Author: CosmicAfro
Prompt: After getting into an argument with another patron at a local bar, the pony challenges you to a fight out back. Because you’ve never been in a fight before (and don’t want this to be your first time), you come up with a more creative way to settle your dispute.
Title: The ponies you put up with...
“What did you just call me you dirty punk!?” the drunken bar-pony asked with excessive rage as he hopped off his stool. You didn’t mean to insult him, you thought your best friend was right behind you and you were teasing him. You’ve had a few yourself and his mane and coat looked slightly akin to your buddy, who was now in a booth talking up some chicks you both know he has no chance at.
“I-I didn’t mean to! I swear!” you respond, backing up towards the door, planning your escape. Your steps are wobbly, from fear and the alcohol coursing through your veins, mostly the fear. “Can’t we settle this like reasonable ponies?”
“Yeah, that sounds nice. How about my hoof in your face! You, me, outside!”
“Ha Ha!” you laugh sheepishly, pretending it was a large joke, using it as a defense mechanism. “Or, I could apologize and we can all go back to drinking and… merriment?”
He looks at you like you have rocks for your brain. Honestly, you don’t blame him.
“How about I buck your head right off your neck?”
You seriously wonder why no one’s restraining him. Then you remember this part of town is a fend for yourself after midnight thanks to the police shift schedule.
“How about a drink off?”
“No.”
“Dart contest?”
“NO!”
“Jeopardy!?”
“What!?... No! That’s it, Crackerjack! You’re going d-“
“Thumb wrestling!?”
He pauses, and holds a hoof to his chin as if seriously considering it. Maybe he’s more drunk than you thought, but he actually starts to smile at you.
“Heh-heh-heh. Alright kid, it’s a deal.”
“Ok, now it’s my turn to say what.”
“Yeah, my cousin Louie, who’s a monkey, thumb wrestles all the time. I got really good at it, so good I break hooves all the time.”
“But you don’t even own any thumbs!”
“Yeah, your point?”
Oh… crap.
~~~
Three days later you wake up in a hospital with a broken hoof and an injured back plus several scars on your face. The doctors tell you that you should have just taken the beating, they’ve never seen a thumb wrestle fight end so badly. You forgot how it happened, but you did participate.
You’ll never call another pony “Tytyvm” ever again.