.
And we all left. Out on the train to Silver Shoals. Or Seaward Shoals. The name was interchangeable. It was a simple train ride towards the coast.
We arrived at the small town, and took in the fresh air. Corkscrew flew high into the sky and Quick Draw drew in a big inhalation.
“Huh, not bad,” she said as she carried her bags off, “Maybe we can go for a swim?”
From up high, the pegasus stallion took a look over the horizon. “Ahh...yup. A perfect place to stretch the ol’ wings without having to worry about bumping into somepony.”
As trotted down to the lakeside plaza, I took note of just how quiet things were here compared to Ponyville. It made that little village seem like Manehattan by comparison.
Over near the main building…
“Sister! I have procured our turn to play checkers. Won’t you be so kind and--” Luna nearly dropped the clipboard she carried. “Well...it looks like he’s arrived.”
“Hm?” Celestia had her hair tied down in a bun for a more casual look. No fancy horseshoes or crown either. “Did you say something, Luna? I’m busy admiring myself.”
“The one I spoke of to you not long ago. He and his friends have arrived.”
The sun alicorn buried her face in the magazine she had been reading. “...Horse feathers. Please don’t tell me you want me to speak to him. You know how I get around regular ponies.”
“Tia, relax. It’s just a simple chat between two conflicting parties. If it helps, I will keep his friends distra--er, give them a tour so they can be more familiar. With their little vacation getaway.”
Celestia grumbled, “Hmph. Just how did they land this package anyways?”
“Yes, how indeed,” Luna said with a sassy, wry wink from behind her sister, “Anyhow. No point in dwelling on it. Today is hayburger night!” But her sister wasn’t persuaded. Not yet anyway. “I’ll put extra jalapenos on yours…” The moon princess added with a sing-song sort of tone.
“Hmmm…that does sound delicious. Fine. But only if you promise that we aren’t watching that stupid horror movie, Lunes.”
Luna scoffed and stomped her hoof, “Uh--b--stupid? I beg thy pardon! Mare of The Night on Elk Street is a top tier franchise!”
“How can you even say that? Its sole purpose is to make fun of your profession!” Celestia argued, “Going into ponies dreams to kill them? That’s ridiculous! Not to mention completely impossible.”
Luna simply giggled in response, “That, dear sister is what makes them so entertaining to watch. The acting is hilariously awful and the Mare of The Night herself is such a charismatic villain!”
Celestia rolled her eyes and flicked down a pair of shades. “To each their own, Luna. Now go intercept those Agent ponies.”
With a tiny smile, Luna levitated her sister’s shades away, “You’ll get these back once you speak to the youngling. Don’t get rough with him, now, alright~?” And before the sun pony could respond, she flickered and teleported across the resort.
“And we’re here,” I set our bags down in front of the building. “I suppose not much else to do except wait for--”
And we got a surprise visit from a former princess!
“Ah!”
“Greetings my little ponies! What be the hap? How’s that grind...?” Luna tried to speak like the ponies of today. She should stop. Now.
“Woah, Luna herself?” Cork landed before her and started to gaze around her form, “I’ve always wanted to meet you--outside of a dream that is.”
Quick gave an impressed whistle, “Well now that’s unexpected. I didn’t think Moonbutt would be here. Is Sunbutt here too?”
I shot the mare a look of disgust, and nearly opened my mouth to correct her, and yet, Luna didn’t mind at all. In fact, she laughed?
“Ohoho! Now that is an uncommon one,” her next sentence was spoken in a secretive whisper, “between you and I, her rear is rather large compared to mine. So the terminology is not inaccurate in the slightest. Given how large the sun is compared to the moon, hehehe.”
Well now. Once she had that crown off, Luna was an entirely different pony. And yet, still familiar. I liked that. Her casual demeanor allowed both Cork and Quick to laugh with her for a moment.
“I have taken it upon myself to show you two around this lovely little village.”
“Wait for real?” Cork asked, and looked at me, “But what about our homie Pale?”
“Oh don’t fret. My sister will tend to him, personally,” she looked at me with her nightmarish smirk from the other night. I shuddered at the thought of seeing her do it again. “That won’t be a problem will it, sir?”
I shook my head, “None. You two follow Luna, and we’ll catch up later alright?”
Cork nodded, completely smitten with the idea. That scamp. “Okay! I’ve always wanted to hang with a princess.”
As they followed the mare of the night, Quick would correct him. “She’s not a princess anymore, you nut. But you’re right, it’s so cool.”
I trotted in after them, and took our bags to our respective rooms. Once that was done, I took my time to locate the big white-coated mare with a sun cutie mark. Hopefully it wouldn’t take long--and there she was. Relaxing near the shore of one of the lakes.
Alright, let’s begin. I casually slipped outside and into the seat next to her. “Soo...nice weather we’re having?”
“Hello there,” she said lightly, her nose buried in a magazine, “and yes. The calm breeze and chirping birds are a rather nice combination to listen to.”
I put my hooves behind my head, “Indeed.” I allowed silence to linger between us for a while before I spoke up. “Alright, listen. Celestia. I know you don’t govern the land anymore. But even so, your stance on the matter is invaluable.”
She sighed and put the magazine down. “Why don’t we go for a walk, hm?” she rose from her seat and stretched her legs. Jeez, up close, they were super long. Probably easy to cramp up too.
“Sure, why not?” I shrugged and got up with her. She started to trot along the little dirt trail that surrounded the resort, and I followed after her.
“Pale Vestige...I’m sure you’re aware that Equestria is a place of long history rampant with conflict, right?”
“Yes...from Grogar to the pony races, to Discord to Nightmare Moon--” I stopped myself so that she could continue.
“Only very recently has Equestria known true peace,” she continued to explain, “as a result, many ponies have...fallen back into less than desirable habits. But even so, things are at there best right now.”
I turned my head and looked up at her as we kept moving, “So you want nothing to change? Is that the reason why you don’t want to see Cozy Glow brought back?”
It took her a moment to respond. “...Not quite. A common argument that gets brought up is the fact that individuals such as Trixie, Discord, and Starlight were all reformed. And Sunset as well, given the letters she sends me from her world.”
So she was aware of that? Good. I nodded, “I am. But why is it that you’re willing to extend all of them a helping hoof but not Cozy Glow? A child. Moreover, why was she immediately sent to Tartarus?”
“Somepony who could steal both mine and my sister’s magic is deemed too dangerous to be kept alive on the surface. That may sound harsh to you, but she clearly had no remorse for her actions. Therefore, we had no choice but to send her there.”
“Okay...fine.” I swallowed that pill for the sake of the next card I threw. “But I’m sure you’re aware that Discord was the whole reason she was able to escape, what with the false Grogar persona. It’s due to him and the way he manipulated those villains that they escaped, and how Cozy was able to subsequently work with Tirek and Chrysalis, and become the most powerful being in existence.” I stopped in place, my eyes shot daggers down the alicorn’s face, “How can you live knowing that you accidentally created your worst enemy due to your draconian style?”
She had also stopped. I could tell my words had pierced her skin in some way. Whether it was positive or negative, I had no clue. She shut her eyes. “...I...admit, that was somewhat callous of us. We neglected to consider that someone like Discord could enter Tartarus at will. That, I have no excuse for.”
“And yet you allow him to roam free. He caused all of that nonsense, and he’s still free?”
The alicorn opened her eyes and looked off to the side. There had to be a reason for her actions. I knew it. I waited patiently for her answer. “He is...his actions had reason that not many are aware of.”
WE INTERRUPT THIS TENDER MOMENT TO BRING YOU A SPECIAL MESSAGE!
The entire scene paused like a video playback.
“Cut!” Discord shouted from a director’s chair. “Ahem--yes, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation. Turns out Celestia is half-right. There’s actually a bit more that none of you were able to witness,” with a snap of his finger-claws, a memory began to play over the present.
Many years ago…
“Discord...I’m not mad...but what in the fresh flying Tartarus were you thinking?!” Celestia angrily berated the draconequus, her entire body nearly caught her throne ablaze in her rage.
“Calm yourself, Tia...you don’t want to put yourself in the hot seat do you?” Discord’s paw-hand pointed to the throne which began to smoke.
The alicorn’s rage blinded her as she screamed out. “Quiet! What sort of reasoning or excuse could you possibly give for setting loose some of the most dangerous individuals in Equestria?! You should be ashamed of yourself. I should’ve left you in that stone statue when I had the chance...”
It seemed like he was genuinely hurt byu the idea that he hadn’t changed. A dark rain cloud floated above his head. Discord suddenly donned a raincoat to fend off the barrage of droplets. “Hmph, well that’s rather harsh, isn’t it? I was only trying to show them the power of friendship through a lesson.”
Celestia wanted to hear this. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost for him. Yet. “You? Wanted to teach them the power of friendship? By letting them go?”
The chimera monster had an umbrella to compliment the coat to protect him from the rain. “Of course. I figured Twilight and her little friends would be able to get through to those three villains and show them the right path. I’m still rather inexperienced when it comes to this ‘friendship’ stuff. So I figured if I took a risk, it would pay off…” he slumped over with a sigh, “But I suppose it didn’t.”
The sun princess also sighed, and weighed the validity of what Discord said to her. Such a risky move could have benefitted them all if it was played out more tactfully. But it was Discord. Tact wasn’t in his vocabulary.
She zapped the rain cloud away with her magic. “Rise, Discord. Now that I know what your intentions were, I can carry out the next course of action.”
With the rain gone, Discord’s face lit up with sparkles as he gasped. “Ah! It’s true! You understood my plight and are willing to let me go?”
There was a demonic smirk on Celestia’s face. “Ohohoho. When did I ever say that?”
“There you are! You’re in big trouble, mister!”
With a horse-like bray, Discord turned around to see his one and only best, friend at the entrance to the throne room. “F-fluttershy?” She was not happy. In fact, one could say that she was rather annoyed.
“I heard every word,” she stomped over and stared the chaos being in the eyes, “You made a huge mistake enacting such a dangerous plan. What if my friends got hurt? Or worse?!”
His one true weakness. Discord started to stutter through his explanation. “I-I, no, no, no. Listen. I was only doing it for the good of--”
“Enough!” Fluttershy whistled and one of her bear friends came in to grab and restrain Discord. “You and I are going to spend a long time together discussing the nature of your powers, Discord. Just because you can use them in unimaginable ways to help your friends, doesn’t mean you always should.”
Celestia jumped in, “You are hereby under house arrest with Fluttershy for the next year. If you attempt to leave, we’ll know….with this.” With a flicker, a magical beeper device would appear on Discord’s horn.
He huffed, and allowed himself to be held hostage by the bear. There was no point in trying to escape. Fluttershy would just find him later anyway. “What? Just what did I do to deserve--oh, right. And if I refuse?”
“Oh I think Fluttershy will know just how to deal with you…”
The yellow mare was less aggressive now, and spoke with her usual caring tone of voice again. “That’s right. Now come on. We’re going to have a nice long chat over some tea, relax, and play games, then read stories to Angel!”
“Oh...phooey.”
Back to the present…
“And that’s how I learned that maybe some ponies, changelings, and centaurs just can’t change no matter how much friendship you offer them.”
A certain yellow pegasus cleared her throat.
“Ugh...and that my powers aren’t to be abused. Luckily she doesn’t know that I’ve essentially hit pause on the world--”
“I HEARD THAT.”
Discord frantically reached for a remote to engage playback once more. Once he did, he feverishly pressed play. “Eeek! Uh, back to the show, everypony!”
“DISCORRRRRD!”
TRANSMISSION END.
I looked left, then right. What a strange sensation I just felt. No matter. The explanation the princess provided was so...vivid. It was like I was actually there. It caused conflicted feelings within me. “I...so that misguided creature claimed he did it for the sake of friendship...and you believed him?”
“I had no reason to doubt Fluttershy’s knowledge of Discord will aid him in his control of his abilities.”
Something about this didn’t sit right with me. I had to tell it like it was. “And you gave him another chance, even trusted him with one of Twilight’s closest friends. But Cozy? What did she get? I’m sorry, but this smells of bias. Complete, emotion-fueled bias. What kind of leader makes these kinds of decisions?”
She paused. I could tell my words struck a chord with her. I couldn’t tell if she was surprised to hear someone say something like that to her face, or if she was ready to toss me to the moon. “You really think the reason I allow Discord to draw breath is due to emotions?” her voice grew cold, and slowly grew in strength with each word that passed from her lips, “You dare assume that I wouldn’t put the safety of my little ponies above my own desires? Sister and I were the ones who imprisoned him in the first place! And then, when she grew bitter and lost herself to the darkness, I had to send her to the moon for the safety of herself and everyone alive! Followed by Tirek, and all those who continued to threaten the lives of my kin.”
I blinked. Never did I imagine the alicorn princess could get so...aggressive. I pegged her for a passive figurehead that did whatever she pleased on a whim. I suppose I was wrong in this regard. But I stayed silent. I wanted to hear her perspective.
“For those one-thousand years Luna was gone, I had to manage the Sun and Moon all by myself. And continue to orchestrate harmony through Equestria with twice the workload and half the hooves. It was torture,” she sat down in the grass as she further recounted her past, “everypony always assumes living the life of a princess is easy. But it isn’t. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have to put on a false image to maintain the appearance of someone who always knows what they’re doing so everyone’s faith is put at ease?”
What a shocker. I decided to take a seat next to her in the grass, “...Yes. I do, actually.”
“What?”
Damn. What was I doing? I was comparing myself to a being who probably existed for thousands of years longer than I could ever hope. But it was too late to turn back at this point. I couldn’t bear to look at her, though. My face was hidden beneath my hat. “...As a colt, I was rowdy, rambunctious. Regularly acted out to hide myself behind a fake name and fake ponysona of a boar. One who enjoyed violence. I was born into it, molded by it. In the end, I led a small army of kids my age into a street war that nearly destroyed us all. Nobody taught me the ABCs, or how to read, or the powers of friendship. I played on the hard concrete. My entire life was rummaging through trash on the streets for my next meal.”
Aw, shit. Dammit. Not again. My emotions are getting away from me. But I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to quit not.
“So I think I know very well what it’s like to grow up living with no one to care for my feelings. That’s why I had to harden them over the years. But now...in my line of work, I feel a personal duty to ensure what happened to me doesn’t happen to anyone else. That is why I want to save Cozy Glow.”
A long, awkward silence lingered between the both of us. I had kept my face hidden due to the fact that I shed tears. Something that was both rare and embarrassing for someone like me. I refused to display my vulnerability out of...fear. Dammit. It’s a vicious cycle!
“?” I felt something. Something soft and feathery. Turns out the alicorn used one of her wings to wipe away my tears.
“Pale...I had no idea. I’m actually rather grateful that you would take your time to explain your stance. Now I have a better understanding.”
I didn’t know how to respond to this. She didn’t explicitly state she agreed, however I was happy that she was a compassionate soul. “Uh...thank you?”
“In fact…now that you’ve taken the time to explain your pain,” she rose from her spot on the grass, “Do you wish to understand my true pain?”
I moved my hat out of the way so I could properly look at her. That was a generous offer. Maybe if I did take time to understand Celestia better, she would do the same for me. I imagine that it was hard for someone in her position to be taken seriously by someone who wasn’t her former student.
“Your...pain?”
She nodded, “It’s...a side of myself that I have closed off from everypony out of fear for their safety. But...I think it would present a nice challenge for you.”
A challenge? If that’s what she decided to present me with, so be it. This was a vacation for my two crew members after all. Me? I worked non-stop. “Alright...I accept.”
With a flicker of her horn, she teleported us both to her room in their new home. It was just a short hop away from the main resort. Inside, it was rather massive. Bright red velvet carpeting, sun patterned wallpapers, and curtains of stars. Perfect for somepony as large as she was. The entire room was the half size of a house on its own with a massive bed/throne on one side, a massive TV on the other. Just...massive everything. Her room also had loads of decorations dedicated to musical sensations including Vinyl Scratch and the Ponytones. A messy bookshelf, and a dirty pile of saddles in the laundry.
“Wow I’m impressed…?”
She giggled, “Don’t deny it. I’m a bit of a slob like everypony else can be. It’s fine if you think that way.”
I laughed and scratched the back of my head, “Heh...right. So...what is it that you wanted to show me?”
Her smile turned into a distant frown fairly quickly, “I...in addition to all the weights I have shouldered over the thousands of years I’ve been around. There’s been...something else within me. Something that stirs, and is powered by my unbridled frustration and rage…” she turned around.
“And that would be…?”
The doors suddenly locked, and the room suddenly had a magical barrier around it. “Brace yourself.”
I felt the room start to heat up. Her tail and mane began to smoke. I was concerned, but was ready to brave this challenge.
Outside, at the resort…
“Wow, that Cherry Jubilee lady was super cool!” Corkscrew munched on a few cherry tarts.
“Tch,” Quick Draw gave an annoyed scowl, “I wonder why she gave you so many more.”
“What can I say? Ladies love me. Because I have a winning personality, unlike someone,” he teased as he swallowed another bundle of the treats. The earth pony mare simply growled.
Luna nudged her with a hoof, “Don’t worry. She’s always a bit more sweet on the stallions than the mares. It’s no big deal, really. Now, next stop on our tour will be the small villa that sister and I have--”
A sudden shout from Luna and Celestia’s home, disturbed the former night princess.
“OH YEAH! I’M BACK. And hotter than ever! Come hither, young stallion. Let’s see if you can handle me…”
Luna froze. Her mouth was agape and her cheeks turned a shade of red. Neither Quick Draw nor Corkscrew dared to disturb her.
“....”
After a long and worrisome silence, Luna snapped out of her stupor. “...You two, get back inside. You didn’t hear a thing, under--”
She didn’t have to say anything more. The two ponies raced inside as soon as they were given the order.
“Looks like our buddy Pale’s got himself stuck in a hot pocket, huh?” the pegasus said with a cackle as they ran back inside.
Quick sighed. “I’d slug you...but that was kinda funny. I can’t hate.”
“...Let’s snoop after her. It’s our job, after all.”
“...Gah, I hate it when you make good points and ideas. C’mon…”