//------------------------------//
// Bouquet Buddies 
// Story: Books, Bats, and Bad Mojo 
// by Yuri Petrovitch 
//------------------------------//

Desmond wasn't nervous, why would he be? All Tulip had said was that he was getting a visitor soon, someone that admittedly hadn't left with the greatest of impressions on him.

Still, with nothing better to do than to contemplate his current predicament the human turned... horse abomination could only think of all the worst scenarios. None of the outlandish possibilities seemed so far fetched when you've already been turned into a miniature unicorn after all. 

Okay, scenario one: I'm stuck in some sort of VR simulation, like what happens in an anime or something sci-fi. This idea was shelved almost immediately, as Desmond couldn't have ever afforded to buy something so costly while he was indebted to the mob.

Here's probability numero dos: I've been abducted by aliens, where they're experimenting on my mind and body to see how a human would react to being placed in one of their bodies. This seemed a bit more plausible, though from every interaction with the creatures they seemed to have not a clue about Humanity or they were playing dumb, and if they were they were professionals at it. However, the level of technology in the room suggested at a civilization only coming into the mid twentieth century, they still used Nixie tubes on their machinery and an unused
CRT TV hung in the far corner of the room.

Brain storm three: I'm actually dead and this is some weird purgatory. In which case I'm already fucked and doomed to an eternity of this nonsense. The crack in his noggin would corroborate this theory, as well as the faint memory of a ton of books falling on him; but then what would the point of a hospital in the afterlife?

I'm going to put that down as a strong 'Maybe', since they did strap me down to this bed and haven't been the nicest spirits. Yet, I thought there would be more fire and brimstone in hell from what the Bible said... I wish I still had Mom's Rosary for a time like this.

That was another thing to take into account, none of his stuff was with him in the hospital, not his bag or even his clothes had made it with him. When asked about it Tulip just shrugged and said he was in his birthday suit when they had brought him into the emergency room. Not something Desmond wanted to think about too much... Fortunately he had been fitted with a patient's gown and the bed sheets helped cover his dignity up.

That was another thing being trapped here in Pony Purgatory, the fact that everyone seemed to be perfectly fine with going full nudist, it bothered the human quite a bit. The fur and tails hid most of it, but all the 'equipment' under the hood was still the same. There was probably some sort of social etiquette about not staring at someone's ass... or maybe there was none since every one of the ponies had tattoos on their rumps. 

It confused Desmond more than he'd like to admit, at least he didn't find any of them weirdly attractive, now that would have been a fresh slice hell.

"-llo. Equestria to Mr.Notapony," a pink hoof waved in front of his eyes, Des blinked a few times before his brain registered that he wasn't alone anymore. Looking down a familiar vermilion bob cut mare sat with her trademark deadpan stare. "I was nearly worried we'd lost you there. Nearly."

Desmond rolled his eyes, at least he wouldn't have to worry about growing any feelings for this little rude thing. "Can't seem to have a moment to myself these days without someone ruining it by thinking I've kicked the bucket." 

"Well don't do so just yet, Jubilee would be rather upset if her new pen pal trotted in to find you croaked from boredom."

Glancing at the analogue wall clock found that it was late in the evening, most of the hospital would have closed down for the night by this point, leaving only the night shift staff and most of the patients to rest.  "That time already, huh?"

"Yes, now sit still, I'm going to undo those restraints." Beyond what would normally be possible with without fingers the pastel pink creature manipulated the straps on either side of the bed until they were loose, "In return I want you on your best behavior around Jubilee and her pen pal."

Relief came as blood circulated unimpeded though the stubby limbs, Des rubbed the red marks that were left behind, "You didn't have to tie me up in a tourniquet like that, I could have lost more than just my hands you know."

The mare rolled her eyes, it wasn't the first time she had heard the story of being a "Human" or whatever, it was all the cracked unicorn would talk about some days. "Also, no talk of being anything other than a pony, I don't want you freaking out my friend and your visitor while she's here. I hear she's real skittish, so... Act less like a jerk and you'll be fine, I think."

"I make no promises about the second thing, but I'll mind my p's and q's, have some faith."

Tulip looked like she was about to say something but a knock by the door stopped her short.

Normally visitors weren't allowed in past sundown to keep the noise down, but somehow Jubilee had worked some paperwork magic to get this visit approved. So it was no surprise when the other nurse popped inside the room, though her shadow seemed to be a bit larger than usual.

Tulip actually smiled for once as she saw her friend arrive, "Hey Bloom, did you bring the goods?" This seemed like an entirely different mare than the sharp mouthed one a moment earlier, which only led credence to the man's feeling the nurse was only sour when dealing with him.

Her friend giggled back at the pink earth pony, "She's not some 'goods'," the unicorn chided, "Melody is here for her scheduled visitation. She's a sensitive soul, so don't start acting up around her."

"Yes Mom, I'll play nice," Tulip mocked pouting like a foal for about a second before both mares burst into a fit of giggles. 

Desmond watched the exchange with a curious fascination, it was one of the few time's he'd seen any of these creatures interact so casually. At a glance, or maybe had they been human, they would have seemed to have been close good friends. 

"Who are you and what have you done with Nurse Tulip?" Des found himself quietly asking himself.

Evidently not quiet enough as Tulip's ears flicked backwards at the whisper. Over her shoulder she fixed the bed bound invalid with her usual glares, "Don't you worry Sweety, I'll be back in the morning before this witchpony spell wears off, you better prepare yourself then."

Jubilee playfully kicked a hoof into her friend's shoulder, "Quit it already will ya? I've reserved some hayburgers in the fridge, but you might want to hurry before Dr.Featherstien decides to takes his midnight snack break a little early!"

"That Cloudsdale clodbrain always eats stuff that ain't his..." Tulip pulled a face as she thought about the notorious fridge thief, she turned to Des before she left the room, "Don't try anything while I'm gone, or else..."

The sound of hoofsteps echoed in the darkened hallway until they disappeared entirely. Nurse Jubilee turned her focus to the main tenant of the room, and the only current patent, "Sorry about Tulip, I know she can be a bit... Rough."

Desmond shrugged his shoulders, "Eh, it's no biggie. She seems more bark than bite."

The look the light blue unicorn had was that of... Sympathy? She rubbed the back of her neck while not meeting his eyes. "Yeah. Um, I don't think she'll appreciate me saying so, but I did grow up with her on the same block; back then she often put ponies into the hospital rather than putting them out of them." Des gulped as he recalled the look Tulip sometimes wore when she was upset with him, Maybe I'll try not to cross her too much in future. 

"Ah, I almost forgot myself there, where are my manners? My name is Blooming Jubilee, one of the nurses here during the night," The teal pony smiled brightly once more, she moved away from the door and closer towards the bed, her 'shadow' not straying far behind. "We've met once before, but I don't think you'd be able to remember that, Dr.Greenline hit you with a real whooper of a tranquilizer back then."

Meeting her smile with as polite a gesture he could Des replied in kind, "Likewise, a pleasure to meet you. My names Desmond Mallory. Glad to see there's at least someone here that's not all business or... Whatever Tulip is."

The pony looked like she was trying to parse the name in her mouth, "Derert Moundy?"

"Haha, not quite. I know you ponies seem to have names that are tied to either a noun or an adjective, but mine's just... Well mine? Hard to explain I suppose. If you'd like just call me Des, it's what my friends used to call me."

The single syllable seemed to be more comfortable for the nurse as she too right to it, "Alright, Des it is!"

"Well, that's one of you, but I heard that the Thestral from the other night was here with you..." the shadow clinging to the other side of the nurse had vanished completely, "S-she did come in with you, right?"

The rattling of a wicker basket being put down came from behind Desmond, causing him to nearly jump right out of his skin at the unexpected direction it came from. There on the opposite side of the bed sat a wooden basket filled with purple and white flowers along with a few other goods nestled inside.

"H-haha, you got me good there," Des turned on Jubilee, he felt sweat start to drip down his khaki fur coat, "Did Tulip sneak back in when I wasn't looking?"

Jubilee giggled from behind her hoof, apparently enjoying the scene unfold. "Nope, those are from our guest this evening." The teal nurse pointed a hoof straight up, "She's over there."

The man jerked his head upwards and screamed.

There on the ceiling in a dark corner stood upside down a creature from a Stephen King novel; bright yellow cat eyes peered down at him, shining even in the gloom. Long black hair fell from its head like a curtain, making it resemble making it resemble Sadako. Large leathery wings sprung out to either side of its 
inky grey fur, possibly in response to the high pitched noise.

Desmond inhaled for another scream that definitely was not effeminate or girly, no matter what Jubilee might say to the contrary, when a hoof was jammed in his gaping mouth. The nurse looked a bit cross, but more annoyed than mad, "Oh hush, I know how you feel but there are other patients that need their sleep, so keep it down. Alright?" Only after she received a quick nod from a teary eyed unicorn did she remove her hoof from his mouth. She tasted like hand sanitizer and blueberries.

Nurse Jubilee looked back up to the shadow on the ceiling and waved her hoof, "It's alright you can come down now, he's just a little jumpy." The blonde mare side glanced back to Des and giggled behind her hoof once more, "Plus he doesn't bite, too hard at least." 

A red heat broke out across Des's cheeks, but the protest he was about to make quickly died on his lips when the creature above him started to move.

With a flutter of wings the bat pony gracefully jumped from the ceiling. A short spiral through the air and she land near the foot of the bed, partly out of sight. From over the edge of the baseboards two large golden orbs framed by neatly trimmed bangs peered over at Desmond.

Jubilee waltzed on over to sit casually next to the creature, "I'd like to introduce you to somepony Des. She was actually the first pony to come to your rescue when you hit your head, and she's got a few things she'd like to say to you."

The nurse lightly patted the pewter grey mare on the shoulder. She even bent down and whispered something into an ear, causing the little tuff on the end to flicker. Curiosity was beginning to win out inside Desmond's head, as he leaned in a bit to try and catch a word that the two were sharing. He didn't need to wait long as the spooky looking pony nodded back up to the taller mare with a smile.

What came next surprised the man a fair bit, as he finally could hear what the mare sounded like, and it didn't match her foreboding outward appearance at all. "Upmm... H-hello. My name is Melody Bluebell." If there was a way to describe the notes in her quiet voice it would be in soft, gentle, and silvery. There were parts were her nervousness caused her voice to crack and hitch upwards. 

It took a moment before Des could reply, briefly caught off guard by the difference in Melody's clashing characteristics. "W-Well, it's a... It's nice to meet you Melody. I'm sure you heard earlier, but my names Desmond, or Des if it's easier for you."

The teal unicorn beside her gave her an encouraging expression, as if a parent trying to be supportive of their kid. The company seemed to help the Thestral out as she found the courage for what she wanted to get off her grey furred chest. This time she raised her voice loud enough so the whole room could hear.

"I-I'm here to apologize f-for what I've done to you. I'm s-so sorry!"