Welcome to P-Oni-Ville

by gundamexia34


Prologue

In a room with several computers, gaming systems, and other entertainment, there sat 2 men. One was sitting behind a desk, typing away at his keyboard. The other was sitting behind a desk drinking energy drinks waiting to load into the computer.

"Alright, this program should be just about ready! All I need to do is start it up and input the character sheets we made up, then we can start the game!" The one who was typing said with a broad grin as he turned in his chair to look at his friend.

He puts his drink down and loads up the program. “Awesome I got it loaded up, just need to find my character sheet again.” He says, furiously clicking his mouse and typing away at his keyboard. 

"Don't worry, you asked me to hold onto it, remember?" The first said with a smirk as he held up 2 sheaves of paper and put them into the scanner next to his monitor. Starting the device, he grinned madly as the papers appeared on his screen, "K bro, you ready to do this?"

He throws him a thumbs up as his sheet shows up. “Yep, I’m good to go, bro. Hey, want me to top off your drink and chip or would you like to try my spicy nachos.” He says grabbing another drink from the mini-fridge under his desk.

"Hell to the no on those spicy chips! And my drink is good since I don't guzzle it like you do." The first teased.

“Ok, the program is loaded and my character sheet is open. You ready to start this Oni campaign?” The other cheered almost falling out of his chair.

"Hell yeah. Rolling the dice now to decide a setting!" With a few simple commands, a list and a 10-sided-dice appeared on the screen. The list seemed to flicker to something else for the briefest of moments, but when he blinked, it was back to normal, "That was weird. Remind me to check for bugs in the system when we're done."

“Gotcha.” The other said leaning forward tapping the screen to see if it happens again.

"Alright, here we go. Rolling the first D10!" So saying, he pressed enter.

Within seconds, the die was spinning wildly before finally coming to a stop on the number one. Before they could consult the list, it flickered and seemed to glitch out before showing new corresponding results.

"What the…" The first leaned in and stared at the result that now showed as where they would go if they got this result, "Equestria? Isn't that the show that you like the fanfics of so much that I never really got into?"

“Ha, you sure you’re not the one secretly reading fanfics about it? That's why you added that right?” The second said looking over his computer screen at his bro with a cheeky grin trying to hold back a laugh.

"Dude...I didn't put that on there." The first said hesitantly, freaking out a bit before his screen glowed blindingly bright and they both blacked out.


When the first guy woke up, he immediately noticed that he was in the middle of a grove of trees.

"What the hell?! Where am I?!" He called, before he noticed an oddity, "What's wrong with my voice!"

He stood up and right away, he saw that his arm wasn't the same as before. Whereas before, he had been scrawny and pale, now he was buff as hell and had stone grey skin.

"What the actual fuck?!"

“Shut the hell up, I only got 20 more seconds before work and I want to get that sleep in.” The second guy said above him.

"Dude, what the hell! Why… Are... You…" the first trailed off, seeing what looked like an Oni in the tree above him, "What the actual flying fuck?!"

The second guy opens his eyes and looks towards the voice and flips it off before pausing. “Who the fuck are you... Why does my voice sound different?!” 

"Bro, is that you?! What the hell, how did you become an ONI?!"

“Nah bro, why do you look like an Oni?”

"Say what?! You gotta be shitting me!" As he said that, he noticed a puddle nearby and approached it to look at his reflection, "Holy. Shit. Dude, get your ass down here and look for yourself!"

He grabs a tree limb and swings down next to what he can only assume is his best friend. Looking into the puddle, he sees his Oni mask. “Hot damn, dude I am looking scary, do you think I could pick up chicks with this mask?”

"Psh, hell no! They'd run screamin'!"

“You right.”

"How about you show me what's under it? At least my face will just get a few odd looks."

“Don’t blame me if you turn to stone.” He pulls up the mask and looks at him.

"Dude, we could be twins!"

“We could be brothas!” He says pulling down his mask.

"Alright, so we got that figured out, now what do we do? We can't go back to our old lives looking like this!"

“You wanna live here in the woods, or search around for people?”

"I say we take a look around, but be careful! Who knows what kinda animals live around here?"

“Dude you don’t got to worry, we are Oni, what would want to pick a fight with…"

At that point, a massive roar resounded through the woods as a leonine beast ran into the grove. It had a scorpion's tail and bat wings and immediately tried to sting the larger of the two. In exchange, the Oni reached out with his larger arms and pinned the creature down with one hand before he put his claws on its neck. The beast whimpered as it realized it had encountered a superior predator.

“Holy shit dude, can we cook it?”

The bigger of the two used its other large arm to dope slap the smaller one.

"No. It's scared enough. Plus, I don't want to risk poisons from the tail."

At that moment, there was a frightened squeak behind some bushes.

The smaller one disappeared before yelling out. “Yo I got something.” As he came out of the bushes holding a yellow-skinned, winged woman in a green sweatshirt and jeans with pink hair and terrified light blue eyes in a hostage hold.

"Dude! What the hell, let her go, she's scared out of her wits!" The taller of the two said, giving another dope slap that forced him to release her, "Sorry about him, we're both a little on edge. Are you okay?"

"Um...Y...You aren't going to hurt me?" She stuttered out, hiding behind her hair.

“Shit, that's cute.” The smaller Oni blurts out.

"Eep!" The woman blushed a crimson red as she pulls her head down in an almost turtle-like fashion.

"Dude!" The taller Oni shook his head, "No, we won't hurt you. And I tried to take down the big guy over there…" Here he nodded to the one arm that was still pinning down the lion… scorpion… bat… thing, "...Without hurting him too much, either."

The smaller Oni whispers into the ear of the bigger Oni. “You sure you’re not more of a brony than me?”

"Eh?"

“Never mind.” The smaller Oni backs off.

"Anyway, is there a reason you're out here, ma'am? This place seems dangerous."

"Umm...Y...Yes. I'm actually trying to catch my friend over there. He needs to have his leg stitched up, but he ran away before I could."

"Oh? Well in that case…" He turned to the smaller Oni, "I'll lift my big hand, you hold him down for a second until I can get there to help, then we hold him down so Little Ms. Veterinarian here can fix him up, agreed?"

“Gotcha, so where am I holding him down from?”

"You grab one arm and one leg, I'll grab the other ones, and then use my big hand to pin the tail."

“You da boss.” The smaller Oni does as he says.

As the woman took a needle and some thread to the inner thigh, where both Oni could see a rather nasty looking cut, the larger of the two's eyes widened before he smacked himself in the face with his one free hand.

"Gosh, my mother would thunderclap me for having such bad manners! We haven't introduced ourselves!" He exclaimed exasperatedly.

“'Sup, names Jay.” The smaller Oni says with a smile under his mask.

"Call me Alex. We're not from around here, if you couldn't tell." The larger one said with a smirk.

"W...Well, I'm Fluttershy. It's nice to meet you both."

The smaller Oni smirks behind his mask, just now realising what's going on.

Within a few minutes, the wound was shut and bandaged. The beast was freed and then ran off deeper into the woods.

“So what now 'big bro'?” He says with a huge grin on his face under the mask.

"Watch it, pal, I can still kick your ass." He said lightly, before turning to Fluttershy, "I don't suppose I could ask for your help in finding a place to stay?"

"Actually...You could stay at my house. I have more than enough space." Said Fluttershy kindly.

“You do that, I’m getting kind of hungry for meat, and since you won’t let me eat Fluffy over there, I will go see if I could catch some fish or something.”

"Umm...I have some fish at the hut. It's not much, but it should be enough for the night." Fluttershy pointed out.

“Too late already got fishing on my mind.” Jay said before vanishing.

"Eh, he'll be fine. He'll come around when night falls." Alex said calmly when he noticed Fluttershy looking worried.

“I will be back in 3 hours… Make that 6 I found dogs.” Jay’s voice echoed through the woods.

"Dogs?" Alex said semi-eagerly, being a lover of canines, only for several wolves made of wood to come running past in a terrified manner, "Oh. Dogs."