To: Applejack
From: Rarity
Darling, is it possible to be overdressed for a funeral? I know Dashie's message said nothing about a dress code, but I want to ensure that my ensemble remains respectful and appropriate. Obviously, sequins are out, but could I possibly get away with a pearl necklace? Ebony, of course. Although, that might stand out too much. Perhaps one in midnight or ink would work better?
Ugh. I'm definitely overthinking this. Unless somebody shows up in an inflatable dinosaur costume, I doubt Rainbow Dash will care about our appearances.
No, the important part is being there to support her, and I'm more than ready for that. She wants ice cream? I've got a coupon. She needs a tissue? I made personalized handkerchiefs. She wants my fainting couch? Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Big McIntosh are on standby to move it. Today, I vow to help her however I can.
I was positively horrid last week. Never again.
To: Sandalwood, Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon, Trixie Lulamoon, Flash Sentry, Zephyr Breeze, +98 others
From: Diamond Tiara
Attention Wondercolts!
After being rained out yesterday, Day 3 of filming for the "Welcome to Canterlot High" video is officially a go! Unfortunately, Twilight Sparkle won't be joining us today, but she's entrusted me with her airtight schedule, so I know we can pull this off without her!
Everyone, please meet in the Canterlot High gymnasium at noon. Vice Principal Luna will be there to let you in. Thanks!
To: Micro Chips
From: Sandalwood
Yo, dude, I am so proud of you. Talking to Bow Hothorse yesterday must've been tough, but you followed through and delivered a totally epic, genuine, and meaningful apology. Both your auras massively changed for the better. In fact, everyone's have! The spiritual and emotional healing this week has been totally rad!!!
Speaking of rad, the new video's coming along nicely. I have three scenes to film today, plus I agreed to help Pinkie bake some Chocolate Coated Caramel Crispy Cookies for the watch party next week. Lemme tell you, getting involved feels waaaaaay better than searching for "the truth". And it's much more fun! A couple of us were worried that Celestia and Luna's supervision might affect the project's authenticity, but they've been real champions of our vision. It's good vibes 24/7! No grudges, no arguments, and especially no eleventh hour chaos destroying our hopes and dreams. Who could ask for more?
It's a real bummer that you're grounded and can't join us. At least you're still the editor!
Oh! Before I forget, make sure to send some cash Diamond Tiara's way. Everyone's pitching in to buy flowers for the... what do we call them? The Dashes? The Whistleses? The Hothoofs? Whatever. We're buying flowers for the family. Funerals are rough, and we want Rainbow Dash to know that we're here for her.
I just hope this project can honor Grandma Hothoof's memory!
To: Bon Bon
From: Lyra Heartstrings
Hold onto your hat! I've got news that will totally and completely rock your world! Can I get a drumroll, please? 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁
...Zephyr Breeze failed his History test!
Obviously, I'm being sarcastic. Nobody's shocked that he only scored twenty-six points. Apparently, his grade's gotten so low that he needs a ninety-five or above on the next three assignments to even pass the class. It's very dire. The dude needs a tutor.
...Or a pair of romantically involved tutors.
This gig was made for us, Sweetie! I know our last study session with him was an absolute train wreck, but times have changed! Zephyr deserves a second chance. Plus, ever since we reunited Sandalwood and Micro Chips the other night, I've been itching to help more people around the school. Becoming "LyraBon: Canterlot High's #1 Tutoring Service" (we'll workshop the name) sounds like the perfect way to keep the kindness train a-chugging!
You're my favorite person, Bon Bon, and I'm glad we stuck together through all the nonsense. Can't wait for our next adventure to begin. <3 <3 <3
To: Rainbow Dash
From: Trixie Lulamoon
The Somber and Respectful Trixie offers her sincere condolences.
When my grandpa died, I couldn't muster up the strength to attend his funeral. Instead, I stayed in bed and taught myself the Four Burglars card trick. Great distraction at the time, but when I tried performing the trick onstage a couple weeks later, I ended up bawling in front of my three-person audience. Totally humiliating, but also, weirdly cathartic? Definitely the most magical part of that magic show.
You're not alone, Rainbow Dash. Whatever you need, I'm here. Your parents are here. Your friends are here. Canterlot High is here. Remember, the Wondercolts would happily break into a school for you. Your support system is both great and powerful. Don't forget that.
Anyway, I'm off to pester Diamond Tiara about including "Tricks Up My Sleeve" in the video. Wish me luck! Talk to you soon.
To: Silver Spoon
From: Diamond Tiara
Can you at least tell me why you're ghosting me? We're about fifty messages deep into your apathy, and there's been zero explanation. No replies, no reactions, not even an emoji! You're my best friend, Silver Spoon! I know I can be an absolute b-word sometimes, but I deserve to know the truth. Why are you ignoring me?!?!
To: Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo
From: Diamond Tiara
Good afternoon, Canterlot Movie Club. Due to recent events, I have decided that you shall be my new Silver Spoon. This comes with certain expectations and responsibilities, of course, but I won't bore you with the details. For now, let's gossip!!!
First, can we talk about Flash Sentry? Total weirdo! He named his vacuum "Earl", and he's been acting like it's his son. Could somebody please get that boy a hobby? Clearly, guitar ain't cutting it! Also, he was spying on my private musical number the other day. Should I unleash my lawyers on him? Yes or no?
Second, what's the dress code for Pipsqueak's birthday party? I have this stunning white dress that I planned to wear for the Spring Fling, but since that's been cancelled, it needs its time in the spotlight elsewhere. And how do we feel about rhinestones? Yes or no?
Third — and keep this on the down-low — I started therapy recently. Yup. Diamond Tiara, the girl who started a school riot, in therapy. Big shock. To be honest, though, it's kinda cool having someone to talk to (someone who actually responds, unlike some people). And who knows, maybe this could lead to a better life: one where I'm happier and feel like I deserve my Wondercolts jersey. Maybe!
Fourth, have you seen Zephyr Breeze anywhere? His annoying face was supposed to be on camera six minutes ago! If you find him, tell him to come to the gym immediately. Thanks.
CMCs, this feels like the start of a wonderful friendship!
To: Zephyr Breeze
From: Rainbow Dash
Hey, dude. I know you're busy with the video, and I'm busy with the funeral, but... I never thanked you for what happened.
You were right. I was avoiding my parents. Sixty-three ignored texts and thirty-nine missed calls (I counted). The get-together was the perfect excuse to hide from them, and then busting into the school was intoxicating, y'know? The ultimate distraction!
Except I didn't need a distraction, I needed to face reality. Calling the cops was maybe excessive, but I do appreciate the gesture. When we got home, my parents and I spent the night talking, crying, and reminiscing... which we needed. Felt pretty darn good, and it never would've happened without your intervention. So... thanks.
You're a cool dude, Zephyr. Sometimes infuriating, but cool. Maybe we could hang out sometime —platonically, of course. We'll talk when I'm back in school.
To: Vice Principal Luna
From: Principal Celestia
Sister, I can't believe I'm saying this, but... all's well that ends well?
This whole debacle has been stressful from day one, and it finally seems to be over! The Wondercolts are friends again, none of them are in serious legal trouble, and the video project is nearly complete! What a miraculous conclusion.
Canterlot High may not be perfect, but it's one of the good ones. I'm very proud to be its principal.
Wait. What was that?
To: Sandalwood
From: Flash Sentry
NOOOOOO EARL!!!!!!!!!!!!
To: Lyra Heartstrings
From: Bon Bon
Did you see that?! Someone just threw Flash Sentry's vacuum off the roof!
To: Diamond Tiara, Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon, Trixie Lulamoon, Flash Sentry, Zephyr Breeze, +98 others
From: Sandalwood
Does anyone have the video?! I can't believe I missed it!!!
To: Sandalwood, Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon, Diamond Tiara, Flash Sentry, Zephyr Breeze, +98 others
From: Trixie Lulamoon
Not pointing any fingers, but Zephyr Breeze has been gone for a while...
To: Sandalwood, Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon, Diamond Tiara, Trixie Lulamoon, Zephyr Breeze, +98 others
From: Flash Sentry
WHOEVER DID THIS TO EARL IS GONNA PAY
To: Sandalwood, Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon, Diamond Tiara, Trixie Lulamoon, Zephyr Breeze, +98 others
From: Flash Sentry
SERIOUSLY HE WAS EXPENSIVE
To: Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo
From: Diamond Tiara
Ugh! Can't we go one week without some inane drama?!
To: Lyra Heartstrings
From: Zephyr Breeze
Why is everyone messaging me?! And who the heck is Earl?!
To: Vice Principal Luna
From: Principal Celestia
Shoot.
To: Diamond Tiara
From: Silver Spoon
Hey bestie! Totally forgot to mention: I got a new number! Sorry! When you stopped texting, I thought you were going through another one of your "cold and distant" phases, which usually pass after some "alone time"... My bad!!! Hope you didn't send anything important!
BTW, you need to catch me up on everything that happened while I was sick! Featherweight called earlier and mentioned a "get-together" and "jail"(???), but the connection was horrible. Doesn't sound like too much happened in my absence, though!
Anyways, see you soon! XOXO