May Your Heart Be Your Guiding Key

by SoulboundAlchemist

Sibling Social Activities Part One

Chapter 14: Sibling Social Activities Part One

WARNING: This chapter contains some swearing. Reader discretion is advised!

Third Person POV

“Please, Alex? It’s just for one day. You can even wear your coat over the dress, but I want to do it just this once!” Screwball held the Sisterhooves Social poster out to him while floating a few feet off the ground.

“And what exactly is even involved in a ‘Sisterhooves Social?’” Alex questioned, taking the paper from her hooves. “Is it like a festival or something? I could do that. Probably.”

“It’s a town-wide event at Sweet Apple Acres, every year, for sisters to compete against other sister pairs, like a sports thing.”

Alex lowered the paper, giving her a firm look. “I’m not doing sports in a dress. Rarity would kill me. I’ll just go in my jogging gear.”

“I didn’t mean one of your fancy ones, but a good point is a good point.” She nodded to herself and then wiped a hoof in front of her face to hide the change in her expression to a wide, puppy-dog eyed pout. “Pwease?”

“Alright, alright, you don’t have to make faces at me.” Reaching out, Alex flicked her propeller. “You convinced me, I’ll go do the thing with you. But!” He held a finger up. “You have to do something for me later.”

“Whatever you want, aside from pranking your lots-and-lots times grandniece.” She wagged a hoof at him. “I know she’s been a pain in your flank, but I don’t prank family intentionally.”

Rolling his eyes, Alex booped her with his outstretched hand. “Next time Zephyr is around, you’re playing defense. I don’t need another weekend of him trying to rope me into wooing Dash again.”

Screwball sniffed and shook her head quickly. “Well, okay. I think I might be able to pull out a few board games to keep him busy.” She reached up under her hat and rummaged around a bit before pulling out a few distinct boxes and placing them on the floor. The top one read ‘Monotony’ in the Monopoly font.

“Alright then.” Looking back down at the poster, he nodded. “Okay then.” Looking at the date, he frowned. “Cutting it a bit close, huh? A day is short notice, Screwy. You’re lucky I didn’t already have plans.”

“I wasn’t in town all week. They don’t do it the same date every year, just the same month.” She threw her forelegs out wide. “I only saw it myself an hour ago.”

Rolling his eyes, Alex rolled up the poster and slid it into a pocket. “Nothing like last minute, huh?” Wrapping an arm around her, he pulled her close. “Why don’t you tell me what all the sports stuff is, okay?”

“Oh, well they change things up a little every year but generally speaking…” Screwball began to list off the various events she’d witnessed from afar over the years, stopping to explain them when Alex asked for more information.

Alex shifted uncomfortably as he waited in the signup line next to Screwball, who was prancing in place at his side and doing the occasional gravity-defying backflip, much to the amusement of a few pairs behind them. He checked the pocket of the fanny-pack Discord had given him once more, as if to reassure himself that the bag of bits and certain hygiene products were still there. “I’m so glad this isn’t as painful or embarrassing as the first time was. Still sucks.”

“No hiding in the bathtub for Mister Sister,” Screwball replied, a delighted smile on her face. Getting serious, she poked his side. “Remember, no special powers. Gotta be fair!”

“Says the mare spinning in midair.” Alex responded instantly in a complete deadpan tone. “And what special powers would I even be able to use here? I really doubt that being able to summon a giant key is going to be much use.”

Screwball glared at Alex. “Mommy gave you a thing for school, didn’t he? I’m going to be suppressing everything that isn’t earth-pony, you need to turn off the non-muscle stuff.”

“Ugh, like there’s going to be a standing high-jump event.” Alex closed his eyes for a moment and concentrated on grabbing that atrocity as if he were summoning Aubade, and the neon-pink band appeared in his right hand so he could slap it onto his left wrist. “Fine, I’m locked down until I take it off.”

Nuzzling his cheek, Screwball ‘paddled’ her way to the sign up stand. “Hello!” Like a feather, she slowly eased herself to the ground. “We’d like to sign up please! Alex and Screwball!”

“Screwball and Alex…” One of the two mares behind the table looked up at Alex slowly and frowned after a moment. “I thought Rumble told me you were a colt?”

Alex frowned back and glared at the mare. "Really? You let Big Macintosh wearing a dress and a beehive wig in with fewer questions than that, and I'm medically female, but you stop me."

“Right, sorry. It’s just, he insisted you were a colt and this is the sisterhooves social.” Taking a breath, she passed them the sign-up sheet. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend, just a little confused.”

“That’s okay. Mister Sister here feels confused all the time.” Screwball responded while the pencil floated to write out her full name with minimal flourishes despite being clearly manipulated by magic. “Last time I’ll use this today, I promise.”

“I’m all limited too,” Alex said, taking the pencil and writing his name next to Screwball. “Do we get numbers or something?”

The mares shared a glance before the first pushed a pair of long navy-blue sashes across the table. “Just these, something that won’t blend in with your coats.”

“Sounds fine to me.” Picking his up, Alex looped it around his right wrist a few times before using a combination of his left hand and his mouth to knot it in place so that it was tight enough to not slip while being loose enough for circulation. “Anything else?”

“No, that’s it. Have a fun time, girls,” the old stallion offered, giving a smile.

Alex bristled a little at that, but took a deep breath and sighed. “Thanks, we’ll do our best.” Grabbing Screwball’s sash, he almost pushed it on her as he turned to walk away

Screwball hurried to catch up with Alex as he walked away, holding her sash in her mouth for the moment as her eyes narrowed slightly. She nudged against his thigh with her head and indicated a nearby picnic table with a tilt of her head.

“I think all the pairs are supposed to wait there,” she spoke carefully guiding him. Screwball was briefly surrounded by a bright yellow aura before she began manually tying a knot in her sash. “Gonna have so much fun with Mister, Sister~”

“Yeah, lots of fun today,” Alex assured, putting on his most excited face. He pushed his complaints down, wanting to have a fun time with Screwball.

“Hey Alex! What’re you doing here?” A young and familiar, slightly scratchy voice called out from nearby. A quick look confirmed that it was Scootaloo, accompanied by Sweetie Belle. “Who’s the mare?”

“How have you two not met Screwball?” Alex questioned, gesturing to Screwball. “I mean, she was at the gala and I know you two were there. Hell, she came to school with me before... You two just forgot, didn’t you?”

“We were supposed to pay attention to a bunch of snooty nobles? I was just happy to be there with Rainbow Dash.”

“Scootaloo was out sick with the feather flu that day, Alex.”

Alex sighed, pinching his nose. “Right, right. Anyway, this is my older sister, Screwball. Screwball, these are my friends; Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.”

“H-hi there…” Screwball actually fidgeted a bit, looking around nervously for a few seconds. “I’m, uh, I’m sorry, I don’t usually get this jittery around foals. It’s been a long time since I was able to do anything with family.”

“That’s okay, Princess.” Sweetie Belle smiled and nudged at Scootaloo with a foreleg. “We’ll just get going then if you want to spend some time with Alex instead of chat with us too.”

Screwball shook her head immediately. “None of that ‘princess’ stuff. Outside the castle, that’s all fluff.”

“Just call her Screwy,” Alex said, smiling back at Sweetie Belle. “Give it your best, alright? Don’t go easy on me just because it’s our first time, got it?”

“Oh, I’m not competing this year, Alex. Scootaloo managed to convince Rainbow Dash to participate, but Rarity and Applejack had to go to Manehattan.”

Scootaloo shook her head slowly. “Yeah, and now we have to deal with ‘Cousin Orchard Blossom’ paired up with Apple Bloom. There aren’t many events involving strength, but they’re going to have an advantage in those.” Her tone was somewhere between bitter and amused as she spoke.

“Yeah well, just let them have fun, okay?” Biting back a comment about himself, Alex turned towards the event area. “Who won last year?”

“Oh it was, uh…” Sweetie Belle brought her forehoof up to her muzzle for a moment in thought. “I know Rarity and I lost the race to them, but I can’t remember…”

“The local alcohol family branch. Pina Colada and her older sister.” Scootaloo grinned, seeming pleased to remember something Sweetie couldn’t. “My aunts only buy their drinks from them directly.”

“...I think you’re turning into a delinquent.” Alex turned his head again as one of the Social’s staff members blew a whistle. “I think that’s our cue, girls. Don’t go easy on me, got it, Chicken?” Taking a handful of Screwball’s mane, he guided her along to what appeared to be the first event.

The first event alone proved that Screwball should have brought this up far sooner, as it was a singing display and they hadn’t even had a chance to discuss what they were going to do beforehand. Screwball wore a sheepish expression as she quietly withdrew them from participating in that part. The two of them took some time to locate a list of the events, but their discussion of what to do was interrupted by a loud and deep voice suddenly booming from the stage as ‘Orchard Blossom’ and Apple Bloom finished their performance.

“Oh, he was hiding it so well until the end, too.” Screwball winced a bit at the uncomfortable expression on Apple Bloom’s face.

“Yeah, ‘hiding’,” Alex grunted, feeling a well of thoughts rush through him. Part of him resented that Mac could ‘hide’ in the first place. No one questioned Big Mac in a dress, while he had doctors arguing with him over what he was.

“So, it looks like there’s supposed to be a juggling competition and tandem jump rope after this, then a big multi-stage race with all kinds of things...and I think we can skip ahead with the juggling despite forfeiting with the singing.” Screwball massaged the side of her head with one hoof, then looked up at Alex. “Staying this focused for so long is hard.”

Kneeling down, Alex scratched her ear. “Do you need to take your medicine? It wouldn’t be great if you uh, had an episode during one of the events.”

“I t-took some before we came. I’m just not used to making sure I think about what I’m going to say before it comes out of my mouth. It’s weird and hard.”

“We’re both putting in our A-game today.” Giving her a quick hug, he took comfort in her closeness. “We don’t have to win or even do good. As long as we’re both having fun, that’s what counts, right?”

“Never cared about winning, just didn’t want to stumble through a song and mangle it.”

“Obviously, you’ve never done drunk karaoke.” Pulling back, Alex rested on his heels. “Mangling a song can be pretty memorable. Shoulda seen me trying to sing One after a few rounds of vodka.”

“Karaoke’s different. That’s intentionally singing badly, not trying to sing and doing bad.”

The day went on, with the two of them doing their best and managing to have a fair bit of fun with the juggling portion, while the jump rope portion left Alex feeling like the two stallions who were swinging the ropes with their mouths were staring at him the entire time. Even with his discomfort there, he couldn’t help but facepalm as they both watched a truly pathetic showing from Big Mac failing to even jump. His hooves seemed like they were glued to the ground the entire time.

“Was he even trying?” Alex questioned as they moved towards the starting line for the big race event that would finish the competitive part of the Social.

“Would it be funnier if he had been?” Screwball giggled and leaned against Alex’s side briefly. “He looked so confused.”

“I wouldn’t call it funny. Cringy is the word you’re looking for, Screwy. I’ve never even jump-roped before and I did better than him.”

“Maybe becoming a nobody made him more dense?”

“Nah, I think he’s just trying to get this over with.” Coming to a stop at the starting line, Alex stretched, getting a few looks from the ponies around them. “One last event. Think you can do it, Screwy?”

Screwball gave him a confident nod. “I can run, you can run. We just gotta stick together for the obstacle parts.”

They got into their positions for the race with a slight smile at each other, and Alex even got a smile and a hoof bumping against his leg from Scootaloo next to him. “Hey, Alex, good luck with the race and all, but just try to have fun, okay? Rainbow Dash and I have this in the bag.”

Alex leaned a hand down, flicking scootaloo’s ear. “Don’t count us out, Cuckoo. We got that element of surprise on our side.”

“That and over a thousand years of earth-pony magic keeping my muscles all nice and strong since I don’t have to worry about getting as frail as a normal pony would.” Screwball giggled softly while prancing in place to loosen up.

“Yeah well, we’re still gonna take the win!” Scootaloo narrowed her eyes, hovering into the air ever so briefly with buzzing wings. “Just you wait and see, Alex!”

“Fewer beats and longer downstrokes, squirt, you really need to work on your form if you’re going to fly.” Rainbow Dash guided Scootaloo back to the ground. “And besides, we need to keep an even playing field for the racers who can’t fly, and keep pace with each other. So no wings for this.”

“Best of luck to you guys,” Alex repeated, turning his attention forward. Beat after beat of his heart pounded in his ears, nearly blaring out the ring of the starting bell.

Alex and Screwball seemed to start out strong from the gate in comparison to the majority of the pack, although Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo just barely managed to get a lead before the first set of obstacles. Really, the fact that Scootaloo was able to move faster than Alex at all was a bit of a surprise to him.

Of all the things Alex thought his training would prepare him for, an obstacle race was not one of them. Childish thrills brought back old memories, and soon he found himself envisioning Screwball and himself running through Double Dare’s final challenge.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before the sound of wood breaking behind them began to tell Alex that things weren’t going to end well today. Alex was in the middle of struggling to get an egg to balance on his nose when he was roughly shoved out of the makeshift coop in the middle of the racetrack by a large and strong pony, and only the quick reflexes he’d honed with combat training allowed him to catch the egg before it shattered in the dirt. “What the hell?”

“Sweat, Alex!” Screwball commented, stopping at his side. “The big Mister Sister ran by!” she pointed ahead, towards a hulking figure knocking anything and everything out of the way and dragging Apple Bloom behind.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. He’s going to ruin the course just to win one lousy event?” Alex grumbled as he picked himself up and brushed his clothes off with one hand. “Come on, help me get this balanced again so we can finish this the right way, as much as he leaves standing that is.”

It wasn’t long before Alex and Screwball got moving again, and they both had to maneuver around debris from shattered or tossed-aside obstacles that just made the course cluttered. They arrived at the finish line just in time to hear one of the mares that had been at the signup table admit that the definition of ‘sister’ in the contest had always been a rather loose thing, and that Big Mac was not being disqualified for being a stallion.

“The f***!?” Alex demanded, taking a few steps closer. Or was it a few? He found himself in Big Mac’s face, poking at his barrel. “I have to go through all this nonsense and bullshit and he doesn’t get disqualified because he tried to hide his dick!?”

“Er, well, that’s not exactly the issue. The issue is the poor sportsmareship, n-not what’s between his legs.” The older mare stammered slightly as she realized just how angry Alex was about this. “As I said, our definition has always been a little loose on who qualifies as a sister. Two groups competing this year are just close friends.”

Alex grit his teeth, features contorted with rage. Whispers filled his ears, droning out all other sound. His shadow contracted, losing its shape as it pooled at his feet. Without another word, it exploded upward, completely consuming him.

“Alex? It’s okay if we lost.” Screwball came up to his side and placed her hoof on his hip gently; ignoring the potential danger to herself while waving a hoof for everyone else to run. “Come on, let’s go have a drink of cider and breathe?”

Anti-Alex screamed as it took shape, yellow eyes glowing like miniature suns. Its anger made known, the familiar self-loathing whispers emitted from it. It pushed away from Screwball, swiping at Big Mac.

Big Mac barely managed to duck away from the swipe before backpedaling away a few steps and looking around. “Apple Bloom, git home!” With that said, he began moving away from the more crowded areas where the Social had been set up.

“W-what happened ta Alex?!” Bloom demanded, ignoring her brothers orders and running behind him. “Did he get his heart stolen too!?”

“Nnnnope, now git home where it’s safe. Ah don’t want you hurt.” Big Mac looked around once more. “He wants me right now, Ah’m the least-safe place ta be.”

“Ah’m not gonna leave my brother and my friend!” Apple Bloom argued. “Ah dunno what’s goin’ on but, Alex needs his friends!”

Big Mac moved himself between Alex and Apple Bloom while sliding away from another feral swipe from Alex. “And how do ya think he’d feel if Ah’m not able ta keep ya safe and he hits ya?” Summoning his sword, he deflected a lunge. “Now git!”

"Let's rock and roll, no time for lazy, Mister Sister's gone quite crazy!" Screwball didn’t wait any longer than that deflection to swoop in and grab Apple Bloom by her tail to run away from the fight. She somehow managed to do this on her rear hooves while her forelegs rummaged around in her hat.

Bloom kicked her legs, desperately going nowhere. “We have to go back! Our siblings need us!”

Screwball’s mouth was a bit occupied, and at least one kick caught her in the jaw before she came to a sudden stop. She carefully lowered herself and Apple Bloom back to the ground, but also stepped on the end of AB’s tail to keep her from running off before opening her mouth to speak again.

“Mister Sister is scary now. Can’t get his attention, have to calm him down.” Smiling like nothing was wrong; Screwball pulled her hat down over her muzzle, and then further down her head and neck until it was resting on her shoulders with everything from there forward seeming to have vanished without a trace.

“Gah!” Jumping back as much as she was able with her tail pinned, Bloom stared in extreme discomfort. “How in the hay are ya doin’ that?!”

No response came for a few seconds, and the only response then was the hat slowly lifting away from Screwball’s body and releasing her hidden head as she lowered her other hoof to the ground. The reason for her continued silence was made obvious, as her muzzle was clamped shut by an eagle’s talon, and Discord’s disembodied voice emerged from the hat as one claw tapped on Screwball’s nose.

“Okay, I’ll get the ponies who need to know notified. You need to not yell when you do this in the future, dear. You scared Fluttershy half to death just popping between us like that.” The hat hovered in midair for a moment as the claws released their gentle hold and pulled back into the hat, only for a lion’s paw to dangle a seashell necklace from the suspended garment immediately. “Use this for some immediate backup though. We don’t want Applejack angry at Alex again.”

Apple Bloom took the chain in her own mouth quickly and gave it a little shake. “How’s this supposed ta help?” She asked through clenched teeth. “It’s too light ta be a weapon.”

No sooner had the words left Apple Bloom’s mouth, the charm began to glow. That glow then launched itself to just in front of the two ponies before forming a portal reminiscent of the Corridors of Darkness, but instead of the oppressive darkness, a warm light gave it form. Out of the portal stepped a girl in pink and black clothes, with red hair, who took a quick look around before summoning her Keyblade.

“Okay, I don’t know what’s going on, but I assume it’s some sort of battle, right?” The girl questioned the two ponies.

“That’s how, now you two stay safe.” Discord’s voice came from the hat once more before the lion paw retracted and the garment floated over to place itself back on Screwball’s head.

“Huh, you look just like Alex!” Dropping the necklace, Bloom pointed to the nearby conflict that was Big Mac and Anti-Alex. “Ya gotta help mah brother and Alex!”

The girl looked in the direction that Bloom pointed in before raising an eyebrow. “You mean Big Ma - er - that big stallion over there fighting the Heartless?”

“Mister sister isn’t a heartless, just...really angry.” Screwball spoke up quickly. “I-it’s my fault. Stupid old mare wanting silly filly fun with mister sister.”

“Ugh, Rage Form, huh?” the girl groaned. “Welp, only one thing to do then…”

The girl hefted her Keyblade, before making it change from the gold colored, flower covered blade, to a crystal blue blade covered in snow motifs. She then charged forward, quickly blocking a strike that would have taken Mac’s foreleg off.

Anti-Alex turned its vacant gaze from Mac to the girl. “Worthless. You’ll never be a real man. You’re nothing, just like your mother.” The tone was robotic in a way, and utterly disquieting in how there was no trace of love in the words it was saying.

“Okay, whatever is going on, that sort of mindset is not helping,” the girl muttered before pushing Anti-Alex back. “Kid, you gotta snap out of it!”

“Eeeyup. Thanks.” Big Mac took a step back and nodded at Kairi. “Ya related ta Alex? Look like his sister.”

The girl glanced back for a moment before she turned back to the dark figure. “Unless my brother ended up here, which I find very unlikely, no. Name’s Kairi by the way. Got anything we can use to hold him down?”

“Ah can run an’ get some rope, or Ah can pin an arm with the back of my sword. There’s a gap that’d fit.” Big Mac dipped his head down to the side and pulled the distinctly-designed form of Skysplitter seemingly from nowhere. This was followed by him slightly slurring, “Di’nt wanna hurt him, though.”

Another glance back had Kairi’s eyes widening in shock. “Oh great, the Heartless are already a bigger problem here than they are back home.” She sighed before turning back and fending off another of Anti-Alex’s strikes. “If you can get that axe around his neck and pin him to the ground, that should be enough.”

Striking out like a serpent, Anti-Alex wrapped its finger around Kairi’s neck. “Look at where those prissy games got you? You don’t even have a dick anymore.”

“Hey!” Big Mac shouted before swinging Skysplitter around in a wide arc to catch Alex’s wrist. The handle twisted in his mouth so that only the back of the blade made contact, and to avoid potentially injuring the new girl. “No picking on the guests!”

Kairi gasped as her airway reopened, before coughing out: “Get him pinned, quick. I’ll have an easier time helping then.”

“Took hours ta get him down the first time. Ya know how ta heal?”

“I have a way to drain the darkness of this form from hi - wait, the first time?!?” Kairi exclaimed. “This shouldn’t happen more than once in a Keyblade Wielder’s career, unless they are actively trying to go into it! Does he have a second personality or something?”

“Summin like that, eeeyup.” Mac answered quickly, then darted in under another swipe to hook the back of his weapon around one of Alex’s ankles. “Ya know Nightmare Moon?”

“OH COME ON!!!” Kairi cried. “Nightmare Moon AGAIN?!?!? Alright, hopefully, since Nightmare is Luna’s darkness, my technique will get her out of there as well. I can’t guarantee that though.”

“Careful with that. Heard from Luna she’s wrapped in his mom, or his memories. Nasty old nag.” Mac continued his wide attacks to try and trip Alex up; while also doing his best to avoid anything that might leave a severe injury afterwards.

“OK, so Nightmare is screwing with his head, that’s just great…” Kairi muttered as she quickly dodged under a Dark Void attack. “This is going nowhere fast. Mac, can you distract him for a bit? I have an idea.”

“How ‘bout Ah take him fer a walk, and you follow when ya got it settled?” Mac responded, seeming to chew on the grip of his weapon for a moment as he shifted it in his mouth and sidestepped a flurry of swipes.

Kairi nodded. “Sounds like a plan. I’ll be right behind you!” After saying that, she once again switched Keyblades, this time the weapon that appeared had two hearts on the shaft, and its handle bore two angel wings. The teeth were fashioned in the shape of the Kanji for "light," and the weapon itself was pure white with blue, gold and purple highlights around the teeth. Her eyes closed as a glow surrounded her.

Big Mac let out a short grunt of effort as he dug his hooves into the ground and pushed off with most of his strength. The result was him taking off far faster than one would have expected and leaving small divots in the ground where he’d been standing. Skysplitter was brought up quickly to catch Alex in the gut with the hooked back side while Big Mac barreled past him. Of course, ‘past’ was a relative thing since the hooked back of the blade caught and dragged the darkness-enshrouded form of Alex along with the bulky red stallion.

Anti-Alex thrashed violently, clawing at the blade. Twisting like a snake, it climbed onto the flat of the blade, its balance unbreakable. Leaping forward, it landed on Mac’s back, swiping the back of his neck repeatedly, until a silver chain wrapped around its neck.

“Thanks for the distraction Mac,” Kairi said with a smirk. Kairi’s clothes now took on a silvery sheen, as she wielded a small scythe-like weapon with a weight on a chain. “Finally got Promise Keeper working!” She then gave her chain a yank, pulling Anti-Alex away from Mac, and slammed it into the ground.

Mac slowed his pace quickly, and stumbled as he tried to turn himself around instantly as the weight was lifted. “That was quick...and you use a farming tool from Neighpon?”

“I honestly wasn’t sure this was going to work,” Kairi explained, pulling the darkness-infused teen in for a devastating punch. “I'm kinda surprised pulled it off on the first try. And it’s a Kusari-gama, not a farm tool!”

Anti-Alex retaliated with a flurry of movement, slashing Kairi at various points of her body. “Worthless waste of skin. You should have been a girl, for all the sissy shit you’re into.” Roundhouse kicking Kairi, it propelled itself back towards Mac.

Mac levered himself back up as quick as he could, and reared up on his back legs to fend Alex off with his forehooves in an act of pure instinct. This proved to be unnecessary as the chain that was still wrapped around Alex’s neck stopped him a few feet short of the stallion, but it did reveal an odd-shaped silver scar on Mac’s stomach.

Kairi’s eyes glanced to the scar briefly, before turning back to Anti-Alex, as a plan quickly formed in her mind. She quickly jumped towards one of the trees behind the darkness-infused teen, then, upon reaching the tree, launched herself to another tree in front of him. She continued this, all the while the chain on her Kusari-gama grew longer as it wrapped around Anti-Alex, eventually leaving him cocooned in chains.

“Alright, now we can see if my hunch is right,” Kairi muttered, before turning back to Mac. “Mac, you might want to back off a bit. I have no idea what my technique will do to a Nobody like yourself.”

“Eeeyup.” Mac muttered while carefully walking a few paces away from whatever Kairi was doing and sitting down to observe. “Ah’ll just try that cure thing Lee tried teachin’ us. Don’t wanna have Apple Bloom worryin’.”

Kairi nodded as she turned back to the struggling teen. She opened her mouth wide and… nothing seemed to happen at first. Then, it suddenly seemed to get brighter as the shadows in the clearing, as well as those surrounding Alex seemed to be sucked into Kairi’s now gaping maw. As more shadows came away from him, his thrashing died down little by little, until all that was left of the seething darkness were the glowing yellow eyes. Kairi closed her mouth, swallowing her meal.

“Crap, I don’t think that was enough…” she muttered, as she saw the darkness returning to his skin.

“Mister Sister!” Screwball called, running through Kairi’s legs. “Big sister is here!” She jumped into the air and simply floated towards his chained-up form on the tree. “A-and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to go all wrong. C-come back, please, and calm down for mommy and daddy? Daddy’s sure to be worrying about Mister Sister getting all dark and twisted again…”

Staring out at Screwball, Anti-Alex wormed an arm free. Reaching out, it touched her face. “Screw...ball?”

Screwball pressed her head against Alex’s hand and nodded. “I’m sorry Mister Sister. Wanted a fun day with family, not a day of hurt feelings and fighting. Come back, please, before Auntie has to bring down more anger and lightning.”

Anti-Alex’s grip increased for a moment before the shadows began to melt off its body like chocolate syrup running off of ice cream. Alex slumped back against the tree, his normal shadow reforming in the correct position. This revealed a face that was eerily similar to Kairi’s own, except for the black bangs.

Kairi’s eyes widened in shock. “Hold on, you got Displaced as Xion?!? I thought you said Alex was a guy!”

“He’s still a boy, even if he’s missing some parts. Just like I still call my daddy, daddy even if he’s been a mare for over a thousand years.” Screwball stated rather matter-of-factly.

Kairi’s eye twitched. “Celestia too?!? How in the…” she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. “You know what? Forget I said anything about it. I’ve got enough of a headache figuring out my own gender…”

“Oh, you’re like Mister Sister too? Um, maybe you should untie him, chains cause pains.”

“Huh?” Kairi blinked. “Oh, right.” She retracted the chain, allowing it to return to its Keyblade form, her clothes returning to their standard pink and black.

Alex slumped forward, face planting into the dirt and was almost immediately lifted up onto Screwball’s back to head over towards Kairi. “Thank you, Mister sister is okay now. No more ink and rage!”

Kairi smiled, rubbing the back of her head sheepishly. “It was no problem, really. I wish I could have done something about Nightmare’s influence though…”

“Come home with us? Mommy might want to meet you, and new daddy’s always nice? Have time for dinner and some chatting?”

Kairi nodded, smile never leaving her face. “I’d love to! Though I should probably point out that my diet is similar to Alex’s. No grass, no hay, and no flowers.”

“Daddy cooks fish for Mister Sister all the time, or eggs, and mommy can help make more for sure.” With that said, and nothing further other than a nod of her head, Screwball paused only to pull her hat off and whisper into it before beginning to float away. “Follow me.”

Kairi nodded as she dismissed her Keyblade. She followed closely behind the filly, only stopping to pick up a bag that she dropped near where she was first summoned. She then pulled out what looked like a cell phone, before making a call.

“Hey Luna… No, no, nothing’s wrong. I just thought I’d let you know I’d be a while… Yeah, you could definitely call it a meet and greet… You want me to do what?.... Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask. Hang on, let me check.” Kairi placed a hand over the microphone of her phone as she turned to Screwball. “Would you be at all opposed to having my little sister and my partner join us?”

Screwball had stopped a short distance away, but she looked back as the question was asked. “Homeward first for the best. You said Luna?”

“Yeah,” Kairi confirmed. “Long story, but we consider each other sisters.”

Screwball’s muzzle scrunched up as she thought long and hard. “Will have to ask mommy what she thinks about an auntie-but-not-auntie showing up, and how your sister would feel being around Discord.”

“Well, considering she knows about the show from where me and, most likely Alex, are from, Luna is well aware that Discord will eventually be reformed in our world,” Kairi said as she considered Screwball’s concerns, before removing her hand from the phone’s microphone. “Hey Luna, how would you feel about having dinner with Discord?... Uh-huh… Okay… Let me check.” She turned back to Screwball. “Will he keep his pranks in check?”

“Mommy only ever pranked Auntie when she started it before.” Screwball responded quickly with a wide smile. “No pranks from not-auntie means no pranks from mommy, except an accident or two from general playfulness.”

Kairi smiled. “She says that he won’t prank you, as long as you don’t prank him…” She nodded after listening for a second. “Alright, I’ll call you if they say you guys can come.” She hung up and turned back to the mare. “Luna says that she can deal with being around Discord, and that she wants to see another world, since she barely saw the last one we went to.”

“Okay, ready to go then?” Screwball bounced on the tips of her hooves for a few seconds, but stopped quickly as she remembered she was carrying Alex’s unconscious body.

Kairi nodded, before walking back over to her guide. “You know, I could probably lighten the load for you with a Zero Gravity spell.”

“Only if that would be more comfortable for Mister Sister. My fault, my load.”

“Fair enough. I honestly don’t know if it would be more comfortable for him,” Kairi replied.

The walk to Fluttershy’s cottage passed in comfortable silence, ended only by Discord greeting them at the door. Cloaked in paternal concern, he lifted Alex off Screwball’s back. “Never should have let Shonen Jump screw around with your brother’s heart.”

Kairi raised an eyebrow. “Shonen Jump? Who’d he meet, Naruto?”

“He met a Sora, one who kept him until nearly midnight local time and worried Fluttershy sick before I was able to punch a safe hole to use to get there and back with him myself.” Discord’s response was immediate as he held Alex carefully while examining Kairi’s face. “Fate’s a little funny that way, isn’t it? Much like how it brought you here to a world where someone who was turned into a near-clone of you was sent. Come in, come in. I need to get Alex into his room, where he’ll recover a little quicker, and you need to introduce yourself to his adoptive mother.”

Kairi snorted as she followed her hosts inside. “Fate seems to have a rather twisted sense of humor in my opinion…”

“Yes, yes, have fun talking to the missus.” Perhaps out of respect for Alex’s condition, Discord walked up to Alex’s room rather than teleporting with a snap. Laying him down on his bed, Discord scooped up the trash can and held it close to Alex’s head. “Time to wake up, Alex.”

A poke to Alex’s cheek brought him back to the world of the living. Lurching his head in panic, he grabbed the trash can and vomited out a sickly black slime. Convulsions racked his body as it purged what was left of the vile blackness from him.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Fluttershy walked out of the kitchen bearing a nervous smile, her mane and tail still visibly damp. “H-hello. You m-must be the one who helped Alex. M-my name’s F-fluttershy.”

The visiting girl turned when she heard Fluttershy speak, and almost instantly froze as she noted the odd ear tufts and batlike wings. “Please tell me you aren’t a vampony,” She said in shock.

“Oh, n-no, not really. Discord was able to fix that even if he couldn’t change everything back after my mistake, but it’s a long story. I do have to suck a few fruits dry daily now, but I have a mostly-normal pony diet otherwise.” Her wings fluttered for a moment as she spoke, and she shuffled her hooves before slowly walking forward.

Kairi sighed in relief as a smile came to her face. “Well, in that case, it’s nice to meet you Fluttershy, my name is Kairi.” She held her hand out to the mare as she spoke.

Fluttershy hesitated for a moment, but lifted her forehoof up to meet Kairi’s outstretched hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Kairi. I assume you didn’t always look like Alex’s older sister, though.”

Kairi chuckled sheepishly. “Yeah, that’s right. I was originally a male college student at a karaoke contest. Like I told Discord earlier, I personally think that fate has a bit of a twisted sense of humor for turning me into a fictional girl that I was crushing on.”

“So you used to be a boy as well… how long has it been for you? Alex had an...unfortunate surprise after being here a couple weeks. There was, um, uh...well, there was blood, and he panicked.”

“Oh jeez, I know what you’re getting at,” Kairi said with a facepalm. “To answer your question about two weeks. I’m due for my first monthly any time now. Wow, never thought I’d ever say that to anyone…”

Fluttershy smiled in response and walked forward to gently nudge Kairi over towards the couch. “Why don’t you take a seat while you think about things that you probably didn’t consider yet? That’d be much better than falling on the floor after all. Alex and Discord brought back some supplies for that from the other side of a magic mirror, and I’m sure he’d be willing to share some with you to spare you the hassle.”

“That would be fantastic,” Kairi smiled, before taking a seat on the couch. “Oh, before I forget, my little sister and my partner would both like to join us, would you be at all opposed to them joining us?”

“Oh, more humans or ponies? I’m guessing one human at least? I might be able to stretch out the fish I have a bit if you’re okay with a salad? Alex doesn’t really like raw vegetables much.”

“Um, well,” Kairi twirls a lock of her hair as she considers how to describe her sister and partner. “My sister is a pony, per se, and my partner is more like a bipedal cat. So, no humans other than me and Alex.”

“Oh, okay then. I should have enough food to go around for an extra pony, since I’ve been buying more groceries with Screwball around lately. What does your cat friend eat? I think I might have some spare chicken that the animals I’m rehabilitating didn’t eat earlier.”

“I’m sure Chirithy would love that,” Kairi replies with a smile as she pulls her phone back out. “Hey Luna… Yeah, they said you can join us, so head to the Gate Room with Chirithy…Uh-huh… OK, see you soon.”

Fluttershy froze as that name registered. “W-wait, Luna? As in, the p-princess? Oh dear, what do I make for the princess? I can’t cook anything nearly as fancy as they do in Canterlot Castle!”

“Woah, woah, easy there Fluttershy,” Kairi held up her hands as she attempted to soothe the panicking mare. “Luna doesn’t really consider herself a princess in my world. You’ll see why when she gets here. Speaking of which, can I borrow your backyard to get them here?”

“Oh, yes, absolutely, but you might want to...oh dear, um, I suppose Winnie will be docile as long as you don’t get too close to her, but Harry’s a big cuddler as long as he catches even a bit of my scent on somepony. If you see two bears, stay away from the one with bee parts, but the brown one’s gentle enough.” Fluttershy’s ears almost seemed to perform an intricate dance as she spoke, flickering from concern to excitement and exploring a small range of emotions between them. “And if your Luna wants a pet, I may have a few animals...oh, no, nevermind. Your world’s version of me probably has animals that need homes too.”

Kairi giggled at that. “Chirithy is pretty much both me and Luna’s pet, though he will vehemently deny it when asked.” She led the bat-winged mare out to the backyard, heading all the way to the back before once again pulling out her phone and selecting an app labeled “Dial Home.” About twenty seconds later, a blue, water-like portal wooshed into existence, before allowing a blue humanoid figure half of Kairi’s height, and a small black and white striped cat to step out. It disappeared within a few seconds of them moving more than a foot away.

Fluttershy offered the new arrivals a weak smile while visibly trying not to shake too much. “H-hello there, um, w-welcome to our world?” She looked from Kairi to Luna and back a couple times. “Are all ponies in your world almost human, or did something strange happen to Luna?”

The cat-like creature nodded. “Yep, ponies are far more humanoid than here. Kinda surprised by that actually. My name is Chirithy, by the way.”

The blue, humanoid filly, on the other hand, offered Fluttershy a bright smile. “Hi Auntie Fluttershy! It’s nice to see you, well, a version of you!”

Fluttershy’s mouth dropped open and she stared for a few seconds before being overcome by a fit of giggling. “I’m your a-auntie in your world? Please don’t tell me Zephyr Breeze adopted you!? He can barely hold down a college course, nevermind take care of two children.”

Luna went crosseyed as she tried to work out what Fluttershy was talking about. “Um, I don’t know a Zephyr Breeze. You, and the rest of the Element Bearers are my aunties, for saving me from the Nightmare.”

The cat chose that moment to pipe up. “Luna here pretty much adopted them as her family when we destroyed her Heartless. Since then, the Element Bearers have been visiting the tower to either visit her or train.”

“Oh that’s much less alarming and hilarious, but I suppose I can see it. I mean, if Discord and I decide to take things a bit further, I would technically be related to our world’s version of you through Screwball, but that’s a complicated subject of its own.” Her nervousness seemed to dissipate quickly as they talked, and her smile became more genuine quickly. “Let’s get inside, though. I’m going to need to prepare a bit extra for dinner, and I want to check up on Alex as well. He is my son, after all.”

Kairi nodded in understanding. “I’d probably do the same if it was Luna in Alex’s position. No, I definitely would do the same.”

Meanwhile, upstairs, Alex had finished vomiting the remaining black ichor. Falling back onto his bed, he shuddered in disgust. “Am I going to do that... every time that damn thing comes out?”

“Frankly, Alex, I wish I knew. Whatever Nightmare Moon is, she was definitely not something that was ever supposed to exist in the first place, and she’s not even a monster like Winnie. She’s something I have no real experience with.” Discord handed Alex a glass of water and a cold towel. “Rinse out and cool yourself down, kiddo, then we can see about having a nice, relaxing family dinner with some guests.”

“Guests?” Alex question, taking the offered items. Taking a swig of water, he swirled it around in his mouth and spit into the bucket. “Snails or Sonata stopping by?”

“Someone who could almost be your twin, what feels like a younger version of Luna, and something I’ve never dealt with before that is tied to the girl.” Discord answered quickly while opening a small portal to drop the bucket into.

“...Please tell me it isn’t a girl with red hair.” Groaning, Alex buried his face in the towel. “Like I needed to be reminded of how useless I am.”

“It’s not a girl with red hair.”

“Well then, that means it’s Namine. Which... is better? I guess, maybe?” Slipping out of bed, Alex grabbed a clean pair of clothes and made his way into the bathroom. “Gonna get changed real quick, keep talking.”

Discord moved as if to stand guard next to the bathroom door. “What do you want me to talk about, exactly? Ambient chaos levels are slightly higher than usual for this part of the Everfree border, but that’s easily just a result of Screwball and I moving in with you and your mother.” Discord snapped his fingers and began writing a letter in a fairly official and elegant script as he spoke. “We were looking through a photo album together when your incident happened, one her parents sent over recently of Fluttershy’s younger years.”

“That sounds adorable. I have to get a look through that thing.” Stepping back out, Alex had changed into his regular pair of jeans and band t-shirt. “I’m gonna guess she was the tall one way back when.”

“Oh, she had an adorably lanky phase that wasn’t much different from how Snails looks now. That’s one of the cuter things in the book in my opinion.”

Giving the best smile he could manage, Alex locked arms with Discord. “Well, throwing up horrible darkness left a big hole in my stomach. How's about we go fill it with whatever Fluttershy’s got cooking?”

“Oh, there’s not much cooking at the moment.” Fluttershy’s voice came from the stairway as the tops of her ears became visible. Her head peeked up over the top of the stairs a second later bearing a smile. “I was just coming up to check on you, but it looks like you’re recovering quicker this time.”

“You know that could be a good thing or a bad thing.” Walking with Discord down the stairs, Alex was greeted by the usual worried gathering of animals. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I hope none of you got Winnie worked up.”

A snort of laughter was heard from the doorway. “Wait...Winnie? As in Winnie the Pooh? Really?”

“And what would you name a bug-bear?” Alex questioned while looking over at the door. His eyes widened and he immediately spun around and punched Discord on the shoulder. “You said it wasn’t a girl with red hair!”

Discord didn’t even flinch from the punch, and extended a finger to boop Alex on the nose before turning him back around to face their guest. “You did ask me not to tell you it was a girl with red hair. I wasn’t about to snap my fingers and change her hair color.”

Kairi watched the byplay with a steadily growing grin and suppressed laughter until she couldn’t hold it in anymore. “BWAHAHAH!! Oh this is TOO FUNNY! I don’t think I’ve ever seen ol’ Q get walloped like that, no matter what franchise he’s in! And not even being phased by it! Oh this is too good!”

“Young lady, I’m only slightly younger than the concept of dirt and time is my younger brother. There isn’t much that can physically harm me aside from being assaulted with a keyblade. Oh, sorry about the inherent paradox in my previous statement, but time did become a retroactive thing once he was born. I suppose that doesn’t make it any clearer, but that’s the dawn of reality for you.” Discord fired back with a playful tone in his voice.

“Uh, did you understand any of that, Chirithy?” the young Luna asked her feline companion, as Kairi got her laughter under control.

“Not really,” the cat replied. “But then again, I don’t think anyone but Discord could have possibly followed that…”

“Good, good, I don’t much like talking about most of my family members other than screwball and her father anyways. Too many old memories, and ones that can be hard to bear.”

“Wait a minute, did he…” Kairi turned to Alex. “Did he pull a Loki?”

Alex sighed and rolled his eyes while pushing Discord towards the kitchen where Fluttershy was already heading. “Let me explain, before you turn her brain into a pretzel or something by accident.”

“Loki wishes he looked as good as I do, but perhaps you’re right.” Discord smirked and then vanished in a puff of smoke in the shape of five letters. C, L, G, I, and O. The smokey letters clattered to the floor loudly before fading out.

Alex paced for a few seconds before just walking over to the dinner table and pulling out a few chairs. “Okay, I’ve been given the rundown by three different people, four if you count Screwball, and five if you count the version of Discord that dressed up as Bill Nye to explain the flowchart of the events. Basically, our world’s version of Luna had an older brother named Celestine, who was about as gay as you can get. Discord considers himself an omnigender pansexual, because he’s chaos and why limit yourself. They got into a relationship and Discord convinced Celestine to just try it once with a female...and that resulted in Screwball being born about a year later into a family situation that started out quite loving.”

He looked around a bit and rubbed his hands over his face as he considered how to best word the next part, Kairi and her group taking a seat as well. “A couple years later, Discord asked if Celestine would be willing to return the favor of bearing a child. Celestine said yes, and then immediately started feeling utterly wrong after the change. That’s when Discord found out that he couldn’t change someone else twice; only changing himself would work an unlimited number of times. That, combined with a few poorly-chosen words on Discord’s end of things, resulted in a family squabble involving two beings who could be classified as living weapons of mass destruction if one of them wasn’t also a reality warper. Long story short, Discord ended up petrified and Celestine changed his name to Celestia and, eventually, learned to like being a mare.”

Kairi shook her head. “Jeez, if I hadn’t originally been a guy myself, I’d be calling bullshit on that whole story…”

“Oh, you too? How long have you been displaced for?” Alex perked up a bit at this, though there was a hint of worry in his expression.

“As I told Fluttershy when she asked, about two weeks,” the red haired girl replied with a deadpan expression. “And yes, I’m expecting my first monthly in the next few days.”

“Right, yeah. Well, at least you’re smart enough to remember that. I completely forgot and then had a really fun morning out of the blue after a day of just not feeling quite right.” His voice practically dripped with sarcasm at the word ‘fun,’ and he shook his head quickly. “I bought a bunch of ‘sanitary napkins’ after a trip through a special mirror to another version of this world where every pony has a duplicate with a human body structure and the same skin tone as the color of their coat. I can see about having Discord do something to make a couple boxes last longer for you, or just make one unlimited or something?”

“Oh, you mean the Equestria Girls mirror portal, right?”

“Equestria girls? You’re kidding, right?”

Kairi smirked. “You think I’m joking? Well get a load of this then!” She pulled out a laptop from her bag and loaded up a picture simply labeled EqG.

“No, more like hoping you were joking, actually…”

“Well, sorry to disappoint, but that wasn’t the only questionable name that Hasbro came up with,” she replied with a snicker as she turned the screen to Alex, which revealed a picture of Twilight looking at her human self in a mirror, with the title reading Equestria Girls.

Alex stared at the screen, unable to put his confusion into words. “The f*** does Hasbro have to do with anything?”

Kairi blinked in surprise. “Wait, you don’t know?”

“...Don’t know what?”

“...That this entire world is based off of a children’s TV show called My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic,” Kairi explained. “Hasbro is the show runner, and Lauren Faust, one of the genius minds behind the Powerpuff Girls and other similar Cartoon Network shows wrote it.”

“But...Hasbro’s a pharmaceutical company.”

“Huh? No they aren’t,” Kairi shook her head in confusion. “They’re a toy company that branched into TV around 2009.”

“No... it’s a pharmaceutical company,” Alex pressed, frowning. “Last I heard, they were taking that asshole who bought that Wu Tang album and jacked the prices of the medication he owned to court.”

“...I am so confused right now…” Kairi put a hand to her eyes, rubbed them as she fought a migraine. “From what I can tell we’re obviously from two different versions of Earth. That’s new. I mean, I’ve seen Doctor Who enough to understand the concept, but I never expected to actually encounter that…”

“I mean, infinite realities, infinite possibilities.”

“Fair enough, I guess,” Kairi nodded.

The sound of a knock came from the center of the table about a second before a section of it lifted up and opened like there was a trapdoor underneath it. Screwball slowly floated up through the opening, and then immediately tackled Alex and hugged him. The faint smell of bubblegum and some kind of soap wafted from the doorway that was slowly swinging shut behind her.

“Oh no, not another one,” the visiting feline groaned.

“Wait, what do you mean another one?” the young humanoid Luna asked.

“Another Pinkie-esque individual,” Kairi explained.

Alex tumbled with Screwball, a bright smile on his face. “And where have you been hiding, Swirls?” Pinning the mare down, his fingers started to frantically scour her belly. “I won’t stop until you tell me.”

Screwball began laughing and squirming under Alex, and tried to bat his hands away from her belly with her hooves. “Al-lex! C-can’t breathe!”

“You gonna tell me?” he insisted, narrowing his eyes.

“S-shower! Mud-muddy track!” The laughing mare gasped out as the tickling continued.

Satisfied with her answer he stopped, instead pulling her into a hug. “At least one of us had that good sense to shower.”

Screwball hugged Alex back while continuing to giggle a little bit. “Too much mud on hooves from running. Normal, quiet voice said only one choice.”

Content to just pet her head, Alex nodded. “That’s not a bad choice. Thanks for saving me, Screwball.”

Screwball’s face drooped into a frown, but her hooves stayed locked around Alex in the hug. “Mister Sister wouldn’t have needed saving without me. My fault for pushing you into sisterhood social.”

His frown returning, Alex poked Screwball’s nose and held it there. “Hey, I had fun. Despite turning into a raging she-demon, I had fun. I just wish the whole ‘sisterhood’ thing mattered in the whole thing.”

“Uh, speaking of the whole ‘raging she-demon,’ you are aware of what that was, right?” Kairi asked with a look of concern.

“What kind of question is that? Of course I know what it is. It’s my version of Anti-Form. I just... get stuck in it because of my self-loathing tendencies.”

Kairi grimaced. “I had a feeling that was the case, but I noticed it was a lot more feral than any incarnation of Anti-Form, any idea why that might be?”

“Eh, probably because of Nightmare Moon.”

Kairi nodded. “Makes sense I suppose. Well, in any case, I should probably introduce my friends.” She gestured to the black and white striped cat. “This is Chirithy.” She then gestured to the blue humanoid. “And this is my sister Luna.” The two waved with a smile.

“Yo, weird thing from that dumb mobile game and furry bait Luna. How are you?” Rising to his feet, he carried Screwball like a kitten to the table. “Didn’t expect to see either of you here.”

Luna gave a confused tilt of her head, as Chirithy glared at Alex. “What does furry bait mean?” Luna asked.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Kairi growled, glaring at Alex with much more heat than Chirithy. “Mind not insulting my family there?”

“Mister Sister didn’t mean in insult. He called me ‘spirals’ because of how my eyes get when I feel too full of chaos to control things.” Screwball spoke up again. “Not-Auntie Luna should be happy, means Mister Sister thinks certain people from his old home would be more attracted to her.”

“That may be, but she shouldn’t know that at her age,” Chirithy replied, glare losing a bit of its heat.

“You mean not-Auntie isn’t over a thousand years old and wasn’t banished to the moon yet? Neat. I get to be older than my Auntie for once.”

Kairi grimaced again. “Not exactly, Screwball. Technically, Luna is over a thousand years old, but rather than become Nightmare Moon, she extracted her own heart due to paranoia. This resulted in a heartless that called itself Nightmare Moon, and if Celestia hadn’t cast a stasis spell on Luna’s body, it also would have created a Nobody as well. Luna is so young now, because in our world, when a pony loses their heart, their body ages rapidly backwards until it is literally nothing. Luna’s lucky that Celestia managed to cast her stasis spell when she did.”

Chirithy nodded as Luna pulled the cat into a hug. “No kidding. She wouldn’t be here if that spell had failed.”

Alex nearly dropped Screwball, looking Kairi dead in the eyes. “I’m not going to comment on my thoughts on that particular tidbit is. I’m just going to sit down and pet Swirly like a cat because I don’t want to come off as more insulting than I already have.”

Kairi nodded. “Good call. I’d have had to drag you to my training room and beat the crap out of you otherwise.”

“Make you eat rubber chicken. Mister Sister had a bad day.” Screwball grumbled a little and glared at Kairi.

“Don’t get me wrong, I totally understand,” Kairi said placatingly. “But when it comes to my family, I get extremely protective.”

Chirithy snorted. “Understatement of the year there Kairi. You almost killed Nat and Sora’s master that one time.”

“Ugh, how long are you gonna hold that over my head? It was a misunderstanding! And besides, I said I was sorry.” Kairi groaned.

There was silence for a few seconds, broken when, out of boredom, Luna said “When are you going to let me go into Resident Evil?”

Kairi blinked at the random change of topic. “I told you, when you’re able to summon your Keyblade. No sooner. It’s one of my most dangerous simulations after all.”

“If I had to guess what it would be, it’d most likely be Missing Ache.” Alex held his hand up and called forth Aubade. “It’s what Luna has here. Aubade was Celestia’s but, she cast it off when she banished Luna and it latched onto me when I got here.”

Kairi smiled. “Actually, it’s Oblivion. She briefly made it manifest a few days ago. Didn’t stay very long, but it was there. She just needs to get a little stronger.”

“Neat. Twilight has Sign of Innocence and Shining Armor has some weird, fancy version of Fenrir.”

“And that minotaur had a fancy one, and the big dog lady had two. One that she threw and one on her back.” Screwball mentioned while thinking back to the Gala.

“Interesting,” Kairi muttered, eyes closed. “Your world is much more diverse in terms of Keyblades, and wielders.” She shook her head before looking back to Alex. “In any case, Luna unintentionally brought up something that might help you out, as well as give you a taste of home. How would you like full access to my training room?”

“Uh, I’m already getting spellcasting and keyblade-focused combat training in my sleep from our Luna, alongside Twilight and Shining Armor, and I’m getting beaten up every few days in the woods by Lee and some of the nobodies that have, unfortunately, been created since I arrived. Sonata’s there too, usually working with Lee on some kind of target practice with her water spells and siren water control.”

“But do you get situational combat training, problem solving, and thinking on your feet?” Kairi asked with a smirk. “My training room creates a simulation based off of the video games from home. As you would expect, that means you can ‘play’ through the scenarios of those games, or create scenarios based off the assets of those games. I doubt that Lee- wait a minute. Lee? Who’s that?”

“Of course he does.” Lee ported into the room, his eyes locking onto the newcomers. “Part of my Organization 13’s mandate is to help Equestria’s wielders prepare for whatever might come calling.”

Kairi gave a start, before leaping to her feet and calling Destiny’s Embrace to her hands. “Xemnas,” she growled.

“Weird tan!” Screwball shouted excitedly while waving to Lee from Alex’s lap. “I have some ice cream somewhere for you. Pumpkin and pistachio!”

Kairi blinked, confused. “What’s going on here?”

“Uh, okay, for starters, yes, Lee was dressed up as Xemnas when he was Displaced, but he’s on the good guys’ side here. He’s the reason Big Mac’s back with his family instead of wandering the Everfree after being mobbed by heartless on Nightmare Night.”

Kairi fixed a suspicious glare on the Displaced Xemnas, before reluctantly dismissing Destiny’s Embrace. “Fine, I’ll tolerate you for now. Now, why not actually give Alex some scenarios to deal with as part of training? My training room can provide that.”

“An endless supply of nobodies sees to that.”

Kairi rolled her eyes. “That may be true, but it’s the same scenario over and over again. At some point he’ll start to stagnate, not growing past a certain point.”

“You look like Kairi. You should be well aware that each member of the Organization gives rise to their own type of nobody. Random groupings ensure that there’s enough variety for the time being. I do hope we can start getting ahead of the curve and cut off the source of people being turned into them, though.”

“But that is only fighting,” Kairi argues. “He should be able to tactically meet objectives, like escorting someone or something, or surviving a battle with limited resources. You’re telling me that only fighting Nobodies will prepare him for every situation out there?”

“There is a limited amount of time in a day, and a limit to how far his energy can be stretched before he needs to rest. Getting him trained for combat so that certain things, like dodging, become second-nature has been my top priority to ensure that he survives so that other things can be taught.”

“Perhaps a demonstration is in order,” Kairi suggested.

“What kind of demonstration do you have in mind, and how would we get to your training room all at once?” Lee asked with a raised eyebrow.

Kairi grinned. “I’d have my students run a simulation or two with you watching. Afterwards, you’d have a chance to run the simulations yourself. As for getting there, let’s move to the backyard.”

“Oh, we’re leaving now?” Screwball perked up a bit at this news, then placed a hoof on the table. “We should leave a note for mommy and Fluttershy, otherwise worries about Alex make both crazy.”

Kairi nodded. “Good idea. It’ll give me time to call my students.” She pulled out her phone, selecting one of her contacts. “Hey Twilight… Good job… Listen, I need you to get the girls and head to the training room… Something like that… Alright, we’ll be waiting, bye.” With that, Kairi hung up.

While Kairi was on the phone, Screwball had reached into her hat and pulled out a scroll and a quill and was busy writing a note on it. The scroll and quill were both floating and moving slightly as if being held in the magical grip of a unicorn while Screwball appeared to be nothing more than an earth pony.

Chirithy looked on in surprise. “How are you doing that?”

“Seriously? Discord’s her mother and you’re asking how she does things that defy normal logic?” Alex asked while pushing away from the table and standing up, allowing Screwball to simply float in midair in the exact same position she’d been laying on his lap in.

“Fair point,” Chirithy nodded. “I mean, we haven’t had any contact with Discord yet in our world, so it makes at least a little sense that I’d be questioning it.”

“Fair point.” Alex responded, with his face splitting open in a grin as he did.

Kairi nodded as she gestured for them to follow her into the back yard, as she scrolled through the apps on her phone. Once they were outside, she touched the app labeled “Dial Home” once more, and after 20 seconds, the portal once again wooshed open. “Rides here. Just walk through the Gate, and you’ll be a short walk from the training room.” With those words, she stepped through the portal, followed by Luna and Chirithy.

“Oh, I hope she remembered to make it stay open, otherwise I’m pretty sure Discord’s going to set off all kinds of alarms when he breaks through to her world.” Alex muttered as she stepped up to the portal and paused for a moment.

“No worries, Mister Sister. I’ll leave a trail of breadcrumbs for mommy to follow.” Screwball responded before pushing Alex through the portal and diving in herself.

Lee simply shook his head before stepping through.