Author: Owlor
Prompt: Discord eating a slice of pizza
Title: Dear Diary
Thursday
When taking calls at work, I often have to deal with a lot of weird ponies, and I have pretty much gotten used to it. However, today I had a phone-call that was out of the ordinary, even by the standards of the late-night shift, and I think it deserves to be recounted in full:
"Hello, this is Ponyvilles Pizza Palace, may I take you order?"
"Hello? Hello! Ah, it finally worked! Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to use the phone. I'm feeling a bit stiff, to say the least... Anyway, what do I want? What sort of crusts do you have, do you have Umbrella?"
"Umbrella?", I asked.
"Yes, you could stabilize it with breadsticks, and it would shield you against the rain. Well I think it would be a terrific idea, don't you?"
"Sir, is this a prank call?"
"Prank call? you're accusing ME of doing a simple PRANK CALL?!!! Yes, that DOES sound like something I would do, doesn't it? Fine, let's do it YOUR way, what sort of crust do you have?"
"Regular or pan pizza, sir, nothing else”
"I'll take a regular pizza then, I never did get along well with Pan. He's a horn-dog, lemme tell you! In more than one sense of the word.... Oh, but I need toppings, don't I? I want popcorn, cheesecake, anchovies and liquorice."
"On a pizza?"
"No, on the bucking MOON, what do you think?!"
"oookay, I'm gonna hang up now..."
"Wait, wait wait! I'm sorry, I've just had a rough day. Pidgeons, I hate them! Fine, just put a little of all your toppings on there, okay? I'm not picky. Do you deliver to Canterlot?"
"Yes we do."
"Good! The adress is Canterlots sculpture garden, third statue to the right, the one that looks like a draconequus."
"You want us to deliver food to a statue?" I asked.
"Yes! I still like to EAT y'know? Oh and by the way, could you ask the delivery pony to put a slice of the pizza in my mouth? I'm a little tied up at the moment..."
I hung up on him. At first I thought this was a prank-call, now I HOPE it was a prank-call. It has to be, right? Otherwise, how would a statue be able to use a phone?
FridaY.
There's been a strange statue outside of the shop all day, I'm serious. It was just barely visible from the desk where I take calls, but when I finally got off work and could investigate, the statue was gone! I'm not going crazy here, there was a clear mark on the ground where I had previously seen the statue.
SAtUrdAy.
Something's been in the kitchen. When I was arriving for the morning, I smelled freshly baked pizza. On the counter I found a pizza-box that rested on the table with a note on it that said “Thanks for letting me use the kitchen! I only really wanted one slice, you can have the rest of the pizza, I think you will like it.” I haven't dared to open the box yet. My fear wrestles with my curiosity, and I think my curioisty is winning...