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// I Wonder If I Could Come Home 
// Story: First Day Of My Life 
// by I-A-M 
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Wallflower Blush







I really wish I was enjoying myself.
It’s not that prom is bad, but it is very… very loud. Everyone is talking, music is playing really loudly from somewhere, and Sunset is talking to what feels like every single person in the school.
And not one of them recognises me.
I think I’ve been asked about thirty times which school I go to, and with each one Sunset gets more and more agitated. She always brushes it off with a smile and a laugh, but I can see it getting to her.
I’m not saying this was a bad idea but…
“Sorry,” I say quietly as we reach the drinks table.
We’d shuffled our way awkwardly through a few dances, but I always froze up every time Sunset tried to go faster than a back-and-forth sway. The whole time I kept inwardly cursing at myself for letting my nerves get the best of me, but it was never enough for me to get past them and actually dance with Sunset.
“For what?” Sunset asks, and I can hear the tension in her voice.
Clearly she had wanted to dance, but I knew it wasn’t just that.
“The others.” I nod back to the crowd. “I’m sorry you’re getting mad.”
“Wallie…” Sunset sighs and grabs a couple of red solo cups and doles out some punch for both of us. “Look it’s… I’m just annoyed, okay? They shouldn’t—”
She cuts herself off and sighs as she hands me the punch. I can hear the heat rising in her voice. I appreciate her trying not to raise her volume, though. I don’t do well with that kind of thing.
I fidget with my cup for a moment and shrug.
“No one remembers me.” I look out at the crowd again and wilt back. “It’s just the kind of person I am… invisible.”
Most people have already forgotten me. After high school, everyone will have forgotten. Even Sunset will forget about me once she goes off to do whatever amazing things she’s going to do.
I’m Wallflower Blush.
The Forgotten Girl.
“You’re not invisible to me,” Sunset says as she lifts the cup to her lips, then pauses. “I like looking at you.”
Those last five words catch me off guard more than anything else as Sunset takes a long drink of her punch.
She… She likes looking at me.
That makes me happy at least. I smile as I start to lift the cup to my lips and—
Sunset turns and slaps the cup from my hands sending it flying and the contents spilling wildly. People around us cry out and I jerk, letting out a strangled scream as I drop to my knees and curl my arms protectively over my head as panic grips and tightens around my chest.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”
I stare up at Sunset, shaking and shocked. She’s standing— no, looming— over me. Her eyes are wide and furious. Everything about her is blazing and tense.
I’ve seen a lot of faces on Sunset Shimmer’s face, but never that kind of absolute, naked rage.
I did something. I don’t know what I did but I had to have!
Sunset’s features soften an instant later, transmuting from rage into pain and grief and sorrow as she looks down at me.
“Oh, Written’s Quill, Wallie I’m so sorry, I just…” she starts to shake, her mouth twisting as she spits on the ground and wipes at her mouth before turning to the punch bowl and glaring.
Then she turns to the crowd and all but snarls at them.
“What’re you looking at?!” She snaps.
I turn and look behind us.
Everyone around us is staring wide-eyed at both of us.
Sunset goes to a knee and reaches out a hand.
“Wallie, please I… I’m so sorry, but I had to,” Sunset says quietly. “Someone… someone spiked the punch.”
My stomach wrenches and turns violently as I stare at her, then I turn my gaze to the empty red cup that’s rolling lazily away from me, spilling the remainder of the juice out across the floor.
Spiked punch.
Some had poured—
I’d almost—
I clap my hands over my mouth as the stink of stale beer and cigarettes rises from the depths of my memories to fill my nostrils and I clamber to my feet with a wobbly lurch.
Before Sunset can say a word I sprint out and away from her to the edge of the gardens where no one can see me lose what little I managed to get down past my nerves before we’d come here. I hit the edge of the gardens, stumble a few paces away from the lights, then stagger to one of the flowerbeds where I drop to my knees and get violently sick.
Tears flow fast and reflexive down my cheeks as my throat burns with the acid taste of bile.
Sunset’s expression haunts the corners of my vision as I crumple up beside the flowers, petunias, I think. I don’t know why I notice that I just do and I stare at the little blooms through watery eyes, and feel a pang of guilt that I’d just thrown up in the middle of all of them.
Minutes pass, I think, and eventually another red cup enters my vision where it’s set gently by my head as I lay on the ground, and I stare at it like it’s filled to the brim with venom.
“It’s water.”
I look up at Sunset as she sits down on the concrete wall beside me. The look on her face is one of quiet misery.
Shakily, I sit up before cautiously reaching out to pick up the cup, sniff at it, then take a tentative sip. Cool, slightly tepid water washes over my tongue. I swirl it around a little before spitting it out, then take another, longer drink.
“Sorry,” Sunset says quietly.
My limbs feel leaden and watery at the same time as I scoot closer until I’m sitting beside her. She doesn’t move away, which is nice of her, but it doesn’t change what happened. I want to apologise, but I don’t know what I could possibly say to fix this, so in lieu of that I tuck my knees in, wrap my arms around them, and bury my face in the folds of my dress.
This is it.
Sunset worked so hard to bring me here. She got me a home, and then got me a beautiful dress and tried to treat me like a princess, and I couldn’t even manage to give her one, single, stupid night.
I really am useless.
A quiet sniffling sound comes from beside me, and I raise my head in surprise to look over at Sunset. She’s curled up much like me, her knees tucked in and her face pressed to them, and her shoulders are shaking almost silently.
Almost.
“S… Sunset?”
“M’sorry.” Her voice is wet and strained. “I just… I wanted to do this right and I fucked up, okay? I… I just wanted to make you smile.”
When she does raise her head, her eyes are puffy and red. She reaches back behind her and pulls the tie from her hair to let it fall back down into a graceful tumble of red-and-gold curls.
“I can uhm… I can see if Rainbow or someone will let me borrow a car to take you home, alright?” Sunset continues, her tone quavering. “I’ll uh… I’ll go do that.”
She gets to her feet, shaking, and starts to move back to the party.
I don’t know what it is that possesses me, but I get to my feet with a reeling shake, and then stagger forward to grab her hand and yank her back to me before she can get more than a step away. I don’t want her to leave, I realise. I don’t want her to go, because if she does she’ll forget about me, and that’ll be it.
I can’t let this be our last memory.
“W-Wait,” I sob softly.
Sunset waits. She doesn’t move forward, she doesn’t take her hand back. She doesn’t turn back to me either, though. I can see her shoulders shaking again.
“Please?”
The shaking stops slowly, and when she looks back at me she just looks tired. Sunset Shimmer, so bold and full of life, just looks drained.
“Why?” She asks. “I… I shouldn’t have done this.”
“You wanted to make me smile?”
Sunset doesn’t answer immediately. She looks down at the cup in my hand, then over at the flowerbed, then back at the crowd, before finally looking back to me.
“Yeah,” she says, nodding. “I really did.”
I sniffle, trying to clear my nose of the smell without touching my gross face with Rarity’s nice gloves, then take a deep breath, look Sunset in eyes as firmly as I can, and smile.
It’s small, but it’s real.
Sunset makes me smile. Looking at her makes me smile.
“Do you uhm, maybe want to go for a walk?” I ask quietly, nodding back to the empty path behind us. “It’s… It’s really nice out here.”
For a moment I think Sunset might say no, but instead, she just works her jaw a few times, before smiling, straightening out a little, and moving to my side with her arm out.
“I think I’d like that,” she says with a soft smile.
The lights are a little dim, and the flowers aren’t all blooming, but we walk a long circuit around the Canterlot Gardens with the distant sounds of prom in the background. Faint hints of music trail over us as we move around the walking paths, and Sunset holds me close the whole way, and that makes up for a lot of it.
I think I’d like to come out here again with Sunset during the day.
Yeah, I think I’d really like to do that.
Too bad—
No, I don’t want to think about the end. Tonight is a good night. I want it to be a good night. I don’t know how many good nights I’ll have but tonight is going to be one of them. Sunset worked so hard to make it that way and she… she deserves a good night too.
“Hey, Wallie?” Sunset says, her voice low and still a little raw.
“Mm?” I look up at her as I take another drink of water. The acid taste is gone now, thankfully.
“I know I uh… screwed this up,” Sunset continues without looking at me. “But would you maybe want to do this again sometime?”
I nearly snort water into my nose, and immediately start coughing. Sunset starts then turns in a panic, but I wave her off as I try and clear my airway. When I finally do, all I can manage is to look up at her and ask:
“What? Why?!”
Sunset stares for a long moment, caught badly off-guard, apparently. Finally, though, she just folds her hands together, wringing them in that way she does when she’s nervous.
“Because I like you?” She says quietly. “A lot… I like you a lot, Wallie, and I was kind of hoping after tonight, that maybe we could go out like… uhm…”
My heart is pounding in my chest and in my ears as Sunset blushes a pretty shade of red. Her crimson-gloved hands are shaking as she brushes the hair from her eyes and chews on her words, until—
“I… I was hoping to ask you to be my girlfriend at the end of all this,” Sunset says finally.
For a moment it’s all I can do just to keep breathing.
Sunset could have come to this dance with any girl in the school. She could have asked anyone, but she didn’t. She asked me. I don’t know why she asked me, beyond the very basic reasons she’d given me. Now she’s asking me to be… what?
More?
“But,” I start, unable to keep the words back anymore, “after school you’ll just forget about me.”
Sunset stares at me like I’ve grown a second head. For the space of a heartbeat, I think she’s about to get mad again, but she doesn’t. She just starts to laugh weakly and shake her head.
“Wallie I’m not going to forget you,” she says, her voice cracking and raw. “I… I think I kind of love you.”
My jaw drops.
“I swear, Wallie, I won’t forget you,” Sunset closes the distance and takes both of my hands. “I don’t think I’d be able to forget, and I definitely don’t want to! I… I want to stay with you.”
She lifts my hands to her lips and presses them to my gloved knuckles.
“If you’ll let me,” she mumbles against the soft, creamy cloth.
Several silent moments pass as I try to wrangle my thoughts together. Sunset wants to stay with me. She wants to stay with me. I don’t know why. She’s said a lot of words but none of them are sticking to my brain. At the same time, I don’t doubt Sunset. She’s not the type of person to make empty promises.
For better or worse, I trust Sunset.
For better, I think.
She knows how I feel about alcohol, and the moment she drank the spiked punch she didn’t spit it out or curse or swear.
Her first thought was of me.
She’d turned to knock the drink out of my hands because she’d been afraid that saying something wouldn’t stop me fast enough.
I have no idea how I would have reacted if I’d actually tasted the stuff.
I think I may have really just lost it right there in the middle of the dance floor, in front of God and everybody.
Then there were those other words. Simple and solid words that were a little uncertain and, weirdly, because of that uncertainty they felt more real than I think they had any right to.
‘I think I kind of love you’
Turning my head in the direction of prom, I close my eyes and listen for the music. It’s a soft, poppy number with a gentle and steady beat. Then I open my eyes and turn Sunset, take a deep, steadying breath, and swallow hard.
“Would you uhm… like to dance?” I ask, glancing nervously around us.
Sunset blinks, then looks around, chuckles, and nods.
Pushing myself past my fears and panic, and take a step forward and bring my arms to rest over Sunset’s shoulders as she settles her hands on my waist, then slips her arms around me and pulls me close.
We sway to the beat, occasionally moving our feet here and there. I let Sunset lead, because she’s much better at it than I am, and after a few moments I feel like we’re actually doing something close to real dancing.
I rest my head against her chest and sigh quietly and happily.
Do I want to be with Sunset Shimmer?
I think I do.
The problem is that I don’t think I deserve it. Sunset certainly doesn’t deserve to have to deal with me. But being here, tonight, with my ear to her heart and listening to its steady, lovely beat while we sway to distant music, I wonder if maybe… maybe I might be able to make an exception.
Just one.
For her.
“Sunset?” I say as the music trails off, and I look up at her.
She’s looking down at me as I raise my head, and her eyes are sharp and crisp and beautiful, and she’s looking at me like I’m the only girl in the world, and for an incredibly brief moment I think I actually feel it too.
“Yeah?”
“Are you sure?” I ask. 
I know she’s sure. Sunset is always sure, but I need to hear it. I have to.
Sunset’s face splits into a wide, happy, slightly-teary smile as she nods a little frantically. “Yeah! Yeah, I’m sure, Wallie.”
I sigh and close my eyes as I rest my head against her chest again and hug her tight. For a moment I let my whole world get swallowed up in that gentle heartbeat. I don’t trust myself to say yes, I think I might say something else if I try because that’s how my brain works.
Instead, I nod, just as frantically, against her.
And then she’s laughing. It’s a warm, bubbling sound that starts deep in her chest as she hugs me tight, and spins me around a few times, whooping in glee. I have to cling to her as she does, and when she sets me down and pulls back, her face is flushed and her grin is broader than ever.
“You’re… Written’s Quill, o-okay, I guess… you’re my girlfriend now, huh?” Sunset says shakily.
I swallow back a lump in my throat and nod. “I uhm… I guess so? I’ve never really done this before.”
“Good, because neither have I!” Sunset says with an awkward laugh. “But uhm… I… I think, if it’s okay with you, I’d uh… really like to kiss you now, if that’s okay.”
My heart shoots straight up into my throat.
As dumb as it is, I hadn’t even thought about that. I’d never thought about kissing anyone. It was just never on my radar.
To my surprise, I realised that I really wanted to kiss Sunset too.
So for once, I managed to stuff all my little neuroses and anxieties in a little box, kick them into the back of my head for at least a minute, and nod.
Sunset’s hand, warm and gloved red, comes to rest on my cheek, and slowly she guides me up, aiming our lips carefully until I feel her lips press softly to mine. There’s a faint flavor of something like cherries, and her lips are so warm.
I sigh happily against her, and I feel her lips curve into a smile against my mouth. It’s a happy feeling. It’s such a happy feeling. So many other feelings I’ve had are these draining mixtures of chaos. Good and bad swirled together, so tied up together that sometimes I can’t tell one from the other.
But this feeling?
It’s all happy.
Because it’s Sunset.
Sunset has only ever made me happy.
The rest of the night passes in a weird flurry of colours and lights. I remember laughing and holding on to Sunset like I’m never going to let her go. I hope I don’t. I hope even harder that she doesn’t let me go, because I think she’ll be more reliable at it.
When we meet up with her friends, they’re all worried.
Word had gotten around of what happened at the drink table so I let Sunset explain. She’s better with words too. She’s better at a lot of things, but she’s also decided she wants to be with me.
And I trust Sunset Shimmer.
Apparently I trust her even more than I thought.
By the time we get back to the cars, it’s well past midnight. People are staggering back to their own separate vehicles looking exhausted and happy, and for once I know exactly how that feels.
Sunset and I collapse into the back of Rarity’s car as she and her stolid girlfriend clamber into the front with Applejack at the wheel.
We barely get five minutes out from the Gardens before Sunset is snoozing away beside me. I’m resting on her chest and listening to her even, steady breaths and the gentle thud of her heart. As she sleeps, I shift against her, and something sharp pokes me in the side.
Frowning, I pat around my dress before remembering where one of the surreptitious pockets is that Rarity had cleverly sewn in, and pull out the photograph that Sunset had been sure to get taken at the beginning of the night.
In it, we’re smiling. Both of us. I look terrified, but Sunset looks so sure of herself; so brash and certain.
‘I think I kind of love you’
“Uhm, Rarity?” I say softly, trying not to wake Sunset, and Rarity looks over her shoulder at me quizzically. “Can I borrow a pen?”
“Certainly, darling,” Rarity says as she fumbles around the center console before handing me a ballpoint. “Whatever for?”
“Just a reminder,” I say quietly.
I turn over the photograph and put the pen to the back carefully, think for a moment, then nod, and start to scratch out the words in my mind. Words that I hope will be more than just a wish in the night.
Finishing my crabbed scrawl, I smile down at the words before passing the pen back, holding up the picture, and settling against Sunset. I don’t close my eyes, though. I just stare at the words and pray that they might just be real.
Tomorrow I might feel different, but tonight I feel a little bit of hope that the words might actually be true. So I read them, and reread, and mouth them silently.
‘The first day of my life’