//------------------------------// // Subject 12: Mysterious Bearings and Idle Chatter // Story: Interviews With Equestrians // by Jmaster49 //------------------------------// “Get behind it,” I readied my blaster to fire again, and the young stallion nodded. I fired a few highly compressed shots of soundwaves at the beast and successfully drew its attention. It started to charge at me. This would allow Pumpkin to snag the paper via levitation. “Got it. Give me a minute…” Now she would be busy with her job to decipher the runes. I sincerely hoped she was as good as magic as she said she was. And I also hoped her brother was as dependable. “Hey! Hurry up! This thing is about to have my flank!” I shouted, and ran as fast as I could. The bugbear’s roar like a giant oven that heated the rear side of my body in preparation for consumption. “I got this. Like a video game…” The stallion swooped in, the hammer made of cloud clenched tightly within his hooves as he rounded for a powerful swing, “I’m playing it!” CLANG! Incredible! I didn’t think it was possible, but the hammer made of clouds actually struck as hard as a real one would have. Not only that, but it dazed the bugbear for a moment, its face as flat as the side of the hammer it was struck with. “Ha! Gottem!” “...So you can alter the density of clouds and shape them into weapons? How exemplary…” “Ha! These kinds of clouds are made special from the factory. No need to thank me--wah!” The beast grabbed him with its four arms. I panicked and prepared to charge the animal, but once more, Pound Cake was unafraid, “Don’t hit it! I got this!” He ‘reloaded’ with another bit of cloud tucked under his wings that he crafted into a baseball bat. “Here it is!” WHACK! A vicious smack from the cloud bat resulted in Pound being released from the monster’s grip as it took a tumble. “Whoo, I’m battin’ a thousand!” I had no idea what he just said. “Um...whoo?” “Just gotta hit him like this two more times. It’s how all the bosses work.” Yet again, I had no clue what he meant. “What?” “Just lemme take the lead on this one, gramps.” Meanwhile, Flurry was high in the sky. She observed the ground within a mile’s radius since that was the physical distance limit one would have to constraint themselves to in order to keep this spell active. “Where could you be…” She cast a force dome around the perimeter. The culprit wouldn’t be able to escape even if they wanted to. However, she had to be careful now. “Okay...that’s two top-tier spells...I only have one more. Stupid magic cap…” She hung her head in disappointment. She blinked. Something moved along the forest floor. “Aha…” Flurry, now having reverted to her normal form, would land and trot around the trees, using her magic to give them a light shake. “Peek-a-boooo…” Unbeknownst to her, someone had managed to sneak behind her. They fired off a magic blast! Luckily, she reflected with an automatic force field that went up to keep her safe. “Ha! Dad’s spell actually came in handy this time! Alright, perp. Show yours--” They immediately turned tail and ran. “Oh no you don’t! Get back here!” Her horn activated, and engaged an attraction spell. Gravity, that is. The culprit would be pulled back to her by force with no way of escaping. Or so she thought. Until they activated a gravity spell of their own which nullified Flurry’s! The result stunned her for a second. “Damn. That was my last one!” With no other options, she chased the individual down with raw flight. “Woah!” I leapt out of the way at the last possible second and fired a controlled soundwave into its face, which forced it back a few yards. “Yes. A clean strike.” Pound used his feathers to fling clouds that were shaped into ninja daggers. “Okay gramps you gotta tell me where you got that.” “It’s a miniature version of the 115 Thundergun--beyond that, I’m not allowed to say, kid.” “Pff, figures.” The flurry of cloud knives didn’t do as much damage as the blunt weaponry and only served to agitate the insectoid bear even further. It flew into the air, with its stinger at the ready. “Get down!” As that one bit of dialogue from the book stated, the bugbear would begin to shoot its projectile venom at us. Globs of purple goo that looked a bit like jelly. But I knew how bad normal bee venom was. This would likely cause swelling, itching, and--that was it! “Right here!” “Old man, are you crazy?!” I slipped my hoof through the lever and cocked it, “Watch this, son,” I assured him right before I fired it. The soundwave sent the bear’s own venom right back at it. “GRAAAAAGH!” It started to itch and swell from its own venom as it soaked into its fur. Now it would be too busy scratching to properly attack us. “Yes! How’s that for an old timer?” Pound shrugged as he hovered in the air, “Not bad.” That’s when his sister finally spoke up. “Okay! It’s done!” She waved the piece of paper around with her magic, “The runes are all undone. You just need to lead her back into the page!” “Her?” “Duh, only girl bees can sting. Didn’t you listen in Biology class, Pound?!” “I was too busy in Graphic Design for that!” I clapped my hooves, “Ahem! Let’s go with the plan! And pray to Cadence that your marefriend has found the creep that caused this…” She was getting closer. “I have you now! You’re not getting away!” The edge of the dome she had erected was in sight. There was no way anypony could break through that. It was an alicorn dome! “AW, COME ON!” Except they did just that. Somehow, some way, her enemy had tore a hole through the dome and escaped. But not completely unscathed. Flurry noticed something along the jagged edge of the dome where it had been broken out of. “A...cloth?” She picked it up with her hoof, and sniffed it. Then she turned it over to find a letter. “...Hmmm…” “Alright, bro. You got it?” The gold unicorn held the paper aloft like a target, excited as she hopped in place. “We’re ready...now...run!” The pegasus and I both ran away from the beast, which made it chase after us directly. Blindly. It was almost a thrill I could enjoy, if it weren’t for the potentially venomous stinger that looked ready to fire at us again. “Shiiiit!” I screamed as we both dove into the bushes behind Pumpkin. The bugbear was promptly sucked into the page, right back where it belonged. “Yes! Eeee! I can’t wait to add this to my next chapter!” “Yeah we’re fine,” Pound groaned as he spat out dirt, “Thanks for askin’.” “I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” the sister comforted her brother with healing magic. “You know you’ll always be my top priority.” Meanwhile, I was impressed with the sheer degree of magical prowess she displayed at such a young age. “Pumpkin, was it? Just how did you manage to undo summoning runes? Isn’t that a high-level spell?” “Hm? Oh I’ve always been a prodigy at magic or whatevs. Mom and dad say they wanna enroll me in the School for Gifted Unicorns but I denied it.” “How come?” “There’s three problems with that.” She had conjured a duster to clean her brother off, “For one, it’d be too expensive. They’d have to work extra hard to shave off that debt. Two, mom and dad are getting...errr...aged. They need as much help as they can get around the bakery. Pinkie’s invincible but she works whenever she wants it seems. I nodded. Twas a shame she couldn’t pursue what she wanted, but noble that she stuck by her family. “And the third?” “The most important one: Somepony has to keep watch over this nutcase and make sure he does his chores,” she put a hoof around Pound’s neck. To which he gave a rebuttal, “What she means is that she’d be too stressed out and needs me to help her relax.” They both took a mean look at each other before it turned into laughter. It was always nice to see two siblings get along for a change. That’s when Flurry flew back in, “I have good news and bad news.” The twins stopped so they could liste, “Bad news is that our burglar pony got away. Good news is that they left something behind.” She levitated a piece of fabric into my hoof. It felt like satin and had a gold trim. I flipped it over and saw it had the letter ‘A’ on it. “Hm. Some kinda emblem, maybe?” “No idea. But I think we scared the perp off. No more books will be taken from here on.” “That’s good,” Pumpkin commented, “We sure wouldn’t want Princess Twilight to have to come down here.” “But I wonder what it could mean,” Pound said as he took a look at the piece I held. “Alright, alright,” I put it in a plastic bag and tucked it into my vest as evidence. “What’s important now is that you two get home before your parents do.” Flurry agreed with a nod, “Yup. Don’t worry. I’ll shoulder the responsibility. It was my idea to bring them out here anyways. Cakes, you go on ahead. I’ll catch up.” “Hey wait, I need to know more about that Thundergun!” Pound’s protests fell on deaf ears when Pumpkin levitated him into the air, “Some other time, bro! Can’t you tell the princess is busy?” “Aw come on!” “Don’t you and the guys have a game or something to get to?” He blinked as he remembered his plans. “Oh yeah! Hey, hurry up!” I chuckled and waved as they departed, now it was just me and the Heart Princess. “What did you want to speak about.” “That has to be some kind of insignia,” she explained with a worried look in her eye, “I’m not sure who it could belong to, but it’s entirely possible you were led out here with the intent to harm. I dunno who, but it could be someone against your ideas.” “I see...well don’t worry. I’ve been knocked down before.” She smiled, “That’s good. And as thanks for keeping Pound Cake safe, take this,” she pulled something out of her mane. A golden ticket. An express pass to Silver Shoals Resort. Surprising for sure. But the only way she could’ve found out about that was… “Woah...hey wait a minute. Were you able to hijack my dream?!” “Maaaaybe?” she responded with a half-hearted grin. A generous offer I couldn’t refuse. This was my only method of getting to meet with the Princess of the Sun in a reasonable way. So I took it. “I...appreciate this, Flurry.” “Don’t mention it. Seriously. I’ve got enough trouble at home.” She giggled and changed herself back to her disguised Pegasus form with glasses, “Well, I’m headed back. I’ll go tell the pony at the bookstore what happened. See ya!” She took off and waved as she left. Maybe they weren’t so uptight after all, these alicorns. But I had yet to meet the oldest and biggest--the alicorn of the sun. So I had to reign in my expectations for now. Even so, that cloth with a letter ‘A’ on it was worrying. What could it stand for? What could it mean? Horse apples. This was meant to be my day off. Why did it have to devolve into more tactical brain usage? I went back. Once I returned home, I grabbed a lawn chair and placed it in my front yard. I was determined to relax and calm myself down off of the stress I had experienced through all the combat and watching the children. Yeesh, I would not make a good foalsitter. I flopped, and put some headphones in to listen to music. Unfortunately, I could not get a moment’s rest, as my favorite teacher in the world trotted up to greet me. “Mr. Pale! Hello!” I removed the ear buds, “Ah, Ms. C. How are things going?” “Great, actually. Spoiled Rich and the Mayor both agreed to fund the Earth Pony-centric lessons, and Tree Hugger has offered her services as a teacher! We’re making loads of progress!” How nice. It was beautiful to witness these ponies try something new for a change. “Well isn’t that nice?” “Yes! Well, except for one teensy little detail.” “Hm?” “We need approval from the Education Association to enact these lessons. As well as Princess Twilight. But well...we’re nervous,” her ears dropped. “Nervous? Why?” “Because, something like this has never been opened before. We’re not sure if they would agree.” I felt that. It was always very scary when you presented new ideas to those above you. I decided to accommodate the schoolteacher like she had done for me many times before. I retrieved a second lawn chair from inside, and placed it next to my own. “Here, Cheerilee. Take a load off with me.” “Oh, you’re too kind, thank you.” She accepted, and sat on the chair next to me, “So anyway, we’re not really sure how Twilight and the Board would react.” “Makes sense to have that sort of fear. Ponies naturally fear the unknown or unfamiliar. A new idea like this would take some time,” I put my hooves behind my head. Then I suddenly had an idea. “But what if...we could run the idea by a different princess to get an idea of what Twilight would say?” She shot me a confused look, “Huh?” “Maybe if...I could potentially speak to Celestia and run it by her, then it could make things smoother.” “What?” Her eyes shot open, “Would you do that? I wouldn’t want to trouble you…” I shrugged. “Hey, I was the one that sorta suggested it to you, didn’t I? If anything, I should bear that responsibility of presenting the new ideas to them.” “Oh no, no, no!” She waved her hooves back and forth, “There’s no need for that, sir!” “Relax, Ms. C. She’s the next pony on my list that I intend to talk to anyways.” I thought about that golden ticket that was tucked into my vest. “It’s just another day for me, really.” Her worried expression turned into a sad, then hopeful one as she heard my words. “I...well, if you’re sure. Thank you so much for your efforts. And I do hope your pleas for Cozy Glow are heard.” “It ain’t nothing for a stallion of the law such as myself,” I turned to the side of the chair and rose to my hooves, “Would you like some tea? I’ve been brewing it more instead of coffee lately since you’ve got me hooked on the stuff.” “I know, right?” her face lit up in agreement, “coffee is great and all, but as you get older, it stains and slowly rots your te--” “..eeth!” I finished her sentence and we both laughed. “I know. I’m getting on in years also. But the last thing I want is my smile to be destroyed. Which kind would you like? I even have the rock tea straight from crystalized Empire leaves.” “Ooh!” She clapped her hooves, “Let’s try it. And then we can start talking about our newer experiences that we’ve gained as we age!” A topic like that? This teacher was certainly full of surprises. “What? Did you and the Mayor have that talk, and now you want to hear a stallion rant about his aging problems too?” I snickered into my hoof as she stuttered out a response, “W--hey! It’s a completely valid topic! I don’t hear what stallions have to say very often.” “I joke, I joke. I’ll be right back with the tea.” As much as I wanted to deny it, she was right. The experiences of stallions and mares as they aged were a bit different. And given the sheer amount of mares that were around, I imagined it was hard to have a male friend explain his perspective of life as well as his woes. So I did, I returned to Cheerilee with hot tea, and we sipped it as we discussed our problems. How much we didn’t understand current generation video games, the trouble understanding the language of younger ponies, and how young stallions felt pressured to find mares by their peers since there were just so many. “...and don’t even get me started on the high school dance! There were so many of us girls that we had to constantly rotate partners! The Mayor and I felt so awkward.” “I can feel that. At my school, we simply had a dance-off among the mares and stallions and the winners of both would be named king and queen of the floor.” She gasped, “Didja win?” I thought about it for a second, “Nope. I wasn’t much of a dancer. Got four left hooves. But it was fun to stumble around while I did what I thought was dancing.” We both laughed again. Huh. This felt good. I needed to do this more frequently.